Cast Blog: #RHONY

Cutting Commentary

Simon talks fashion shows, shopping sprees, and Kodak meltdowns.

 

This episode kicks off with LuAnn arrive at a house, and let’s start with a little quiz. Just before we see LuAnn’s scene indicator you see the backs of two people walking the streets of SoHo; any idea who they are? So LuAnn arrives at the residence of RHONYC#7, Sonja Morgan to ask her to donate some clothes for the SoHo Partnership’s new store. We quickly learn that Sonja and Kelly have had a man in common and with that little pertinent background where straight off into the introduction of just who is Sonja. All I can say is welcome, Sonja! You’re joining a wild ride and just somehow I am pretty confident you’re going to handle it well. Back sitting down with LuAnn and Sonja, we get to hear that she names her closets after various states of the USA, see an elevator stuffed full of clothes and then Sonja offers to host the ‘Cocktails and Couture’ event.

Bobby joins Jill for a pizza slice, and in voiceover we hear Jill complain again about being sabotaged and ambushed. This presumably is only OK when you’re the one setting it up, as she did to Bethenny with Kelly last year. Bobby had read the letter from Bethenny and gave Jill some good and sage advice; perhaps he should have had a credit on the Kamen/Wexler/Zarin book?

Bethenny’s down at South Street Seaport handing out a new healthy sandwich, and is joined by Alex where again Alex acts as a sounding -board; a skill she has in abundance. Either Bethenny’s wearing the same clothes twice or she’s just come from the tête-à-tête with Jill. She’s clearly still shell shocked by Jill’s dismissal of her and at LuAnn’s continual meddling. What’s interesting about this is that some 7 months after all this played out during filming, Jill seems to finally getting to realize the error of her ways and is now giving media interviews where she seems to want to mend fences with Bethenny. I suppose watching yourself on TV is the ultimate in taking a good hard look at yourself in a mirror.

Jill and LuAnn meet for a quiet stroll in Central Park and I must say it does irk me when I hear the constant reference to the titles of Count and Countess as being ‘Royalty.' Irrespective of whether or not these titles have any meaning here in the USA, being a Count indicates that you’re a part of the Nobility not Royalty. And with that, let’s take a walk in the park. After a quick lesson from Jill on atonement we then, for the 1600th time, learn that LuAnn was married for 16 years. Did you get that! ;-) Seemingly the psychic was well briefed as not only did she know so much about Bethenny and Jill but LuAnn is now seeing a man who name starts with J.

 

So last week we saw LuAnn and Ramona in night attire and this week’s Ramona’s turn. Having set up a champagne welcome for Mario’s homecoming, she suggests that they hold a ceremony recommitting to each other after 16 years of marriage. (Hmmm – 16 years ... why does that number sound familiar?)

Finally we’re at Brooklyn Fashion Week{end} and WOW, at last our theme of classical strings has been replaced with electrical guitar. I do so hope that’s a permanent change. Now if we can only change the voiceover about status too! You see Derek, Alex and me adjusting the runway and then Ramona turns up with Pinot Grigio, her own glasses and fortunately shares some with tonight’s closing designer Loris Diran. Mohawked Alex is seen giving an interview about the event but tonight’s main event is obviously Ramona and her runway walk. What’s great here is to see how relaxed she is; too bad that nerves got her in the end. Kelly and Sea arrive followed not long after by Jill. And the complaining starts about the trash by the step and repeat. (Hey Jill, your store on the LES is often surrounded by bags of trash; that’s a part of city living and we all have to endure it on trash nights, heaven forfend - even on the UES!) You can tell that by the time of the blue sweater voiceovers that Jill has firmly decided that Alex is not on her team. What was it that she said to Alex in the first episode – if Alex isn’t on her side it’s a problem. Well it looks like the problem has brewed. Jill has another go at Kelly regarding a tweet about Bethenny. Wow, I never got the memo that my friends can’t make their own friends, didn’t we grow out of that behavior in High School? Or better still, Middle School?

And with that the show begins ... with running commentary from Jill. "The chairs were uncomfortable," "the audience wasn’t dressed right," "the skirt didn’t fit" and after several professional models, the housewives walk. First Kelly in a beautiful yellow dress and I have to agree that Kelly’s right when she says that strapless dresses aren’t right for her, next up is Alex and despite what Jill said I thought Alex walked wonderfully and look fantastic. Jill’s "but her face" comment about Alex was not only uncalled for and mean, but also contrary to Jill’s oft repeated phrase, "If you have nothing nice to say... .”

And lastly we have Ramona; just prior a model wore a red strapless dress and at last Jill saw something that she liked about that night and you heard her say, "That’s stunning.” But then out comes Ramona. I have to say that backstage she looked gorgeous, her hair and make up and so on looked great, and while she stayed relaxed, wow! However, we all have had attack of the nerves before and clearly Ramona suffered hers as soon as she walked out. As you hear me say to Jill – Ramona’s eyes were popping – there’s no other way to say it. I certainly don’t think she looked like an idiot and also isn’t it better to try and not succeed than not try at all? Jill not knowing where any of us were was strange. Backstages at fashion shows are never hard to find.

 

Interstitial time and it’s me shopping ... and not with Alex but with Kelly! The great thing about fashion is we can all choose to disagree; Kelly is free to not like my style just as I am to not like hers, furry coats and all. But I do have to say that was a fun little scene.

At Bethenny’s we see (hopefully the reenactment of) her peeing on a stick promptly followed by her calling Jason and leaving a message. As she couldn’t speak with him and understandably needing to speak with someone other than Cookie she phones her friend.

Jill’s hosting a Kodak event, a night that we tried to get to, but that night we had another event to which we’d previously committed. After LuAnn and Kelly arrive, Ramona arrives and never one to be shy asks Jill some pertinent questions regarding how and why she’s got involved with them. This is another time where Ramona forgets that there’s a time and a place for everything and I have got to say that Kelly was right on. Sonja arrives significantly lightening the mood, meets Jill for the first time and then when she meets Kelly we discover who discovered Max/Max. It seems that Sonja met him on his first day in NYC, and if that’s the case I am sure he had quite a first day in our fine city. Looks like he’s quite the expert at maximizing his time in New York.

Jill starts her speech at her Kodak event and in the background Ramona and Kelly go at it. Both were inappropriate – and while I don’t think anything Ramona could say would sabotage her endorsement, again there’s a time and a place and certainly at the event wasn’t the time.

 

I apologize in advance if tonight’s blog feels a little dialed in let me apologize. Since our book Little Kids Big City was published last week, Alex and I have crossed the country on a media and book signing blitz. In fact, I am sitting here tonight at Borders in Orange County finishing writing this blog and about to start a reading, Q&Aand signing.

Tomorrow and Saturday we’re in Dallas and Plano, and next Thursday through Sunday we’re in South Florida. We’re planning more signings but please do check out http://www.McCordvanKempen.com for all our signings. I do try to read all the comments on my blogs and from the bottom of my heart I thank you all for your wonderful compliments about my writing. If you like my writing style please do buy our book, as there’s much more of the same in there.

Until next week.