Cast Blog: #RHONY

The Origin of the Species

Episode 5: Bravotv.com's Editor discusses internships, IVF, and frenemies.

Hello fashion-forward friends. Welcome back to London-gate. Let's sort this out before we hop across the pond next week, shall we.

Brooklyn Heather Goes Hard
After The Countess dubs someone "Gangsta Chic," one can't help but wonder just how deep that well of toughness goes. This week we find out just what Heather's made of as she deals with the hurls of Aviva re: the Ramona situation. On yet another Central Park bench the ladies discuss alliances and dirt bikes. Aviva doesn't want Heather to think she's "Team Anyone," but she does want Heather to know that maybe she's earned the "excluder" title. Heather's response -- BRING IT. She could literally give a s—t as she says. Yeah, I think that qualifies as "gangsta"

Heather's curious as to when "Avivies" (cutest nickname ever) became Ramona's butt buddy. I guess we'll figure out how deep their love is at the upcoming downtown shopping excursion.

Note, Heather's son Jax is also pretty gangster. Way to go kiddo.

The Art of Eastern (like Queens) Medicine
IVF, please, not for our Lu. She's going to get pregnant the old fashion way -- with acupuncture, Chinese herbs, and "lots of sex." Sadly, the Countess' jovial manner was lost on our dear needle doctor (is that a nickname for acupuncturists?) and she doesn't call Jacques immediately for more witty banter. (I would have, I love nothing more than when the Coutness gets a little bawdy.)

real-housewives-of-new-york-season-5-gal

Luann, not taking the art of comedy lying down.

Thankfully while the Housewives and European wine jokes didn’t stir anything in the doctor, LuAnn felt the pins stir something in her ovaries, so all is not lost!

No Women is a Staten Island
Sonja Morgan is many things. She is newly a lover of bow blouses, a forgiver, a party planner, and most of all she is a shaman to the young career-focused generation. At a tete-a-tete with Aviva we learn that she's moved on from the whole Socialite Life hullabaloo, freeing up her fret schedule and thereby allowing her to cater Aviva and Reid's fifth anniversary party. But it's only mere days after she returns from London. Is there anyone who can help her?

As it turns out, there are. There's a veritable legion of interns at her disposal (one to three per day). Without these young upstarts, who would feed Sonja her vitamins? Who would cash her under $2 checks from American Express? Who would help her create the perfect Christian Mingle profile? And aren't they learning as well? Isn't the Sonja Morgan School of Hard Knocks a touchstone institution at which growing men and women can study and excel? Methinks so. Methinks so.

Bronx Love Pun? Or Princess Pun
Speaking of Christian Mingle and dating, here's Carole Radziwill on a date. Of course they meet at one of Sonja's parties. And now this international, fashion hound is taking our girl to drinks. If you'll remember Russ, they're totally open about seeing other folks. So it's NBD that she and this "rare species" are getting to know each other.

I personally think this guy is a keeper. He didn't Google her, he's a little funny in the bathroom, and he's focused on the present. What more can you ask for in a man? You rock that leopard jacket and this relationship Carole. You go girl!

Besides being a minx, Carole is also a princess. Oh did you not know? Yes that adorable bag of bones in the varsity jacket making sure that Ramona eats before she gets edgy and doesn't fall on steps is royalty. In an effort to keep Ramona from falling to far down a Heather-hatred hole, Carole changes the subject to her lineag, which always seems to work when I have a problem. I just change the subject to my role as a. . .nobody.

Manhattan Major Moment
And we finally arrive at our downtown shopping excursion. What Ramona didn't know, is that Heather had planned this as a makeover! Ramona is not feeling this idea from the get-go. She likes her "satin strapless thing" just fine, thanks Heather. She doesn't want your s--t kicking shoes (I guess Heather has those because she "doesn't give a s--t" as we earlier asserted). After the fashion intervention does not go as planned, Ramona pulls Heather aside for an intervention of her own. She’s ready to clear the air once and for all about London.

Unfortunately for Aviva, that conversation begins with Ramona telling Heather that she heard she was upset about the "talking too much comment." Yikes. Did someone ask for a bus? Because the one that Aviva just got thrown under is here.

At the end of the day, Heather lays it out -- she just doesn't like Ramona. Burn. Ramona doesn't want to be Heather'’s friend until she starts being "real" -- however one wonders if she does get real and just tells R she doesn't like her how that could pan out. Then maybe they could be the kind of friends that just don’t like each other. Those friendships exist right?

After a clothing break, Carole shines some good news down on her fellow 'Wives. Her novel is potentially being turned into a TV show. Everyone is so excited, particularly Ramona who pogo sticks over to mention that she's going to have her wine in Target. Well that's good too. Everyone wins.

Next week the women finally make it to London. What will Aviva and Ramona do while their friends and frenemies are away? How many questions will Ramo have about A's leg? What does Heather lose her mind about? What are Heather's new glasses? Leave your guess in the comments.

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Sonja: Is It Really So Bad to Be Me, Carole?!

Sonja thinks everyone needs to try to be a little more supportive of one another.

Ramona’s birthday lunch was a wonderful event. I’m so glad I was able to help her to feel so comfortable beginning her birthday week. I completely understand her celebrating her birthday for a whole week! She needs all her close friends around her to support her now. I wouldn’t have been so nice to Heather at that event, though, if I had known that she’d been talking badly about my business behind my back. What was with Heather’s BFF Carole knocking my consultations with a psychopharmacologist? Carole isn’t a doctor, and I don’t know why she thinks that she knows what's in the best medical interest for me. I’m currently seeing a neurologist and an endocrinologist in conjunction with the psychopharmacologist--they are all working together to regulate my hormones and my vitamins, and I think that I would know what’s in my best interest. The psychopharamacologist will decide if I need to take any prescriptions, and yes, they do know a lot about vitamins, as they should, and how they interact with medicines. Then I will decide if I want to take a prescription. This is another example of one of the women just being critical and starting rumors. If Carole is really concerned about my health and what my psychopharmacologist does, she should come to me instead of talking about me to everyone in the world in pure speculation.
I’m not surprised, too, that Bethenny was not receptive to me telling her that I am seeing my friend Robin Cofar, who is a Swami Priest and Yogi. In Atlantic City, Bethenny told me that she thought that I needed to see someone and start talking about the things that are going on in my life. Robin and I are doing introspective work, so I thought that Bethenny would want to know that I was taking her advise and trying to slow things down a little bit as she suggested. Instead of being supportive, Bethenny just attacked me! Bethenny has stepped back into this group of girls with a preconceived notion of where I am at. I feel she isn’t taking the time to get to know the real facts in this particular moment. Bethenny wants me to talk to a shrink, because that’s what has worked for her. It’s great that talking to a therapist works for her, but that’s not how I operate. Having said that, my psychopharmacologist has said he may suggest a therapist for me. Bethenny and I are very different people, so we are going to go about getting centered in different ways. I wish that she would respect that I need to follow my own path instead of her trying to force her life experiences onto me. Everyone is an individual and has their own story. The sooner we all realize this, the happier we will be. At least I feel she really cares, and she's damn funny.


I’m not surprised that Bethenny is being harsh with me, because she is very hard on herself. I don’t like when Bethenny says that her talk show and marriage were both failures. I don’t like to look at any life experience as failures. Both the talk show and her marriage brought her to where she is today, and Bethenny needs to focus more on moving forward instead of thinking about her past experiences. I know that I am very grateful for my marriage and for all of the moments I’ve had in my life. Bethenny has a very strict view of success and failure, and that’s why she views my toaster oven venture as a failure. I view it as a growing experience, because I learned so much from producing the toaster oven, and I was able to take the knowledge with me and transpose it into my Sonja Morgan New York fashion line. That's how I finally got here! We can’t forget that we can learn something from each of our life experiences and that we need to focus on moving forward, not backward. Your past can only restrain you if you let it.
I feel bad that Bethenny had such a tumultuous upbringing, but I’m glad that she is trying to reestablish her family roots for her daughter. Being a mother fundamentally changes a person, and I can see that in Bethenny. She is becoming more introspective and trying to figure out how to live her life in a way that is most condusive to being a mother. I completely understand why she said that choosing between her daughter and hanging out with the other women isn’t even a decision. I struggle with the same issue. Ramona and Luann are always saying that I don’t spend enough time with them, but between my businesses and being a mother, sometimes you have to give up a ton of leisure time. There’s nothing more important than being a mom, so the other women should respect that Bryn is Bethenny’s priority. Who needs a ladies luncheon when you can spend quality time with your daughter!
I don’t know why I wasn’t invited to the boxing match! I love boxing (and wrestling), and when you throw in those tasty looking sandwiches and some beers, who couldn’t have a great time! I don’t know why Carole wouldn’t have invited me, because I know that I always invite her to every group event I do. I’ve noticed that Carole has become more dismissive of me, instead of taking the time to really hear what I’m saying. This makes me sad, because I thought that Carole understood that I am always one to support artists, and I would think that she would support me as I have supported her. In fact, she was the first person to say I am an artist and that I should take my caburlesque Off Broadway. I thought she enjoyed my sing song skits that I write. She said I was hilarious.
Speaking of artists, Victoria’s paintings were amazing! She is a lovely girl, and I am so glad that she is so successful! I have been supporting young artists for decades, so maybe I need to include Victoria in one of my young artists’ exhibitions! Looks like I’ve found my next Sonja in the City event!
I don’t know why Carole was so upset when Luann said that her boyfriend is "Sonja young." Is it really so bad to be me Carole?! I also can’t believe Ramona said that my boyfriends are just toys. The men who I date may be young, but they are established independent men who don’t need me to support them. I’m just happy that Carole has a man right now. I’m not trying to poke holes in her relationship like all of the other women are trying to do to mine.
I did love the Christian Louboutins Carole has in her apartment. Those shoes are worth more than $3,000 dollars, so I see why she would want to use them as a centerpiece instead of wearing them. They are art!
You can always count on Ramona to bring a little levity to a situation! That comment about Dorinda being pounded to stay thin was hilarious! Maybe I need to stop working out and just start having more sex! But I don’t know why Ramona tried to belittle Dorinda’s relationship with John. Why can’t these women just be happy for each other?! They all need to take a step back, stop meddling in other people’s lives, and just worry about their own problems while being supportive of their friends. Dorinda is happy. John has been there for her in dark moments.
When you saw me working out, it really is a good representation of my life. I feel like I am always trying to do a million things and that really exemplifies that! That slice of life also really shows that leopard is my neutral! I don’t think I could have put more leopard in that room if I tried. Well until, of course, my Vanessa Noel shoes for my Latino Show magazine cover event arrived! I don’t know how my trainer Toni (Filipone) puts up with me, because I really am always trying to do a million things at once while she is trying to train me. I have eaten a veggie burger, dead headed the window boxes off the gym, taken calls on speaker phone, even organized my dress rack, all while training with her. We all need to remember that life is all about balance! I am the first to admit that I sometimes forget that, but I try to center myself and remind myself of the things that are important. At the end of the day, the most important things are our families, our friends, and our businesses that support us. Let’s all remember that, and we will lead happier and more fulfilled lives! Can’t wait for you all to see my cover next week! I wear my own designs, the team is strong! If I am delusional, why am I wearing the very dress and jewelry I have been designing for years at a Sonja in the City event? At Vanessa Noels Coutuier?

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