Borough Beat

Episode 6:'s Editor ponders the gourds and tubes the 'Wives resemble and the rest of their trip to London.

on Jul 9, 2012

The Bronx is Starving
As great as the ice breakers were, ice does not fill hungry bellies (even if it's broken). And the ladies were starving. I seriously thought Sonja was going to eat that rose while she waited for the eats. Also, who was that man that kept sniffing it so seductively? Was he trying to send her a message? It was all very 9 1/2 Weeks. As the food continued to not reveal itself, the ladies were forced to the loo, which is even more European than you can imagine.

Yes, apparently the Brits have now decided the ideal bathroom scenario is an "Orgasmatron." The toilet itself is just average, however, which Sonja so quickly remarked on. But the pod still provided Sonja and Carole with endless entertainment -– the music was playing, the pod was reminding them of ovaries, etc., hence LuAnn was left watching her salad wilt waiting for the other ladies. Poor hungry Countess! We've tested her commitment to class, and once again it stands like iron. The woman would rather starve to death than loose her scruples.

Brooklyn Learns Hard
After the ladies have eaten and drank (surely into the eve), it's up early for Heather and Carole. Heather is appearing on British television to promote the brand, while Carole is providing moral support. Carole's main task: ensuring that Heather only says Yummie Tummie once. There's no clear indicator if she's allowed to say yummie and tummie separately, nor am I sure exactly what would happen if she goes over her allotment. Will she be banned from the UK indefinitely? Forced to ride a double decker bus of shame in punishment? Made to pay an exorbitant fee in only crumpets? Thankfully we never have to learn, because she does fantastic.

Meanwhile, in another media savvy moment, Ramona is having her big speech at the Learning Annex. Sadly, she fears no one knows it because there are no photos (nor are their high enough tables). Ramona didn't get to wear she is today be letting an overly short table stand in her way. No m'am. She finds the appropriate-level surface and knocks her speech right out of the park (right after she finds the bathroom.