Cast Blog: #RHONY

Pot Kettle Black

Heather responds to Ramona's digs and discusses making memories with her family.

Hi Everyone! I hope you enjoyed this episode. For my part, it was clearly meaningful, and I anticipate some of you will begin to get to know me better after watching.

As you see, Ramona took a shot at me again in this episode during her lunch with Aviva. And while I agree that I have a lot to say and that it certainly appears that I talk A WHOLE LOT, I don't agree with the "interrupting" comments. My "engaging in a conversation" is a sign of enthusiasm, and when Ramona (of all people) gives me grief about it, it is truly the pot calling the kettle black. I mean, did you see her conversation with LuAnn? It seems that everyone has the same issue when communicating something to Ramona that she does not deem important.

In the first episode, I shared that my father passed. What you may not have realized is that it was days before the show began. Some people actually criticized me for sharing this, calling me "Debbie Downer" or "someone with issues." But, no matter. Watching this episode brought up a lot of emotion for me and my sister, Sherry. My dad's life affected mine. And, aside from my mother, I don't think there was anyone prouder of me.

Although my dad had a really difficult time showing it, he loved me, and I had an enormous amount of love for him and felt proud of him on many levels. Discovering my dad's box of pictures from his time in the Korean War and finding the poem that he wrote while fighting there gave me incredible insight into my complicated father and the mind of a soldier. These are all things that can truly be applied to present day. It also showed off one of the many great talents my father possessed -- he was a poet! I have posted the entire poem my dad wrote on my Facebook page, for those of you who may be interested in reading it in its entirety.

Upstate New York is a very special place for me (and yes, it is a historic area), and it's filled with both childhood memories and new memories that my young family and I are building in the Berkshires. It was an honor inviting you all into that part of my life, as we paid tribute to dad.

There are so many different ways to raise kids, and my husband Jon and I have a casual parenting style -- that we balance with quite a bit of structure and a whole-lotta love. We take joy in parenting our children and raising adults, and we believe kids are kids. The early part of our son Jax's life was lived in the hospital. Jax's challenges (lung and liver issues, plus severe food allergies) are serious issues. Despite his hardships, he is treated like a typical child.



I admit that I sometimes do over-indulge Jax in figurines of superheros and other characters (because he is a true collector of them and he loves to play with them!), but it is my way of making up for all of the hardships that Jax has to endure every day. And, to all of the mothers who have reached out to me whose children are facing challenges, I am so happy that you have connected with us. Not knowing if your newborn is going to live to see his first birthday truly changes you as a person. You learn the hard way, that there is so much in life out of your control and that only the big things in your life are worth all the worry. I also found the belief that in life everything works out as it should, even when we don't understand why.

Doing RHONY is a journey and certainly a very unique opportunity to see yourself as others see you, and I believe it will be positive experience in many ways. I want to thank you for all for your warm feedback, constructive criticisms, and all of your Tweets!

You can learn more about me and my Yummie Tummie shapewear at YummieLife.com.

See you next week!
xx. Heather

Carole on Elitists and Bitches

Carole says what she really thinks of Aviva and all of her talk about her book and things being "ghetto."

Dear Fans,

Let me start with something I stole it from Twitter this week. "The most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth."

I'll say it again. The blonde at the end of the right couch, the one who's prone to lobbing limbs and insults, is an Insulting. Bitch. Some of you didn't believe me. Maybe some of you still don't. But after watching the reunion shows I imagine it's harder and harder to cheer for the anti-hero. Just when you think she can't get any faker she does.

The story according to Aviva makes me laugh: We were arguing, she insulted me, I called her a psychopath and that prompted her to affectionately compliment me on my age. Sure. Her disdain for the intelligence of the audience is palpable. It was too stupid for me to even reply. But as I was watching the reunion, and particularly Aviva and the way she treats people, I was reminded of something my Grandma Millie used to say. (I love everything Grandma Millie used to say.) "At 25, you have the face you're born with. At 45 you have the face you deserve."

I'd rather be 50 and me than be 45 and Aviva, any day of the week. She aged worse this season than a president in his first term. Holy short dress, I don't mind at all how I look. Overbite and all. I'll take it.

When I first met Aviva she was lovely. Really lovely. I meant what I said on the couch, I wish we had seen more of that. Her easy laugh and funny neurotic ways. Instead all we saw was a mean and angry woman. All because I asked her if she hired a writer -- a writer she did hire. It makes no sense. Three years ago she told me she'd read my memoir, What Remains. This was a book published in 2006 about my childhood, my family, my career and marriage, and then the death of my husband, Anthony Radziwill. A man I loved more than anyone I had loved before or have loved since. She gushed over my book. She quoted from it. We hugged. She seemed so sincere. Flash forward and she now believes it was written by a ghostwriter. She even knew his name, and it wasn't Truman Capote. It was Bill Whitworth, she told me. She repeated this over and over to anyone who would listen. And it doesn't matter how many times she repeats it -- it will never make it true.

When they stopped listening she started saying in the press and on social media that not only was my book written by someone else but that it was not my place to have written a book about my life, and my marriage. And, as if I didn't remember, she reminded me that I'd written about people who had died. Um, yeah. I know. It was my husband and my family and my closest friend who died. Just. . .wow. But I wasn't important enough to tell my story because my husband's family was famous, or historic or whatever she said. Because they had money and privilege and yachts. Really. Who do I think I am?

I’ll tell you. I’m a girl from upstate New York who grew up in a loving, if sometimes kooky, Italian working class family. I worked for everything I earned, just like my parents did and their parents before them. I have a proud family history of hard work and small but precious rewards that followed. My family won't be in any history books. I didn't grow up privileged. We didn't spend summers in Europe or Christmas in Palm Beach. A day spent at the town pool or playing in the woods behind our house was great. Much like Heather, I was taught strong values and decent manners. I learned to live with integrity and honesty. I'm proud of my upbringing and the woman I became, as was my husband. As is his family to this very day. I've known people who lived in what Aviva would consider the "ghetto" who have more class and decency than she shows.

All this talk about class and ghetto -- you'd think we were living in communist Russia. Here is the thing. This is America. In our country it doesn't matter a lick where you are from, it only matters where you're going. So don’t let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough because you didn’t grow up on Park Avenue or in a family that had some history, or because you enjoy saying mother-f---er now and then. I’ve met people from all walks of life. I spent time in refugee camps in Southeast Asia, and in the projects of Chicago. I've been to State dinners with Presidents. I met the Queen of England on a beach in Anguilla. No one is any more valuable or important than you are. No one is more important than your family and your friends.

Let the elitists go slow into the night.

In spite of the BookGate dust up I had a great time this season. I made wonderful new friends in LuAnn and Kristen and my friendship with Heather is more special and important to me than I could have ever imagined just three years ago. Friends have each other's backs. I love her, madly. And while we didn't always act appropriately, we had a lot of laughs. I hope you did too.

Thank you all for your supportive and funny and brilliant tweets. And while we didn't all agree on everything all of the time I enjoyed your participation in the show. Even the mean tweets about my skinny neck and my overbite were amusing. Like I said, I've stolen some tweets already. You may see others as dialogue in my next book, and yes, you can all say you were my ghostwriters.

As always,

With love, Writer Girl xoxo

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