Cast Blog: #RHONY

Fight or Flight

Sonja recaps Bethenny and Kelly's hot mess of a showdown in St. John.


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Now for Episode 12.
The first morning on the boat I felt really bad for Bethenny. The night before had been too much for her after what she had been through with her father passing. She came to have a vacation and relax at this stage in her pregnancy. By the way, I was sick as a dog when I was pregnant. The whole time, right to the bitter end. Everyone said I would feel better after the first three months. Wrong! So I was impressed that Bethenny came to support Ramona even though she was pregnant.

The gift bags Bethenny gave us were a thoughtful, generous gesture. I like that Jill tried to calm Kelly when she got to her room, and didn't stir the pot.

It was nice of Kelly to invite Bethenny to shoot pictures with us, but I don't blame Bethenny for not partaking. It was the perfect excuse to stay home and relax.

Ramona looked so hot for the shoot. Oh my gosh, her workouts and planks paid off! Kelly made us all feel beautiful and that was the most important thing, not that we looked silly (and allowed it to be taped for television!) Alex had on the glasses and hat from Bethenny's gift bag, and Kelly styled them. Alex was a good sport and did it all in the name of fun! It takes a lot to trust any photographer. I think Kelly must have something good out of that shoot, though. Ramona and I had our own photo shoot on the side, we always know how to have a good time no matter what. Did I speak too soon?


Ramona did nothing but arrange a wonderful trip. Presidio del Mar of St John on Peter's Bay is absolutely stunning and well laid out. I really enjoyed discovering this home, its gardens (remember I am a gardener) and meeting the charming owner. The M/V Lady Olga was terrific too, I like the way the galley was set up like a kitchen in your own home. You could hang out there around the chef's island and it had a comfy seating area, television, etc. The chef was the captain's wife! She always had a plate of brownies or cookies out for us to enjoy. It was a very nice atmosphere. When the chef is happy, everyone is happy. When the chef isn't happy, no one is happy. I know firsthand. A 150 foot yacht quickly becomes very small when you are out to sea and someone goes bonkers, for whatever reason.

I could feel LuAnn's eerie premonition for Kelly having accepted the trip! I was planning on protecting Kelly and making sure she had fun and wasn't picked on.

Bethenny is some chef! I am a restaurant consultant, celebrity ambassador, lifestyle expert, PR personality, or whatever you want to call it, so I promise you that meal was super! Excluding atmosphere!!! A hostess has to be very careful who they put together on a trip and unfortunately no seating arrangement could help that situation. I have a lot of experience putting 12 people together for 10 days on a boat. You had better be good to do that and even then you take your chances when people are drinking. Excitement, expectation and actuality combined can be devastating if one is not happy inside.

I just wanted to talk hair, fashion, and other light, silly topics with the girls and poor Bethenny was hiding in the kitchen! She was in straight up, undeniable "fight or flight" mode at this point. I was so nervous I couldn't stop with the hair flipping and clothing fussing. It was painful to watch myself on camera. Ramona must have felt the same because she didn't want the crab cake to go back to the kitchen. So, I ate it! A third crab cake! Where was my poodle Millou when I needed him? I don't want the poochie growing!


I can't believe Kelly gets the string and can't cut through her steak! What are the odds of that? And, she doesn't notice the string! She probably thought the meat was tough. At this point I am so scared there is a blow up coming so I am trying to stake down compliments to the food and substantiate my opinion with my credentials to try and combat any negative comments that may come. That usually works within a normal social conversation. Everyone just follows suit.

I like that Ramona reached out to Bethenny to bond over the Brooklyn Bridge thing. Whatever that was, it was good they could share feelings. That's what brings people closer and bonded.

I want to believe Bethenny didn't speak negatively about Kelly's children to the press, even though Kelly feels strongly that she did, for sure. I like to believe Bethenny would own up to it if she had, especially at this critical point. It was hard for me to watch this scene. I felt we all had to take responsibility for what had transpired. I felt Kelly's pain as well as Bethenny's and just wanted to make everyone whole again.

I didn't fall into the shots routine again! Kelly mentions coming back with her favorite shots. She always offers them to everyone, but I caught her putting her shot aside the night after she got me out of bed (when I really needed to stay in bed!), and then we ended up at the Hooters boat! I spoke to her about this, and now she understands how I feel. You can't toast eye to eye and not go shot for shot with your friends. If I had gone for her tequila move again I wouldn't have been able to make any sense whatsoever of the whole hot mess. Bottom line, I am sad that Bethenny and Kelly were not able to resolve their differences.

I needed a vacation after this vacation. My sympathies to Ramona for her great efforts (and everyone's by the way) but not my idea of a vacation.

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Carole: I’m Cautious in Matters of the Heart

Carole explains why she wasn't rushing to discuss her new relationship with the other ladies and how she felt about Bethenny's suggestion to rebrand death. Were you actively trying to keep your relationship with Adam a secret from Luann in the beginning?

Carole Radziwill: No, I’m not a woman who overshares. And I'm fairly sure the audience knows this about me by now. You don’t see me each week talking, talking, talking about every last thought that pops into my head.  Also, I believe there is an expectation of privacy, even among good friends, and especially among social friends. I live by that in my real life (with my friends outside the show), and it’s no different than my reality life on TV. The best advice I can give a girl is to keep new relationships private. There is nothing like a handful of well-intentioned “girlfriend advice” to derail a blooming romance. That being said, when Adam and I started seeing each other, I wasn’t sure if it would develop into anything worth talking about. I’m cautious in matters of the heart. But after a few weeks, it was clear that we like each other’s company; he was kind and cooked; but mostly, he thought I was funny. Like I said, it’s not complicated. When I next saw Heather and Kristen, I told them I'd been seeing Adam. As for telling Luann, I was genuinely happy to tell her the next time we saw each other privately. Adam had dated her niece, and while they had broken up over a year before Adam and I met, they remained friends. All good. I assumed Luann would be happy to hear of her little love connection--it’s good karma! Turns out I’m not always right. You mention the perks of dating someone under 35/over 75. Can you explain that a little more?

CR: I’ve learned that much older men and much younger men are more grateful for the company of a woman. It’s the men your own age that make things more complicated than need be. This is true at any age. When I was in my 20s, 20-something men were a pain in the ass. Maybe it’s just the higher expectations and greater social pressure in a relationship of two age-appropriate people. That said, I think age, much like race or gender, is irrelevant when you connect with someone on an intellectual or spiritual level. What went through your mind when you found out you had to move your late husband’s ashes?

CR: At first, I thought it had to be a mistake. The church had been sold and the graves moved? It’s the log line to a Hollywood movie, not a storyline in a reality show. Churches can be sold? Caskets and urns replaced? But after speaking with the church secretary, I did what anyone in my place would have done--including my husband--I laughed. Not a long laugh, maybe it was a nervous laugh but still, a laugh. My husband was the king of practical jokes, and I thought this was the best one yet. Then after coming to terms with the idea of going to London and bringing the urn back, I was excited to have it back. He was and still is a piece of my life. A great one at that. Since your conversation with Bethenny, have you had any ideas for how to rebrand death and being a widow?

CR: No, and let me say that that conversation at the time was a little bit surprising. And no less in re-watching it this week. It’s been 15 years since my husband died. I’ve heard everything, well, except, the re-branding of death. That was new. But I’m used to people being very uncomfortable around the subject of death. They say the weirdest and dumbest things. It’s still awkward, but it just doesn’t shock me any longer. I, like many young widows, have very well developed gallows humor. I only hoped on that night Dorinda did too. Filed Under: People Say the Strangest Things

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