Cast Blog: #RHONY

The Lizard King

Aviva explains her Secret Santa gift, what she looks for in a friend, and why the wine debacle needs to end.

It is the night of Carole's dinner party and after a busy day I called Reid to ask him to pick up a Secret Santa gift on his way home from the office. He replied, "Sure thing honey. Consider it done." He bought a lizard. When we got in the car to dinner Reid started to explain that the box was prepared by a Petco expert with the lid cracked open and lots of air holes everywhere. He was very concerned about the lizard's well being while I was afraid of who would receive the reptile. Thank goodness Carole got it! She was so elegant calm and collected. She named him George. Mmmmmm. Speaking of, my dad entertained us all that evening. He was, as usual, inappropriate but hilarious.

So let's get this straight. I am in Carole's apartment having M&Ms for lunch when Carole invites us to St. Barths to celebrate her book completion and meet up with her boyfriend who is performing there. While at first this seems like fun, soon the fear sets in. Not only is there a big plane and a little plane involved, but I had recently counseled an amputee who lost her leg in St. Barths and nearly died. I just wasn't feeling it. I went rambling on to get out of this trip anyway possible.

The good news is that while I rarely show my vulnerabilities, it seems that these women are supportive and really want to help me get over this. Right? I started to fantasize about taking that little teeny car size plane into St. Barths and upon arrival the ladies are high fiving me and congratulating me on fighting my fears. Support, acceptance, patience, and empowerment.. What are friends for? Right?

And then there were snakes. Why did I reference exposure therapy with snakes? Because beneath the surface of all this hand holding and support, I sensed several hedonistic women who would later forget this gathering, lose any sense of compassion and kindness, and prioritize themselves and superficiality above all else.

What Ramona doesn't seem to understand is that when I am relaxing with my friends or shoe shopping I really don't want my leg to be the focus at all. I want to live life like everyone else, without 80 million questions or a barrage of orders telling me when I can and cannot swim or for how long. While I am very open to questions about my prosthesis and accident, Ramona somehow thinks she has a say in how my prosthetic leg can and cannot affect me. Ramona has no problem using my leg as an excuse when she wants to leave a Miami swimming/yoga session so she can get to her next party to drink pinot ad nauseum. For whatever its worth I never "panicked" in Miami over my forgotten swimming leg. I adjusted to the situation and moved on. It was Ramona who used my little situation to get herself where she wanted to be -- which was out of the pool and into the car where Mario was waiting downstairs to take her partying.

Who is Ramona to tell me when my "disability" affects me or not? The fact is that when as a six-year-old my leg was churned in a piece of farm equipment and I thought I was going to die -- it has left some lasting psychological issues, which I wish were not there. You would think that anyone would understand that -- especially Ramona who was acting as if she was so concerned in Miami. She wasn't concerned, that was a charade to get me out of the pool because the yoga session wasn't all about her and she had a party to go to. It is interesting that Ramona has taken such an interest in my leg when I am going in a pool but she has such a hard time understanding that I have anxieties that trace back to an accident when I was six years old trapped in a machine which left me holding on to my life for two months?

This is the way it is. I have anxiety that interferes with traveling. Often I need to bring a relative or close friend to fly with me. I wish it were different and I am working on self-improvement. These are defining moments for real friendships. A friend has a problem. How will the others handle it? With compassion and understanding? Or self interest and mockery? A friend, in my opinion, is someone who is there for you during the ups and the downs. I appreciated LuAnn's suggestion to do the trip afraid and Carole who was very open minded to do whatever it would take to get me on the little plane. Heather was sitting next to me and told me that she felt the life being sucked out of me that day. It was not fun.

Wait a minute. Stop the press. Did Sonja Morgan just give me marital advice on how to keep my husband missing me? As the story goes, she lost her husband on her last girls' trip. Enough said.

That red lipstick. Yuck. Not sure what was worse: the lipstick or the party? We have beaten the wine situation like a dead horse. I should not have brought it up to LuAnn. However, up until this point I had brought it up to Ramona and not LuAnn. Luann was right, I was annoying. Jacques had a point as well -- he was there and had Ramona started to falter he may have been able to come in for the save.

Best move of the night was Jacques drowning me out with piano playing! I starting teasing him calling him "mean" in french. For the record, Jacques is the complete antithesis of mean.

I love Jacques. He is a doll, incredibly kind and hysterically funny. The man is gracious, sweet, and has heart. He has always been so warm and funny with Reid and myself. He and LuAnn make a great couple. Jacques is French and he has a charming French accent. Am I missing something here? I was not discussing Jacques' accent, nor do I understand what Ramona and Mario were talking about. I liked Heather asserting herself, however, she didn't know anything about the wine situation and she was jumping in without understanding the beginning, middle, and end of this little tryst. I still like the way she put herself out on a limb for her friends. Great woman that Heather. Strong.

Heather shouldn't have told Mario his wife was "crazy," even if its true. We all make mistakes with the slip of the tongue. I certainly do. . .often! Hopefully, when I am wrong I will always have the ability to self reflect, own it, and improve my character.

Thank you for reading and watching!!! You all go above and beyond with your kindness and heartfelt opinions.

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Kristen: B and I Are Not Besties

Kristen tells us how she really feels after not being invited to Bethenny's party.

Carole is so hilarious. I love that she met Adam, hit it off, and they are hanging having fun. You go, girl. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

I have to agree under 35/over 75 seems like a great way to go when dating. The Halloween puking in a pedicab thing is OMG, too funny! He held her hair back out of the way! #truelove

I actually didn’t know that Adam dated Lu’s niece. It seems to me that Carole just fell into this. The feeling is mutual, and I would have to agree it’s a bit awkward to tell Lu too soon. Carole doesn’t even know what’s happening at this point!

Bethenny's birthday dinner seemed like a lot of fun, LOL. I didn’t know that she shared the day with her mom, that seems like somewhat of a sore subject. I do remember hearing years ago that she hated birthdays. I love that Sonja is with her German boy. I think it's nuts how these women just keep inviting other men as guests--they clearly didn’t get the plus-one only invite. OMG, the young boy not knowing Jordache jeans?! How is that even possible?

Cheers to expecting the unexpected!

The phone call with Heather catching up and then finding out that I wasn’t invited was interesting, and very much what happens. Simple question: Gee, why wasn’t I invited? Listen, anytime you are in a group and you are not invited, I don't care what anyone says, it’s a bummer. I was last with all the girls in the Hamptons. I felt that we had a nice time at Bethenny’s brunch. Last I saw, Bethenny and Ramona had a huge fight.

When you do meet a new group of women, sometimes it’s nice to include them all, especially when random young dates get to tag along. 

Kristen Taekman

I was just surprised that Bethenny and Ramona made up so fast and were hanging out already? That’s all. I get it--B and I are not besties. When you do meet a new group of women, sometimes it’s nice to include them all, especially when random young dates get to tag along? The guest list was clearly not that tight. Oh well…there’s always next year’s birthday!

Dorinda and Hannah and Dorinda and John. This all seems very complicated, stressful, and a lot of work. Dorinda is really so lovely. It’s hard to believe that she leads a double life. How hard is that? Unless John is really not good for her, it seems that Hannah has to allow her mother to be happy.

Ramona and AOA.

This restaurant is in my ‘hood, just a few blocks away, great spot. It’s really funny that Ramona is an investor in a sports bar. WOW things really have changed!

It’s interesting how Ramona says that she did so much for Mario and didn’t realize how much work he was. It’s nice she is taking time for herself, she really deserves it. As she said, “Trying to look on the brighter side.”

Ramona and Peter are both very, very flirty…hmmm, more than just business??

Dorinda and John seem to love each other. But we are seeing so much fighting and bickering. I am betting that the making up for them is fun after the fighting. 

Rebranding death. I hear Bethenny, “late husband” does seem weird, but I think it’s better than the alternatives, that’s for sure. When I heard about Anthony’s ashes, I became sooo emotional. I can’t believe it, all that that must have stirred up in Carole all these years later. She told me that he would have gotten a kick out of it all, that’s the kind of personality he had.

I am not losing sleep over not being invited to Bethany’s birthday. I was just confused as to why everyone else was invited, and I wasn’t. The last time I saw her, things seemed good between us. She knows we all hang out together, you would think she would say, “Uh, well, now that everyone else is coming, what’s another two? I should invite Dorinda and Kristen.” Right? But no biggie, she didn’t even think of it, because we aren’t friends. Little side note… uh, that’s how you get to know people! I invite you to do things, you invite me…no harm, no loss. Heather is a great friend for having my back! All good. #staytuned


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