Cast Blog: #RHONY

And the Guests Wore White

Our Associate Editor discusses wedding etiquette, facial expressions, and business.

We've waited so long, but as the first blissful moments of The Real Housewives of New York City Season 4 washed over us, every second of anticipation was worth it. Our New York women had returned to us, and all was right with the world.

So how can one even begin to recap their greatness? I've decided to whittle the hour of zen to the top five moments each week, one for each of NYC's boroughs. It's very symmetrical and it gives us a chance to reflect on the parts of the city the 'Wives often miss.

The Brooklynite Award

We started off with a little rooftop get-together reuniting the ladies. And Alex is feeling a little cagey. Her and Jill have been estranged, and she's not sure how to handle it. How do we know? Because Jill Zarin can read Alex's face like a book.

"But I got a lot of ice from Alex. I mean, she makes this face when she's uncomfortable."

Cut to Alex looking impressively annoyed.

Alex also mentioned her feelings in this bonus video so we can confirm Jill knows what's up. Oh Alex, I have a hard time controlling my facial expressions as well (shameless throw to our video with Curtis Stone), so I commend you that you managed to keep your disdain mostly contained, that is until later in the party. . .

The No Woman is a Staten Island Award

No woman is an island – which is why Ramona needs two assistants. If you were a serial entrepreneur you would too. How do you think Tru Renewal, TrueFaith, and her truest passion Ramona Pinot Grigio come to fruition? But the options for potential ladies for Ramona to chain her island to are very limited. I beseech you to watch as she desperately tries to find the next potential leader of America, and finds that instead she's in "some deep s--t". If nothing else, we learn a lot of great interview tips from the exercise. I know I'll be working on my whole package for my next interview, particularly stocking up on Tru Renewal and thick black or nude tights per her suggestions. Also, I'll be exercising my weakest skill muscle in preparation (it's my arms).

The Cross Examination Bronx Expressway Award

OK, maybe I'm stretching a bit, but the Cross Bronx Expressway is a thing. Has Jill driven on it? Unsure, but she's most definitely cross examined her fair share of people -- in this episode it was new Housewife Cindy(who's downtown vibe seems like a nice addition to the mix). Jill wants to know where those babies came from! Was it a Completely Bare Stork? A rhinestone-bedecked basket left on Ms. Barshop's doorstep? A downtown doc? Kelly goes so far as to refer to Jill's interrogation skills as private investigator quality, which just sends me into delightful visions. If only there was a procedural crime-fighting drama with Jill Zarin tracking down perps. Law and Order: Jill Zarin Unit. Zarin Minds. Jill Zarin Investigators. Her office could be in Zarin's Fabrics and she could meet with those in need of her keen senses amongst the bolts of fabrics. With Ginger as her sidekick (and Bobby occassionally coming in for an assist) no one would suspect a thing. . .

The Queens Countess Etiquette Recommendation

Weddings are rife with etiquette foibles. Which side should I sit on? Do I have to buy something from the registry? Should I object if I once French kissed the groom? But Ramona and Alex's fashion choices proved to be the hot button issue of this nuptials (oh and the fact that Ramona was gossiping right outside of the church, which gold, really) Is it kosher for non-brides to wear white or cream? Jill is decidedly in the no column, but it was the end of summer and outdoors, aren't all bets off at that juncture? Plus, as Ramona so keenly noted in the WWHL after show, it was the second wedding! However, Ramona giving the cake a quick swipe surely raised some red flags in the etiquette book. What would LuAnn say? Money can't buy you patience Ramona, but it can buy you cake. Perhaps next time just purchase a piece of your own.

Manhattan Major Moment

The most blissful moment for me came in the opening credits. A refresh of the ladies taglines served us, dear viewers, with a new smattering of words to live by -- delightful, inspiring phrases that will lift us to a new season of heights. And which words sent us to the most aloft place possible?

I'm living the American dream, one mistake at a time. -- Kelly Killoren Bensimon

In these uncertain times America, aren't we all? Aren't we all?

Until next week, when the 'Wives (other than Alex) travel to Brooklyn for equality (and from the looks of the preview for catfighting).

Carole on Elitists and Bitches

Carole says what she really thinks of Aviva and all of her talk about her book and things being "ghetto."

Dear Fans,

Let me start with something I stole it from Twitter this week. "The most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth."

I'll say it again. The blonde at the end of the right couch, the one who's prone to lobbing limbs and insults, is an Insulting. Bitch. Some of you didn't believe me. Maybe some of you still don't. But after watching the reunion shows I imagine it's harder and harder to cheer for the anti-hero. Just when you think she can't get any faker she does.

The story according to Aviva makes me laugh: We were arguing, she insulted me, I called her a psychopath and that prompted her to affectionately compliment me on my age. Sure. Her disdain for the intelligence of the audience is palpable. It was too stupid for me to even reply. But as I was watching the reunion, and particularly Aviva and the way she treats people, I was reminded of something my Grandma Millie used to say. (I love everything Grandma Millie used to say.) "At 25, you have the face you're born with. At 45 you have the face you deserve."

I'd rather be 50 and me than be 45 and Aviva, any day of the week. She aged worse this season than a president in his first term. Holy short dress, I don't mind at all how I look. Overbite and all. I'll take it.

When I first met Aviva she was lovely. Really lovely. I meant what I said on the couch, I wish we had seen more of that. Her easy laugh and funny neurotic ways. Instead all we saw was a mean and angry woman. All because I asked her if she hired a writer -- a writer she did hire. It makes no sense. Three years ago she told me she'd read my memoir, What Remains. This was a book published in 2006 about my childhood, my family, my career and marriage, and then the death of my husband, Anthony Radziwill. A man I loved more than anyone I had loved before or have loved since. She gushed over my book. She quoted from it. We hugged. She seemed so sincere. Flash forward and she now believes it was written by a ghostwriter. She even knew his name, and it wasn't Truman Capote. It was Bill Whitworth, she told me. She repeated this over and over to anyone who would listen. And it doesn't matter how many times she repeats it -- it will never make it true.

When they stopped listening she started saying in the press and on social media that not only was my book written by someone else but that it was not my place to have written a book about my life, and my marriage. And, as if I didn't remember, she reminded me that I'd written about people who had died. Um, yeah. I know. It was my husband and my family and my closest friend who died. Just. . .wow. But I wasn't important enough to tell my story because my husband's family was famous, or historic or whatever she said. Because they had money and privilege and yachts. Really. Who do I think I am?

I’ll tell you. I’m a girl from upstate New York who grew up in a loving, if sometimes kooky, Italian working class family. I worked for everything I earned, just like my parents did and their parents before them. I have a proud family history of hard work and small but precious rewards that followed. My family won't be in any history books. I didn't grow up privileged. We didn't spend summers in Europe or Christmas in Palm Beach. A day spent at the town pool or playing in the woods behind our house was great. Much like Heather, I was taught strong values and decent manners. I learned to live with integrity and honesty. I'm proud of my upbringing and the woman I became, as was my husband. As is his family to this very day. I've known people who lived in what Aviva would consider the "ghetto" who have more class and decency than she shows.

All this talk about class and ghetto -- you'd think we were living in communist Russia. Here is the thing. This is America. In our country it doesn't matter a lick where you are from, it only matters where you're going. So don’t let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough because you didn’t grow up on Park Avenue or in a family that had some history, or because you enjoy saying mother-f---er now and then. I’ve met people from all walks of life. I spent time in refugee camps in Southeast Asia, and in the projects of Chicago. I've been to State dinners with Presidents. I met the Queen of England on a beach in Anguilla. No one is any more valuable or important than you are. No one is more important than your family and your friends.

Let the elitists go slow into the night.

In spite of the BookGate dust up I had a great time this season. I made wonderful new friends in LuAnn and Kristen and my friendship with Heather is more special and important to me than I could have ever imagined just three years ago. Friends have each other's backs. I love her, madly. And while we didn't always act appropriately, we had a lot of laughs. I hope you did too.

Thank you all for your supportive and funny and brilliant tweets. And while we didn't all agree on everything all of the time I enjoyed your participation in the show. Even the mean tweets about my skinny neck and my overbite were amusing. Like I said, I've stolen some tweets already. You may see others as dialogue in my next book, and yes, you can all say you were my ghostwriters.

As always,

With love, Writer Girl xoxo

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