LuAnn de Lesseps

LuAnn discusses the term "Indian," her musical mishap, and Sonja's outburst.

on Aug 7, 20120

Jacques and I have been talking about having a child together for a while now, and he would like to have children -- but it is not a deal breaker for our relationship. I love him very much and if we have a child together it would make us both very happy. I know that I said that I would have a baby to keep Jacques but I didn't mean it the way it sounded.

It was very inappropriate for Sonja to share her feelings about my relationship with Jacques at a party in front of the women. Sonja's outburst at Jacques wasn't about Jacques, it was about her and the pain she stills feels over her marriage. She got pretty worked up, but Jacques, always a gentleman, listened to Sonja politely even if he completely disagrees.

154 comments
lucia.sousaquong
lucia.sousaquong

I must say that after watching this episode I lost respect for one of my favorite housewives. Making fun of any race is not okay. I am not so concerned with the term Indian or Native or in Canada the term First Nations is appropriate. I use First Nations or Native out of respect. However, I take issue with the phrase and I will paraphrase as I can't recall the exact wording "hang onto your scalps ladies"! This was horrific and shocking. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I found it to be beyond offensive. And basically LuAnn was stereotying and I thought she was more tactful than this. 

df7169
df7169

I agree with KijaP below.  Also, if Lu is claiming to be so refined and classy she might try not talking with her mouth full of food.

KijaP
KijaP

Most Native Americans I know do not say they're Indian or Native American. They say there are Arapaho, Shoshone, Wampanoag, Assiniboine or whatever tribe to which they belong. You seem to see being Native American as something exotic, particularly when you fetishize it with the war whoops and scalp comments and tolerate Jacques "savages" comment. A lot of white Americans bring up their nominal Native American heritage thinking it makes them interesting. It's astounding how many descend from Cherokee princesses, too. That seems to be the way you view your heritage - as a talking point, a touch of exoticism. Why else would so demean and diminish indigenous people's heritage with your whoops and scalping? It was truly a shameful exhibition that left me stunned and appalled. 

 

I think most Americans know better than that. Perhaps if you write another book of etiquette, you might address cultural sensitivity and how to avoid cultural exploitation in conversation. 

 

 

JacqM@Texas
JacqM@Texas

I applaude Jacques for his gracious demeanor!  The two of you compliment each other nicely!  Sonja was out of line for her supportive outburst...it seems Ramona's fat mouth is contagious.  Too bad you left before Carole, Heather and Aviva made their "lets not be mean girls" pact!  Hmmmmm  :) 

Pleiades333
Pleiades333

I think the behavior at the cocktail party toward you and Jacques was awful.  And then the comments said after you left was a continuation of nasty ...these ladies are just beyond belief in lack of manners and filters.   You go LuAnn

ecantu
ecantu

Darling! luv ya!

LadyK2507
LadyK2507

LuAnn stop acting silly like those other women girl you are too classy!  Girl continue to do you sweetie and please stop trying to hard to get along with crazy ass Ramona she is not worth it.  As for Carole shes being petty overlook her and keep it moving.

Mustard
Mustard

Don't let the Ramona fans who post such negative comments to/about you bother you one bit.  Ramona needs to control her jealousy.

Cari__Leffew
Cari__Leffew

Dearest Countess LuAnne,

 

What an HONOR! I hope you read this. Why? Because I, like you, am Cajun. One of the last of the Cherokee/Choctaw/French AND on the maternal side for my father was the Trail of Tears, so I have one of the coolest Indian names! "Running Bull" The chief named me that in Cherokee, NC when I was 4, 30 years ago since when I ran, I'd put my head down and run to him to jump in his arms. LOL!

 

You have EVERY right to do any Native thing you want. Whoop in a classy restaurant, do a rain dance outside a runway show, stop and get in touch with your Native side and track something you have lost...try it, you will be surprised. I surprise myself ALL the time.

 

And you ARE classy. VERY. You walk like Cleopatra reincarnated!!!! That's GLAMOROUS!!!! I would get EVERY Cosmopolotan, Glamour or any magazine that had you on the cover just because you ignore all negative energy. A lot of people call that ignorance or stupidity. God calls it being a Christian. You always help people and aid them. Please, don't change!

 

Good luck with you and Jacques!

real1housewife
real1housewife

You need to reread your book. you are classless. By the way the term is native american, they were here before us. Your fake storyline is getting old, you need to go the way your friend jill did. goodbye!

MirePoix
MirePoix

LuAnn:  What happened to having manners and grace?  Did it leave with the Count?  Your behavior at the dinner party was appalling---to every race.  And the wine tasting was mean--and childish. You see Jacques as a gentleman and composed--we see a guy that doesn't stand up for his partner or his relationship.

methinks
methinks

Your "classy" facade is melting fast:)

Ladie_K
Ladie_K

Hello Ms. LuAnn,There are so many comments about your use of the term Indian (which was fine) and your inappropriate shenanigans re: Native Americans afterwards (that were not fine), I'm just gonna let that one go.  What was really shocking to me was that you thought it was perfectly okay to go to a stranger and ask to borrow a dress from his shop.  From ANY stranger, that is highly inappropriate after a first meeting.  But to do that to a friend of a friend, after you were referred to them, and for that designer to be of the caliber he is was just totally rude and inappropriate.  Of course he felt some sort of obligation to not be rude to you because he didn't know how close/not close you were to his dear friend.  And you leveraged that.  Not cool.The big surprise is not that you did it, it's that you constantly purport yourself to be the expert on etiquette and class.  Well, I'm here to tell you, what you did with Carole's friend was nothing short of crass, not to be mistaken with class.Hope to see better from you...

 

Ladie K

Alka
Alka

LuAnn, I just don't get you. I have been watching you since day one and I liked you. Then with the whole Ramona thing and the song, I kinda fell out of liking you. 

 

I am still trying to figure you out but I kind of think that you are a genuine person but you are too caught up in your public image that there is this complete fakeness about you. You should try to be more real on TV and show your true self and I think you will gain a huge amount of fans.

Bedford
Bedford

LuAnn, it's painfully obvious that you've taken a page from Jill's book in regard to the more recent posts on this blog. Stay honest; don't stoop to underhanded means to achieve popularity.

CalGalPS
CalGalPS

I am a card carrying Serrano Native American and a Tribal Member of one of the biggest Tribes in California.  We like to be called Native American and Carole had that right!!  Please don't insult us!!!  

rosha1953
rosha1953

Dear Countess love you on the show ,if you were not on the show I would not watch because it would be boring and I really like Heather and you two are the real deal. The rest are crazy and if they act that way in real life they need help. Well you can't deal with crazy and Caroles crazy she's going to come after you every time she gets a chance she jealous of you and very insecure when it has any thing to do with you. Just keep coming back at her like you're doing hopefully she will realize you're not taking her craziness and will leave you alone . Remember your fans are on your side and when she starts we will be there to defend you! You make the show and when are we getting a new song from you ?

cehemise
cehemise

While I agree that people should be able to define themselves as they see fit, what followed, at the restaurant was unwarranted.

tabatha91
tabatha91

Am I the only one that heard Jacques say "It's a nice term for Savages"! What the hell was that?

grannypl6
grannypl6

My Dear Countess,

Like you, I am a Nadeau. Our ancestors originally came from France to settle in the New France. Many many of our ancestors married the Indian women and had them baptized and then anglicized their names. 

they called themselves Indians and we grew up knowing we were part Indian, and have never felt politically incorrect for using that term. 

Yes people now say Native Americans, but we referred to ourselves always as part Indian. Do not change a bit, dear lady. You are perfect the way you are. 

diisco.ronnie
diisco.ronnie

Oh c'mon Countess,  you loved the band you dirty girl.  Not everyone gets a serenade like that.  You should feel special.

The Stumblebums

@Stumblebums

vierachick
vierachick

Lu Ann you are one of the only sane housewives, possibly the only one. I know people give you a hard time about talking about your privileged life but I understand you are just being friendly, conversational and sharing your experiences. I grew up as a Social Registrite from the Main Line in Philadelphia and find in my mid 40's that I have to filter myself a lot to make sure I don't sound braggy but that is only because I live in middle-income town of Florida. You shouldn't have to filter yourself being on a series shot in downtown NYC, people should enjoy and cherish the stories you can bring to the table about your fascinating and worldly life. Keep on keeping it classy! You represent the "fortunate" very well.

Karmin
Karmin

Luann, I posted this to Heather's blog. I would like you to see it, as well. I opened an account here as I do not read these blog, just to post this comment.

 

Heather, I just watched the show where you told Lu Anne (spelling?) that "no one over third grade refers to Native Amercians as American Indians.that it is insulting.."  As an AMERICAN INDIAN , I would like to politely inform you that YOU have no authority to speak for us. WE, my entire family,  are quite above the third grade in age and are well educated professionals who proudly call ourselves AMREICAN INDIANS.  I like you on the show, however, please do not assume that YOU know what everyone likes.  You're desire to be politically correct about all issues, shows a bit of insecurity.  Speak for yourself, your opinion. Do not assume that you know what everyone wants to be referred to as.  It's quite obivious you think you are more intelligent, as well as more successful than the other ladies on your show.  You appear to be an excellent mother to your son, who is precious and well loved. However, your attitude when speaking to Lu Ann was rude and classless, in my humble opinion. Sometimes, my dear, less is more. You try a bit too hard to impress and it is becoming more obvious with each show. 

 

My family, for many generations, were PROUD to be called INDIAN and we STILL are. We don't need to change our 'tag line' to follow the sheep that feel they only fit in by being 'politcally correct'. We are confident enough, in ourselves, to not change the race NAME just because some may feel it's needed.  So from THIS proud AMERICAN INDIAN and our ENTIRE family, our generations before were proud to be called INDIAN and these generations still living,  still are.   You have no idea what you are talking about.  If Lu Anne carries American Indian in her blood, then SHE has the right to choose WHAT she chooses to be called.  I don't recall a vote where we changed that right.  YOU have no Indian blood in you that you spoke of, so let US, each of us, choose how WE like to wear our 'label'... You were trying to make Lu Anne appear stupid. It backfired.. you were the one who appeared..shall we say... talking out your backside'.. 

 

Thank you. 

 

BonCast
BonCast

I remember when you said you never feld out of place the rich or royal and you feld you fit in, something to that affect.  That's because you think highly of yourself, is that a bad thing, no, but it doesn't seem like you fit in.  You're a square peg in a round hole except you don't know it.   That's just my tv impression of you, I'm sure you're lovely darling.

DangleParticiple
DangleParticiple

LuAnn, as wrong as it might be, I cracked up over your war whoops and "Better watch your scalp, baby!" I have been to more diversity trainings than I can shake a stick at and while I appreciate the good intentions behind them, I see how easily people get fixated on words, rather than actions. I also liked how you took the band debacle in stride, and how relaxed you were during your lunch with Sonja. I've seen flashes of your down-to-earth-ness here and there and hope we see more of it this season.

albertorleyva
albertorleyva

Carole is my favorite, having said that ifit is your heritage you are aloud to call your self whatever you please!

rosha1953
rosha1953

Luann you are a ray of sunshine on this show , Crazy will come at you every time she has the Oppurtunity. She's jealous and Insecure and If she feel the need to be ugly to you avoid her at all cost , I have friends who I speak to and then avoid because some women can't take Strong, tall, smart, pretty women so you get singled out .I love Heather and would not be in another meeting with Ramona she's like Carole ,jealous and insecure and Sonja dosen't realize what a huge favor Heathers doing for her and Sonja Needs to come down from her cloud and Live in the real world one she can afford to live in.I have a feeling that Sonja will follow Ramona Right off the show as soon as Andy realizes the these Two women are ole news and Trouble. Love You keep doing a great Job and Ignore Crazy Carole,

Jeanran
Jeanran

Luann, I think what goes around comes around.  Everyone seems to be playing the same games in their own way. Having grown up around Indians, I was certainly not offended for my friends as that is what they called themselves.

Carol has really disappointed me, I'll leave it at that. In my opinion, Ramona and Sonja are just too unbelievable for words.

Hecuba
Hecuba

You have fabulous style. I'd like to see more style tips, favorite things, etc., on your own site, and not hosted by a celebrity gossip site. 

 

For example, I love all your sunglasses. (Can we name names? OP, TF, etc, I'm guessing.) I especially covet the pair you wore in an old episode where you were in an SUV on your way to the Hamptons with your daughter. Since you probably refresh your collection each season, it really wouldn't hurt to reveal who made them. :) I'm going cross-eyed trying to find identifying details. I'm not saying that I want to copy you, but I do. Even the pair in the photo above, that you didn't buy, are cool.

 

Also... you don't need the "countess" thing as an identity. It's associated with your ex, it's just a word, and look at whom you've moved on to now. ;) You could go back to your maiden name, or even simply LuAnn. None of my business. Just a thought.

NativeAmericanHousewife
NativeAmericanHousewife

Thanks for doing a little bit of research on which name NATIVE AMERICAN'S like being called. I am a Native American I am Dakota! I suggest you find out what your ancestors were and do some research on your culture. I think you did the most generic as seen on old western movies, stereotypical comments ever. You claim to be Native American, and when confronted you panicked and did what you knew which is what you've seen on TV. Take some time seriously and find out who you are a descendent of and believe me you will be very proud, but you will also under the stand the true struggle our people have went through, you will be sad and greatly enlightened, being Native is more than just being born into it. Try not to be so offensive. Western movies are not accurate. You can call your self Indian that isn't the most offensive comment you made the things that followed were very crude and disrespectful!!   

MommaSmurf
MommaSmurf

I am pretty sure had you not started mocking and saying inappropriate things like scalping someone this situation wouldn't have become so uncomfortable, not only for you all but for us viewers as well.  I know you have class Lu but you certainly didn't show it in this case.

lieuelle
lieuelle

You just don't have a clue, do you,  "Mah friend"?

zocola
zocola

OMG...off with her head, she said Indian...LOL. Love you LA. You are a bright and charming female in this strange NY mix.

JudyBarger
JudyBarger

You are my fav!! I think it's wonderful you would like to have a baby with Jaques! Sonya had no business bringing that up after you had confided in her at lunch! She was a bit buzzed though so take it as that! Lol!! As far as Ramona goes : she deserves a little humiliation she can dish it out!! And for Mario to confront Jaques!!! That was really classless!! However you my friend should have stayed at the table! I don't think it was fair for him to take the blunt! This is my first time writing to any of the housewife blogs! So I hope I did ok!!

cgarden
cgarden

If you want to say Indian its YOUR peragative and Carole was foolish!

cgarden
cgarden

I go back and forth but bottom line Sonya was SO out of lilne speaking to you and Jacque like that..kudos to you for behaving like a lady.

backgammon
backgammon

The wine game looked like a set up to me, however I am not a Countess fan.  I think you are always trying to one up anyone, in any discussion.  I hope you watched the game between you and Carole when she decided to Up you one!

The band was horrible and it was good of you to apologize.  I changed the channel.

Since I am 1/16 Native American, a Countess should know what a Princess knows.

I will be forever, a Romona fan simply because she is not snooty and acts like a real person.

A baby, really?

MissMS
MissMS

From the beginning you've thrown around the fact that you're an Indian and a Countess. We all giggle at the Countess bit....especially since he dumped you. But every person of Native American heritage I know is proud to say "I'm Cherokee, or Lakota, or Mohican, or Cheyenne or Black Foot". You never refer tto which tribe you come from. Makes me wonder if you are really Indian after all, or if you are is it enough to be counted as one by the tribal elders.

CKS
CKS

I loved the big wine trick.  Ramona can dish it out but can't take it.  I really miss Alex and Jill.  Should have gotten rid of Romona.  

mari_in_CT
mari_in_CT

I understand thinking about having a child because Jacques is younger than you, but I hope you consider how difficult it is to have much older parents.  A child shouldn't have to worry about their parent getting old and needing assistance when they are in their twenties and still trying to find themselves. 

kikuko45
kikuko45

 @Karmin I'm a proud Native AMERICAN, and I completely disagree with you.  I am so grateful that Carole (not Heather) pointed out on national television that the correct term is Native American.  This is because Native Americans are from America--not India.  Just because you accept this term does not make it acceptable for all Native Americans.  Carole does know what she is talking about.  LuAnne does not.

clptexas
clptexas

 @Karmin

 Very well said Karmin.  We all know you meant CAROLE not Heather.  :)  

mrsdonut
mrsdonut

 @Karmin

 I think you are mistaking Heather for Carol. It was Carol who made the third grade comment. :-) Heather is the woman that Ramona dislikes. 

Michnyc55
Michnyc55

@Hecuba To find Luanne's glasses try optical of Aspen. They carry high end glasses. Very expensive thou.

Lck
Lck

@backgammon I agree!

Hecuba
Hecuba

 @MissMS Symbolically dump him back, by losing the "Countess" thing. You're good enough on your own, without it.

sleeplessinohio
sleeplessinohio

 @CKS I agree, I really stopped watching new york because I couldn't stand ramona

Lck
Lck

@Hecuba @MissMS She doesn't know which tribe, and I'm sure she couldn't care less. For Lulu it's a PR talking point just like her countess schtick, nothing deeper than that.