Cast Blog: #RHONY

'Gilligan's' or Governors Island

Cindy discusses the Governors Island party and hair removal.

Gilligan’s Island aka Governors Island:

This is going to age me, but I think it puts everything in to perspective. Picture this:

Thurston Howell throws a birthday party for his beautiful wife Mrs. Lovey Howell, while stranded on an extremely cold and windy island with nothing other than picnic tables and champagne. Oh and then Mary Ann and Ginger stop by. . .

Yes! You guessed it! We are in the new spin-off of Gilligan’s Island. I’m Mary Ann and you can obviously guess the rest of the characters.

To clear everything up I think it was wonderful what Thurston, I mean Simon, did for Alex, but it's sometimes hard for me to get out my own house in Manhattan. And now I had to trek with the girls to an unstable weather island. It was freezing and super windy with no shelter, and champagne was toppling everywhere. I really don’t see why we all had to leave Manhattan when we all live there so . . .I escaped earlier than the rest.

Kelly Killoren Bensimon– Mom/Friend of The Year: Next, I don’t think everyone really understands how upset I was and how helpful and understanding Kelly has been (SHE IS THE BEST MOM EVER!) I had a little meltdown at dinner over my nanny taking advantage of me. I know, I know -- I come off like a confident woman, but outside of the office and in my personal life I’ll admit it. . .I am a push. . .push. . .PUSHOVER! Yes I said it! Kelly was able to console me and give me advice when my then-nanny essentially made her own hours and came and went as she pleased.

If you are mom, you’ll totally understand. . .you want nothing other than to make your children as happy as possible, and sometimes all the time you put yourself on the back burner and jeopardize your own happiness. Having my girls love who they are with puts a huge smile of my face and after all, these women are my family. They help me take care of the two most important things in my life, Jesse and Zoe. You have to make sure that everyone in the situation is happy, including YOURSELF!

Back to Business: I had LuAnn, Sonja, and Kelly come to a girl’s private spa day at one of my completely bare locations where they were able to remove some unwanted hair. It was actually quite comical to see LuAnn get all proper on us speaking about hair removal! I created completely bare so that women and men have a place to feel comfortable speaking about hair removal. Now I have my website to act as a public forum. . .so ask away! Ask any personal questions that you may have about hair growing in weird places – it’s NATURAL!

Sooo. . . for the next Andy Cohen poll. . .Who wants to see LuAnn get VAJEWELED?!

Carole on Elitists and Bitches

Carole says what she really thinks of Aviva and all of her talk about her book and things being "ghetto."

Dear Fans,

Let me start with something I stole it from Twitter this week. "The most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth."

I'll say it again. The blonde at the end of the right couch, the one who's prone to lobbing limbs and insults, is an Insulting. Bitch. Some of you didn't believe me. Maybe some of you still don't. But after watching the reunion shows I imagine it's harder and harder to cheer for the anti-hero. Just when you think she can't get any faker she does.

The story according to Aviva makes me laugh: We were arguing, she insulted me, I called her a psychopath and that prompted her to affectionately compliment me on my age. Sure. Her disdain for the intelligence of the audience is palpable. It was too stupid for me to even reply. But as I was watching the reunion, and particularly Aviva and the way she treats people, I was reminded of something my Grandma Millie used to say. (I love everything Grandma Millie used to say.) "At 25, you have the face you're born with. At 45 you have the face you deserve."

I'd rather be 50 and me than be 45 and Aviva, any day of the week. She aged worse this season than a president in his first term. Holy short dress, I don't mind at all how I look. Overbite and all. I'll take it.

When I first met Aviva she was lovely. Really lovely. I meant what I said on the couch, I wish we had seen more of that. Her easy laugh and funny neurotic ways. Instead all we saw was a mean and angry woman. All because I asked her if she hired a writer -- a writer she did hire. It makes no sense. Three years ago she told me she'd read my memoir, What Remains. This was a book published in 2006 about my childhood, my family, my career and marriage, and then the death of my husband, Anthony Radziwill. A man I loved more than anyone I had loved before or have loved since. She gushed over my book. She quoted from it. We hugged. She seemed so sincere. Flash forward and she now believes it was written by a ghostwriter. She even knew his name, and it wasn't Truman Capote. It was Bill Whitworth, she told me. She repeated this over and over to anyone who would listen. And it doesn't matter how many times she repeats it -- it will never make it true.

When they stopped listening she started saying in the press and on social media that not only was my book written by someone else but that it was not my place to have written a book about my life, and my marriage. And, as if I didn't remember, she reminded me that I'd written about people who had died. Um, yeah. I know. It was my husband and my family and my closest friend who died. Just. . .wow. But I wasn't important enough to tell my story because my husband's family was famous, or historic or whatever she said. Because they had money and privilege and yachts. Really. Who do I think I am?

I’ll tell you. I’m a girl from upstate New York who grew up in a loving, if sometimes kooky, Italian working class family. I worked for everything I earned, just like my parents did and their parents before them. I have a proud family history of hard work and small but precious rewards that followed. My family won't be in any history books. I didn't grow up privileged. We didn't spend summers in Europe or Christmas in Palm Beach. A day spent at the town pool or playing in the woods behind our house was great. Much like Heather, I was taught strong values and decent manners. I learned to live with integrity and honesty. I'm proud of my upbringing and the woman I became, as was my husband. As is his family to this very day. I've known people who lived in what Aviva would consider the "ghetto" who have more class and decency than she shows.

All this talk about class and ghetto -- you'd think we were living in communist Russia. Here is the thing. This is America. In our country it doesn't matter a lick where you are from, it only matters where you're going. So don’t let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough because you didn’t grow up on Park Avenue or in a family that had some history, or because you enjoy saying mother-f---er now and then. I’ve met people from all walks of life. I spent time in refugee camps in Southeast Asia, and in the projects of Chicago. I've been to State dinners with Presidents. I met the Queen of England on a beach in Anguilla. No one is any more valuable or important than you are. No one is more important than your family and your friends.

Let the elitists go slow into the night.

In spite of the BookGate dust up I had a great time this season. I made wonderful new friends in LuAnn and Kristen and my friendship with Heather is more special and important to me than I could have ever imagined just three years ago. Friends have each other's backs. I love her, madly. And while we didn't always act appropriately, we had a lot of laughs. I hope you did too.

Thank you all for your supportive and funny and brilliant tweets. And while we didn't all agree on everything all of the time I enjoyed your participation in the show. Even the mean tweets about my skinny neck and my overbite were amusing. Like I said, I've stolen some tweets already. You may see others as dialogue in my next book, and yes, you can all say you were my ghostwriters.

As always,

With love, Writer Girl xoxo

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