Back from Montana!
Yee Haw! The trip was really a lot of fun, outside of all the drama mama, and it was beautiful! But I'm happy to be back in the saddle I know the best, with my hubby and our delicious littles, both hands on the wheel at Yummie and my feet planted firmly in NYC -- the place I really belong! I loved the adventures Montana brought us and although I still didn't entirely understand my dust-up with Kristen so much, I knew we were all good. Jonathan, who was entirely innocent of any wrong doing, still caught an arrow from her, too, but he didn't care. He thought it was funny and we all understood that whatever went down was hard for her. I thought it was nice we could spend some time together as couples after a silly scuffle. To sit down for dinner and laugh about it. . .but I should be so lucky. Kristen is at me for being bossy again! OK whatever -- you are bossy and I am the boss, as Jon says (so cute making light of the situation).
Kristen wants Josh's support. We can see that. When she describes our fight and feels Josh was taking my side, she was missing the point that assertiveness is a part of my personality. It's not that she was wrong and I was right. The fight was behind us and I wanted to move on. But now I realize that Kristen just wanted my support too. As she was explaining the many sacrifices she's made for Josh and their family, I got it. Kristen picked up, gave up, packed up, and uprooted her life twice! That is not easy. I also know that she and Josh are having struggles and it's all lopsided. Things are coming out wrong. There is stress for Josh to provide for his family and pressure for Kristen to find her footing when she's mumming more than modeling -- there is tension because they are not aligning and Josh isn't handling the situation well.
Entrepreneurs like Josh, who are natural at building relationships, use their talents to access resources (internally and externally), and to grow their business. I get it. So I try to explain the one thing I think can help: this is the way Josh's mind is working. Kristen is experiencing "entrepreneurial behavior":
1. Opportunity recognition: I am starting a new company.
2. Resource acquisition and venture creation: We are moving back to NY.
3. Firm expansion and growth, which is the phase EBOOST is in now: Not only will I be late for dinner, but I'm also not going to call and let you know.
Yes, this may appear to be habit forming but it's not, it's just a phase. I'm not saying it's right, but I am saying I understand it. I've been through it myself with my own start up and six years into business I still experience phases, with every new growth cycle, where you bust your ass to see your vision through. It's usually not convenient and it's usually not scheduled. But Kristen isn't biting my worm. I'm trying to help her gain perspective but instead she just sees me and Josh not supporting her and now we're both not doing a good job -- and my lecture in "The Process of Entrepreneurship" is entirely missed!