Cast Blog: #RHONY

Bye, George

Episode 17: Bravotv.com's Editor laments George's ejection from Ramona's party and Sonja's loss of her portrait.

Hello New York fans. We’re closing in our final moments in Manhattan this season. But of course before it’s over we’ll have a few more confrontations -- including one between Ramona and George. I didn’t see that coming. Who would have known that a lover like George could also be quite the fighter. Let’s recap.

The Queens of the Runway
We open with George and Aviva on the hunt for their homeopathic meds. George is trying to introduce Aviva to his latest conquest but thankfully his need for libido medications distracts him from describing too much in detail how this latest love looks like an African American Aviva.

However AAA (as I’ll now refer to her) is not the only one in his sites. He’s got plans to email Carole. And I don’t think he’s just going to send her that hilarious "Gangham" Style parody, well even if he does it will include overtures! Of a sexual nature!

But Aviva doesn’t have time to monitor George’s internet usage. She has to jet to help Heather with her charity fashion show. And by help, we mean walk in Heather’s runway show. Yup! Will she have the runway prowess of Ramona Singer? We’ll have to wait and see. . .

Personally, I'd like to see their beef settled with a Zoolander-style walk-off. But personally, that's how I like to see most beefs settled.

No Woman is a Staten Island
Next we see George’s former would-be flame Sonja returning home to sweet Millou and her legion of interns. Apparently the day with the ex did not go well. It went the opposite of well. Her ex didn’t even "debase himself" to sit in the same room with her. He’s not keeping the promises he made before she became a mother, and she’s in danger of losing her house. And that's when Sonja gets scroned woman angry. Reality has set in, and now it's all about the Benjamins. And if that means suing his ass so be it. He’s gotten Sonja angry, and as we saw in St. Barth’s -- you won’t like Sonja when she’s angry.

And so the next step of the breakup begins the way anyone else’s would, by removing the large-scale, Queen's official painter commissioned masterwork oil of Sonja’s ex from her dining room. And so she calls in the reinforcements: Lu. As a fellow divorcee, Lu knows the hardships of letting go and as a Countess she knows a little something about oil paintings. It’s heartbreaking to watch Sonja explain that all the fabulousness in the world didn't save her marriage. Honey, anyone would be lucky to have a woman with an iota of our fabulousness. I'm sure my boyfriend would love if I was a little more Sonja/toaster oven spice, and one day you'll find someone who loves you without you having to work so hard.

Brooklyn's Art Museum
Beyond learning about letting go from Sonja, we also find that you can just take revered works of art right off the walls like anything else. Just pull that right now like it’s nbd! Let that be a lesson to all you folks hanging on to portraits of her ex-husbands. My advice would also be to burn them, but I’m a cruel sort when I’m scorned.

Rumble in the Bronx
Next we see Aviva and Ramona having a post-St. Barth’s lunch. A lunch that apparently only came to pass because of -- Harry Dubin. Yes, Harry was apparently rung up by Detective Singer as she quested for more information about Aviva’s panic disorders and such. This did not sit well. And so she needed as much chamomile tea as she can to steel herself up for a brunch visit with RS. Ramona’s tactic to keep her cool: keeping her sunglasses on.

Things immediately don’t go well. Ramona urges Aviva not to raise her voice. And then the accusations of trip ruining fly. Oh and so do the naked spooning accusations. Yes, Aviva claims she saw Ramonja entwined in a nude embrace in the night, adding another level to their definition of “girls trip.” Ramona feels Aviva can’t be without Reid. Aviva feels Ramona can’t be without alcohol -- and with Sonja to look worse than her. Then there’s some confusion about driving and metaphors (m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r) and driving to diarrhea town and mirrors.

And then Ramona has her “appointment” and has to book it out of there. She’ll see Aviva “when she sees her.” Yikes. What could bring them back together? Could it be George (it’s not George).

Manhattan Major Moment
And then at a charity event on another side of town, Ramona is helping to raise money for the Domestic Women’s Abuse Center. As she points out, abuse comes in many forms -- including girlfriend abuse. Hmm, wonder whom she could be speaking of?

As the ladies arrive, they start to question if Aviva will be coming as well. Using our context clues a) the event is on the 150th floor b) when last Aviva saw Ramona they got in a massive spat and she gave R diarrhea, I’d think she wasn’t coming. Of course, I did appreciate Carole mentioning that she doubt’s anyone could traumatize Ramona. Agreed Radzi, if it is possible it must be very, very, difficult to do.

And I was right! Of course, I was wrong as well because George shows up. What?!? I mean this is a great place for him to meet some ladies, but perhaps maybe it’s inappropriate for him to be there? Well he does have the money to drop off and his daughter to defend, so he’s going to do his best to resolve their scrap.

Let me point out about this moment, that once again Harry Dubin is s—t stirring. George says Harry told him Ramona made fun of Aviva’s panic disorders. Is Harry Dubin the darklord behind all of this season’s tiffs? A benevolent force guiding the women to and fro fights at all turns? The guy does seem to come up constantly. Can everyone just erase his number and only communicate with him via those pig cartoons?

As Ramona get Ramotional, Sonja steps in to remind her “white trash doesn’t apologize.” Oh the things you learn on Google. I wasn’t aware that the internet had that much information about the behavior of slurs.

I have to give George some major snaps that in the midst of getting kicked out of the charity event he still has the balls to ask Carole out on a date. Never miss your in George. Who knows when you’ll see Radzi (especially looking so great in a gold lame top) again. Carole doesn’t agree to going to dinner with him, but she does agree to walk him downstairs as he gets escorted out. Of course, George isn’t completely perfect. He does call Ramona, “a trailer turd.” So, no one is blameless here.

But after all that, what’s left? LuAnn eating chicken on a stick with Sonja and trying to make sense of it all. Sonja feels that Aviva is enabled by George. I feel that all those chicken sticks in the world won’t mend this mess. What did you think? Was it wrong to send George as the messenger? Was it OK if he gave a fat check? What was that chicken on a stick? Leave it in the comments.

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Luann: Carole Should Stick to Tinder

Luann calls out some of the Housewives on their uncool behavior. 

Episode 4 always seems to be where the sagas really begin, and last night had me fairly fired up, if you hadn’t noticed. Carole and I were such great friends before, and I’ve been very disappointed by her this season. I slowly came to realize that when it comes to Carole, not everything is what it seems. There’s an element of “fake” in it, and you don’t really see it until it’s directed at you. You’ll see what I mean.

 I had no idea I’d have to keep an eye on a close friend, whom I would assume would know better than to pick up my staff. 

Luann de Lesseps

I had friends over for a nice dinner to celebrate my new house. (Yes, that morphed into Brunchgate, but the intention was pure and all in hopes of having a good time with the girls.) I had no idea that Carole, ever-so-single and ready to mingle, would start mingling with my chef, who happens to be my niece’s recent ex-boyfriend and my son’s friend. I had no idea I’d have to keep an eye on a close friend, whom I would assume would know better than to pick up my staff. It was too soon and a little too close to my family. I understand someone can be attractive and someone can be looking for love, but there’s a certain level of discretion and respect that we women should maintain for our inner circles, especially when there’s close family involved. Carole was highly aware of that! Obviously, she knew she was in the wrong; this is why she struggled for so long on how to tell me. It seems everyone else, including Heather, knew about it. (And Heather even knows my niece, which was just a tad more insulting than I expected from her, too.) Ultimately, it was sneaky, disrespectful, and uncool.

So let’s review: barfing in pedicabs, looking for men in your girlfriends’ kitchens and thinking it’s cute, hiding inappropriate flings from those friends and wanting to announce your fling via a “screwing emoji” on a text…tacky. WHAT she did and HOW she did it is the problem. I’m fiercely loyal to my friends and devoted to my family, and when anyone crosses that line, I defend it to the fullest. Carole should stick to good ol’ fashioned Tinder and not scavenge for dates in my kitchen. Cool? OK, moving on.

Now, I’ll admit: This episode was the Carnival of Cougars #GodSaveTheCougars! The boys, of course, had no clue what a “Jordache jean” is…nor should they. But good ol’ fashioned story time with Carole and the children was hysterical. LOL!  At least the boys left having learned something new from a bygone era. Either way, I’m happy to have been there and celebrated Bethenny’s birthday with her. Awkward table dance and all. (By the way, Sonja’s never looked better, and Ramona’s got some moves, right? No wonder Peter wants to talk business with Ramona--so he can get down to business with Ramona!)

I adore Dorinda's daughter Hannah. She’s got a great sense of humor, is incredibly smart and really knows how to work a room. When it comes to John, it’s hard to disagree with her. I feel bad for Dorinda, of course, and how she can’t seem to bridge both sides of her life, but I empathize with Hannah on this one. The Dorinda and John dynamic is a very strange one. It makes me very uncomfortable, to be honest. I think it even makes Dorinda uncomfortable, too.

Guys, let a lady order what she wants, OK? If you want to eat more, go home and get on Seamless. And if your date doesn’t have an appetite, I assure you she’d rather watch Curtis Stone and Bobby Flay have a throwdown than watch you throw it back while she sips on a martini. Then John really drove it home, overstepping boundaries that are not his to even come near. Of course, kids don't dictate a mother’s life, but every mother takes their child’s thoughts and feelings into consideration. If your kids don’t like your boyfriend, that’s almost worse than when your parents don’t like your boyfriend. Bethenny was right when she said having that “double life” is weird. If Dorinda was truly in a place where she wanted to be with this guy, she’d lay down the law with her daughter. Your kids ultimately go along with what makes you happy, even if they have to make a concession or two. This restaurant scene was enough to make anyone want to run onto a pedicab and puke all the way home.

Things are looking up, though. At least Bethenny and Dorinda bonded over a sample sale, and that’s the first stop on the road to recovery. I hadn’t seen Bethenny that excited in a long time. When the two diamond-crusted ladies in black arrived, the tone unfortunately changed and pots started to stir. I thought Heather went beyond the call of duty, as she tends to—with “Beth”—regarding Kristen’s non-invite to her birthday dinner. Kristen and Bethenny barely know each other! Of course, Bethenny is direct, and she can be aggressive. I think it’s now clear that once Bethenny gets to know someone, she’s all-in, and she’s a fun friend to have. But for me, once when they started to rebrand “widowry,” the party was over.

But in the grand scheme of things, I hope you see the party’s really just getting started.

Be cool.

Keep in touch with your favorite countess on Facebook at www.facebook.om/countessluanndelesseps and on Twitter and Instagram at @CountessLuann.

Be cool.

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