Cast Blog: #RHONY

Mario: For the Record

No one is safe when The Real Husband of NYC dishes on tennis, Jill's apartment, and Silex.

After being told about the negative things Jill said about me on her blog last week and then reading it for myself, I felt it was time to set the record straight. To begin the tennis match this year was never Jill's idea nor was it supposed to be a rematch of last year's girls doubles. I had approached Ramona with the idea of doing a mixed doubles match with one of her girlfriends and I would arrange to get a friend of mine of equal ability as myself to have a fun game. We then thought that either Jill or LuAnn would be a good opponent but ultimately decided on Jill because of the competitive nature between the two girls. I told Ramona I would get my good friend and tennis pro, Kirk Moritz, who had recently become the director of tennis at a beautiful new private club in Queens called City View Racquet. He readily accepted and I was looking forward to what I felt would be a fun yet very competitive game. Kirk has been a tennis teaching pro for years and was also nationally ranked in both the men's seniors, which I currently compete in, as well as the men's circuit in his youth. We have played each other many times over the years in tournaments as well as practice, and our matches are always close and competitive. He is a real gentleman and a class guy. I knew this mixed doubles match would be very entertaining both to play and for people to watch. I was actually concerned that Jill and Kirk could defeat Ramona and me, but that's what good tennis is about — where the outcome is in doubt. Who likes to watch a one-sided affair in any sport?!

I approached Jill at the Russell Simmons benefit and invited her to play. Immediately Jill being who she is reacted with "I'll get my own pro. I don't trust you Mario. You'll probably set me up with some loser just so you and Ramona can beat me." Interesting how Jill would think that way, but her nature is to always get the upper hand and make you look bad. In any case, after a couple of months of her stalling and sending me e-mails that she was too busy, out of town, and her pro was coming from the West coast and only available on two days that were impossible for me to play, we finally got the match set up, and of course I was embarrassed to let Kirk know that he would not be playing at his own club because Jill thought he was not good enough without even seeing him hit a ball. Now,not only had Jill taken what was supposed to be a fun game and turned it into an "I'm Jill Zarin and I have to win event," but she even claimed that she had set up the game and found the venue where the match was going to take place. She also accused me of saying I was so upset at the Page Six party that I was taking my toys home and going home. Funny, I thought I said that to her.For those of you who do not follow professional tennis, Jill had gotten 32-year-old Justin Gimelstob who was ranked 63 in the world in 1999, won numerous professional tournaments around the world, and earned over $2.5 million over his playing career. Of course I did not know who she had actually gotten but my guess was not far off when I said he was probably two or three decades younger than me, and of course I always thought she was going to get a world class player. I wonder how much she was paying Justin to come to NYC to play?

As you saw in last night's episode, Justin cancelled in the 11th hour and Jill was stuck without her "ace in the hole" so she could "kick our ass," even though she could have called me and I would have had Kirk play in Justin's place. Enter Bethenny who thinks she is an expert on just about anything and claims she knows someone who plays well and would make a great match. Besides, it was just a "stupid tennis match." If that were the case than why was Jill going to all the trouble to fly a world class player for something that was so stupid? Clearly Behenny has no idea about tennis and should stick to cooking and one-liners.

This brings me to Silex. Alex once again shows what a pathological liar she is by claiming Simon used to play a ton of tennis and can actually play the game. Simon continues to show how obsessed with crashing the party he is, no matter how much he embarrasses himself as long as he gets his face on TV. 

Ramona and I were at the scheduled time at the club for the match and then had to wait for over two hours for Jill and her mystery pro to appear. By this point we were so bored and fed up and feeling embarrassed about our friends who had come as well as Jill's friends with their tacky team Jill t-shirts, that it was anticlimactic when SiJill finally make their big entrance. They thought they were going to get a big reaction from Ramona, and to her credit she just let it roll like water off a duck's ass. Did Jill call my wife an ass or did she say her ass looked good? I'll have to watch the reruns.Not only was this a joke of a tennis game but boring as hell to watch. People had come to see some good tennis, and boy where they disappointed. Jill of course changed her entire demeanor by now going from wanting to kick our ass to just having fun. Yet in the end she says that she actually thinks that she and Simon could have won the set had he been feeling better. Boy is she delusional and not in touch with reality.

That brings me to the  remodeling "Casa Zarin." Jill certainly should have been anxious leaving this project in Brad's hands; she should have been petrified. Bethenny was spot-on when she said it looked like she had taken an "acid trip." It certainly fits Jill's personality: loud, garish, obnoxious, and zero taste. The only thing missing was plastic slipcovers on the sofas. You'd think that someone who supplies fabric, drapes, and furnishing to hotels and high end clientele who come in with their decorators would have a sense of style and taste. Not only does Jill lack these traits put her sidekick Brad is even worse and more pigheaded than Jill. Wow — what a disaster. Fortunately Bobbieeeee is in the trade and probably got everything at cost.

In closing I have one last word of advice for Simon: You should stick to what you do best — getting pedicures, gin martinis, and being a fashion disaster. Oh and lose the Speedos. But then again, you really don't care how foolish you look.

All the best,

Mario