Cast Blog: #RHONY

Teachable Moments

Aviva explains her apology to Ramona and Sonja and thinks the ex talk should be put to bed.

"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." -- Benjamin Franklin.

Sometimes I think that instead of calling our show The Real Housewives of New York City it should be called "Teachable Moments." It has been a learning experience. . .An apology, in my opinion, is putting a relationship and another persons feelings before your own ego. It is about making a wrong right. I take an apology very seriously whether I am giving one or receiving one. An apology propels us forward and enables relationships to evolve, grow, and fosters trust. When I apologize, I mean it through words and by actions. It is not about winning, losing, or keeping score.

Tonight I apologized to Ramona and Sonja for the way I spoke to them in St. Barths. I was wrong to allow my emotions get the best of me. As a result, not only did I hurt people, but my message was lost. I have really learned my lesson and only wish that I had sincerely apologized sooner.

Seeing myself get over-emotional I know that I have to take a break before I speak. I need to give myself time to process what is going on and how to reconcile the given situation at hand before I offer my own contribution. I see in retrospect how my emotion sometimes blurred my perspective and how I shared it. My problem was that I often said what I was thinking instead of thinking about what I was saying.

While we are on "apologies". . .I want to apologize for the constant talk of my "leg" and phobias. It appears that I talk about it all the time and I am truly sorry for boring many viewers with what appeared to be repetition. My goal when mentioning these subjects at all was to help others by raising awareness. For those annoyed by the seemingly redundant speak -- you will no longer hear about it. For those who I have helped, I am just an email/Facebook message/tweet away. Thank you to many viewers who simply gave love.

l would like to mention a point about ex-husbands. For the purposes of this show, I chose to discuss and portray my ex-husband on camera in the most positive light for the sake of our child. It is my prerogative to discuss what I choose about my ex-husband as it is Sonja's to discuss hers. While we handled the subject very differently, I think the better course would be to not discuss other peoples exes/divorces without invitation. The stakes are just too high where children are involved.

In recognizing that I made mistakes this season I turned to inspiration and found this important and beautiful quote from Mary Parker Follett:

"What people often mean by getting rid of conflict is getting rid of diversity, and it is of utmost importance that these should not be considered the same. We may wish to abolish conflict, but we cannot get rid of diversity. . .Fear of difference is fear of life itself."

Love,
Aviva

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Heather: It’s Exciting to See Your Friends Find Happiness

Heather thinks everyone should let Carole and Adam enjoy their new relationship.

Holla!
I have nicknames for everyone. It’s really just a term of endearment, and a way I like to connect with people. “Holla” and “mama” are part of my heritage. I’ve been using those terms for as long as I can remember. Holla actually came about on the show when a producer asked me for a “Heatherism” to add to the end of my tagline. “Holla!” naturally flowed out of me as a positive shout-out, and it stuck. I’ve never tried to be anything or anyone I’m not. I’m all about being positive and trying to build people up, rather than tear them down, and that’s what holla represents for me.


Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover
I’m happy for Carole. She’s excited about someone, and it’s because of chemistry! You can’t hide a chemistry that magnetic. It’s exciting to see your friends find happiness. I believe Luann, at least the one I thought I knew, meant it when she said she was happy for Carole, too. Unfortunately, she’s changed her tune on that.


People are always so quick to judge other people’s relationships. I’m no dating expert, but I have been happily married for 12 years now, and I think it’s more about chemistry, someone’s soul and life experiences…than their age. There are special circumstances to any situation, and even when it looks picture perfect, nothing ever is. When something is off, it’s never an easy path, so why put any more pressure on? If Carole and Adam are making it work and are compatible, I’m happy to see that! Let’s just let them enjoy this ride they’re on together.


P.S. I was also loving Carole in my super skinny jeans in charcoal. No wonder Adam finds her so yummie!


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xo,
Heather

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