Pretense is Cheap
Sonja discusses her ex and tries to remember a time when she and Aviva were BFFs.
I was so angry because I wanted closure with my ex above all else and was willing to give up a lot in my settlement financially to keep my daughter in her childhood home.
When I didn’t get my face-to-face with him, and a fair way to do that (not even close, according to my lawyers), I was angry. It's been so long that I have been working and supporting so much on my own beyond what child support can do. My assets and cash are tied up in this divorce and I want what is rightfully mine, and to be independent again so I can move on. If it means losing our home and a lot of what I have worked my whole life for, then I would have to continue in court to fight, in other words sue, for cold cash. It's not what I want to do. . .It takes time, energy, and money away from my daughter.
We were married 10 years and knew each other for seven years before. It’s a large chunk of my existence! As the woman who loved her man dearly, I think I deserve that respect as the mother of such an amazing little girl. I was a good mom and wife.
I invited Lu to help me take down my ex's painting with Pocker and Sons. I trust them to archive it. Ramona doesn’t understand divorce like Lu does, since she has never felt the pain personally. I never would have imagined it ending, myself. NEVER. I didn't mean that Ramona didn't understand the royalty thing BTW. . .that's ridiculous. Ramona certainly understands what it means to be married to a family like my daughter's. It's a big responsibility. I just want to give my daughter all I possibly can.
I was independent and owned my homes before I was married. I had security in the bank, a stock account, and a career -- and I will still have that if the power is mine and God wants that. I filed the Chapter 11 to restructure my assets to satisfy my movie business judgment and to move on with what's left after hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, in all cases being paid by myself.I cried buckets when I saw Millou at the top of the stairs so happy to see me when I got back from the non-meeting with my ex. That’s what I miss, now that he has passed after almost 18 years. He was always there. . .always.
Thank God for Millsaps and Cesar, my support team, that they were there for me as well. I don't know what I would do without them, they are more than just "interns" they are here to see me succeed and to be a part of something exciting. They believe in me or they wouldn't be so supportive and it makes me feel good about myself to have such loyal friends that are here through good and the bad, for the long term. Especially Cesar, he has been with me a good long time through my niece Amina. Millsaps came for a year from the Carolinas but she learned enough for lifetime (mine), and was loyal to the bone. God Bless them. Saved by the bell, Ramona. She is always there.
I'm not asking for a free ride from anyone. I have been working since I was 14 years old. The girls have made comments about checks to charities and what has been done for me free. I resent this. Who are these fast and reckless new friends? Thank God I have Ramona. Geez what are they bashing?
I never brought up who didn’t write checks to my charities or bring gifts to any of my several parties. I do point out who is generous. I have written checks before my Chapter 11 to my fellow 'Wives charities and still do even though I have a strict budget. Ramona has always donated to charities. She also donates wine and her skincare line left and right. I have comp'ed many Sonja In The City Parties on the show for friends and charities over the years.
I have been fortunate to have many donations so that I can raise money for my favorite causes. I just want positive energy around me and my charities whether one can give cash, or not, when they can come and bring something positive to the atmosphere.
Wow! It's not appropriate for George to go out with Carole because Aviva cares for her? What does that say about me and Aviva? No wonder I said I questioned her motives in my earlier blog when she wanted to set me up with George.
Ramona put a fabulous group together of New York elite, and a powerful set of smart women who can make change. She always does. These are not people who she met yesterday. This says a lot about her. Heather also raised a lot of dollars at her charity event. Ramona and I were very impressed with her auction. They can be difficult.
Aviva should have never sent her father to an all-girls event that Ramona was hosting when they are on bad terms. Mail the check. He says he gave thousands and thousands of dollars? Try $500?
Ramona asks George kindly to leave after he makes her uncomfortable at her own event and he doesn't. She accepted his check. She asked him to drop it in the bowl. It didn't even dawn on Aviva to mail it? Come on. . .Ramona asked the WAITERS to escort him from her event. He was tugging on Ramona's arm from the get go, and as she trys to walk away he does it again. Because, like Aviva, if Ramona doesn't say what he wants to hear he pushes. This is classic bullying behavior. Then he says I did wrong! This is not the way to behave.
Then when he calls Ramona "trailer t--d." Oh my. Now we understand where Aviva gets her language from. I feel bad for Aviva at this point. I think George has enabled Aviva, as Carole has. No one has helped Aviva see the truth. Carole has no idea what has gone down at this point. Were they at the same party? I watched and swooped in intuitively as soon as I felt Ramona about to cry. It was obvious body langauge. Hovering, in Ramona's face, pulling her arm. . .
As far as Aviva coming, I don't think it was the time to come. Re: the height of the apt that makes no sense. She went to Ranjana's penthouse, that was a breakthrough as well as the St. James' Hotel rooftop. I was proud of her. We were BFFs back then. What the hell happened????
It pained me to see Ramona take a further lashing from Aviva. Especially when she has to defend me. These are ludicrous accusations. I wish Ramona didnt have to deal. I am standing on my own two feet. I am not out at the Bed Bath and Beyond looking for a husband to support me and my daughter. I am working hard with Sonja in The City. So many parties! And in real time with months and sometimes a year to plan! Not with in days, and with budget!!! Not comped and out of my pocket!!! Yipppppeee!!!
Sonja Home Innovative Living is progressing. I continue to give cooking demos, bottle signings (who knew?) and to spread my lifestyle tips in appearances to all who want to listen. Anything to save time, money and make your family and friends more comfortable with a touch of luxury.
I envision a manufacturing partner making the whole line with me. With my Sonjaisms! Aprons, mitts, mats, dishes, tongs, trays, toaster-oven-ready meals. I enjoy doing it and it comes easy for me to share and entertain. I love to slip on a banana peel to make others feel comfortable.
I say just be yourself, and tell the truth. I like a straight shooter. Someone who will take a stance and stick with it. Even if its your vision, and its different from others, believe in it, and don't flip flop. Worse yet, don't try to be someone else or someone you think people want. Pretense is cheap. "Money cant buy you class!"