Cast Blog: #RHONY

Carole: Gossips, Liars & Hypocrites, Oh My!

Carole thinks gossip is bad for business, doesn't believe Sonja's claims about Russ, and is sick of George on her TV.

"There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society -- outside of a kennel." -– The Women (1939)

The three kinds of people I dislike most are Gossips, Liars, and Hypocrites. Hmm. This episode doesn't bode well for some.

Sonja is a Ding Bat
The Women is one of my all-time favorite movies, you really should watch. It's based on a play by Clare Booth Luce about a group of high society women (one is a Countess!) in 1939 New York. They're all socially friendly. They lunch and shop and get facials, and seem content in their champagne bubble until a manicurist at a salon starts a rumor about one of them. It leads to the divorce (and downfall) of nearly all of them. There follows cattiness and martinis. You get the idea.

the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city-sea

Gossip should come with a Surgeon General's Warning: "Caution: Gossip can be hazardous to your health. It can ruin careers, and break marriages. It's known to complicate a friendship. It really pisses people off." This episode is all about gossip. I find it nearly impossible to watch. I spent a large part of my adult life in and around one of the most gossiped about families on the planet and saw first-hand how it can destroy reputations, wound friendships, and hurt families. My threshold for mean gossip is nearly intolerable.

The thing about rumors is that everyone believes something about them, even if they are completely unfounded. There have been studies about this. As a rumor travels, it grows shorter and more concise and then it is much more easily told. After five or six retellings, regardless of how untruthful it might be, a rumor sounds completely plausible. (Remember the childhood game Telephone?)

So. Did I believe Sonja was drunk in a bar one night in Los Angeles? Absolutely. Did I believe she and Russ, my ex-boyfriend, hooked up? Either while we were together or after? Nope. But Sonja sat in her hangover robe on that rooftop with her trademark "dingbat" look and proclaimed that Russ did "flirt with her" in St. Barth's.

And that's all it takes to fuel a rumor. (It's hard to imagine she even remembers St. Barth's. She was drunk most of the time. In fact, just after meeting Russ, she did a striptease with a floor lamp, who was probably flirting with her, too. LOL.)

I'm not the kind of girl who fights over a man, especially an ex, but I am a girl. So even though Russ and I had broken up nearly a year earlier, when I hear this rumor it's still. . .peculiar. So I did what any normal girl would do, with Kristen's mouth still agape, I called Sonja.

I asked her what any normal girl would ask, what the f---? Because where I'm from, women have each other's backs. They don't perpetuate gossip about their friends. Sonja denied that it happened but didn't apologize for letting Satako repeat it while she giggled.

I also called Russ. He didn't remember meeting Sonja at all until I reminded him she was the drunk-er blonde in St. Barth's. He thought it was ridiculous.

Then the reporter in me kicked in. I wanted to get to the bottom of this rumor so I paid a visit to the Satako. I booked the appointment under my maiden name hoping to get some info before she recognized me. Picture me with a scarf tied around my head and sunglasses. After this gig's up, I'll be a spy.

Satako was open and charming and we had a nice chat about friendship and gossip. She told me Sonja already knew what she was going to say and I told her the story of The Women. When she asked me in her charming broken English, "Am I manicurist?" I said yes and when she asked what happened to the manicurist I told her a white lie to make my point: "She was never heard from again." Her eyes got big, and I left her a great tip: "Don’t repeat gossip. It will hurt your business."

Russ says he never banged Sonja and I believe him but hey, things happen. If that rumor is even partly true it says nothing about me and everything about Sonja. None of it good. Sonja says people are always taking advantage of her except, well, when she is taking advantage of them.

And Kristen, whether it's true or not, what's so funny about Sonja sleeping with my ex-boyfriend? What’s so titillating about implying LuAnn cheats on her boyfriend? I’m curious if I would find it just as funny if the rumors were about your husband? About Sonja’s infamous Ex?

Another "#WTFbyBravo" Moment
No, Aviva is not disgusted by her father's behavior as she claims to be. If she were, she'd keep him off television. She'd be horrified, he'd be in a closet. Instead she celebrates him. She thinks gross sex talk makes an interesting storyline. Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee, with a sex-addict crazy father!

The problem is he's so over the top, it's uncomfortable to watch. I love a good drama -- whether a screaming match or a hair pulling -- but I'm with the audience on this one: get George off the TV. It's sickening to hear an old man sexually degrade women in all kinds of vile ways.

George isn't a pedophile, (still I wouldn't want my teenage daughter anywhere near him). He might be a necrophiliac; he's definitely a pervert, and also a liar. Last season George swore on his daughter's good leg that he never had a boner for Sonja, that it "never happened." This season we hear differently; that he did but it was Sonja who backed into it. Now George swears on his daughter's good leg and her children, and his story once again turns out to be untrue. You all heard the young lady at lunch. She didn't go back to the house. She looks absolutely perplexed talking to Ramona. I believe her and I feel for her. She has no idea what damage has been done to her reputation by Aviva and her dad. Word on the street is that Miss USA didn't take the news smiling…..stay tuned.

Oh yeah, and George? Get off our TV.

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You can buy The Widow's Guide to Sex and Dating here.
You can buy What Remains here.

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Carole on Elitists and Bitches

Carole says what she really thinks of Aviva and all of her talk about her book and things being "ghetto."

Dear Fans,

Let me start with something I stole it from Twitter this week. "The most dangerous liars are those who think they are telling the truth."

I'll say it again. The blonde at the end of the right couch, the one who's prone to lobbing limbs and insults, is an Insulting. Bitch. Some of you didn't believe me. Maybe some of you still don't. But after watching the reunion shows I imagine it's harder and harder to cheer for the anti-hero. Just when you think she can't get any faker she does.

The story according to Aviva makes me laugh: We were arguing, she insulted me, I called her a psychopath and that prompted her to affectionately compliment me on my age. Sure. Her disdain for the intelligence of the audience is palpable. It was too stupid for me to even reply. But as I was watching the reunion, and particularly Aviva and the way she treats people, I was reminded of something my Grandma Millie used to say. (I love everything Grandma Millie used to say.) "At 25, you have the face you're born with. At 45 you have the face you deserve."

I'd rather be 50 and me than be 45 and Aviva, any day of the week. She aged worse this season than a president in his first term. Holy short dress, I don't mind at all how I look. Overbite and all. I'll take it.

When I first met Aviva she was lovely. Really lovely. I meant what I said on the couch, I wish we had seen more of that. Her easy laugh and funny neurotic ways. Instead all we saw was a mean and angry woman. All because I asked her if she hired a writer -- a writer she did hire. It makes no sense. Three years ago she told me she'd read my memoir, What Remains. This was a book published in 2006 about my childhood, my family, my career and marriage, and then the death of my husband, Anthony Radziwill. A man I loved more than anyone I had loved before or have loved since. She gushed over my book. She quoted from it. We hugged. She seemed so sincere. Flash forward and she now believes it was written by a ghostwriter. She even knew his name, and it wasn't Truman Capote. It was Bill Whitworth, she told me. She repeated this over and over to anyone who would listen. And it doesn't matter how many times she repeats it -- it will never make it true.

When they stopped listening she started saying in the press and on social media that not only was my book written by someone else but that it was not my place to have written a book about my life, and my marriage. And, as if I didn't remember, she reminded me that I'd written about people who had died. Um, yeah. I know. It was my husband and my family and my closest friend who died. Just. . .wow. But I wasn't important enough to tell my story because my husband's family was famous, or historic or whatever she said. Because they had money and privilege and yachts. Really. Who do I think I am?

I’ll tell you. I’m a girl from upstate New York who grew up in a loving, if sometimes kooky, Italian working class family. I worked for everything I earned, just like my parents did and their parents before them. I have a proud family history of hard work and small but precious rewards that followed. My family won't be in any history books. I didn't grow up privileged. We didn't spend summers in Europe or Christmas in Palm Beach. A day spent at the town pool or playing in the woods behind our house was great. Much like Heather, I was taught strong values and decent manners. I learned to live with integrity and honesty. I'm proud of my upbringing and the woman I became, as was my husband. As is his family to this very day. I've known people who lived in what Aviva would consider the "ghetto" who have more class and decency than she shows.

All this talk about class and ghetto -- you'd think we were living in communist Russia. Here is the thing. This is America. In our country it doesn't matter a lick where you are from, it only matters where you're going. So don’t let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough because you didn’t grow up on Park Avenue or in a family that had some history, or because you enjoy saying mother-f---er now and then. I’ve met people from all walks of life. I spent time in refugee camps in Southeast Asia, and in the projects of Chicago. I've been to State dinners with Presidents. I met the Queen of England on a beach in Anguilla. No one is any more valuable or important than you are. No one is more important than your family and your friends.

Let the elitists go slow into the night.

In spite of the BookGate dust up I had a great time this season. I made wonderful new friends in LuAnn and Kristen and my friendship with Heather is more special and important to me than I could have ever imagined just three years ago. Friends have each other's backs. I love her, madly. And while we didn't always act appropriately, we had a lot of laughs. I hope you did too.

Thank you all for your supportive and funny and brilliant tweets. And while we didn't all agree on everything all of the time I enjoyed your participation in the show. Even the mean tweets about my skinny neck and my overbite were amusing. Like I said, I've stolen some tweets already. You may see others as dialogue in my next book, and yes, you can all say you were my ghostwriters.

As always,

With love, Writer Girl xoxo

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