Talk, Talk, Talk, Gossip, Gossip, Gossip
Teresa Giudice breaks down the final island episode and defends the use of the word "ho-bag."
I wasn’t sure this week’s episode could top last week’s record-breaking, vampire-and-gummy bear, crazy-face-meltdown one … and unfortunately, it didn’t. I was totally disturbed by last week’s episode — it was way too much crazy, and as I said last week, I know crazy. But to go from that to this week’s calm, sweet, episode was kind of extreme. It felt like watching one of the earlier episodes … all talk, talk, talk, gossip, gossip, gossip. I know the ladies deserved some relaxation, but I didn’t need to watch the pedicures. It almost put me to sleep (from nightmares last week to falling asleep this week … what a ride!).
Jill’s arrival on the island was pretty awkward. I don’t think she had a chance to figure anything out. She felt the tension, sort of smelled it in the air, like an animal smells a predator, and she ran. Did you see Alex’s face? She looked like she was going to explode. And the shaking? Scary! I was afraid poor Alex was going to have a nervous breakdown. Reality TV is hard. You put yourself out there and you have no control over which parts they show (and don’t show). And you are shooting sometimes 15 hour-days for months and months. It’s exhausting – physically and mentally. I feel for all of them: pregnant and stressed Bethenny, trembling and shell-shocked Alex, trying-to-please-everyone Ramona, overwhelmed-and-unaware Kelly, and elephant-in-the-room Jill. Oh, and can’t-sing-to-save-her-life LuAnn. Only Sonja came out without any battle wounds, but she’s new. Let’s check back with her next season….
Speaking of new girls, what about Jennifer Gilbert? I met her at The Real Houswives of NJ premiere party at the Brownstone and she’s really lovely (and if you’ve never met Alex in person, she was there too and she is supermodel pretty. I know it sounds like an insult, and I hear the same thing all the time too: “You’re so much prettier in person!” but for Alex, it’s true. Maybe the TV lighting makes her look too angular or something, but in person, she glows.) Anyway, I know Jennifer is a mom of young kids like me and Jacqueline, and I’d love to see more of her story. Her son was a cutie, but I didn’t even catch his name.
I did catch quite a bit of potty mouth and body parts talking though. Ha! See, we aren’t the only ones out in Jersey talking about sex and our chuckies. Even the classy Manhattan girls talk about penis size, handcuffs, big ears??? And for the record, LuAnn, I say “hobag." It’s a great word, especially when you know someone who is. What do you recommend we say instead?: “Someone who indiscreetly engages in sexual transgressions with the entire Metro area”?
I thought Bobby was very sweet and loyal, as always. He’s a great guy. The toilet paper bridal dresses on Ramona and Bethenny was very cute. Nice to see some actual friendship. Ramona said “love love love love”! (she added an extra one) and was so super sweet to everyone. (You know it’s a calm episode when Ramona is nothing but nice to everyone.) The only things I didn’t want to see was Sonja’s dress falling off and the the thought of her giving the Heimlich to a poodle….
It might have been a nice, calm week for the New York ladies, but it was an amazing, exciting week for me! I got to watch my beautiful baby Audriana being born on The Real Housewives of New Jersey – follow me on Facebook or Twitter (@teresa_giudice) to see pictures of her now. Thank you all so much for your incredibly sweet wishes and congrats!!! Dina is a great godmother, and I cried again watching that scene! I am so sorry if you don’t have kids and my labor scared you though. I had NO IDEA Bravo was going to show the huge freakin’ needle going into my back like that! I was having phantom contractions sitting on the couch watching the episode, so I’m sure you guys were too. But it’s totally worth it, of course. All babies are!
My other baby, my book Skinny Italian actually climbed up the NYT Best-seller list to No. 5 this week as well. I cannot believe how blessed I am to have such amazing, amazing fans. The stories you are sending me of how you are eating healthy, learning to love yourself more, and how your kids are not being as picky – as well as the gorgeous photos of you hot Italian cooks! – mean more to me than you could ever know! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Tanti Baci, Teresa