When Aviva -- it's me -- finally appears on screen – more than a third into The Real Housewives of New York City premiere, I was expecting a gorgon, some hideous beast that breathes fire and scatters destruction wherever it looks. I mean, what else could it be? For about 20 minutes, we'd been hearing about the Aviva creature -- and that's after the prior season recap that is like a highlight reel of "Aviva's Gone Wild -- Bitch Edition." Then we're treated to four of my fellow Housewives trashing the Aviva daemon. And that's not enough -- they warn the newest member of our coven -- Kristen, whom I haven’t even met -- about the Aviva. I’m watching this episode on the edge of my seat, ready to be terrified. I'm thinking it's going to be like that monster that pops out of the man's chest in Alien. I grip Reid's hand. I prepare to scream. I count the steps to the bathroom in case I have to vomit. Okay . . . let's see the FrankenAvivastein.
And there she is! OK, there I am. I don’t look scary at all. In fact, I look really good in that lace flamingo pink top and elegant black pant (but then, the girl in The Exorcist didn't look bad at first glance either). It's the beginning of a new season. I'm looking forward to mending fences and having some fun with the girls.
I think Bonnie and Clyde had it better when they were ambushed. Clyde was killed by the first bullet, and Bonnie wasn't far behind. The other 150 shots and shotgun blasts were just for fun.