We all know the routine by now, we have lunch so we can talk behind backs. If you aren't invited to lunch it's probably because you need to be talked about. Or, as I prefer to describe it, we talk about our friends when they aren't there.
It's a time-honored tradition, pay attention the next time you have lunch. We collect and analyze information about people we are interested in. It's one of the oldest means of gathering information, and the conceit of the show. Wink. Wink.
After we collect and analyze our data we decide we must go to Miami. Mostly to meet Aviva's sex addict Dad. We are all going to go, except for Heather and LuAnn, but they don't care that they're excluded from this trip because they're tall.
We toast to Miami. And then to sex addicts. And then to the tall handsome bachelor behind Door Number Three. Or maybe we were toasting to Sonja's tiara and my Upper East Side coat. I can't remember. We toast a lot. You have no idea how many times we toast. We toast to this and that and that and this. For every toast you see, there are 27 more toasts that you don't.
Logo No-go Meeting
Stay tuned, kids. This is the beginning of what I’m going to call the Toaster Oven War, TOW for short. Pay attention to Sonja’s skepticism but also Heather’s expertise and Big Gun James Bernard who hasn't even seen the original photo shoot for the cover of the cookbook which by the way, two years later, Tina Fey is still waiting for. (Where's the book?)