Aviva Drescher

Aviva explains her Secret Santa gift, what she looks for in a friend, and why the wine debacle needs to end.

on Aug 13, 2012

What Ramona doesn't seem to understand is that when I am relaxing with my friends or shoe shopping I really don't want my leg to be the focus at all. I want to live life like everyone else, without 80 million questions or a barrage of orders telling me when I can and cannot swim or for how long. While I am very open to questions about my prosthesis and accident, Ramona somehow thinks she has a say in how my prosthetic leg can and cannot affect me. Ramona has no problem using my leg as an excuse when she wants to leave a Miami swimming/yoga session so she can get to her next party to drink pinot ad nauseum. For whatever its worth I never "panicked" in Miami over my forgotten swimming leg. I adjusted to the situation and moved on. It was Ramona who used my little situation to get herself where she wanted to be -- which was out of the pool and into the car where Mario was waiting downstairs to take her partying.

Who is Ramona to tell me when my "disability" affects me or not? The fact is that when as a six-year-old my leg was churned in a piece of farm equipment and I thought I was going to die -- it has left some lasting psychological issues, which I wish were not there. You would think that anyone would understand that -- especially Ramona who was acting as if she was so concerned in Miami. She wasn't concerned, that was a charade to get me out of the pool because the yoga session wasn't all about her and she had a party to go to. It is interesting that Ramona has taken such an interest in my leg when I am going in a pool but she has such a hard time understanding that I have anxieties that trace back to an accident when I was six years old trapped in a machine which left me holding on to my life for two months?

This is the way it is. I have anxiety that interferes with traveling. Often I need to bring a relative or close friend to fly with me. I wish it were different and I am working on self-improvement. These are defining moments for real friendships. A friend has a problem. How will the others handle it? With compassion and understanding? Or self interest and mockery? A friend, in my opinion, is someone who is there for you during the ups and the downs. I appreciated LuAnn's suggestion to do the trip afraid and Carole who was very open minded to do whatever it would take to get me on the little plane. Heather was sitting next to me and told me that she felt the life being sucked out of me that day. It was not fun.

Wait a minute. Stop the press. Did Sonja Morgan just give me marital advice on how to keep my husband missing me? As the story goes, she lost her husband on her last girls' trip. Enough said.