I always have a great time with with Luann. So happy we mended our friendship and she can take my teasing again. My mom said if you don't laugh you cry, and I prefer to laugh together and move on. I certainly don't take pleasure in others' pain. Ramona does go hot and cold and as I said she flips the switch now in the same day! She goes from one emotional high to a low to a high again in a nano second. I never know where I stand with her anymore. And no one is free of her wrath and judgment. She says she's happy, but I really see an instability since the split of her marriage. I just wish she wouldn't hide from me. I wish she would let me be there. It's very painful to see her act out against people who care about her and actually get her. She thinks she can speak out and then it will just all go away. Every time. I have always been there for her, but you can’t turn on those who have been 100% loyal to you. It's not endearing.
Bethenny's talk with Dorinda reminds me of our talk in Atlantic City the night after. About me taking care of myself. That's what a friend does. I took the talk to heart and made real changes that were already taking place at the time of our talk. I don't appreciate the girls continuing to add fuel to the fire and getting in her ear. I haven't seen Bethenny, and they haven't told her how far I have come. Bethenny saw me out with Luann on a very one-off night.
It saddens me to see yet another Bethenny celebration and I'm not there to enjoy. I've always had a great time with B. And way before this Tipsy Girl fiasco the girls had been in her ear. And my ear. Coming between us. The Ramonja dynamic has been building and that's another book. Now I have to watch Dorinda join the prison gang, fumbling with a way to say I'm not invited. The straw that stirs the drink. The fun one that’s always invited. Now I'm a problem. She says not to get into her or John. I've never judged them. I've always supported them. I don't knock their partying ways around town. Nor Ramona's. Or anyone's. Last year I was at the holiday get together at Dorinda's and no one ganged up. I've been with these girls a lot longer than her. I'm not on the outs with the girls. She's freezing me out. She's not facilitating the group coming together. It's classic high school behavior from the new girl. I would NEVER exclude someone from a group event. Never.
Thats just plain BS inviting Ramona who alway misbehaves publicly. I never have embarrassed the girls or started fights. They stir the pot. I like to be the comic relief and try to show both sides and mediate.
Ramona needs to work on herself. She keeps saying she has renewed herself. She never changes.
Needless to say the whole episode is heartbreaking for me. I don't need Dorinda's protection from my friends who I know much longer then her. It's not my first rodeo and it happens to be my life and I remember welcoming her with open arms. I can deal with Ramona’s manipulation per usual. And I don't need the further wedge between me and Bethenny.
It's the yearly get together. Same as last year. It's not one night. And the girls know the price I paid not being there. I texted Dorinda and Ramona many times before and believe me it wasn’t about being ganged up on, my eratic behavior (and leaving me all alone) or being concerned. It wasn’t just "one night," Ramona. What a biotch to say that. They knew Luann needed to be there and stay in the loop just like they did. I can’t stand liars.
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