Luann: Heather Should Know When to Quit

Luann discusses the weekend in the Berkshires and explains why Heather was way off base at dinner.

“Living a life is like constructing a building: If you start wrong, you'll end wrong.” Maya Angelou

I was really moved when Dorinda shared with us that her father built the stone foundation of her Berkshire manse while working as a mason then fixed the telephones once it was built. When her late husband bought the home for her and she invited her father to the house, he reflexively began walking to the back door (where as “help” he entered in the past) and Dorinda told him, "Daddy, this is my house, and now you enter through the front door!” Her father, like my father who was a builder, believed that a good life is built one brick at a time and that a person’s character begins with a solid foundation. I’m sure Dorinda’s father is very proud of her and enjoys the house when he visits as he deserves to. How poignant is this story?

The Berkshires in the winter is gorgeous, and Dorinda’s home is as vibrant as her personality. I took a car from New York with Ramona, and I have to admit, it wasn’t all that bad! We’ve been through so much together that when we have a tiff, it’s more of a fender bender than a 95-car pileup. Boy, have things changed! I think Ramona enjoys her business partner’s company and that is why she invited him to Dorinda’s party, yet I don’t feel like she’s completely moved on from Mario--they aren’t even divorced yet. They’ve been married for so long that it’s going to take time before she feels comfortable in the dating scene.

Is Kristen nuts bringing up how she feels about John with Dorinda? You can see in the flashback video that Kristen was getting her groove on with John and didn’t seem to mind grinding on the dance floor in front of the girls and her husband. Her explanation that shimmying in the back isn’t the same as the front seems a little hypocritical to me. John makes Dorinda happy, and she’s opened up her heart to him, so her friends need to accept John for who he is…a kind, sometimes slightly inappropriate man who should heed Dorinda’s warning that these girls are looking to throw him under the bus.

Women who have good relationships with their mothers have an easier time building and keeping female friendships. Our mothers and sisters are our first friends, and if that trust if broken when we are young, it’s difficult to trust women in the future. I think that some of the girls are better than others when it comes to nurturing healthy female relationships, and Bethenny clearly struggles with this. When we try to help her or comfort her, she tends to reject our overtures (and then usually cries). It’s hard for us to comprehend, but we haven’t given up on her yet!

When Heather compared losing her nanny to the struggles Ramona and Bethenny are currently experiencing, the reaction from everyone at the table was of disbelief. Heather tries, she really does, but this time she was way off base, and she should know when to quit. How can you compare the two? On a lighter note, The Red Lion Inn has terrific food, and the story of Jon proposing to Heather there was sweet. They really do make a great couple.

There was a time and a place to discuss how we feel about John, and Ramona was right--Petrossian wasn’t it. It’s time to drop the whole matter…Dorinda’s got enough on her plate without us piling on more. As for poor John…how can he be a good boy when Sonja’s running around his bedroom wearing lingerie and snuggling up to him? Dorinda’s very well aware that John loves women, and Sonja loves to flirt, so kudos to her for maintaining her composure as our host.

It’s hard to hide your past with Google! It’s disconcerting that Peter, Ramona’s plus one for the party, also dated Mario’s mistress. Too close for comfort in my opinion, yet I don’t think Ramona cares, because she enjoys his company and he makes her laugh. I’m certainly not going to mention it to her. I was happily surprised that Bethenny took my advice and left her daughter with her nanny to surprise Dorinda for her birthday. It shows that Bethenny is willing to step out of her comfort zone to build new friendships, and I’m glad she made the effort.

Will Bethenny survive the dinner party and only eat shellfish? Will Heather subdue her Jewish mother tendencies and let Bethenny eat what she wants? Will we ever get through a dinner party without Bethenny sobbing? Will anyone break the news about Peter to Ramona? This and more next week from the Berkshires…until then, don’t be uncool.

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