Kids, Dogs, and Horses

Our Associate Editor covers the animal, vegetable, and Ramona in this week's episode.

In the words of The Sound of Music: Let's start at the very beginning, which is a very good place to start. The title of this episode is "Ramona'd." Let that permeate your brain. Have you ever been Ramona'd? Would you like to be? That's a resounding yes, on my end.

But besides Ramona there was another connecting thread of this episode. This episode was all about everyone's favorite animal, a Housewife's best friend, the dog, oh wait, and also horses. So I guess what Kelly said in reference to the Hamptons works for this episode as well, "It's everything that I love: kids, dogs, and horses."

I Have an Excellent Dentist in Brooklyn

Poor Cindy. A couple of martinis and a handful of pistachios and she's down for the count. Next time she should choose a drunk nosh that's a little less hazardous. Soft bread perhaps? But bigger question: Does she always keep her veneers in a Hermes box? I appreciate that Cindy holds treat her teeth with such high regard. If only that's what children put their teeth in for the Tooth Fairy, it would really be a more delightful process. Also, Sonja called Cindy's teeth "baby fake nails." Please note that.

Bonus Borough – Where is Quogue?

One of the major taking points at LuAnn's cocktail hour was the location and specifics of Cindy's horse farm birthday (kudos to Cindy to having the birthday party every young girl ever wanted). Apparently Quogue is in some sort of the Bermuda Triangle. It is both close to the Hamptons, but far away. Emails concerning it cannot be traced, that's why they were going to Sonja's spam filter -- not because Sonja marked her Completely Bare emails as spam. Then what about the party itself? Can they bring kids? Should they bring their own spurs for the horse-riding? Sonja and LuAnn had so many questions. I just wanted to pass the giant martini glass filled with shrimp around and tell everyone to calm down. Cindy had a good joke she wanted to use, and now we'll never hear it, because of Sonja's barrage of queries! But thankfully, after enough icy shrimp, all of their questions were answered and it seemed all but Sonja (who refuses to go there) would make it.

Manhattan Mother's Little Helper

Besides the Native American t-shirt from Kelly, LuAnn got another gift at her cocktail party -- a special grilling session from Ramona Singer. Ramona had some questions about The Countess and her kids' living arrangement. This is, of course, after Ramona arrived and immediately requested a pinot grigrio (a new habit of hers as she did it again at Cindy's b-day). Needless to say, LuAnn didn't take the questioning too well, and I highly recommend you ready LuAnn and Ramona's blogs because they both have amazing commentary on the situation. Luckily Ramona decided to bury the hatchet the next day, even if she didn't tell LuAnn she did.

The Bronx Petting Zoo

Sure there were horses (Great job shaking it off after your fall Sonja. You're one tough cookie), but this episode was all about the dogs. Jacques spent a moment in Buddhist reflection with his pooch, and shouldn't we all? Teach your dogs to be pacifists, readers. But the main canine component was the time the ladies spent with their furry friends at the AARF walk. Ramona knows as well as anyone that the old adage about dogs and their owners being similar is true. And did it prove to be so? Sonja's dog seems a bit ladylike (she prefers to be carried). Kelly's dog seems jovial (and perhaps a bit ADD). And Ramona's dog does exactly as she wants, whenever she wants. Ginger wasn't there, but I'm sure she and Jill would have been equally excited.

Head to Staten Island Beach to Make Your Own Sand Angel

When faced with a conversation you'd rather avoid, here's a great way to get out of it: make a sand angel. It worked for Kelly!

The Queen of Having Catchphrases About Her

There’s Ramotional, the Ramonacoaster, Renewed. . . No other NYC lady is such a rife source of vocabulary. So leave it Ramona to have another alias bestowed upon her before we can even wear out Ramona'd: pinot polar. According to The Countess (who has an especially rapturous way with words this season), pinot polar is "that rush, that changes Ramona from A to C." Well she was a full C at the horse farm. From her "Quick comment question, whatever" to Kelly to her her chat with Howie, the Ramonacoaster was running. And her retorts to other folks' qualms were on point -- she compared herself to Freddy Krueger and reminded us all that Kelly had once lost her mind. Ramona might be the Queen of Awesomeness as well. (Note: If you're confused about the vocab, check out our glossary, or if you're more assertive in your language skills Tweet about it here).

So that's this week's delight, what will next week hold? Did Ramona and Cindy really mend fences over a shared hatred of dip at parties? Or will their lunch next week be as tense as the preview makes it out to be? Oof! Also, Jill Zarin returns to us from Australia. Did the dingo eat her tension with Alex? Or has she stowed the vitriol away in her kangaroo pocket for later?

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