Carole: I’m Cautious in Matters of the Heart

Carole explains why she wasn't rushing to discuss her new relationship with the other ladies and how she felt about Bethenny's suggestion to rebrand death.

Bravotv.com: Were you actively trying to keep your relationship with Adam a secret from Luann in the beginning?

Carole Radziwill: No, I’m not a woman who overshares. And I'm fairly sure the audience knows this about me by now. You don’t see me each week talking, talking, talking about every last thought that pops into my head.  Also, I believe there is an expectation of privacy, even among good friends, and especially among social friends. I live by that in my real life (with my friends outside the show), and it’s no different than my reality life on TV. The best advice I can give a girl is to keep new relationships private. There is nothing like a handful of well-intentioned “girlfriend advice” to derail a blooming romance. That being said, when Adam and I started seeing each other, I wasn’t sure if it would develop into anything worth talking about. I’m cautious in matters of the heart. But after a few weeks, it was clear that we like each other’s company; he was kind and cooked; but mostly, he thought I was funny. Like I said, it’s not complicated. When I next saw Heather and Kristen, I told them I'd been seeing Adam. As for telling Luann, I was genuinely happy to tell her the next time we saw each other privately. Adam had dated her niece, and while they had broken up over a year before Adam and I met, they remained friends. All good. I assumed Luann would be happy to hear of her little love connection--it’s good karma! Turns out I’m not always right.

Bravotv.com: You mention the perks of dating someone under 35/over 75. Can you explain that a little more?

CR: I’ve learned that much older men and much younger men are more grateful for the company of a woman. It’s the men your own age that make things more complicated than need be. This is true at any age. When I was in my 20s, 20-something men were a pain in the ass. Maybe it’s just the higher expectations and greater social pressure in a relationship of two age-appropriate people. That said, I think age, much like race or gender, is irrelevant when you connect with someone on an intellectual or spiritual level.

Bravotv.com: What went through your mind when you found out you had to move your late husband’s ashes?

CR: At first, I thought it had to be a mistake. The church had been sold and the graves moved? It’s the log line to a Hollywood movie, not a storyline in a reality show. Churches can be sold? Caskets and urns replaced? But after speaking with the church secretary, I did what anyone in my place would have done--including my husband--I laughed. Not a long laugh, maybe it was a nervous laugh but still, a laugh. My husband was the king of practical jokes, and I thought this was the best one yet. Then after coming to terms with the idea of going to London and bringing the urn back, I was excited to have it back. He was and still is a piece of my life. A great one at that.

Bravotv.com: Since your conversation with Bethenny, have you had any ideas for how to rebrand death and being a widow?

CR: No, and let me say that that conversation at the time was a little bit surprising. And no less in re-watching it this week. It’s been 15 years since my husband died. I’ve heard everything, well, except, the re-branding of death. That was new. But I’m used to people being very uncomfortable around the subject of death. They say the weirdest and dumbest things. It’s still awkward, but it just doesn’t shock me any longer. I, like many young widows, have very well developed gallows humor. I only hoped on that night Dorinda did too. Filed Under: People Say the Strangest Things

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Carole Radziwill

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