How to Succeed in Business Without Having a Notepad
Episode 3: Bravotv.com's Editor discusses facial yoga, Cipro, and skateboards.
Hello RHONY fans. I hope you have enough mimosas and Cipro to handle all that this episode has to offer. Let's recap shall we?
The Bronx is Burning But Aviva Has Cipro
After a delightfully boozy brunch spent discussing doing a little Carole (which, according to Aviva, just means wearing leather shorts -- get your minds out of the gutter), more of Harry Dubin's former conquests, and whether happy folks get pushed in front of trains, the ladies head to a rooftop bar to grab a drink.
This sounds simple enough -- but it's not. Our darling Aviva has some issues. But as she admits, she's got a pretty good excuse: "Because I lost my leg being trapped in a conveyer belt, I'm just always afraid of being trapped in other kinds of machines." I don't think there's any way you can accuse the woman of being too careful now. Take all the hazmat suits and antibiotics you want, love. You earned it?
Also re: this brunch, I love so much that Sonja ate before she came. I feel you lady! Sometimes I just want to strap on the old feedbag in my own home.
However, one precaution she's less than worried about is a wedding band on her fellow. Apparently that might have a reverse effect, in Aviva's mind. Reid wants to know who would hit on him? Anyone with a love of Hush Puppies, "I can finish the job" shirts, and quilted vests says Sonja, and I agree. He was working a look. Plus, as we see later, he's excellent at teaching children how to pretend shave. What a charmer!
A Baby Grows in Brooklyn
In other news, LuAnn is pondering if she'll be living Chic C'est La Pregnant sometime soon. Has Fertile Myrtle wandered too far off-course though?
At least Victoria thinks the baby would be good looking.
Also, LuAnn on a skateboard. As if i wasn't going to include that gem.
The Queens of Business
Next we're treated to one of my favorite things -- seeing Ramona Singer at work. Yes, Sonja has stopped by the office to discuss her new business ventures. Sonja swirls about speaking of costumes, crumb trays, and guest lists. However, Ramona wants to drive this bus with the eye for industry she's always had -- which means Sonja, really, really needs to get a notebook.
The secret to Ramona's success is notepads. Get me twenty!
Sonja does get a second opinion from Ramona's nemesis, Heather Thomson. She has some delightful advice -- and a proposition. Why don't the ladies jaunt off to London? They'll be able to drink in the day time and it won't matter. Hoorah!
Staten Island of Love
Ramona and Mario and Carole, sitting in a tree? F-l-i-r-t-i-n-g. I know, I know, it's a less elegant song, but how precious was their effervescent dinner? Carole in her wintery best, beers flowing like wine, Italian phrases punctuating the air, Carole debating how long she has left to pull off a 20 year marriage. . .
And while we already found the secret to Ramona's business success, we squeeze out another mystery this episode. It seems the reason their marriage has lasted so long is that she loves his fragrance. I've never smelled Mario, but now it's literally all I can imagine! What is the smell that holds Ramona's attention for so long? What could it be? Is it oaky with an attentive top note? Musky with a hint of boyish good looks?
Manhattan Major Moment
After all of that hullabaloo about wedding rings, Aviva decides to take Mrs. TrueFaith herself to pick out a band for her man. However, as it's wont to do, a speakerphone call sends the whole afternoon into a tizz. It seems Heather isn't inviting Ramona across the pond, and now that Aviva spoke to Mrs. YumTum over the communal call, the cat is out of the bag.
Surely this will be addressed at the jewelry launch party all the ladies are invited to, after of course the topic of facial yoga is discussed.
Yes, this is the secret to eternal youth says Manhattan's elite. And I was worried I'd have to enter into some sort of Death Becomes Her-style agreement to keep the inklings of attractiveness I have. At least I'm not blonde (Aviva said they don't age well, but I'm not sure that's how aging works).
Anyway, once the goodie bags have been tended and LuAnn and Ramona have managed to not maim each other, the goodwill continues. Ramona decides to clear the air with Heather, and extend her apologies over that whole departed dad debacle.
After a brief discussion of bubble baths with Harry, perfect prototypes (the second was about toaster ovens), and very dead plants (she loved it to death, which coincidentally is the name of another early '90s movie I adore. Stop playing to everything in my wheelhouse ladies!) Ramona waltzes over and apologizes.
Heather seems thrilled with the apology, so hopefully this is the road to recover for these two. Perhaps all will work well and the gang will be riding a double-decker bus together in no time. . .
Or perhaps not by the looks of our previews.
But now I put the cause to you: would you have asked Ramona on the trip if you were Heather? Would you have a baby with Jacques and teach him to skateboard? Do you have a doomsday kit in your apartment that includes faux razors for your children to entertain themselves in the case of rolling blackouts? Leave your thoughts in the comments.