Ain't Love Grand

Alex explains why she attended LuAnn's party and why she tried to run interference for Ramona.

Can you believe it’s the end??? Well, of the regular season that is.

Wait. Can I just tell you, I’m writing this blog looking out of my hotel suite at the pyramids -- as in Egypt. The seven wonders of the world, or rather the only part of them that's still standing. Yes, I know there's been a lot of unrest with the revolution, but Mubarak is out of power, and it's safe for tourists, particularly if you don't put on underwear and go jogging. It's magical and you should go.

Infomercial for Egypt over; let's discuss the finale. I could not have looked worse on the way to the photoshoot for The Block. Red skin, no makeup and my best dorky laugh. Oh well -- the pictures looked amazing and you can see them here.

Sonja sometimes has trouble letting people speak. You do have to take turns when a friend has a problem -- I speak, then you speak, etc. With that said, at the orchid market Sonja was making sense. Cindy wasn't. Cindy was rude, and Sonja was accommodating until she couldn't take it anymore. Cindy stormed out (maybe she read that in LuAnn's book), and Sonja won.

Simon and I had dinner with the gang at Ramona's, and we had such a good time that night. Not sure how we all got to talking about periods, but part of the reason things got so crazy in Morocco is that all seven of us had gotten onto the same cycle. I gave out so many, ahem, feminine hygiene implements, that week the entire box was gone, so I knew Ramona was still in the game.

Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I leave my phone in my bag at dinner. That night I was worried about one of the kids, so I kept it close, but thought I had it on vibrate. I was embarrassed when it rang, but very curious when I saw it was LuAnn. I'm sure you can imagine that due to everything you saw, LuAnn and I didn't have each other on speed dial. I excused myself and took the call. She seemed so sweet and genuine in that moment that I had to say yes. I'll admit it, I'm a complete sop when it comes to love and people falling in love. I was convinced an engagement was coming and hoping that Jacques would marry her and whisk her off to Paris. Forever.

That night on the boat, Simon and I were both in horrible moods. He had quit smoking (again) the day before and we were in survival mode. LuAnn told us in advance she would wear red, yet she wore white. That was a good sign. We were trying to hold it together long enough to support LuAnn and Jacques, since it was such a big step for her to give up her title and whatever arrangements she made with her ex, to start a new life with her new love. It didn't happen!

We all waited quite a long time at the pier, and finally we checked our email -- just in time for Kelly to make fun of us. Guess she doesn't ever get work emails on her phone. And if I hadn't seen the movie The Ice Storm, I would never have known what Kelly was talking about regarding keys. It's from 1979, I guess.

I went to the bathroom, and decided to create a diversion to get Jill, Cindy, and Kelly away from spying on Ramona and Sonja. I made a snap decision – whatever was going on in there, they didn’t need Jill banging on the door bugging them. If they wanted to do a pregnancy test, freebase, or feel each other up, they did not need company. Good on Ramona for not spilling the beans under pressure.

We all love Natalie Cole, and not only did she sing beautifully that night, she presented us all with Tiffany necklaces with our initials which blew me away. But no engagement happened.

What else? Simon and I are so thrilled with life right now that we're practically jumping out of our skin. You'll learn more about that next week. In the mean time, despite the closing credits you'll hopefully agree with me that there's no auto-tune present with Simon in this performance. If you’d like to add the studio version to your playlist, go here or check out the club mix.

If you want to keep up with us -- and see photos of our trip to Egypt -- follow my dear husband and me on Twitter and Facebook. Fashion recap is here, and in the mean time I am thrilled to report that this week in Cairo and Giza I have heard and said “Salaam alykom” and “Shokrun” constantly, but not one person has said “ya habibi.” Then again, I’m here on business.

Until Monday. . .

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