Carole Radziwill

Carole discusses the proper etiquette required on a girls' vacation.

on Sep 11, 20120

I loved sleepovers as a kid. Some of my favorite memories were the nights I spent at my best friend Linda’s house, spreading our pillows and sleeping bags all over her basement floor and staying up way into the morning, talking about boys and clothes and the mean girls at school.

When I got older, I discovered girls trips. My first real one was spring break my senior year of high school. I saved up my money from my job at Caldor and we went to Ft. Lauderdale, and I almost lost my virginity to someone named Mike. Well, not exactly, but it was my first big make-out session, where clothes were shed and hands were groping.

One of my all-time favorite girls trips was the summer of 2003, St. Tropez. Some friends and I rented a villa there, in town, and things that tend to happen on girls trips, happened. We drank too much at night, woke up hung over the next morning, then gossiped by the pool about the previous night’s activities until it was time to go out again. It was perfect. There was booze and boys -- and Francois! Francois was the deckhand on the catamaran we rented one of the days. He was gorgeous, and he barely spoke English. He looked like Tom Cruise. He really looked like Tom Cruise. It was uncanny, in fact, how much he looked like Tom Cruise.

Francois and I flirted on the boat and when the day turned to night we danced until all hours at Le Cav de Roy, the chicest club in southern France. (Tables were involved). Naturally he was in no condition to drive home, so I brought him back to our villa. One thing led to another and we fell in love. At least until the sun came up and I realized I had to sneak him out. We spent the next day driving along the French coastline, roaming thru quaint coastal towns, eating foie gras, pommes frites, brie, and baguettes. When I returned, of course, I was the pool gossip. Me and my Tom Cruise-alike French pirate. My girlfriends and I laughed for days -- so fun -- about my epic romance with Francois and our deep meaningful conversations.

458 comments
melindaannie
melindaannie

By the time it was Russ's concert, all Aviva had done was sneer, and be nasty to R and S! You would have ditched someone if they were treating you like that too. Why, all of a sudden you could pull the "I can't believe you didn't make it to the concert " card, it is just too clear to me, why they would not want to be around A for one more second, on that trip!

the2regina
the2regina

Do not understand.  You mock Ramona and Sonja for doing the same thing you do.  Explain?

And Aviva oh my Lord what a buzz kill!

melanie.white.102361
melanie.white.102361

Carole,

 

Sonja can be compared to the main character, Blanche, of the Tennessee Williams play "A Street Car Named Desire". As you are a writer and reader of good literature, I am sure you are familiar with this play and the movie that starred Vivien Leigh as Blanche and Marlon Brando as Stanley. In the movie, Blanche says that though her behavior might have been questionable, deliberate cruelty was something she could never be accused of, as her behavior never harmed anyone nor was she ever cruel and mean to anyone.

 

If you could actually view the footage of Sonja vs. Aviva, you can see that though Sonja really let loose on vacation and went wild with fun, drinking, flirting, etc, she was not deliberately cruel to anyone- you looked like you were having fun at Le Ti and on the boat!.

 

On the other hand Aviva is more like the Marlon Brando (Stanley) character of the Play and film "A Streetcar Named Desire". She was deliberate in her attacks on Sonja and the group, she does need to be in control of every situation, she does need everyone to cater to her every whim, she does lash out when she doesn't get the attention and deference she feels she deserves, she does feel and act superior, she was cruel and mean and did deliberately seek to hurt Sonja again and again with her words and selfish behavior. She did ruin the vacation for everyone and then blame others for its ruination. She did manipulate you into double dating with her knowing it would push everyone over the edge, Just like Stanley she does have rage and anger issues.

 

it is disappointing that though both are flawed, you cannot seem to see the pretentious, self-centered meanness of Aviva, who in no way needed any apology from anyone, least of all Sonja.

cathybiamonte
cathybiamonte

Carole,

 I look forward to reading your blog each week. 

Shirley220
Shirley220

Carole:  Love your clever blog...I had so much fun reading it!  Will definitely be reading your book.  You are a lovely woman and I've been studying you and I love your style.  You have a simple elegance in the way you listen and observe without reacting negatively...yet you are taking it all in and with quiet dignity (and a sprinkle of humor), you make mental notes filing it away for future reference. You reach out to people who are genuine (as you did with Heather) and I admire  your quiet way of handling unpleasant people and situations.  Will look forward to your future blogs and books.  You and Heather are my favorites by far.  I am pleased you have become good friends.  You are a Princess indeed,in my book!  All the best to you.

myakinass2001
myakinass2001

Carole you can't move to crazy town and wonder why there are so many crazy people there. That's like going to a Hospital and asking why everyone is sick. We are a culmination of everyone we have ever know and we can't be judged for that. You write beautifully but this is a blog, not a book! Get to the point! You are a little long winded.

ms.Patti
ms.Patti

Hmmm, I was just scrolling through the BS..............ta hell w/the haters they are clueless......Ur trip was a very emotional one.............whats even more special is that your new man was there for you....I saw ur past meeting ur present love life.........but yet this is TV who knows..... ta hell w/the haters keep on doing Carole eff eveyone eles

ms.Patti
ms.Patti

Carol e so sorry for ur losses I hope you revisit Barths again to get ur closure......You are soooooo cool and remarkable to see how you dress down ur princess status....keep it up GF... I really liked that you and Mrs Yummie Tummmie bonded I bet u2 will be friends for life...U2 are a great example for what women all across the country should be doing which is bonding/binding together......Nothing like the support of a great GF......hope to see more of ya next year.............I was wondering..  Was that dating book you were working have a connection to the dating show that was airing on BRAVO???? 

lovesucks123
lovesucks123

I do not think Love Sucks. I thought I was putting in a pass word, not a user name. But I am stuck with it now.

 

Carole, you are so  calm,. rational, and have your life very together. I am conflict avoider also. Trust me you are handling it all very well. You hear both sides and then try to understand where the person is coming from. I think we all know that Ramona and Sonja have a dysfuntional relationship. Ramona seems to need some xanax badly. As someone who has a degree in psychology and was manager of a large private mental health facility, she may have bi-polar. She is just up and down like a roller coaster.  Sonja just needs her ex to pay up and for her to move on. I think she has a good heart, but the drinking brings out a very unlady like side.  

 

Love you blog. Really like Heather. She is most like you, from what I see. She just really tries to see all sides. Aviva didn't proceed with caution. After the Miami trip she should have realized what a hand full they are.

 

I don't think you should do another season. You are to classy - unless they are looking for a voice of reason. You don't want to be put on their level.

 

Take care....Loved your book, love your strength, love you beauty, honesty and  no I am married. LOL  

hannah.goldin
hannah.goldin

CAROLE I DO NOT KNOW HOW YOU KEPT FROM PULLING YOUR HAIR OUT ON WHAT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A RELAXING TRIP. PLUS IT SEEMED TO BRING BACK GOOD AND SAD MEMORIES FOR YOU. I THINK THAT YOU HANDLED YOURSELF WITH GRACE AND CLASS. I AM SORRY FOR YOU LOSSES WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR HUBBY. YOU AND LUANN ARE MY FAVORITE ON THE SHOW. YOUR NOT DRUNKEN, FEUDING, SEX ADDICTS WITH TOTAL STRANGERS. ( I HOPE THAT THE ONE THING RAMONA AND SONYA AND HEATHER KEPT THINKING HAPPENED WITH LU DID NOT BUT IF IT DID IT IS NO ONES BUSINESS BUT HER OWN.) I HOPE THAT YOU ARE DOING WELL AND I HOPE THAT GOD WILL STRENGTHEN, COMFORT, AND GUIDE YOUR WITH ALL OF YOUR LOSES. PLUS STOP HOLDING SO MUCH IN ITS NOT HEATHY. I'M NOT SURE I WOULD SHARE WITH ANY OF THE NUTS THAT YOU ARE ON THE SHOW WITH BUT MAYBE SOMEONE. YOUR IN THOUGHT AND PRAYERS AND GOD BLESS.  P.S. NEXT VACA YOU TAKE I THINK YOU WOULD BE BETTER OFF TAKING A GROUP OF ROTTWEILERS THEY ARE LESS TROUBLE. (JUST KIDDIN) TAKE CARE.

lulugriffin
lulugriffin

Why are you so gentle with Aviva?  Unless you're clear and firm, she doesn't get it.  Stop beating around the bush with her....she's totally self-absorbed and needs to be called on it.

stephanie.h.winters
stephanie.h.winters

I just have to say  I think you are Great...best person on the show..I find you to be true and very real..not like the other women..you ACTUALLY have class...I am team Carole and Heather all the way...I find the other women to be snobbish and think they are better than everyone else, not so with you..I think you are humble and very real..keep it up...You and Heather are doing a great job!!

Angie.n.Phil.Roman
Angie.n.Phil.Roman

Dear Miss Carole: All I can say is "Lord, have mercy!" If you must spell it out, they simply do not deserve another opportunity. God bless you and your lovely, and common sense, "Rules for Guests".

 

You are welcome at my home, anytime.

 

Angie

salute
salute

You are not a good host. sorry. own it.

Spade7Seven
Spade7Seven

Carole -

 

You are a great writer.  I actually look forward to reading your blogs - makes me feel like I'm in a college level Literature class.  

 

- R

 

walterscott
walterscott

Note to Bravo:  Get rid of the three new characters and bring Jill back.  Each of the three new characters have shown themselves to be hypocrites and judgmental.

orchid2012
orchid2012

Carole, how about a guide to the perfect host.  It seems that the little time you spent with the Kennedys you did not learn much.  Inviting only one guest to go for diner was not too classy.   How long were you part of the Kennedy family? 5 years?.  Sorry about your husband and the memories of St. Bart.   Perhaps now you will have better memories of St. Bart with Russ.

lisatherese
lisatherese

Priceless.  I hope they pay you all a lot of money for this--for some of you as a reward for enduring the BS and for other for handing over your dignity.

shakin_my_head
shakin_my_head

Carole, next time a situation such a you have finished the draft of your book and Russ is playing at a Blues Festival DO NOT invite anyone to come along. You two just go and spend some quality time together and leave the New York Zoo in New York. Absolutely love your style and your easy going personality. Congratulations on Widow's Guide. You are the type of person that people can relate to and are genuine which make people want to be your friend. I know you are a writer so please ignore my improper use of grammar. LOL

YZup
YZup

Carole,

You are so talented, you are a great addition to the show!  I Love your blogs and tune in every week, just to be entertained by you & the girls.  I Love watching... in a stalker kind of way ;)

scaryisland
scaryisland

oh gosh you are so full of yourself. i've been reading some of your blogs and it is just too comical to me. You know you're not Lois Lane on assignment to investigate the housewives of new york and their silly ways? Right? you do realize that you are part of the cast?? I wonder sometimes if you forget this. You don't want to start appearing like the crazy person in the asylum thinking you're the psychologist, and not like the crazies; standing there with your notepad, pencil and straitjacket! Relax there Joan Collins. It's fine to notice the funny things that happen around you, but when you start acting like a lecturer, you've lost some grip on reality and now that becomes part of one of your character flaws we can laugh at, Princess Carole.  

kelly_nicole
kelly_nicole

@CaroleRadziwill your blog is so hilarious in a cool calm and collected Carole way! I love your list - you're so right #FrenchSpeakingItalians

LadyH
LadyH

Carole,

 

I have been enjoying watching you this season. You have brought a new and freshing positive attitude to these group of ladies until this trip to St. Barts. You came off a little condensing, and judgemental. Ramona and Sonja are pills but they are funny and harmless. Like Ramona or not she  makes the show along with Sonja. You invited all the ladies and yes it is true one of the main reason going on the trip was to see Russ. It is no problem with you  seeing and spending time with Russ, you should. It was a girl trips and as you said Ramona did get the memo Aviva  did too.  She did ask when you invited them could she bring Reid. At that point you should have said no that it would not be fair to the other ladies. And you should have stated that at the time and that you would be spending time with Russ some of the time. And the ladies would have been fine with that. And would have wanted you too. I rewatched the episode when you were inviting the ladies and Aviva knew that it would be a problem and it was a girl trip. The other ladies were there and enjoying themselves with no drama. And you seem to be enjoying them until Aviva arrived. Then you basically kick the ladies to the curve if you will. She rudely came in Ramona's room  and you said nothing. You actually called out Ramona but you should have called out Aviva. Carole you are a very intellect woman come on. Don't ask her to come to anything, she is not worth the trouble.

judyann325
judyann325

carole, you should have taken a stand and defended ramona and sonja when aviva laid into them so brutally!  you also should have told aviva that she and reid better leave, especially when she gave you the ultimatum:  either you kick out ramona and sonja or SHE'S LEAVING!  that was obviously a desperate ploy for attention because when you didn't react, she didn't leave.  part of being a good hostess, which you neglected mentioning...is that you don't allow one guest to ruin the experience for the others with abuse or other unacceptable behavior.  no, you shouldn't have to play the cop but sometimes it's necessary.  aviva was a disgrace and it was disgraceful that you didn't have the guts to stand up to her and kick her out!  the other girls were having a wonderful time and she had no right to ruin it with her dramatics.  sonja's right.  she's a piece of work!

besos10
besos10

Carole, 

  im sorry you had to deal with all that drama on the trip to St. Barts. I really wish you or someone should have told Aviva that her behavior ever since she arrived on the island was changing the whole dynamic of the trip. However, i think that you are a lovely woman with a kind heart. You are a great addition to this season! 

Diori
Diori

Hi Carole, I don't want to sound rude but I think you are not a real princess. You were married to a Prince's son. You just shared the title. LuANN also she is not a real Countess. I find that both of you, you like the charm to be named "princess" and "countess" specially at NYC with all the benefits that a social life can bring to caring them. But, I think that a real princess, she would never share publicly her sex life, even if she is a good writer. That is not a good etiquette. Sorry if I am quite blunt.

redgjgirl
redgjgirl

You are just great!  Love you and Heather.

 

Dax
Dax

The first page of your blog has nothing to do with the show. It looks like the beginning of a chapter in a book you are writing: chapter three "St. Barts"

lovekats
lovekats

Hi Carole. well said. After watching the episodes in St. Barts it's easy to recognize which actions you are referring to in your blog. Even though this was called a girls trip they all knew you would be spending some of the time with Russ.

These are grown women, i can't imagine anyone being upset that you planned a dinner with him even if it included Aviva and Reid. Just being there in that tropical climate with a pool and everything else available to them, why worry about you double dating for a few hours?

As the hostess of the house, i thought you were given more to deal with than you should have from a few of the ladies. and you know more than we viewers do about what went on. 

I'm glad you got to see Russ and i hope overall it was a good time. 

AudreyEH
AudreyEH

on point + brilliant, as always, Carole!

 

a cyber-toast to you Carole, (i'll hoist a proseco to you after typing)....All good wishes + cheerio my deario!

 

Audrey (deedee from the 'nabe)

Florida_Gal
Florida_Gal

Carole

 

I learned a great lesson from you. Several times when "Ramonja" or others attempted to engage you in something controversial... you don't react. You just listen. I love it and will use  it.  It doesn't happen to me much in my personal life because I don't gravitate towards such people, but I do run into people like that now and then and will use this strategy. Just listen. 

Florida_Gal
Florida_Gal

Hi Carole

 

Seems to me you did the best you could under the circumstances. You didn't see everything that the viewers did at the time of filming. Aviva, up to this point, seemed to be a reasonable person. You had already witnessed Ramonja's antics.  So you probably felt that most of the 'issues" were stemming from Ramonja. Yes, "Ramonja" is high energy and high maintenance, however, from watching this episode it was my opinion that Aviva was the instigator every time. She took a relatively small issue and blew it completely out of proportion.

 

I'm stunned that some people are criticizing you because I'm amazed that a person can be put these situations and go through it as gracefully as you.  Particularly since you were remembering your loved ones. By the way, it's not name dropping to talk about your husband and his first cousin. It's family.  

 

Very best to you, Carole.  

pjacobs
pjacobs

Carole,  Your'e a hoot!!  I hope the rest of the cast reads your blog!  How in the heck did you get involved with these women, you and Heather seem to be the only girls with any kind of sense!

penneyone
penneyone

Carol, No one on this trip knew how you felt about small planes and the house you stayed at. You only told the viewers and Heather. Ramona tried to ask why you were crying at the lunch and you just walked out. She can not read minds. That was one reason she didn't go to the concert. You criticize all the ladies,but not let them get to know you. If you don't like any of the ladies, why are you on the show? YOU PUZZLE ME. I thought your blog was stupid.

penneyone
penneyone

@Shirley220 ,.. You've been studying Carol? Crazy....Take a lesson from her on reacting to negativity as you put it. You attack every poster on this post that has a different opinion then you.

Shirley220
Shirley220

 @myakinass2001 I don't get it...why do you care whether it's a short or long blog?..I loved it.  If it's too long for you to take the time to read it all...quit.  Don't spoil the joy the rest of us have in reading her blogs...this last one was a hoot, sorry it wasn't longer!

pjs
pjs

 @ms.Patti what did you say, it makes no sense to me

Shirley220
Shirley220

 @walterscott You have GOT to be kidding????  Love Carole, Heather and Aviva is good woman too, although she did get off course a bit. However, really miss Jill.  I liked her a lot.

Turtlemom
Turtlemom

 @orchid2012 

Maybe she spent her time with the ones that are not in trouble all the time. Only

part of the clan has anything real good to learn from, those she spent time with

JFKjr,his wife and sister, a small number of cousins. Her late husbands side is

where her late friends learned manners, to give of themselves and to stay out of

trouble. That was where true class comes from. Jackie knew who and where to

let the kids grow up!!!

Carole grew up with class, love and so much more. She did not come from a ton of money but she is a very smart person, made her way in the world and met a 

prince of a man. She is the coolest, level headed and caring woman on the show.

Heather is very cool, level headed and I hope that they can stay friends forever!!!!

Shirley220
Shirley220

 @orchid2012  I think it was very kind of her to invite them and most of the other women were extremely clear they wanted no part of anyone's husband being around.  So, she was actually being a very savvy hostess who tried her best to make sure that Reid and Aviva were made welcome.   Sounds like she did a great job for all concerned.  Smart woman, great hostess.  Everyone should have been very happy.

Shirley220
Shirley220

 @scaryisland What's your problem?  For once we have the opportunity to  be entertained by someone who can write an fun and clever blog instead of a bunch of ridiculous drivel and or self promotion.  Rejoice and stop complaining. 

Florida_Gal
Florida_Gal

 @scaryisland She is being herself. She is a writer. So she writes. And she writes very well. 

lovesucks123
lovesucks123

I teach high school. This is exactly the best technique. Ignore bad behavior and reward positive. People like Ramona and Sonja want attention. Any attention! Lou Ann is in a very odd place. No connections (except with Tomas). She doesn't have Jill Zarin to run to. I don't think her head is in this season. She really is on another planet.  

Shirley220
Shirley220

 @penneyone Her blog was extremely clever and well written...obviously you are not particularly bright.

redgjgirl
redgjgirl

 @penneyone Everyone did get the info that she didn't want to go on about planes.  Do you think everyone wasn't aware of the history?  She is nice and she tries more than most of the girls deserve.  And why do you have to call her blog stupid.  Name calling isn't pretty on any side.  You should lunch with Aviva!

penneyone
penneyone

@Shirley220 Stop with the negative, personal attack. You must have about 20 0f them on this blog

maidtamm
maidtamm

 @redgjgirl  @penneyone ...lunch with Aviva and don't read Carole's blog.   There is plenty of reading material out here.

penneyone
penneyone

@redgjgirl I didn't do any name calling. I said her blog is stupid. When you are of a certain age you don't need or want rules on how to be. If you read Ramonas' blog, she didn't find out why she was feeling bad until they left the Island. I CAN NOT STAND AVIVA, SO YOU STOP WITH THE SNIDE REMARKS.