Cast Blog: #RHONY

Vanity, Pride, and Prejudice

Ramona on Her Divorce From Mario

Carole on Elitists and Bitches

Heather Says That's a Wrap

Sonja: Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously

The Countess: Sonja and I Are on the Outs

Aviva Says Bye for Now

Kristen on Surviving Her First Season

LuAnn: For Ramona Ignorance Is Bliss

Who Cares How Carole Wrote Her Book?

Carole on Stupid Things You've Heard on Bravo

Aviva's "Foul Ignorance"

Kristen: Ramona's Out of Touch with Reality

Sonja Is Very Private

Ramona on the Grueling Reunion

LuAnn: Sonja Is Off the Rails

Heather: Et tu Ramona Singer?

Aviva on Kristen's "Gatemouth" Look

Kristen: Sonja Could Be Successful

Sonja's Glad Aviva Threw Her Leg

Carole: Waiter, We're Done

Ramona: Aviva's Leg Scared All of Us

Heather Focuses on What Matters

LuAnn: Sonja Only Has Herself to Blame

What Else Does Aviva Have in That Bag?

Aviva: Leggy Blonde

God Gave me a Great Ass and His Approval

Sonja on Her Harry Situation with LuAnn

Ramona: Where Did the Time Go With Avery?

Heather Tips to Plan a Party for Carole

Aviva Rises Above the Nonsense

Love Kristen Tender

Sonja and Harry Aren't Good for Each Other

Ramona: Mario's Voice Is So Sexy

Aviva Defends Her Asthma

Heather's Sasha Fierce Moment

Nothing Is Too Romantic for Sonja

LuAnn: I Sing When I Feel Like Singing

Kristen: This Show Has Helped My Marriage

Carole: Oh Beautiful for Spacious Skies. . .

Ramona: Just Don't Ask Me to Go Every Year

Vanity, Pride, and Prejudice

Carole recaps the season so far, address LuAnn's comments, and has some questions for what's yet to come.

Dear Readers,

We’ve come so far, we've seen so much! This week marks the halfway point of the season so let's recap. Since our first episode, "A New New York," we've learned some things.

The ladies toast to everything.
I like to wear capes.
My boyfriend Russ is cool.
My boyfriend Russ writes me songs.
Heather is Jewish by injection.
Sonja likes handymen.
I like my boozy brunch.
Aviva likes things on the ground.
Millsaps can fix anything.
My downstairs neighbor is Tripp.
Tripp knows how I like coffee.
Heather talks a lot.
Ramona talks a lot.
Ramona wasn't invited to London.
LuAnn's mother gave birth to seven kids.
LuAnn gave birth to two kids and a book.
I only gave birth to two books.
I am better than everyone at croquet.
Aviva has the same leg bag as Eric Clapton.
Aviva has three legs, or maybe four.
I learned how to tweet.
I almost married Tom Cruise.
We talk about friends when they're not there.
I invite everyone to the party.
Heather has an assistant.
I am looking for an assistant.
I am looking for between one and three interns.
My sister, Teresa, has morning meals.
Aviva's dad has lots of sex.
Aviva’s mother-in-law does not have sex on Sundays.
Heather Hollas.
Heather doesn't flinch when she's waxed.
Heather wears and sells shapewear.
Ramona drinks and sells Pinot.
Ramona knows a lot about wine.
Ramona knows nothing about real estate.
Mario is bottling his calming scent.
LuAnn is taller than Sonja.
Sonja knows her crumb trays.
Cara Quici's booty pops.
Don't forget the notepads.

Vanity, Pride and Prejudice
Harry is back! Woo-Hoo! And everyone at our Le Cirque table has slept with him, including Jacques and the blonde sommelier.

Dinner was a little. . .awkward. Wasn't it? And I'm not just talking about my hair. Mario and Jacques played "Yes you did, No I didn't" and LuAnn. . .well, LuAnn is not an Aborigine.

 

Sigh. The term "Indian" is a pejorative term, here and in Canada, too. I have Indian friends. Ranjana and Naeem are Indians, they're from India. Luann's just messing with me, right? She has to be. Columbus thought he landed in India and called the people he saw Indians. He didn't and they're not. They're Native Americans. It's not complicated.

It seems to me that LuAnn calls attention to her background not out of pride but out of vanity. Pride is about your opinion of yourself. Vanity is how you would like others to see you. In this case LuAnn wants people to think she is exotic, so she refers to her background without knowing much about it. We have a shameful past with Native Americans in this country -- we nearly annihilated the native population and have a long history of negative stereotypes and discrimination toward them. Call me crazy, but I think jokes about scalping and rape and pillage are inappropriate.

No one uses "darling" anymore but I can because I am an Indian? WHAAAAAT?!?

The Trick of the Ramona Pinot. . .
This sounds like the title of a Nancy Drew mystery. I've decided I want a husband. I want a husband to fight my battles. I'm on Team Mario.

Things got a little uncomfortable at dinner and when that happens, Housewife Rule #28 comes into play: Go to the bathroom. We do it all the time but you usually miss them. You've missed a lot of bathrooms.

Speaking of Bathrooms, Holy Poopy the Pig, it's Harry Dubin! The man of rebounds and bubble baths and, apparently, quite powerful charm. It must be very potent charm because to see him is. . .well. All I'll say about Harry is his son Harrison is one of the sweetest kids I've ever met.

Brokeback Mountain Out of a Molehill. . .I Can't Quit You!
TOW (The Oven War) ignites! And Big Guns is Back! Do you think he has a sexy "J"? Who buys toaster ovens, anyway? I think Big Guns is right. I'd buy one with the naked guy on it and keep it in the box.

What other meeting earlier? Once again, they didn't bring notepads. If everyone would just bring their notepads, no one would be confused. No wonder it was a waste of time.

I like the term Lunch Friend, I want more Lunch Friends and fewer clients. Sonja is not a client, she is a friend. Poor Heather. No good deed goes unpunished and Heather is being punished -- maybe for not inviting Ramona to London.

Two set ups, two photo shoots, but no one on the set? Sonja's not a good negotiator, she's bankrupt. Her lousy ex-husband Mr. Morgan took all the cash and the yacht. Did you see Heather tacitly agree with Big Guns about the closed set? Good luck with that one. Lunch or no lunch, friends like a photoshoot. That's all I'll say about that.

I Need Splenda and Milk
Tripp is the best neighbor. And guess what? I hired an intern! He's the first of my one to three. His name is Eric. I met him on the sidewalk one night -- he recognized me from the show. He is a social media genius and he puts two Splendas in my coffee. Now if anyone wants to contact me they must do it through Eric. I'm like Heather in Episode 2, I'm having my intern book my play dates.

Jingle Bells. . .
This party was nuts. All I have to say is: I Love my dress! Naeem and Ranjana gave it to me for the party and then let me keep it. I’m holding the fifth.

 

What's in store for the rest of our season? I've been watching the Olympics and I learned a new term: Outside Smoke. They use it in swimming to describe a swimmer who leads or wins from an outside lane. I know what's coming up and I promise you there is a lot of Outside Smoke.

I’m also hoping that these important questions get answered:

#10: Did Sonja fix her drip patterns?
#9: Did Noel pass French and Math?
#8: Will Sonja ever produce a toaster oven with a crumb tray?
#7: Will we get to taste a mac and cheese truffle?
#6: When do I get to walk first into the room?
#5: Is "egg drop" a real expression, I couldn't find it anywhere.
#4: What else can you do with a bidet?
#3: Are there any documented cases of women accidentally birthing books and not babies?
#2: Will Aviva find her swimming leg?
And the #1 question inquiring minds want to know:
Will Sonja ever get her sexy J?

Check out face yoga here. As always, you can buy What Remains here. Contact me on my website here. Follow me on Twitter here, Facebook here, Pinterest here.

The Countess: Sonja and I Are on the Outs

LuAnn reveals that her relationship with Sonja is still broken, and dishes on a possible new dance single.

Here we are, the end of another great Season! Personally for me, I'm so grateful to Bravo for giving me the opportunity to share my life and lessons learned once again with you!

The double date I had with Carole did look worse than it actually was. We all had a great time talking about the realities of dating these days and Carole opened herself up to Nick who was good looking, but is clearly not into having a serious relationship -- to put it kindly. I've grown very fond of Carole and think she's a great girl who has plenty of opportunities to date, but at the end of the day, she really likes being independent! Plus, it's hard to find a good man these days!

When Carole first started the show she thought she really knew me and had judged me! The show is just a small glimpse into my life as there are so many lives to follow. I'm not surprised she had preconceived notions about me. It's hard to get to know someone well through Housewives! Since then, we've spent more time together and have gotten a lot closer.

Speaking of being close. . .Carole and Heather are tight! I understand why Heather came to Carole's defense towards Aviva -- that's what you do when you're a true friend! I would prefer she doesn't say MF, but that's what I like about Heather. . .She's GANGSTA CHIC! (maybe that's my new dance single. . .LOL). She really doesn't care what people think. I thought Aviva said enough to Carole that was hurtful, so throwing out the age comment was really uncalled for!

I admire Heather. She has two beautiful children, a huge business to run and Housewives! Wonder Woman indeed. The way she handles her son and his illness on the show is inspirational!! I wish there were more women like her on the planet!

When Ramona brought up Sonja's financial problems I was surprised. It's really considered inappropriate to talk about the money problems of others! Like I said, "Karma's a bitch!" I hope Ramona is in a good financial place after the unfortunate split up of her and her husband! Can't even say his name. I've never been very fond of that man! NO big loss for Ramona! Ramona is a survivor and will do just fine!

I'm sure its not the first time Aviva has thought about throwing her leg at someone? It's highly likely she gave it thought. I'm not so sure how these things work but it came off really quickly? LOL! Thank goodness she has many limbs!



On that note, what a Season 6 we've had. Our trip to Montana was epic for me so, Thanks to Kristen our newest Housewife for that! I'm happy Carole and I are closer and sad Sonja and I are on the outs. Until now we've had no contact with each other. You all know how I feel about Ramona, and Aviva still has her leg by the way. I love all of you ladies for whatever crazy reason! Doing the show is a very bonding experience that most people don't get to have so again, I'm grateful!

So for the moment, I'm enjoying the last weeks of summer with my kids and in no time will be getting them back to school! So very proud of my kids. I'm also very busy working on my apparel collection for ShopHQ for Fall. Hope to see you all again soon!!!

Love,
LuAnn

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