Carole Radziwill

Carole ponders what lead up to the "white trash" bust-up and discusses the mating habits of Bonobos.

on Sep 4, 20120

Class Warfare on the Richest Island in the Carribean
Some of the smartest people I know never went to Vassar, or even to college. Peter Jennings never finished high school and he was one of the most gracious, elegant, and intelligent men I’ve ever met. I’ve met people with enough degrees to paper an entire guest bungalow who have the manners of a jackal. Dangling an impressive resume to belittle someone isn’t like Aviva. I think she’s rattled by her suspicion that Sonja and Ramona have been talking badly behind her back.

 

Still, there is never a reason to call names. It’s not decent or nice. “White trash” is a derogatory slang term referring to people in this country of a lower social class. It’s a slur -- used by upper class whites to refer to uneducated lower class whites. While it may differ from Okie or Hillbilly, it’s still pejorative, and worse -- it’s vulgar and inelegant.

Hug Therapy Works!
Sonja is trying hard here. As I watched this scene, I wished I had hugged her. She’s been over-served and over-insulted and she’s hurt.

Healing touch therapy is a gentle therapy that emphasizes heart-centered care and compassionate healing intention. I think it works, because Aviva seems genuinely sorry in the touch therapy session. People do say things they don’t mean in the heat of an argument. I believe that. . .but then, huh?

Aviva had me at "Hello" but she lost me somewhere between "White Trash" and "Rush Limbaugh," and her reference to his infamous empty apology. Limbaugh wasn’t sorry for calling an innocent young woman a whore and slut, he was sorry his show lost sponsors. And it was arguably one of the nastiest moments in his almost 50-year broadcasting career.

314 comments
Grizzelda
Grizzelda

I loved you this season... I hope you drop this craziness and focus on Russ, writing, and your cooler than cool life. 

Gvmeserenitynow
Gvmeserenitynow

You are a talented writer:). Your viewpoint is welcomed. Much agreed about the inelegance of name calling which would include ensinuating that someone is fat. Perhaps I just misread or misunderstood the intent of your words in reference to the fat lady singing when in fact it was Sonja that did sing that evening in the house during that conversation. Because (excuse the grammar) that would be contradictory on your behalf, and you do not seem to roll that way. We all know insulting comments about weight are not only taboo but disgusting as they perpetuate the very sad epidemic of eating disorders. Clearly Sonja's body is beautiful and would be the envy of any woman. Ya can't accuse her of being too fat or too thin for that matter. Calling someone too thin is equally disgusting. Reid's comment was disgusting about overweight women. It's disappointing as women that the two of you at the breakfast table did not speak up. I'm guessing neither of you can control how thin you may be. I think you look great. Surely I misread this in your blog. I know you are much more thoughtful than that.

Nay.kah.la
Nay.kah.la

I love Carole as much as the next fan, but geez some of these bloggers are drooling! Put ur tounges back in your mouth. She's a cool chic, but human and flawed just like the other housewives or any other human being. Except with much more enthralling prose! I must say, you make me wanna go out and live a bit....float above the chaos for a while, like the visionis you create in your stories.. Ok there I go, drooling!

sueyoga
sueyoga

You are my favorite NY housewife.  You are certainly the 'voice of reason' with that crowd!  I am going to purchase your books, as my husband was very ill for eleven years and I think I can relate to what you went through.  Peace to you!

BarbGhig
BarbGhig

You are AMAZING, Carole!!! Thank you so much for your insight and for your beautifully written blog!

I don't know what I'm going to do next week, when the "Ladies" make you cry...I honestly don't want to throw anything at my television, so I guess I'll have to just brace myself! (((HUGS))) to you ~ You really are a lovely person!!!

tessanne
tessanne

Carole is one classy woman.

Carmella3
Carmella3

I respect you on the show.  You are correrct, you are not a drama queen.  Each housewife have their own faults but may not be able to handle them so graciously.

 

sassymama57
sassymama57

Women everywhere can learn a thing or two from Carole....I think she is beautiful, physically and in every way she carries herself.

sassymama57
sassymama57

Finally...a normal housewife!!! You are an inspiration and beautiful woman. Classy, elegant, thoughtful...it would be great if those other women would stop and learn from you...with the exception of Heather, she also acts with dignity and class. 

john.s.cummins
john.s.cummins

Carole, you are the most refreshing presence my hubs and I have seen on reality television. Thanks for being both game for the asinine hijinks on the show (after all, what kind of reality show would it be without them?) and willing to nudge the fourth wall in the interview chair. 

 

I wasn't acquainted with your work prior to this show; needless to say, I'm looking forward to reading more! 

 

P.S. I'd wager that many of we RHO__ fans don't read nearly as much as we ought to. Would you consider throwing a book recommendation - or even links to briefer pieces (articles, poems, essays) - at the end of your blog posts? I'd take your recommendations.

 

P.P.S. to Andy Cohen (et al.): If you're smart, you won't let Carole go. Give her her own show. You've got to be tired of Watch[ing] What Happens Live!; why not go on sabbatical and hire her as guest host? 

 

P.P.P.S.: Oh, and gurl, I can't speak for all the gays, but the two of us concur: your presence and sense of style are positively SICK. In a word: WERQ. 

meatl
meatl

I'm so sorry that Aviva ruined your vacation!!! 

SassafrasDeb
SassafrasDeb

Carole, you are without a doubt my favorite "housewife" of all time. Period.  I can relate/identify with you on many issues (especially while reading What Remains) and I greatly admire the beautiful, incredible, suave lady that you are.  I would have definitely followed you when you escaped the lunch and put my arms around your neck.  I gave you a hug through osmosis while watching tonight so I decided to comment here so you could feel it.  ;)So, from one strong classy lady to another, keep up the good work on the show and in your blogs.  I love to read and your blogs are great and your book was phenomenal.  

Shirley220
Shirley220

Carole...You and Heather are the BEST, hands down!   Am sorry, but there are a couple of dingy blondes I would call W____T____....but then, they didn't even know what it meant, so no point in that.  However, I will say you have the patience of a saint.  Bless you...

Sammy21
Sammy21

You are my favorite one the show, laid back, cool, confident in your skin, no time for drama. Recently I experienced the same tragedy you experienced with the loss of a wonderful husband, young, cancer and very quickly and tragic. You really give me hope, but I feel it is going to take years to get there. I would like to email to chat for advice if u could send your contact. Have a blessed day.

lovesleaves
lovesleaves

What a beautiful location for a vacation, although it was barely visible behind the drama.    Wishing you many more carefree vacations and congratulations on your book! 

Deanna11
Deanna11

Carole.  I find entertainment in all the RH women and admittedly, I am an avid fan---my escape from the daily grind.  You are the woman who I relate to most.  Kudos to you for always keeping your wits about you.  ps your ass is amazing!  

RHWNYfunny
RHWNYfunny

I think you look down on all the ladies.  Why in the world did you join the show.  I mean really I am tired of listening to you talk about how hard it was to be on a island without you husband, but you could be with another man.  You are so much smarter than everyone else.  I do not like listening to you talk so bad about everyone else. I wonder if you have always been that way.

deserttrat
deserttrat

You are amazing, my new favorite.

 

Caarla8
Caarla8

Carole you are my favorite I watch the show for you and Heather you both are awesome.  Don't let the other angry birds change you.  Ramona is definetly a few fries short of a happy meal.  She has issues:-)

 

I love your headphones, you are cool and hip!

SoFLAHousewife
SoFLAHousewife

Finally a true Princess.  You are a breath of fresh air.  Lovely delight to watch. Keep being YOU!

SargassoC
SargassoC

Carole, I just read What Remains and I'm haunted. I can't stop thinking about you, what you endured. Wishing you would write a sequel, because I am dying to know what got you through such tragedy - but I'm sure you have left all that behind. My heart went out to you, for what you must have been feeling on that small plane to St. Barths and the memories that ensued on the very same property you visited with Anthony. It's a shame that the women didn't recognize then (sans Heather) and still won't address this on their blogs. Too busy defending themselves for inexcusable behavior, I suppose. Also, I'm sorry you didn't get that letter from your husband. I can relate to this, as I've always wished I had gotten one from my mother. The doctors told her she had 6 months to live, yet she lived for two years. An acquaintance's mother passed away, and wrote her daughter a letter. I thought it was the most beautiful gift. "Thank you for being a wonderful daughter" would have been something to cherish. My mother wouldn't even mention what she wanted for a memorial. We were all scared to ask. She was like Anthony that way. She just didn't want to talk about it. It's a shame the girls didn't even toast to you, their gracious hostess, or to the completion of your first draft. They sure as heck toast to everything else. Thank you for sharing your story. It definitely puts things in perspective. (At least, it should... Aviva!)

rhwatcherch
rhwatcherch

Carol, You are, by far, my favorite housewife. While I agree that the ladies are a bit crazy, I think they were in serious need of some "hostess control" on this trip. Sonja, Ramona, and LuAnn were in the wrong for making an ordeal over the premise of Reid arriving with Aviva. If you, as the hostess, had an inkling to these discussions you should have put your foot down and said, "Look, you're all being rude. Listen to yourselves! Isn't she your friend?  I put together this trip and I can invite whom I wish. Enough!"  The same could be said for when Aviva blew up at Ramonja. Obviously, Luann instigated the fight but Aviva should have been told her behavior was uncouth and she should have been asked to apologize to the ladies or leave the house. That behavior on her part was beyond any line of acceptability (albeit, made for great tv)

I can see that you want to get along with all the ladies and not cause any waves but when hosting a trip the comfort of the group is your responsibility, correct?

 

On that note, what were you thinking by placating Aviva with a couples' dinner out??

 

I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself with your visits from Russ and the trip being a trip about you. You are a very funny and easygoing lady. I love to watch you on the show, even if you are AU apart from the ladies intelligence-wise.

aintgotnotimeferdat
aintgotnotimeferdat

Your writing is far too eloquent for this show!  Refreshing and lovely - thank you Carol.  I'm glad this show is giving you and your writings a broader audience, but can see you not wanting to come back next season. 

 

nansischneider
nansischneider

Brilliant, well written, prose to be proud of. Thank you.

 

biancala
biancala

I saved yours for last cause I knew it was the best-as always! Nothing more to say!

biancala
biancala

Sorry-just took my last one watching this!! :)

TracyKay
TracyKay

By gosh, you are such an enjoyable read! I love your blogs and your perspective on the train wreck episode I just endured.

You and Heather are the only two that I could spend an evening with.

ceeenu
ceeenu

Awwww Carole - I'm so glad to be able to know you a little. You are like an island in a storm. I'm proud of you for walking out, and hope that when the 'ladies' realize what they did, they reflect a little, and hopefully resolve to at least THINK a little. I also hope you realize that Heather is your friend. Don't feel completely alone as long as she is around. The other ladies did lose sight of the purpose of the trip. I kept wanting to scream at them "THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU OR YOUR HUSBANDS!!!!" Don't worry, though, all of us out here know the reality. Hang in there, and as much as I hate to say it, I think you and Heather should get off that show asap - before you catch the disease. 

djohnson60
djohnson60

Carole, I love your blog and I love your writing. There's only one thing that keeps it from being perfect. It's "couldn't" care less not "could" care less. It distracts me a little from your wonderful writing. My teacher would scold me when I wrote "could" in my papers and I guess I notice it when I see it in someone else's writing. I'm not saying this to be mean because I think you're wonderful and the best housewife on the show, plus you are one cool woman. I think you need to get all the other wives (maybe not Heather) to take a Xanax. Have fun with the rest of the show.

viewer222
viewer222

Carole, you are my idol.  You have so much class and natural beauty.  Your understanding of human behavior and your ability to express yourself with such clarity and diction is so admirable and appreciated.  Your intelligence, experience and cultural knowledge is so refreshing.  You are a truly a unique woman who posesses everything that we want our daughters to follow as an example.  My daughter is pursuing her media journalism career and I know how hard she is working and how much personal sacrifice you make on behalf of making the world a better place and assuring the public stays informed.  I can only hope my daughter grows to be like you  I wish you gave lectures on TED.  All respect and admiration.  Thank You for sharing some of your extraordinary life with us. :) 

HWfan175
HWfan175

Hi carole I have not been watching RHONY this season but I somehow ended up reading one your blogs and really enjoyed it. Then I saw you had written a book and I bought it. I really enjoyed reading your book, I can only imagine it must have been really hard to write it. I loved that you were very honest, some of the things you wrote about yourself were not the nicest but we are never perfect. I actually think you were too hard on yourself. I loved your book and can't wait for the next. Needless to say I will be watching RHONY now :). Good luck!

catherinefriemel.kennedy
catherinefriemel.kennedy

Carole, I do so enjoy your blogs as you write and read people so well. I'm so sorry the ladies behaved so rudely and frankly I am quite surprised as they were your guests. To be invited to a fantastic place, most of us can only dream of, and then to behave so badly is tiresome to watch and very difficult to understand. I'm going to miss you guys after next week!!

bunnylv
bunnylv

Carole, I absolutely LOVE your blogs! Finally, someone in the blogosphere is writing beyond the 5th grade level, exercising our brains, and as a demonstration of irony, turning an analysis of a Reality TV episode into a true work of art!

GB3333
GB3333

"American Indian" is a proper term. Many on the east coast are not aware. But that's what Google is for!

Tkeegan
Tkeegan

Carole, I just finished reading What Remains and you are so gifted in your ability to put your thoughts and feelings in writing. You have been through a lot in your life time. I feel like these (not so bright) women who you graciously invited to celebrate with you and Russ were rude and selfish. They were not even slightly in tune to the emotions you were experiencing being in St. Barthes again. You are such a strong woman. They weren't celebrating you and your recent accomplishment. Just be cautious about giving of yourself to those who don't reciprocate the kindness, love and support. I am empathetic to Avivia and feel that the spoiled brats are Ramona and Sonja. They lack humility. Their bad behavior pushed Aviva over the edge during a fragile moment. These women need to read your books!!!! Every woman on this blogg make sure you read What Remains. I can't wait to read your other books too. You are so talented!

mariann22
mariann22

Carole, I've been watching the RHONYC since its beginning but missed out on a few episodes the last season and caught this one in the middle. Once I finally caught up, it was easy to come to the conclusion that you are my favorite one (Heather 2nd). Its no surprise that you have nothing but raving reviews from viewers as you have a positive, cool and harmonious aura we should all strive for. You definitely know how to see things from different perspectives giving you a huge advantage. You dont let the small stuff bother you as life has thrown you much bigger things. I do really love the part in where you say that you embrace eveyone's differences and then find a commonality. Great advice! It's a wonderful thing to see real people with beautiful souls such as yourself visible to the rest of the world. Only confirms what I already know about human kindness. Thank you. Mariann :)

kiki13
kiki13

Luv ya Carole!  Hope you and Russ got a chance to enjoy the trip regardless of the craziness around you.  Thx for the fun and intelligent blog! 

melindaannie
melindaannie

You're awesome- I was having a hard day, and your blog made me laugh out loud, and I needed that! Love, love, love Carole!

SusannaBanana
SusannaBanana

Ahhh Carole, the one and only Housewife with any self-awareness!

betterwife
betterwife

Love your posts and writing Carole... just as much as I love you! You are the voice of reason on this show and speaking of show... you're the least show-offish out of the whole bunch! Love Heather too. I give her kudos for not inviting Ramona to London. Why should she? Ramona and Mario insulted her. I thought it was ridiculous of Aviva to keep hounding Heather about inviting Ramona especially since she wasn't even going herself. Aviva tis a little sanctimonious! (or a LOT! in my eyes.) Sonya is an embarrassment to all women, just as Ramona is. I'd just about given up on watching the housewives (don't watch Atlanta anymore, don't watch Orange County, or New Jersey anymore!) until you and Heather came along. Thanks for being on the show... please stay. Bravo should get rid of the whole old crew and start fresh with you and Heather. (Oh and thanks for posting my comment... I can't get comments through on Aviva's blog. As a writer, I know you'll allow the comments through moderation and that makes YOU a very secure and great person in my eyes!)

pywaket
pywaket

Carole,

Your blogs are always funny and spot on in their analysis of what happen in that episode.  I am so glad to know I wasn't imagining Lu was seething when Ramona cornered Tomas.  I must say green is not her color.  Avia and Reid should have stopped on their way and gotten her a cocktail or two and given her time to acclimate.   Avia was wired when she arrived and as ungracious as I have seen her.  I am sorry to hear that you missed the rehersal but glad to hear you left dinner and enjoyed some alone time with Russ.  Hope the trip wasn't a total bust for you as you should have been the "belle of the ball" for the trip was suppose to be in honor of your recent triumph with the book as well as the new show also Russ playing the blues fest.

sun238
sun238

Love you Carole!  I read What Remains long before I became a Real Housewives junkie and was very touched by your book.  You are a very eloquent write and your story is very moving.  Part of me thinks you won't be back for another season because you are too normal and down-to-earth :)

chilmarkgal
chilmarkgal

Carole you are my favorite housewife!!! NEVER CHaNGE!

HBeez
HBeez

Spot on!  Reading these posts you would think nobody actually watches the show.  I kept reminding bloggers that when you invited the 'girls' you said Russ would be there....so how was that EVER a girls trip?  I think Frick and Frack only hear what they want to hear.  They seem way too self absorbed to be nice to anyone.  You were right to stay somewhere else, I wouldn't want to be around that inmature mess either.

Starla
Starla

Love you sweetpea.

rhwatcherch
rhwatcherch

 @SargassoC

 Well said! It is kind of odd that the ladies don't acknowledge Carole's sensitivity to her very real and relatively recent tragedy.... or that her book isn't mentioned or toasted to. Just goes to show how self centered these ladies are, I guess. Carole is quite gracious and humble.

mrsdonut
mrsdonut

 @rhwatcherch

 I agree with everything you said!! So far, I like Carol, too.

 

I was also suprised to see that such a well-repected news producer, who has covered wars all over the world, could be overrun by a bunch of housewives! :-)