Borough Beat

Our Associate Editor discusses romance, constrictive undergarments, and debt consolidation.

Jun 16, 2011

Oh my little New Yorkers, it's been so long. It seems like eons ago when we where here on the island, having our ladies gallivant about in their natural habitat. It feels good to be back where we belong. Let's dive right in shall we? I have to get to my trampoline class.

Brooklyn is for Lovers

The ladies have left the home fires burning for far too long, so it's time for them to spend a little bit of time with their respective loves.

Ramona sprinkles a hotel room with rose petals (Which are they sold by the basket? or was that a Ramona Singer added feature?) and waits (and waits) for sweet Mario to arrive.

Meanwhile in Brooklyn, Alex and Simon are having a romantic tete-a-tete of their own, complete with requite conversation of who owns Alex's behind (Simon), the worthy cause oysters must die for (sex with Alex), and copious wardrobe changes.

Let's discuss the underwear fashion show for un momento (which you can see Simon shop for in his webisode this week). I personally feel Alex should wear the Elton John robe everywhere. That's an everyday piece in my opinion. And kudos to Simon for putting a d--k in a basket joke out there (topical, as Justin Timberlake is everywhere at the moment). Her next ensemble was a 9.6 according to Simon (I'd give it a 9.3, but only because I didn't love the dismount). Finally she gets to the pièce de résistance –- a pair of panties bedazzled with the words "I LOVE US" -- romantic and all-inclusive, well played Mr. Van Kempen.

Jill and Bobby go suit shopping, and Jill being the expert in all fields that she is has a lot of opinions. Coming from a menswear background, Jill does have some major assertions about the kind of stripes he needs -- and about the insignia Bobby should be sporting. She's going to monogram his jacket with her initials. Why? So if some girl hits on Bobby she sees the Jill Zarin bat signal -- and "that'll be the end of her."