Tuesday afternoon, Boozy Lunch
Ramona has spilkes. Sonja has sex on the brain or maybe she’s drinking Sex on the Beach. And are we all drinking Captain Jack Rum? Foreshadow music here.
Whaaaa? Telling secrets. Loose lips sink pirate ships. Can I translate Sonja-speak “did me” = dated, right. Oh Sonja. OK, I don’t kiss and tell, but if I were to tell I’d say Clooney was a very good kisser. But I’m not telling, or am I?
Tuesday night, even boozier. . .
We all get ready to go to Le Ti St. Barths. Yes, Sonja, it will be a night we won’t forget. That is certain.
Pirate of the Carribean: The Curse of the Missing Italians
You know the old motto: It’s bad luck to sing about pirates in a fog. Well, we were singing on the way to Le Ti. And a dense fog rolled in off the moors of the island’s south side. Something like that. . .
We arrive and I’m reminded of Keira Knightley's character, the young Elizabeth Swann who said, “I think it would be exciting to meet a pirate.” Because just like that a pirate-waiter appears. And, oh, he looks like Johnny Depp.
We all had too much Captain Jack, and LuAnn might have even had more. She engages in a little Captain Jack Rum-running of her own.
As the "hostess" of such a wonderful gift to others, they certainly didn't honor you nor were grateful, nor considerate to your needs/feelings that I wished you would experience what true friendship is.......as those "ladies" were awful to you and didn't deserve your kindness nor that wonderful trip.
Carole, Regarding this "housewives" trip to St. Barts: You should NEVER have positioned this trip as a "girls trip". In fact, it appeared as though you simply wanted a way to be in St. Barts while Russ was there without looking like a "stalker girlfriend". You clearly wanted to be with him at every opportunity. That's no girl trip in my book.
My friends and I are well-off and all happily coupled. However, our annual girls trip is "girls only"... no boyfriends or husbands allowed. Whether it's for visits, drop-bys...whatever. It's either a "girls trip" or not. In this instance, all of the spouses/boyfriends should have been invited.
You, as the hostess herself was NOT on a 'girls trip"... why should any of the others have to be without their mates?
Sorry, but the fighting and misunderstandings were ALL your fault. You should never have put the girls in these positions. Since obviously your agenda was to be with Russ at every opportunity, you should have opened it up as a couples trip.
(btw: Luann joined the others in clearly expressing her own concern about Reid's presence. If you haven't already gleaned this: she speaks out of all sides of her mouth in order to either make herself look better or cover her butt. She is no one's friend; she'll throw any of you under the bus to protect herself)
Hugs girl, I really feel bad for you on this trip, you planned...you keep things a lot more together than anyone on there.
Carole, I really like a lot about you lol and here comes the BUT. When you and Lu Anne were at the store you made a very passive aggressive comment to her about being friends. It took LuAnne aback and it did the same to me too....There's a lot more to you than you are showing and I think you are repressed. Your anger might come out in quiet hit and runs like you did to LuAnne...Just saying
First, I remember you as being a reported and loved you then, love you now! Thanks for being a great addition to RHofNY!
I love, love, love your sense of humor.
In reference to the Why is Sonja bringing it up again? If anyone can explain it to me I’ll send you a round-trip ticket to St. Barths....I think that when Sonja keeps bringing up about her toaster because when the Pirate wants her to make breakfast in bed, she can say "You have already had my buns, but now you can taste them "toasty..." (referring to the but*****) joke! Would you like some icing on it!??/ (Gross! - I even gross myself out!) Please send me the tickets for a nice Christmas present!
You by the way are now my favorite of all the RH wives - including OC and NJ!
Love you Carole! Hugs!
lexiandsoso's mom - Bonnie
Love you on the show and so enjoy your blogs!! It is so refreshing to have an intelligent, cool woman on this show!! Unfortunately, given the high-degree of drama required of all the HW casts, I fear you won't last more than one season!! I do hope that Bravo will keep you on to emphasize the juxtaposition of healthy, grounded person and all the crazies!!!
Since you joined NYC cast, I am watching the show again. You are beautiful, intelligent, a very collected and charming person. The voice of reason in a verbal assault on the senses....ah refreshing. Love your sense of humor too... So keep it up, and I hope you are able to regroup during the break.
i really enjoyed your blog... very well written!! by the way... did you insinuate on tonight episode that sonya and tomas were caught engaging in butt sex?? omg, that was by far the funniest grossest thing ive seen on this episode!! and i thought sonya couldnt top the grossness of her period episode... i feel sorry for ya girl. hang in there.
Carole, you have such a great disposition and so far seem to have handled these dramas beautifully. Well done.
I really enjoy you on the show. I appreciate your obvious level headedness, maturity and classiness. It must be hard to control yourself around the ridiculous and silly antics of Ramona and Sonya. They are so absurd nearly all the time!
In general love how you dress excpet when you dress like a 20 year old, and didn't get the white cowboy boots with the skirt but thought you looked gorgeous at dinner the first night. Overall you are a definite bright spot in a sea of murky characters!
You are a breath of fresh air on this show. At least someone is normal. Enjoy your sane moments as opposed to the other two crazies. Please renew for next season, I'll keep watching then.
Carole you and Heather are the total package i.e.: funny, witty, smart, and beautiful. Your remakes in regards to Luanne had me in stitches. You was dead on when you said they did that and they raise you something else! Love it. I like the way you and Heather handle things. Real women see thru all the phoniness of the other ladies. I think you and Heather are on the same playing field.
Carole you are the most genuine, normal and interesting person to ever grace these shows. Thank you for that. Aviva is two-face, Luann is a dominant phony, Heather is trying too hard and a bit bossy at times...but not too bad a person, Sonja is a piece of trash, Ramona is flat out crazy. You are refreshing. Take care.
Carole, I enjoy your blog more than the actual RHW episodes. Is there another book on the horizon? "Memoirs of a RHW Survivor"? "I Was the Only One in on the Jokes" ? You are one in a million, girl!
Re: the toaster oven war> When the meetings took place with Heather and crew, Sonja was in la-la land. She is not paying attention half the time and can't make a decision. Then the second meeting, where she included the "mouthpiece" I mean Ramona of course, well nothing could come out of that meeting. Between Ramona batting her eyes at the guys and sneering at Heather and Sonja somewhere in her own head, how could anyone even think business? If I was Heather I would have cancelled the meeting when I say Ramoutha walk in. Anyhow...it seems that Sonja la-la totally forgot, or maybe never absorbed the fact that she didn't "hire" Heather for this fiasco, it was an offer from Heather to help her. DUH!
Then as for bringing it up in St. Barths, well that's easy.......Drama! When she and her co-hort Ramoutha are together having a few brews and Heather appears in their radar, it's time to make a "Toast" or a toaster oven. If I ever do see a Sonja toaster oven I assure you I will not purchase it. The memories of how it came to be will surely turn out burnt toast everytime.
Carole, hang in there and try to deal with Yummie Tummies, Pinots, Countessa behaviors, Aviva anxieties and still remain calm and cool.
I'll take "why is Sonja bringing up the toaster oven again" for the tickets, Alex:
Because finally in the epic battle between the Amazons (Luann) and the not-so-Amazons (Sonja), she can finally be first...by proudly and loudly proclaiming she has a bun in the oven!
Carole, you write the best blogs ever. You're clever, you are so patient with those women, you always try to stop the madness and if you did date George Clooney you're too good to be true. You're going to have to get down and dirty though if you want to stay on the show. They only llike mean spirited women and you, Aviva and Heather don't fit that bill. Good luck with those women!
No, it isn't just you. One difference is that you were an individual before you became a couple. You had an identity. The other women don't have a clue who or what they are until a man defines them. I'm like you -- happy with myself or with someone else. Only depend on myself. Takes so much of the stress out of any relationship I have, and lets the fun shine thru. I don't know how you got cast with these women (except Heather - she's the most like you), but kudos to you for maintaining your sanity.
What might be a LOT of fun and enlightenment (probably wrong word, lol, and perhaps not for you, but something to think about)... if you'd do a Housewives "rotation" ... Beverly Hills, Atlanta, Orange County, Miami....and back to NYC...
Your blogs and insight would no doubt be fantastical :O)
all good wishes + cheerio my deario!
You are one amazing gal, Carole!
Still chuckling over your hilarious comment about introducing the "Two crazy, drunken aunts"....
It makes me wonder... are R+S consciously imitating "Edina and Pats" from Ab Fab? and Avery would of course be "Saffron" in the role-reversal of a mature child taking care of the mum --- and chiding her for her sottish ways!!
Eddy and Pats are tv CHARACTERS tho. There certainly couldn't be REAL women who behave as such???!
p.s. What a lovely photo of you and Anthony on the beach. Thank you for sharing it. Lovely.
Everyone loves your blogs, What Remains, and we are all looking forward to your upcoming work... I support you and enjoy your writing 100% and though I KNOW you don't need my advice, I HAVE to say this:
Please, PLEASE never, ever, EVER use the phrase "breath of fresh air" as long as you live! I know people are using it in a complimentary way to describe you and how you appear on RHoNY; however, I cannot handle hearing it, reading it, seeing it . . . again. Ever.
"Why is Sonja bringing it (toaster oven) up again? If anyone can explain it to me I’ll send you a round-trip ticket to St. Barths."
Answer- She was drunk!
Michigan gets cold in the winter, so book the trip for January.
I find many of the Housewives entertaining but out of all of the seasons I watch (NY, NJ and BH) you and Heather are the only women I would every want to spend any time with. You guys just seem so cool and while I enjoy having a bit of sanity on the show, I wonder how you guys go roped into this. Should we expect a Housewives expose (fiction or non) from you soon? ;)
Carole - I think you are hysterical. OMG. I wish I had your wit. Your contribution to this show is unsurpassed. I have renewed interest after last season. Don't go changin'...
hahaha..I love you Carole--can we all just sign up to read your blogs in lieu of watching the show? Separately, I like Ramona and feel sorry for Sonja--together they are an immature disaster...what women in their fifties or close to it demand their noodles so they can play in the pool and bitch and moan that their gracious hostess had her boyfriend over for an evening?? How in the world did you ever not just haul off and pop them one!? LOL I loved What Remains--read it in one evening and overnight and couldn't get it out of my mind for days...your husband was soo handsome-I'm glad that you kept your memories that flooded to you upon your arrival to yourself on the trip if only to preserve them in the prescence of Sonja and Ramona, but glad you shared them with us here! Can't wait until next week!! Or can we? LOL =D
"Why is Sonja bringing it (toaster oven) up again? If anyone can explain it to me I’ll send you a round-trip ticket to St. Barths."
Sonja wants to sell toasters for financial reasons... drama over photo shoots and logos creates more publicity for her and the silly toaster. If her toaster oven gets mentioned in every episode, she has succeeded. Heather is pretty professional and therefore defensive of her role in Sonja's project so she feels compelled to defend herself. Ramona will happily argue about anything with anyone as long as she gets attention.
St Barths looks awesome. Send me and I'll report back on Tomas.
omg my favorite line of the show this week, Hi Carol is sitting right here. When Aviva and SonJa where having the man argument. This was so funny. I really could not help but wonder maybe you should just make a habit of being in the background of every scene. Wouldnt it be funny if you just could be a fly on the wall. Love Love Love your humor and your facial expressions. Hope you stay on next year.
just keep it fun....no need to take moments and "loudness" too seriously or you will never make it and oooh yeah in all past seasons in all HW series "ladies trip" has a stringent definition. better to figure that out sooner than later
Okay, I'm you in Indianapolis. Okay, I'm you without the title, the body or your resume. HOWEVER, I am always the one without a guy and I'm always comfortable hanging out with my friends and often times with their husbands. Who cares? You are so right, you don't need testosterone around you all the time. Now, I'm still looking for my Russ though. Too many men want to much too fast. There are no men here who can actually handle the casual thing. Let's be real though - I'm watching Bravo.......not too many straight guys can follow a conversation about Bravo. Hahahaha!
Please Lord, I hope you will put Ramona and Sonia in their place at the reunion show.
I'll take that trip to St. Bart's - free advertising courtesy of Housewives drama. I would never buy a toaster over but I might have been tempted if the hunky guy had been on the box - alas. As I have posted before, love your blog and the longer the better.
I can appreciate your fear of flying in small planes as I have the same problem. However, if you base it solely on the accident that occurred in 1999, that doesn't make complete sense. John Jr. was not a professional pilot. In spite of poor visibility, he decided to pilot the small plane even after a professional pilot was available to fly the plane for him. The crash (in that case) was due to pilot (John Jr.) error. As painful as that loss was and continues to be, it was could have been avoided. It would be the same thing as staying out of cars because you knew someone who died in a car crash.
What Remains is a beautifully absorbing book. I just finished it and I look forward to your next book.
All hail Carole;) Your writing is so funny and engaging. Love it and love you. I wish I had your chic"ness" I have to push the pause button every scene you are in to study what you are wearing. Your style is so easy, trendy, edgy, classy, comfortable and age appropriate...you're not even trying. I watch all the housewives and you by far are a cut above the rest, though I really adore Heather and I like Aviva. You my darling are the HW "it" girl. Can you just have your own show so I don't have to put up with the Ramonas and Sonjas?
When I first saw you on the show I remembered articles I read years ago of you, your late husband, the late John Jr. and Caroline Kennedy. I didn't know if you were the same Carole, then i thought (damn) Bravo hit the jackpot when they signed someone like you.
I don't know how you dealt with the great loss but you are one tough cookie with a great life and amazing past. Thank you for letting us into your life for a peek.
hum... humm... huummm...
You with your princess title, even if you don't use it, should be much more protective of LuAnn. Having traveled the world you obviously haven't stopped to see it nor gotten to know the cultures and countries. Where is your loyalty?
hi carole, had to laugh at the part when you said you heard male voices one of them is Luann
ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
@cherwin Ramoutha....... Funniest thing ever. Love it.
@ProudENFP Carole will always be a breath of fresh air!
I do not think she is so terrified of flying in the plane but of the memory of losing a friend.
Lynda, while I do agree with you about the crash being 'pilot error', I respectfully, must correct one thing about your comment: John was a licensed pilot, however, he was not certified as an 'instument rated' pilot.
The difference between the two, is that an 'instrument rated' pilot is a pilot who is able to fly in weather with reduced visibilities such as rain, low clouds, or heavy haze and has the skills needed to complete flights without visual reference to the ground (blind). John did not have this certification, so when the weather was bad he was not able to fly the plane using only the instrument panel. John was a recreational pilot and did not need to be instrument rated in order to fly, but as we all know, when you do that, you take your life in to your own hands.
I only know this because my husband's hobby is flying. He is instrument rated. He flew the same flight under the same weather conditions in a simulator to see how the crash could have happened. Without using his instrument panel and only using a visual just like John, he crashed! The second try, he used only his instrument panel and he landed successfully. He said if John knew how to read the instruments he would have survived.
@PowerShot This is funny. I would say doing features on amputees in Cambodia and traveling with military in various countries in the Middle East and reporting on refugees in Southeast Asia would lay to rest the absurd claim that Carole hasn't stopped "nor gotten to know the cultures and countries." Carole's priority should not be to the other women of this show, all of whom are adults and can make their own (questionable) decisions themselves.
@PowerShot You lost me. Are you saying Carole should be loyal to LuAnn because they are both royalty? How arrogant and snobbish that would be!
@PowerShot Whats your point? You are not making any sense.
@Margarita12 I agree. Powershot didn't make sense. I love Carole. I think her blogs are hysterical and truthful.t