Carole Radziwill

Carole counts the hours she didn't sleep in London and plots a future Woody Allen collaboration.

on Jul 9, 20120

On the other hand, while Heather is taking 20 meetings an hour and building her international empire, Sonja, LuAnn and I are literally dying. Not only from no sleep, but also now from starvation. Did you know that your body starts to eat itself when you starve it? It eats your fat first, then your muscle, then whatever else is left. By the time we got to introductions at Heather's dinner half of my internal organs had collapsed. It's why I couldn't stand up. Then someone announced he was Queen and LuAnn knows the Radziwills (of course!) and I'm a Suck-Up People Pleaser who will say whatever you want to hear as long as I don't have to stand and you give me a little food. (Up 27 hours)

In the end, it's Sonja who gives the classy toast. Right before she orders. . .the ribeye. Plot point.

There is a disorder associated with lack of sleep called Fatal Familial Insomnia (FFI). It belongs to a class of diseases that includes --– drum roll, please -- Mad Cow Disease. Yes, Mad Cow, which we all remember started in England and this is another reason I can't stand up at Heather’s dinner, and also why I'm increasingly grouchy -- I ordered the ribeye, too! Sonja and I are having mad cow hallucinations from the beef and lack of sleep. She heard music playing in her egg pod toilet and I couldn't even pee in mine because my endocrine glands were shutting down.

The toilets were a rip off of the Orgasmatron, anyway. I'm telling Woody Allen when I call him about the movie.

After dinner we went to Annabelle's, a private club that we got into because of Sonja and LuAnn's Olympic-caliber name-dropping. We got back at 3 am. And then, like 10 minutes later, I got up. I have now been awake for almost 34 hours.

126 comments
Grizzelda
Grizzelda

Best Housewife post EVER. (IMHO) Love your writing to bits.

HeatherStar
HeatherStar

Metamorphosis- Kafka. :o) Love your writing.

lachonew
lachonew

Reading your blogs has inspired me to purchase your book. 

seraphine
seraphine

Carole I love seeing the New York that you know, love your writing and your humor...giving LuAnn a dose of her own one-upping this week was hilarious!  You are a refreshing and real addition to RHONY and I totally agree with you that its more comedy than drama. 

readergal1004
readergal1004

I really like your writing style! I plan to read your book as soon as possible! 

MissMS
MissMS

Oh, underneath a huge gardenia bush during an outdoor party. In Tennessee, of course.

MissMS
MissMS

You're funny smart. And you quote Churchill? Girl crush.

8080808
8080808

It sucks that I'm only 18 because if I was closer to your age I would want to marry you. 

EMW
EMW

 

P.S. You ROCK, Carole. 

EMW
EMW

If LuAnn doesn't thinking writing and publishing a NOVEL is harder than giving birth to a real baby, she's never done it!  I'm part of blog called "Book Pregnant" with other traditionally published debut authors, all who have books coming out in 2012 and 2013. Maybe you should show this to her. LOL 

Shellz111
Shellz111

Your "too cool for school" demeanor is annoying.  you are to old to act like that.  didn't you know before joining the show that these women are annoying/petty and make everything a big deal.  you seem so surprised and annoyed by every little thing that they do, and your reaction and constant negative remarks to every little thing is just too much.

Tiffin109
Tiffin109

Carole, My goodness you're easier to take on the written page than on camera.  The too-cool-for-school attitude is wearing on us viewers.  The convertible, the song, the boyfriend, the interaction with husbands and their wives.  Creepy.  And, here's a tip, what happens in the beauty salon while on camera does not stay at the beauty salon.   You come across insincere as you obvious just wanted to plant a seed for the viewer and you used Aviva at the bait. Grow up!

 

Hecuba
Hecuba

'Winston Churchill said, "We think too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm".'

 

Oh, WINSTON. Of course. I know the family. ;)

 

I thought your Woody Allen reference was going to be about Heather's glasses. (I love Heather, and I love kooky glasses.)

 

PS In a tree. Sort of. Attempts were made.

MissLuxurious
MissLuxurious

Favorite Housewife!! Classy, Intelligent, and so witty!! I will read your books and watch your tv shows any time :)

obleo
obleo

So refreshing, funny and someone actually worth watching.  I'm so tempted to tell you to go away, far far away, but then I'd have to stop watching to show...........

julesforreal
julesforreal

I'm so glad you are on the show! Finally someone i can watch who isn't fake. Love your humor!

Sweeteena1018
Sweeteena1018

Carole, with regard to your poll question did you notice that a lot of posters said that the most bizarre place they ever bonked were; Behind a Church, beside a Church, in a church bathroom, on the roof of a Church, on the way to Church? Wow! forget about calling Woody Allen I think your next book should be about "50 ways to Bonk at Church while no one's watching" LOL....of course I'm kidding, but seriously people what's that about?

metallisktispe595@yahoo.com
metallisktispe595@yahoo.com

I'm still iffy on Carole. Loved her right away but she's kinda over killing the "I'm too cool to do anything, participate, and have fun" attitude.. You'd be a lot more fun if you just let loose and have fun instead of kinda making fun of everything.

Katt61
Katt61

Geez! Now you're starting to bug me. I'll admit there is some humor in your blogs, but the "bugged" shtick looks like a pathetic attempt to excuse your rudeness.    

IcyAll
IcyAll

Love your blogs.  You had the best comment this episode, in response to Luann's question "Don't you just love the British accent?" -- I LOL'd at your "Yes, from British people." ... even if it was in a talking head and not to her face.  I'm one who bought your book recently.  I read it and cried and cried and cried.  I don't consider myself a tragedy whore, since it genuinely devastated me when John Kennedy, Jr. died, and I don't revel in that devastation.  He was Prince Charming for my generation.   It still hurts when I think of it -- which is in no way to say that how someone who knew him feels about it is equal to my pain.  But your book brought me back to that night when someone said "pray for John John" and I asked "why?" ... and you were there ... and now you're here.  I don't get why, but I so appreciate that you are part of this cast.  You're the first REAL person, it seems, to inhabit the RHW world.I think you are probably one of those people that everyone thinks could be their friend -- that if they knew you, they'd be one of your friends.  It's a valuable quality.   Thanks for the great blogs!  Thanks for sharing your sense of humor and truths. 

tookieclothespin
tookieclothespin

this is the flipping funniest blog! It's just like we were there trudging throught the trip with you- i am exhausted just reading it! You are amazingly patient after all the traveling and sleep and meal deprivation- I would have s n a p p e d ! Congratulations on your show- we will all watch it and wish you well!

 

Lambypie68
Lambypie68

What a great addition you are.  You are one cool cat.   Well done. 

janb55
janb55

Carole--love your blogs- they are hilarious. LuAnn doesn't see how ridiculous she is trying to "one-up" you all the time.

Jerseygirlforlife
Jerseygirlforlife

Carole it is so refreshing to have you as a housewife, class, intelligence, an

markdenn
markdenn

 oh, the post-epistolary quality of your writing is refreshment to this addicted RHO... watcher.

 

dizzygirl333
dizzygirl333

First...you are awesome.

Poll question answer...on the outside air conditioning unit behind an Irish/Chinese Bar called Mc Wang's... :)

monicabellucistwinnot
monicabellucistwinnot

Did you say you lived in London for 24 months?  How sweet.  I lived there for 24 years, where I bought a house in Belgravia, darling.  I sold it recently to Prince Andrew.  Such a charming chap; we're very close.  All of this of course was before I had sex on a ping pong table with a Prussian prince in Panarea.  I know what your thinking.  You're right-  it was in the penthouse.

 

Carole darling, isn't it astounding that after all these years, given how important I am that we've never met?

monicabellucistwinnot
monicabellucistwinnot

You didn't have "high tea", you had what is called "afternoon tea".  Afternoon tea is a more formal setting where scones with Cornish clotted cream and jam are served.  This is  followed by small sandwiches and finally dainty cakes and pastries  High tea is more of a supper where meat or fish is served.  Sorry be to a nudge in correcting you- it's just that I'm sleep deprived and it's been really bugging me.

SZara
SZara

I  really like you because you are laid back unlike the rest but I do hope you wont be those people who pick on little things like having the floor or last word to speak, it's too petty.

I didnt think luann did on this episode (next one im not sure), she added a convo when you were done. Last week with your pilot Ramona did but failed. 

NeutronBomb
NeutronBomb

Carole, while I appreciate you a very witty/charming in these blogs...I think you are too cerebral for a trashy reality TV show about Housewives! On paper, you are very engaging...but on TV, you appear aloof and distant. Your writer's wit doesn't translate across on TV, sadly. All the best though xo

mwoth2004
mwoth2004

I think you are the most boring housewife EVER! You are too "heady" for me. You stood in front of your apartment building, gazing, and boring everyone about your life experience there - oh, yawn. If I were there, I would remind you, "We are supposed to be shopping, not standing around looking at a building you used to live in."  Oh, did I mention, you are boring. I fast forward through your dissertations every week. BORING.

Bonz25
Bonz25

Great blog Carole - it's true that  sleep deprivation  and hunger can wreak havoc on a persons patience but I have to say even your sarcasm  has grace and humor. You hold the title of princess with a lack of pretense which I find refreshing.... u take out the stuffy and add a rock vibe. - Bravo has a new star :-).

 

KOBannon26
KOBannon26

I love love love you!  I read your book and thought you were an amazing wife.  I know it could not have been easy.  Your friendship with John and Carolyn was beautiful.  To know she was such a good friend to you is comforting.  Such a beautiful young woman to have such a kind heart, (to be as beautiful on the inside as she was on the inside) makes me smile.  You always hear the bad stuff...  You are awesome one the housewives and I wish you the best of luck in all you do!!!  Amazing career....  as sad as your marriage was, you have been blessed to have known the people you have known, to be as smart and beautiful as you are.  I'm sure you know all of this.  I just wanted to acknowledge it.  You rock!

dealioj
dealioj

I never got into RHONY, I watched all the others but not New York. It used to bore me, Im so glad you are on now. Now I watch and have it on dvr. I like your laid back attitude. You got a cool side to you. Thanks for making it interesting.

indyvoter6
indyvoter6

You are absolutely my favorite newcomer to the show!  You are so smart and funny.  I am on my way to buy your book now, and I can't wait to see the new show based on your book when it comes to television.  You are fabulous!!

SoFLAHousewife
SoFLAHousewife

Truly Authentic!  A pleasure to read your posts and watch you on TV!  Congrats on the TV Series coming, but bigger things are in your horizon!  You will fly solo soon.

shoecrazy
shoecrazy

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! I wish I could find people like you in real life to be friends with :) Where's all the funny, smart, down-to-earth girls like you? Oh, and I also love the way you dress. I guess I'm your new super fan... xo

housewifeflfan
housewifeflfan

You may have had more fun with Romona that the Countess! Speaking of sleep deprived, I stayed up all night reading a book that reminded me of you.  Didn't you mention that your mother had five children in five years!  This family had the same.  It was called My Mother Killed Christ: But God Loves Me Anyway.  Loved it.

jrock858585
jrock858585

I literally laugh out loud when watching.  I've never commented before, but I have to say, I think you are hysterical & a great addition to the show!

obleo
obleo

I so agree - funny stuff  -

kiki13
kiki13

 @monicabellucistwinnot Oh Dahhling!  You forgot the invitations to walk the Corgis every afternoon with You-Know-Who!!   (curtsey)

Hecuba
Hecuba

 @monicabellucistwinnot 

While you *are* correct, it's a pretty innocent mistake for an American. However, a COUNTESS who is practically from Europea should have noticed this.

Bonz25
Bonz25

 Did you read her blog? Cut her some slack for sleep deprivation - a  NY times best seller may have a little more interest than you give her credit for

SPW816
SPW816

@Bonz25 Thanks for saying exactly what I was thinking (in regards to mwoth2004).