Cindy Barshop

Cindy explains she's not a trouble-maker and discusses her and Sonja's tiff.

on Jun 3, 20110

I never start up trouble -- I think that people should stand up for themselves when they are being spoken down to. I'm very strong and independent therefore I speak up for myself and others if need be. I don't have fights, per se, but rather situations where I can reach conclusions and truces while shedding light on circumstances and learning from them.

I took in the "pecking order" and other obscure comments that Sonja projected at me during our tea to dissolve and really try to rationalize why she was saying this. If I had been just as aggressive towards her we would have been arguing for hours, in circles, a constant battle (I definitely didn't have time for this).

I get it! I was the new gal in the group and sometimes personalities and emotions clash, but to get anything resolved you have to look at the entire picture and be somewhat understanding of who you are dealing with. I really wanted to take care of our situation at another time and not react to every single jab she threw at me, but unfortunately I had E-N-O-U-G-H, as anyone would have too!

Thankfully, at the end of the day we were able to resolve all of our problems, by having an adult conversation and being, what seems to be "genuine" about our apologies to one another. Now if only Ramona everyone took the same advice and let each other speak about their differences and emotions and come to the light at the end of the tunnel we might all be friends or at least respectful of one another.

Always take a closer look at the situation, from your side and your "opponent's," you might not only keep a friend but you might actually learn something about yourself! People's feelings are their feelings; you have to understand them because they come from deeper places. Accept it or move on that you both have differences. There are far too many important things in the world to deal with other than harping on situations that are not too serious in the scheme of things.

Xo

Cindy

96 comments
Count Alec
Count Alec

Cindy, I like your Style..no matter what everyone else says about anything..don't even acknowledge their chatter..it's nonsense..it's typical brainless..you have class and certain people just don't messure up if you know what I mean..Let those girls fight their own battles. Just do your own thing and tell them where the moon shines..lol..and keep going..they only drag you down to their level if you let them..Good Luck to you!

MariaIC
MariaIC

Hi Cindy! You remind me of Chrissy Hind, my all time favorite bitch. Keep rocking your individuality, and please have a drink or two with Ramona. She isn't that bad. Peace, sister. --Maria IC

B REAL
B REAL

Cindy I like your style because "YOU REFUSE TO SETTLE"...........

Viewer3941
Viewer3941

Cindy,I'm not a fan. I am team "blonde". That said, give credit where credit is due...you earned my respect when you stood up for Sonja and the way she was feeling about security in the tent. It was nice to hear you say you understood her even with your differences you got it and it was nice. Also I have to say that you said what I was thinking no one respects anyone, everyone is me,me,me and it gets old...it was nice to see a genuine reaction from you...hoping to become a fan.

Courtneyxo
Courtneyxo

I think you get a little defensive around these women, especially Sonja. You have to learn to pick your battles, and those arguments you were having with her are not worth having. Brush things off. Let things go, you should know at your age that life's too short.

Shalom
Shalom

Cindy, I've watched this show since it's inception and must say that you are now my fave. Keep smiling, girl! Good luck hanging out with the 'Hens'. Pecking order... my ass...

BetsyO
BetsyO

You should hang out more with Alex, she has young children, not babies, but is more recently in your shoes with working and raising children in the city. Plus she and her husband are more liberal and brainy than the others. She is also more polite and less pushy than the others. They will eat you alive if you don't find a friend. The countess, Jill, Kelly and Ramona will always find ways to tell you that they are richer and more connected than you are. Just like Bethany found out, they will stomp on you if you let them.

A Viewer from the OC
A Viewer from the OC

Cindy, you have two gorgeous babies and have worked hard to build a hugely successful business. Wow, you have so much to be thankful for and to keep you busy, but you definitely sweat the small stuff and it's not fun to watch. To see you get so worked up over so many different things, including such petty matters as hangers and where to sit in a van, makes no sense and to the viewer and it comes off as bizarre.

I doubt you're as neurotic as you appear on the show, but even if you are, please stop overreacting. Seeing you behave this way is not entertaining.

Ms K
Ms K

Cindy you are a great and very successful woman with the cutest twins ever! Please don't let Sonja and her stupid remarks about "pecking order" get to you anymore! For some reason Sonja has decided to be Ramona's personal cheerleader and its not necessary. Please from now on ignore them both they have issues and honestly I think Sonja is a bit jealous of you because you are fabulous! I hope to see you back next season you are awesome!

Katie01
Katie01

I can see where Sonja talked down to you at the tea and I have enjoyed your personality on this show! I definitely think you blew the whole saving seats thing out of proportion, but I understand you were sensitive at the time to Sonja and her orders. But, I mean, she just let you know Luann was planning to sit in that seat. Glad you ladies worked it out!

Allie56
Allie56

Cindy You are a refreshing change to the show, I have enjoyed watching you from the very beginning, however please do not take everything ramona and sonja say to you seriously, or you will drive yourself crazy, trust me ramona and especially sonja have worked my nerve this season, but even as a viewer i have to look past some of their ridiculous behavior sometimes, other than that your amazing

AFanfromMN
AFanfromMN

Cindy, you are the BEST! I think Sonja has been so condescending to you and I'm glad you finally said something! The pecking order comment was just so ridiculous. You are fabulous, I love that you seem genuine. Disregard the other comments about needing to get thicker skin. You are just in-tune to the vibe Sonja was giving you and you called her out on it.

I'm glad you've joined the show!

Kathryn from Midwest
Kathryn from Midwest

Cindy, I hate to say it but I think you have some insecurities about your own life that you take out on other people! I hope you use the show as a mirror to better yourself and let that go in the future. Someone saving a seat for a friend is no big deal, and you saying "there is no pecking order" at the Souk reminded me of a child wounded emotionally lashing out as they headed inside for recess-out of place and uncalled for! You seem like a nice lady, may be you need to let your guard down, have a cocktail, kick back and enjoy the moment. Ramona might seem batty, but she knows how to have a great time, despite all odds!

Heidi Di Cesare
Heidi Di Cesare

You are the only "real" housewife in the bunch. Good for you; don't take any crap from anyone else.

Cristyjean23
Cristyjean23

Cindy- you are a little too sensitive to these girls. Remember...the only thing you can control is your own behavior. Be careful not to align yourself too much with any one person...you seem to be too agreeable with bad behavior just for some acceptance...but want to point out miniature flaws in Sonja only. Just think about it.

Patty1965
Patty1965

Smile. Please, smile.

You're a successful business woman and a wonderful mom. Smile and people will smile back at you.

Mario H.
Mario H.

You're wound up a little tight. Relax! Stop taking everything these raucous women do as personal affronts. You're going to burn out before the season is over! Take a cue from Kelly. She knows how to navigate [through] these obstreperous, saucy women. If that doesn't work for you, then learn the duck technique so you can let it slid off your back...like water off a duck! LOL! Hang in there love, you're doing great and you're fabulous.

LICity
LICity

Cindy - I think you are too sensative for this group on woman.

Elle in Oregon
Elle in Oregon

Did you come from a quiet family? The women at the table in the tent in the middle of the desert seemed comfortable with the pattern of conversation...talk over each other. I like small groups where everyone's opinion is heard. This is not that kind of group. I hope you let go of the idea that you'll learn something from these women. You've walked into a hornet's nest that has been buzzing about since the show started, and the goal has switched to being right. That's all the women seem to want to do. They want to spend their time together proving to one and another that their opinion is right.

Robyn :)
Robyn :)

After watching the episode do you understand now that Sonja was saving the seat for LuAnn because she asked her to, not trying to be catty and not let you sit next to her? I hope so.

and if you are trying not to start trouble, it may be helpful not to make catty little remarks like you just did about Ramona. That was really not classy.

ilovehousewives
ilovehousewives

Cindy, You are my favorite housewife. I admire your ability to stand up for yourself. It takes real courage to go up against these bullies, especially being the new kid on the block. You have obviously built a great life for yourself, and unlike these other women, did not need a man to do so. Honestly, I think they are intimidated by your independent success and down to earth attitude.

bnewton31
bnewton31

I wish Bethenney were there. I really miss her. She wasn't so up tight as you seem to be.

PLHogan
PLHogan

Cindy,

Be careful. So far you are above the pack. Look closely at your alliances because they are with the problem people of this series. Ramona can see the vipers closing around you and you are going for it. That is why she is pulling back from you. But when you come to your senses, Ramona will be there for you.

I think you seem to be smart. I hope you can see how truly silly and dumb Luann and Kelly are; and Jill? OMG, she is just a high school mean girl who has aged.

Floridian
Floridian

I think Alex hit the nail on the head with her reasoning as to why you act the way you do. You appear to be paranoid all the time.

siv
siv

You are way too sensitive to be running with this group of women. Sonja maybe should have chosen her words more wisely when speaking to you about "pecking orders" but I get was she was trying to say to you. You should have shown Ramona a little more respect from the beginning. You knew Ramona before the show and she was the one who brought you into this group of ladies and it seems to me that the moment filming started you began to bash her in every way. I know Ramona can be a little hard to take but it seems a little sneaky on your part to befriend someone off camera only to bring them down once the cameras start rolling. And flipping out on her over saving a seat was a little ridiculous on your part. Stop trying to cause drama in order to make yourself relevant on a TV show. I'm sure you can be quite entertaining and pleasant without that

Tomary
Tomary

You obviously entered into the World of the Mad when you took on this show. However, had you never watched it before? I don't get the surprise and indignation.

KateEllen
KateEllen

Cindy, I love how wonderfully NORMAL you are! I just hope that you stay that way in the upcoming seasons! I can see how you would get riled up by Sonja and some of the other women (who wouldn't?!?) but to survive this show, I think you're going to have to let some of the other housewives' behaviors kind of slip over your shoulder. Pick and choose what to really go after, otherwise things will get so unpleasant for you; look at Ramona and Jill!

Stay classy!

FLASuzy
FLASuzy

What was the big deal about the seat? Since you obviously don't like Sonja, why would you even want to sit next to her? I loved how they showed Ramona plop in the seat only to be told it was saved for LouAnn, and she just popped right out of it and sat in another seat. To me, that would be the normal way to react. Why did that offend you so much?

Same with the hangers. The other women said they didn't take them, didn't even know where the other rooms were. Why wouldn't you believe that. It didn't even occur to you that maybe the staff went in and took some of yours for the new guests. To me, that would have been what I thought.

Lighten up, honey. Did you join this show without ever watching it? These women all talk behind each others backs and think they are superior to the others. Seriously, the "Countess" is someone you consider real and a friend? She's never had a good thing to say about anyone. Her title is a joke--her ex was not born a Count. At my previous job, I socialized with a Baroness Rothschild, and she made jokes about her title. No one was expected to call her Baroness.

Also, Sonja wasn't talking about a social "pecking order." she was referring to the status of those on the show. And, yes, you should be a little kinder to your friend Ramona who got you on the show. Seems to me like you you want to put her down simply because she helped you. I know a lot of people like that that build resentment against those that help them.

Again, lighten up, Cindy. Enjoy the ride. Spend a little more time with your babies. I cracked up when you were complaining how you couldn't sleep because you heard the nannies up with your crying children all night! Sweetie, I was told I couldn't get pregnant when I was 27. Surprisingly, I found myself with child at 43. I wouldn't even let my baby's father get up with him at night. I was just so thrilled to have my son, I wanted to be with him every breathing second I could. He's 7 now, and I still feel that way.

Quit being so quick to take offense when none is intended. And try smiling every once in a while!

karentc
karentc

So Cindy, are we having fun yet?

Cristina Marinakis
Cristina Marinakis

Hi Cindy! I definitely see where you are coming from. Keep being you and you will be just fine! I actually wanted to ask you, I LOVED the dress you wore on both Moroccan episodes. One was when you went to the birthday party. It was multi colored with a black band. The other was blue and black striped. So cute! Where did you get those? I am going on a vacation soon and want some maxi dresses and I just thought they looked so beautiful. Thanks Cindy! Good luck to you!

Gd
Gd

Cindy,

You are perfect the way you are. Don't change for any one. Sonja has been very unkind and rude. You face and your hair looked beautiful when you were at the spa. (Combed back).

We want to see you in the next season.

lovethehousewives62
lovethehousewives62

I have to agree with most of the comments...you seem to take things the wrong way. Lighten up and dont take things so personally. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Brake Through, Thug in Coctail Dress, Miss Sensiti
Brake Through, Thug in Coctail Dress, Miss Sensiti

The same way Bethenny got redl close to Jill for a couple of years...the same way she will send you crashing down like she did Bethenny, you watch. Also, LuAnn, is a manipulator and very good at it, would not trust her at all she is all about het. Kelly, on the other hand, is in her own world, she is harmless of course until, the stress gets to her and she starts hallucinating and making no sense, hopefully that won't happen when you ate around. That is why is best to hang around people that are blunt at least you know what to expect.

gann
gann

You really need a thick skin to run with this group!!!! I think you are a kind,and sensitive soul,and just need to let some things go, and pick your battles.Your girls are precious,and I'm sure it was hard to leave them. Hang in there.

jillejo
jillejo

Cindy, you are the best!

Birdsong
Birdsong

Cindy, I really felt for you when you couldn't get a word in edgewise at dinner after the camel ride. I can't stand people talking over each other, either. You can't make sense of what anyone is saying! When you started to say something and then stopped because every single person at that table was talking and trying to "one-up" each other, I thought "Yep, I understand, Cindy. Nobody's listening anyway!" I did think it was nice, though, when Ramona and Alex came out to talk to you - at least Ramona admitted they're a difficult group!

Personally, I think that was part of the problems Kelly had last year on that island vacation. She called it "white noise", and that's exactly what it is!

I hope you hang in there. I think you're really nice!

JanetMarie
JanetMarie

It does seem as if Sonja has been speaking down to you. It was very nice to finally see the two of you talking to each other instead of Sonja talking at you. Someone else's post suggested you try not to take things too seriously & I agree. I can't imagine being with all those women at once!

GingerC
GingerC

You are so drama! I especially loved watching the HANGER scene. Keep entertaining me! :) You women are so funny. :-|

ViewerCarrie
ViewerCarrie

Really Cindy you shouldn't have put your teeth on the show...that was weird. Have a little fun on the show and quit hanging with the Debbie Downer mean brunettes.

Goldikova
Goldikova

I am an older mom, my daughter was born when I was 41. Well, she just graduated from pre-school last night......where did the time go? Enjoy every minute you have with your babies, they are adorable. Before you know it they will be starting school and you will be asking yourself where the time went.

viewer1960
viewer1960

You need to take it down a notch. Not everything that is said to you is negative or disrespectful. It almost seems like you are looking for trouble or just something to start an arguement. Agree that some of these women are way out there but just try to let it go or you will drive yourself crazy and us with it.

SF Viewer
SF Viewer

Cindy, I have to tell you that in the scene where you are at the Turkish spa and you and Sonja make up I think your hair looks great. When you have it brushed back away from your face. Just my unsolicited opinion!

PECKEDON
PECKEDON

Cindy,

You need to lighten up a little. I mean who gives a s*** about where you sit. I thought the souk experience got really tense when it should have been fun and for no reason. Don't be so sensitive. My thought is that you were really upset with Sonja's condescending speech to you at her home - the pecking order thing. Way out of line statement, but her motive was well-intentioned and protective of her long-time friend Ramona. I agree with you though, I really get turned off by the prim and proper comments of the ladies. I mean nothing wrong with a little class and decorum but it appears that there is a real boujois thing going on --this is 2011 and the those of us over 35 think it's just BS. Real class is accepting people regardless of "station in life" and treating them with the proper respect -- judging one on the "content of one's character" rather than their checkbook, designer clothing/shoes/purses - material things.

mauimama22
mauimama22

I think you over reacted to the whole seat saving thing! You are the one that acted like a child. LuAnn got to the van before you. She chose a seat next to Sonja so they could talk. LuAnn realized she needed to use the restroom before leaving to the souk, so she puts her purse on her seat and asks Sonja to save it until she gets back. Nothing wrong with this. Then you arrive and make a huge deal about it. Grow up Cindy! Not everything is a battle. Go with the flow alittle! How hard would it have been to simply choose another seat? The blondes do not need to apologize to the brunettes for ANYTHING.

Lovesit
Lovesit

Cindy, you seem to be very easily riled up. I'm sure its not easy being the new kid on the block but you seem intent on taking offense at every opportunity. I agree with you about the disrespect but surely you had seen the show before you agreed to be in it? The women have always been like this.

MWM
MWM

Cindy...you are real!! Love you!!! I love how you don't take it from anyone. You are down to earth and a great addition to the show. All the best!

Constance-1
Constance-1

You need to loosen up a bit. You seem to be jockeying for a position of strength within the group except that you pick all the wrong times to assert yourself; it appears ridiculous and unfounded. Next time someone says something you don't like, you need to respond then and there, not 2 weeks later.

MarieB1014
MarieB1014

Cindy, You come off as a tad thin skinned. Drop the defensiveness and you just might have some fun with these bigger than life women!