Housewife Detox

I'm not feeling this week's show AT ALL, not even sure I can find something to say about it. Maybe it's because I'm on Housewife overload from the A-List Awards. Either way, this episode was like trying to watch TV on codeine. They should have been filming the Housewives on their down time during the A-List Awards. Now that was some funny shit. As I looked around at all these ladies and listened to them talk, drink, and throw their own cast members under the Bravo bus, I finally had an AH-HA moment. I must be totally F'd up. What have I done to myself? I use to be a stay-at-home mom with 4 kids wearing sweats and a ponytail. Now I am a tan, false eyelash wearing, middle aged bimbo on a TV show? Have I sold my soul to the devil? I think I need therapy or housewife detox.

Of all the Housewives I would have to say that Kim was the biggest character. She was constantly followed by a 300 lb body guard as if she was a star on a non-cable network. She swore like a truck driver, drank like a fish and smoked as if it was her only oxygen. Despite all that, she was nice to me and makes for good TV.

NeNe was a close second with her larger than life attitude. But overall she was very nice and her husband Greg seems to love her very much. She let all of us know that the Atlanta show put the franchise on the map.

I would have to say that some of these women are letting their 15 minutes of fame go to their heads in a big way. Some were traveling with their personal hair stylist, makeup artist, and assistants as though they were J-Lo instead of Hell-No. If they ever DID make it, their head would be too big for their own body.

Kelly was very quiet and almost childlike shy. She constantly smiled and played with her hair. I would have to say that she is more beautiful in person.

Gretchen and I made nice for the camera, but neither one of us gives a crap about the other. She too constantly laughing and played with her hair. 10 minutes before we were to walk the red carpet, Lauri accidentally sprayed Gretchen with her self-tanner. Her dress had a brown spot on her right boob, and I all I could think was, 'NOW THAT ZEBRA HAS SPOTS!' BA-BA-Boom.

I hung out mostly with Ramona and Bethenny, my two favorite NY girls. They are very low key and try hard to stay out of the drama. They are no bullshit type of girls that don't play games - just don't piss them off!

I loved my dress I wore to the A-List Awards. I thought it was great color to kick off spring and was very comfortable. For those of you that have been asking me, it is a Nicole Miller (which is very affordable $420.00.) I was outfitted by Sabrina at http://www.glittergirl.biz/

Here was my take on last night's show:

Charity events: Enough already!
Jill's third eye: If I loved diamonds I guess I would be jealous?
Kelly and Max at dinner: I swore she said fart-fest.
LuAnn playing basketball: She did not just call herself LULU. She is getting worse!
Jill's apartment: The place looked like Blue's Clues got it on with Liberace.
Jill and Simon practicing tennis: Don't most 50 year old men have a dropping ball?
Simon saying the most important part of tennis is to get the ball back and forth: No shit Sherlock
Alex saying it wasn't fair, he didn't get a chance to warm up: Cleopatra - Queen of Denial
"Team Jill" t-shirts: Somebody please buy her shirts so she will stop!
Simon's tennis outfit, running into the pole and picking his butt: PRICELESS

On a personal note, I am excited about my new website www.tamrabarney.com that will be launching in the next couple weeks. It will be a place to shop, video blogs, OC reviews, contests, monthly giveaways, photos, behind the scenes videos and so much more. Please log on and register.