Aviva Drescher

Aviva explains why she was so upset with Ramona and Sonja and apologizes for her "white trash" comment.

on Sep 3, 20120

OK, I lost my s--t on tonight's episode.

Inside I was wounded, hurt, angry, and vulnerable. I felt bad enough that Reid had to come at all and I was so embarrassed that my "friends" were hashing out a plan to kick him out of the house when he was just trying to do a nice thing and get me down there to be with them. I felt like I had to be protective of him when we were being mistreated and I went overboard. Anxiety is a weakness, which I am not proud of, and I am working on it. I am not totally there yet but all I can do is keep trying to improve.

Before I left NYC, I found out that a family member could watch our four children and Reid was able to get away for the weekend. So I called Ramona. Her giddy response was "Oh good, oh good! I will do something funny when you arrive! I will give Reid coupons to come to dinner a few times with the girls." Reid took the phone and told Ramona he didn't want the coupons because he wasn't there to be with the girls, he was just getting me to the island. So basically I called Ramona to see if Reid's presence in the house was OK with her and she gave me her unconditional blessing.

We thought about staying at a hotel but Carole, our hostess, insisted Reid stay with me in my room. Since I knew, and now Ramona knew, that Reid was going to be away from the house except for sleeping, it seemed like a practical solution. In retrospect had I known that Reid taking a bed, which had its own private entrance, would have caused so much drama he would have been happy to stay in a hotel. . .

727 comments
DangleParticiple
DangleParticiple

Aviva, if you feel the need to smirk and quote someone famous, may I suggest Oscar Wilde instead of the repugnant Rush Limbaugh? (I'm sure you knew exactly what you were doing, too.)

Jasmina_in_DC
Jasmina_in_DC

Aviva clearly has some issues and could use some "help."

closetfan
closetfan

Clearly LuAnn was anxious to switch the drama from her and Thomas to Aviva, Ramona and Sonja! She succeeded!! Does anyone else see that too??? 

mommytime
mommytime

I have never ever been a fan of Ramona, but I honestly felt sorry for her based on the way you treated her.  It was really gross that you just kept on and on and on at them with this holier-than-thou attitude. 

 

And to go after Sonja like that and compare her to Anna Nicole Smith?  Shame on you....That's just awful.  And....classless.  For someone who is so concerned about those around her having class, you certainly lack it in every way.  And then to bring up Sonja's daughter?  Really? Do you want someone to pity your kids because you're such a control freak?  Leave the kids out of it.

 

Nobody owed you a "warm welcome."  If you wanted something warm and fuzzy, go grab a blanket and stay home!  It's on tape that Sonja said thank you to your husband.  Geez.  Get a grip.  

 

And you quote Rush Limbaugh to apologize ("I apologize for the words I used")?  Really?  I think that says plenty about who you are.

 

I think Bravo misspelled your name....should be A-Diva.

KeepingItRealWithDion
KeepingItRealWithDion

Aviva:

 

I think that you have missed the point entirely.  When women plan a "girls" trip and someone decides to invite their man along, it does change the dynamics of the trip.  When my friends and I hang out there may be certain topics we want to talk about that we wouldn't want to do in front of members of the opposite sex.  It can also make people uncomfortable because they don't have their man with them.  No one wants to be a third wheel unless they had agreed to it beforehand.  

 

Since most of my girlfriends are married, when we hang out with husbands or boyfriends, I find that I dress different.  If it's just the girls I might where a lower cut or shorter skirt, but to show respect for them and their partners I will cover up an make sure that I am more presentable in front of them.

 

Why did you feel the girls needed to roll out the red carpet for Reid?  You state in a previous blog that Reid was not going to hang out with the girls and that you guys are were going to stay at a hotel, but then you get upset when you find out that the girls didn't want Reid to stay in the house.  He didn't want to be around them anyway so he should've stayed at a hotel.

 

If you go back and watch the episodes, Sonja was gracious and thanked Reid for getting you there safely, what else did you want from her?

 

No matter our age, girls just want to have fun.  When you are on vacation or hanging out for a night sometimes you have to let your hair down and forget about all of your cares that you have in the world.  Don't judge people for their behavior because you may not know what they are going through and why they may need to just let go.  If you do not like the behavior of any of the women, the next time they invite you out, you have the ability to say "no".  

 

 

cherwin
cherwin

And the beat goes on. Aviva can't stop the drama even after St. Barth's is over. It's getting hard to even watch and listen to her. Miss perfection who thinks anyone who does anything other than what she likes is weird or not nice. Having a drink, a soda, a cigarette, etc.etc, she belittles you. I wonder who died and made her the queen of all that is good and right? 

Kenzkay
Kenzkay

Even though the anxiety is "Aviva's issue" doesn't mean she shouldn't expect her friends to celebrate in her victory with her when she arrives at St. Barth's. Whether or not getting on that plane is one of the main deciding factors for a vacay with her girls, and the fact that she was willing to stand up and conquer that fear to be there takes courage, with or without Reid. Yes, the response to Ramona and Sonja was a little over dramatic, but I can relate to what you were trying to get across to those two. I would feel rejected and hurt too if I just had faced a HUGE fear to come there, even if it took my husband being there by my side, and my friends are focused on the fact that he had to come to enable me to. Not the fact that I made it! It shouldn't matter who I needed as my support system. Like, I'm so proud of myself for doing this and even though it's not a big issue for my friends to fly, they should still be able to share in my victory without focusing on my husband. It's not like you didn't tell all of them the second Carole invited everyone, about ur fear and that Reid is your support system. Plus, no one had an issue with Russell being there with Carole either, until r&s found out Reid was coming. Then it's a big deal. I do feel like Sonja finds it easier to just agree with the strongest personality in the room because she does play both sides. She is a people-pleaser and that is what they do. For her to get so "hurt and offended" because you called Her white trash is just her taking the blame off herself for her part in it and finding a way to victimize herself instead. And Ramona is a freaking BULLY. She just talks so fast and moves around the room all the time so you do have time to catch on or object to her. Ramona wants everyone to hear what she has to say, whether they want to or not, but Heaven forbid anyone say anything to her. She gets illogical and offended and cannot believe that someone would have the audacity to say those things. That's IF you can even get your words heards while she is literally yelling like a bullhorn over you. My 6 & 2 yr olds both have better manners than that. I feel ya, Aviva, and I say things in anger that I later realize I could have worded better. All part of being human... So is forgiveness, Sonja. Your apology to Sonja over dinner was very sincere and very well-worded, but she refuses to accept it and u honestly think it is out of fear of having to deal with the Wrath of Ramona if she was to find out that you and Sonja were back on good terms.

chefette8994
chefette8994

anxiety is not a weakness, its a disorder, an ailment.  You, were NOT mis treated.  You were just up too high on your high horse to notice or hear that people were welcoming you!  a "Welcome" from everyone was not enough for you.  you needed a red carpet and a party? are you serious? who the heck do you think you are? No one special, thats for sure.  No one else got a red carpet or even a party... so why do you think you should have one? I would like to hear How were you MIS treated?  i still dont see it.  You cannot see past yourself to see reality. you live in your own bubble of Aviva and make up your own reality.There is nothing wrong with phobias, whats wrong, is that you believe you are ber than everyone else. 

pam.simpson.7
pam.simpson.7

I have to agree with you on Ramona and Sonja.  They are two mean junior high school age girls who never grew up.  You did carry it on a bit---could have stopped talking about it after the initial outburst, but those two are simply classless.  That any of them were upset with a couple of the hubbies coming along---well, ladies, GROW UP.   Who, in their right minds, would want to spend time with 'ladies' (and I do use that term loosely) who are going to stab you in the back at every turn anyway?  Keep on telling them off, girl.

JoJett
JoJett

Oh, my heavens. Aviva, you really just don't get it. Please pay attention here, since the volumes of other responses to all of your posts about St. Barths clearly haven't gotten through to you.

 

1. You were NOT mistreated in St. Barths. YOU mistreated others.

 

2. If you felt an icy reception from Ramona and Sonja, that was your OWN insecurity. They gave you a lovely welcome and you just threw it back in their faces. You owe those two apologies on so many levels, but I doubt you will ever give it to them.

 

3. You were never "set up." No one was "plotting" to get Reid out of the house. They were simply having an honest discussion about how they felt about his arrival and discussed the pros and cons of whether it is right to ask someone to leave and if so, how it would be done.

 

4. Regardless of what Ramona said on the phone, you put her and the others in an impossible position, so what else could she do?

 

5. Who cares if Reid is the father of your children and blah blah blah? YOU do; as it should be. And, what right do you have expecting others to fall all over themselves because you made the same plane trip they did? Did you ever occur to you that perhaps they were scared, also? Others have the good sense to know that their own fears and phobias are just that: theirs, and that those fears should not be of any concern to anyone else.

 

6. If the trip was so "silly," then why did you show up in the first place? You only caused trouble from the minute you stepped onto the property. Everything had been lovely until you showed up.

 

7. Why did you think others should have appreciated "that (you) came down in spite of all (your) fears...and (your) husband was just going above and beyond?" What business is it of theirs? That is YOUR issue, Aviva, not theirs. They made the SAME plane trip you did. Why do you think your issues are or should be anyone else's concern, or that you should be given special treatment because of them? That is really self-absorbed.

 

Finally, you'd better be careful berating people based upon what LuAnn says. You call what she did "forthcoming"? Did it not seem odd to you that LuAnn made such an accusation right in the middle of an already heated argument? Now, think - who would want to throw gasoline on an already vicious fire, and why would they do that? And THAT is the type of person you trust to give you unbiased information?

 

Oh, and I was one of your fans prior to this and would never otherwise defend Ramona and Sonja, who are not my favorites.

 

 

 

porshiepoo
porshiepoo

So the carpet wasn't rolled out for your highnesses late appearance - get over it!  Sonja did actually give Reid the thanks that you claim was all you wanted to hear but you were so obsessed with 'me, me, me' that you chose to either overlook it or not hear it.  I understand you have a phobia - heck, a ton of people do. And I understand the courage that it took for you to get on that plane but if Carole can manage to do it without a fanfare at the end of it then surely you can too?? You feed your phobia constantly and I suspect that you now define yourself by those phobias.  YOU have to take control over your phobias and you have to stop relying on your husband to get you through - he's simply enabling those phobias.

Come on Aviva we have seen the strong lady beneath the exterior. You're a survivor! Stop the whingeing and moaning and show us some of the courage and fight that the 6 year old you had.

Tracefan
Tracefan

For someone who was 'born and raised in New York City'...thought you'd know better than to go on and on, and on and on...about your little fear of planes-after your friend and hostess had the sort of tragedy happen to her close relative and friends! Talking about it when you arrived, should have been the last time you mentioned it.

HotTam
HotTam

Aviva you made it all about you. We all saw a new, and perhaps the real Aviva on these episodes. We all have had alot to overcome in our lives.

Shanzee
Shanzee

You are a lot of work. Like a dog with a bone.

retromomma
retromomma

HI AVIVA! I just want to say when I saw you on your trip I felt so bad for you not because of what you think was being done to you but because you are going through what I use to go through years ago when my OCD was at it's worst. I want to tell you to please please get help for your anxieties and possible OCD....if you are already in therapy then I am not sure why your husband is still enabling you because when I was in therapy my therapist required my husband to meet with her as well so she could teach him how to be strong in saying NO to me. I use to call him from work to check the basement, I use to stay home 24/7...NOOO that is not a generality, I mean literally I was housebound until my husband came home from work. Yes mine was worst when thebabies were born. However I notice you expect everyone to applaud you for conquering your fears...sweetie you DID not conquer your fear...you had your crutch with you, your husband. You wanted the girls to PRAISE and adore your husband for bring you to them...why would they do that? that is irrational to expect anything more than a simple thank you. They had the right to be disappointed that it wasn't a girls weekend, but you were so appallled   that they weren't appareiating the heroics of your husband...but Aviva he's YOUR hero, not theirs...to YOU, he's the crutch you need to do what normal woman take for granted. you can't function without him so of course .you, like i use to do hold your husband up high...as if he's the giver of life. But honey he's a HUGE enabler, he's not helping you at all! he should've said NO I will not go on that trip with you and you can learn to experience how TRULY small your world is with your illness.but he keeps making it easier for you and your illness is now free to grow, your fear is a cancer and you have a life time supply of cure. NO your husband should NOT be applauded for ALWAYS helping you through your anxieties,he needs to get you professional help and he needs to let you get through these things on your own. One of my anxieties was someone coming into my home and killing me in the middle of the night, so I would ask my husband to go down stairs and lock the windows and doors. the problem with this was that I would make him do this 3x before we'd go to bed.....my therapist taught him how to say NO. not just saying No but she taught him that he was making it too easy for me to live in my fears. Your trigger was losing your leg as a child, my trigger was losing something else as a child.......trauma is trauma. sweetie please get help and if you have and it's not working, then FIRE your current therapist and get another.....good luck! hugss from texas!

Nat17
Nat17

Aviva, You are getting a taste of your own medicine. You never stood up for Heather when Ramona was rude to her, so I guess this is karma. You’re an opportunist.

sdunlap
sdunlap

Aviva, you give off very confusing messages to people.  You say you don't want to be called out for being different yet you wanted Ramona to post a banner for your arrival on this last trip.  You should lighten up a little bit....you might like it.

DewND
DewND

I am in my early 40's, am divorced and now with the love of my life of 10 years. Each year my girlfriends take a Vegas "girls Cougar" trip in which I am invited and my friends know I will be bringing my man. We stay and plan our trip as a "couple" which includes spending a couple of dinner and 1 dancing night with the group. I WANT to be with him and share the group dynamic with all. There is no question or hassle. If they want me,they will include him. Ladies, be honest, girls trips are what are done in your thirties, or if you are looking for men, including you married woman...lead us not into temptation ladies.....give Aviva a break. She is mad because you disrespected her union with her husband!  Aviva should have simply been firm and acknowledged the single "dynamic" and did what Carole did, "too bad, I am an adult and  I will respect my relationship and so will you!" That simple. Move on....  

k.johnson.144
k.johnson.144

Aviva:  you deserve credit for what you have overcome, but that does not justify your haughty and judgmental behaviour towards LuAnn, Ramona, and Sonya.  You insert yourself in situations that don't involve you and continue to comment and stir up trouble.  You come across as someone that thinks that they are  the spokesperson for all that have been wronged and yet for all your accomplishments, incredibly insecure.  For you own sanity and for everyone else's, let it go! 

btripsplus1
btripsplus1

Anyone with sense would have graciously declined the invitation.  It was a girls weekend, and unfortunately, for whatever reason, you couldn't attend alone.  All you say is thanks, but no thanks. You don't have to be a wealthy socialite from NYC to know the proper etiquette in this particular case.

ProudENFP
ProudENFP

Aviva, I know it is none of any of my or anyone else's business . . . BUT, I would love to know what type of therapy you have been doing for all these years to deal with the significant anxiety you have?  I hope it is not Psychoanalysis (for repression) because that DOESN'T work, and whatever you are doing is NOT working.  Surely with the means that you have, you have engaged a reputable and effective therapist.  And undoubtedly you have use Cognitive Behavior Therapy (changing your self-talk).  Have you ever tried EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitizing Reprocessing), a type of psychotherapy developed to help with traumatic disorders, such as PTSD, military combat, and of course, the horrific event you experienced as a child.

 

I humbly and respectfully suggest that you may look into this and any other treatment modalities other than the ones that you have been using, or perhaps use EMDR as an adjunct to therapy.  I wish you much happiness and health on your journey to cope with this very debilitating experience of anxiety.  It is also very brave for you to talk about it on the show, and I think that will help you as well.  Paula Deen talked about her anxiety/agoraphobia, and though I don't experience these problems, I felt compassion for her (and you), and also am inspired.

 

Keep going... and God Bless!

Barb_in_Indy
Barb_in_Indy

Aviva, I don't disagree with a word you said.  You really just have way too much class for this group.  It's refreshing to watch a normal human being interacting with the nuts.

Beandis
Beandis

Aviva, you were invited to a girls trip...I understand that you have special needs that required your husband to help "get you on the plane." what I do not understand is why you felt everyone should bow down to him and treat him like the exalted/anointed one? You were the one who needed him, you can idolize your husband all you want, but to expect the other girls to do it? Seriously girl. He did a job, you were not on the plane the entire trip so...let him do his stuff and you go to yours...your behavior was disgusting to the other women and no disrespect, but it is clear your anti anxiety treatment is not working.

DB626
DB626

Aviva showed up and was ready and willing to pick a fight!!! Why show up if your going to act like a nut!

DB626
DB626

This is the thing... Ramona and Sonja may have not been super sensative to Aviva but holy cow Aviva's reaction was so over the top and off her rocker that she made Ramona and Sonja sane!!!! I mean seriously it proved to me that it doesn't matter how educated someone is when they clearly has a phd in crazy! What was to point in holding onto it through dinner...fun, fun, fun.... Come on Aviva you spend too much time in your own crazy head. Show up late with husband in tow (and ps Reid has the patience of a saint) and then make demands, act the fool and want everyone to kiss Reids behind....I completely change my view of this lady. We saw some true colors and it isn't pretty.

TRachel
TRachel

Aviva, guess you got what you deserved, you came into the group siding with Ramona and Sonja, going against a few of the women behind their back, see when you don't know people you got a taste of your won medicine

makingflix
makingflix

 it is disappointing that your blog written many months after this trip still shows you as angry and righteous and does not demonstrate any growth or deeper understanding of what took place. Clearly, if you watched all these episodes, Luann was in the original conversation about asking Reid to leave and agreed with Sonja and Ramona. And then in typical Luann style, she stirred up the pot aimed firmly at Ramona and ran off in "innocence" claiming no responsibility. Luann has always, I mean always, from season to season been the stirrer and then through sheer cunning and slickness, avoids any splashing onto her. Anyway, I do wish you well with your issues, professional help would be a great starting point. After all, it's just a TV show for us, but your issues are there when all the cameras leave your house.

 

Blake1
Blake1

If that is how your friend handled her disability that was her choice. Unless you yourself has experienced a disability (and I hope you never do,) you should not judge. Aviva is very open about it and educates others which I think is great as she should not have to hide it. That would not send a positive message children or others about being different. Aviva is also honest about her fears and anxieties which I believe to be so real and human. I would want someone with me that would be there if I needed them.  If You had one leg really think about the types of fears you would have such as how would you defend yourself if you needed to by a mugger, or how would you get away from a fire quickly if you has to run, etc. I am sure these thoughts go through her head every so often as they are real. As a friend, I would want her to be completely comfortable .

@dancingintheRain
@dancingintheRain

I'll take my life of hard knocks degree over your Ivy League diploma any day of the week. A party & big red carpet entry for YOUR husband? He did YOU the favor, not the other women. 

yumyumgem
yumyumgem

I don't think it is appropriate for any of these women to call eachother names, especially White Trash.  and ahem...it was the "Countess" that did fuel the incident by getting Ramona and Sonja worked up before Aviva's arrival.  They're just too naiive to have fallen for the little ploy.

SUE4Q
SUE4Q

@JoJett amen sister . only difference is I do like Sonya and Ramona I think they're fun girls .and know how to have fun .ramona has had trips she know she does she deals with them

Goldenmom
Goldenmom

@JoJett AWESOME GIRLFRIEND!!!!

MzM
MzM

 @JoJett Nice RECAP!! WOOT! Ya know,  this IS the first time I have seen LuAnn  LOST and dethroned. She forgot her crown.. must be sitting on the bedpost ,,  She didn't know which side of the fence to sit on. Her and Ramona are making strides to become friends (well Ramona is doing all the work.. LuAnn looks put off most of the time).. 

ebbier
ebbier

 @JoJett

 Bravo....I could not have said it better!!! I totally agree with your comments:) 

jenbabydoll
jenbabydoll

 @Nat17

 Excellent point made by 'Nat17'!  When Ramona kept picking on HEATHER, you couldn't have cared less..... you even acted ANNOYED whenever Heather tried to talk to you about it.  But then when you felt Ramona wasn't 'welcoming' you enough, you went BALISTIC and just wouldn't shut up about it!  

triciafl
triciafl

 @DewND

 Totally wrong!! If you and your "love of your life" want a trip, do it alone!

Suz-Gus
Suz-Gus

@DewND Is 40 the new 85? I guess I didn't get the memo. If I want to go with a group of my friends on a girls trip at 40 something I will and there is nothing wrong with that. I agree that since you don't want to go without your man and your friends are okay with that then fine but in this case they all went on this trip thinking it was a girl trip and wanting it to be a girls trip so Aviva should have respected that and stayed home.

barryrice1@comcast.net
barryrice1@comcast.net

aviva, get over youself....just who do you think you are that everyone has to thank reid for bringing you or hang aa banner or throw a party....get real....you shouldn't have gone there at all if you had to bring your husband.  it was supposed to be the GIRLS...............

yumyumgem
yumyumgem

this does remind me of another season where Jill was invited, declined, and changed her mind at the last minute - only to be kicked out of Ramona's vacation spot.  Golden rule of thumb...trust your initial instinct and stick with it.  Aviva, it would've been a great favor to ALL if you had stayed home with your kids - especially if you were afraid of something bad happening on the way.  What if something did and you both perished...you'd have left your children without parents - worse....left to be raised by your lecherous father.  I think it'd have been more important to take the safer route and have stayed home and greeted your children when they returned home.

notahousewife67
notahousewife67

 @DB626 lol, I know. Suddenly, for one episode, Ramona looked like the sane one. Never thought that would happen.

closetfan
closetfan

 @makingflix It appears to me that LuAnn created the drama with Aviva, Sonja and Ramona to deflect all the conversation from her and Thomas. Whatever did or didn't happen made LuAnn very uncomfortable and opened up an evening of gossip and intrigue. It was a classic bate and switch! Cleverly done ~ it worked!! Anyone else see it that way too???