All Cried Out
Our Associate Editor ponders the greatness of the moment we've waited all season for.
Welcome back my RHONYers
I hope you pulled your camels right up close to the tents and are ready to settle in because we've got much to cover. We're right in the Oreo middle of our Moroccan trilogy and we're picking up right whence we left our ladies. With Ramona having her fortune read in the pantry of Brad's "house." Come let's Top 5 this out, shall we?
Number 5: The Reason You Don't Have Your Fortune Told in a Foreign Language
Just for future reference, if you're having your fortune read, don't add a language barrier into the mix. Because then, when the seer, or what-have you, tells you something less than jubilant, you don't have to have people question what "une autre femme" means exactly. (Could it be une fille?)
To the rescue: Kelly Killoren Bensimon, the AltaVista of fortune telling. She's not inferring anything. She's just telling it like the French psychic did. Though we're not sure that really helped much, nor did Sonja's teary admission that maybe Mario would leave Ramo after Avery went to college? Nor did Jill's side comments. I'm reserving my right to, "Oh brother," right out of this situation. Thankfully Sonja and Ramona hugged it out, and all seems to be well with the recently renewed couple so Movingon.org. . .
Number 4: Jill Zarin's Fanny Pak
Inanimate objects belonging to Jill Zarin are really earning their keep in Morocco this trip. After a strong showing by her glasses last week, this week she's back with a shopping in the souk outfit that really let people know she wanted a bargain. Sonja on the other hand wore this:
Also there was a massive fight over saving seats. Mental note: Do not give Cindy Barshop the Forrest Gump treatment. She sits where she pleases. Pecking order or seating arrangement be damned.
Number 3: Like a Camel
The moment I saw the woman on camels in our season trailer my whole life was changed. I've been anxiously awaiting seeing them mount up and trek across the dessert for weeks. And then it happened and it was more than I've ever imagined.
For example, did you know that when it's that time of the month it's hard to ride a camel? I didn't, but I learned that from Sonja. Or did you know that camels exist on a diet high in bracelets? Neither did I, but Jill Zarin taught me that. Or were you aware that camels and Countesses don't mix?
I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief that that "epileptic seizure" did not take our dear Countess from us. S'mores for everyone!
Number 2: The Real Housewives and Chicken
After they dismounted those spitting creatures (all of the animals in Morocco spit apparently, snakes, camels, etc.), the ladies had a really delightful meal in an enormous tent. It was lovely, except for the fact that no one listened to each other until people were wearing the "Salt Shaker of Speaking," and even then that didn't work too well. But there is this:
But the dinner is not my favorite part of this deal. . . nor was it some of the ladies. The next morning proved to have a bit of stomach troubles for our gals. Sonja and Ramona ate something that gave them a bit of pause, and Jill knew exactly why. It was the fruit, or the meat. But her advice that "If it doesn't start with a chicken and end with a chicken" not to eat it reminded me of one of my favorite moments from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Watch this video and ponder if Jill and Kim Richards should have dinner sometime.
Number 1: "I'm Here! I'm Sorry"
OK, OK. Besides the camels there was another big moment everyone was waiting for in Morocco: Jill and Ramona's "Come to Jesus" (even if Jesus isn't your sort of thing, says Jill).
Let's get real for a second. Ramona and Jill need to be friends. They've got oodles of history, and obviously have tender wonderful feelings for each other deep down in there. When Jill was clutching that koala bear a couple of weeks ago I was devastated -- not just because I know Ramona would have clipped it right onto her glass of pinot, but because I want them to be friends. They belong together.
However this was not the fight to reunite them. I had a bad feeling based on the tinkling of Jill's Diet Coke as she walked to Ramona's room and then when Scary Island was brought up, it was all over. I don't think Ramona, or that bed will ever be the same again.
So that's it my little camel riders. Next week we close our trilogy with a supersized episode -- a fact you will delight in because it allows more of this scene, which I beseech you to watch now. I've seen it about 9 times.