Brooklyn: A Smoker's Paradise
Back in Brooklyn Simon is trying to quit smoking (there's a joke there smoking after last week's lingerie tryst, but I'll let you make that for yourself, leave them in the comments).
Jacob the hypnotist is there to show off his flashy paisley puffy vest and utilize his talents to help Simon stop his bad habit. Simon admits that he's quit cold turkey twice before, but just wants to have one more cig before this whole things starts. Can he just, step out, for just like a second. . . real fast. . last one.
After the final cig, Jacob begins to tell him -- YOU ARE A NON-SMOKER. YOU ARE A NON-SMOKER, with some infliction that really was quite impressive. Simon snaps out of it and immediately wants to brush his teeth. Which either means that it worked or that he has impeccable hygiene. Either way, progress, right? Then Jacob takes his puffy, paisley vest away and we're left to see if this Aussie can keep it up.
No, Mario, Those Are Not Queens Beds
After seeing Avery out and about with her gals and Cindy wearing an apparently smelly, yet rather awesome jacket to the gym, it's finally party time.
Avery gives the initial A plus to the party. Mario on the other hand gives an F minus to the beds that company brought in -- for the future boyfriend of Avery is not allowed to close the curtains around the beds. They're seats Mario, it's just a big seat that happens to look like a sleeping place. Relax!
Find out what happened to the wine!
In contrast to the winter wonderland at Avery's shindig, Victoria's festivus was darkness and fire-eaters. According to Kelly's predictions Victoria is going to be "a Marc Jacobs muse or working for French Vogue in five years," so I might have chosen to attend that fete just for the job opportunities it presented. "Hello yes, I am a friend of Victoria's. I also look great in over-large flannel shirts and successfully completed three years of high school Francais."
In the end most people managed to go to both, except for Sonja who opted for the adult party with adult foods.
After Kelly has drawn the battle lines between the adults and Avery and LuAnn has left Victoria to have her fun, Bobby decides to really get the party vibe going by confronting Simon about a Jill Zarin hate website. Simon swears non-involvement and declines Mario's offer to take it to the patio and the men shake on it. They're on the same page. . . the same webpage (NERD JOKE).
Though, I'm not so sure that's the case, as next week once again the ladies (this time Jill and Simon) are embroilled in an argument that gets to "It's weird levels." Stay tuned!