Our double date with Tamra and Simon was so much fun! To be completely honest, the four of us did not stop laughing that entire night. It was so fun, light and happy. There was a short time during the evening that Tamra and Simon got into a discussion about Simon being too controlling. That was the only time I have ever witnessed anything about being 'controlling,' but I know that Tamra has claimed this a few times. Every relationship has its own set of issues. I like to say that every relationship goes through ebbs and flows. Sometimes there is an ebb, sometimes you are flowing ... The only advice I can give to someone who feels their significant other is being controlling is to talk it through. Every relationship needs counseling and needs to be reevaluated every so often, and if Tamra feels Simon is too controlling, they need to discuss this issue. I believe it's better to do this with a therapist because that way you can ensure BOTH sides are being heard. But it is apparent that some underlying issues are occurring in their relationship right now and I have the PERFECT person to help them resolve it.
It did not surprise me that Jim took Tamra's side during the dinner discussion, because I think Tamra was correct at that point too. Simon can't always be 'right' and he does need to be open-minded and have open ears. However, there is always more to a relationship than one instance, or one evening, and I believe that when someone says, "Have I ever been wrong?" they are going to be confronted. When Simon said to Tamra, "Have I ever been wrong about you?" he only set himself up for controversy.
I met my husband Jim at Palm Desert Springs Marriott six years ago on Memorial Day weekend. We have a lot of principles we live by, but to keep it short, I have put it into seven rules to make our marriage successful:
1. In our household, God is first, then each other, then our children.
2. Divorce is NEVER an option. We NEVER mention the "D" word, no matter how terrible our disagreement is.
3. We BOTH try 150% all the time. This ensures that our 100% is always being met. If both people only try 50%, there is usually a guarantee that your relationship is not at it's 100%.
4. We NEVER call each other names. You cannot take the words you say back - so don't say mean, hurtful things. (Fight healthy.)
5. We are in therapy at least once a month.
6. We have no secrets.
7. We do not have 'boys' night out' or 'girls' night out.'
The only thing I can say about Gretchen's comment about Lynne being a stricter parent is that based on what I have witnessed, I would not have allowed some of the things that have occurred with Lynne's daughters. Not only would I have grounded my child at that point, I would not have allowed some of the behaviors that I witnessed such as drinking, etc.
i just want to tell you how much i love your set of rules especially rule #1. May God bless you and your family.
Alexis, Glad to see a new house wife on the show. I think that you seven rules are great advice. My husband and I beleive in the same thing. If we didn't then why would we have walked down the isle. Now that we have kids I would have to say that it is god, my kids, then my husband ad I. Oh and We have a date night as we do have nights where he goes out and then I. Oh and from what I have seen from the commercials I hope that you put Vicki in her place. I can't stand her. Good luck on the show.
No girls' night out? How are you going to do this show? And, you put "each other" before the kids? Who are you?
Thank you, Alexis, for bringing up that God is first in your family. I am already a fan and Jim is a straight-shooter for bringing up to Simon on his always "being right." I'm not sure that this is the kind of drama that other viewers want but, hey, if it stirs up anything, bring it on! Love it, love it. Call everyone out on the mat! It can only make them better! "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" John 8:32
I think you're going to make an excellent addition to the OC Housewives. You seem to have a positive and balanced perspective (approach)- Great first blog post and Congrats on joining the show, they need you!!
Skeptic...believe it or not, you are suppose to put your spouse before your children. That doesn't mean to neglect your children, etc. It means that in a Christian marriage it's GOD, Husband/Wife, children. I think you are just taking it the wrong way. Sounds like Alexis has a very healthy marriage. I look forward to seeing more of her on the show.
way to go alexis, i like your rules for marriage. but i do not think tamara and simon are going to be good for you and your husband.
I would like to say that I totally agree with your rules for successful marriage and that is how my husband and I live our lives and couldnt be happier! I do not think that Tamra is going to be a good friend to you so watch out for her. Lynne and Gretchen however, are less drama and probabley wont stab you in the back. Anywho, I think your wonderful!
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, Alexis. We haven't seen much of you on the show yet, but I have a great impression from what I've seen and read so far. I felt the same way when Gretchen joined the cast last season and have been disappointed by her subsequent behavior, but you seem to be far more grounded than she is. Anyhow, keep up the great blog posts - I look forward to seeing more from you!
PS: I hope you'll reveal some of your beauty, diet, and exercise tips at some point on the show or in your blog. You're absolutely stunning!
I think you are going to make a great addition to the show. Your values are much different that the other ladies' values on the show...from what I can see. You seem to be real and have your priorities in the right order. It should be God (Jesus) first, spouse, and then children. If you ever start putting the children first, as I saw one of the commenters say, you're marriage is going to suffer. I hope that you are a positive influence on the other ladies. Vicki will never accept you and will definitely understand your values. I look forward to seeing more of you on the show.
WOW, you are NOT going to fit in with the other housewives, but I love you already! The other housewives NEED you, I hope that you are able to instill some of your wonderful morals and values on the others. I hope this experience is a good one for your marriage, I'm sure there is stress involved in having cameras follow you everywhere. I can't wait until you put Vicki in her place, she is just a horrible person who does not deserve what she has because she doesn't share it with less privliged or even friends when they need help. WELCOME again and my best to you!
You are AWESOME Alexis! I myself have been married for 3 years and I agree with EACH one of your rules. I'm SO EXCITED you are on the show! You bring so much light, positivity, and excitement. God bless your family =)
I think you are just what these woman need! You seem like a very strong woman and I cannot wait to see you rip a few of the a new one!!!
Akexis is certainly off to a good start with me... Putting God first, husband second and children third. Its going to be interesting to see if she can maintain her rules for marriage on a show like the Real Housewives... Not sure it can happen... But I'll be watching...
God Bless, Rhonda
Alexis, you are beautiful and I am watching the show this season because you are on. I appreciate your goals in sustaining a healthy relationship with your husband as if your relationship is not intact, it manifests into unhealthy relating with your children which leads to not being there for their needs and unhealthy growth for them. You are right on, especially that God is first. Your priorities are in check. How refreshing to have a wonderful woman represent us Healthy woman in OC! Thank you, keep the energy flowing!
I already love you! I am going to try and follow your rules. You already seem to be one of the smartest housewives GOOD JOB!
Congratulations on joining the show! You made a really great first impression on me. You have great family values and seem to be intelligent and head strong. I’m looking forward to watching you more. I appreciated your marriage advice. I think you make strong points especially about a marriage needing counseling. I personally disagree about not having girl nights or guy nights. Sometimes a person needs breathing room and a release from the stresses of life that come with family life. I’m not advocating going to a wild night club every weekend, I’m just saying that having a night for yourself to unwind with great friends from time to time doesn’t have to be negative to a relationship, especially if you are both faithful in God and yourselves and trusting of one another. Also, I always put my children before my relationship, but I guess if you put God first and truly follow his guidance you will be an excellent wife and mother regardless of the order in which you put your family members. Good luck with the show!
Why weren't you put on this show sooner????? I think you're great after one episode and respect your morals! That's something that's been very lacking with others on the show! I'm glad you're here now!
I think you can still have a very healthy relationship/marriage even with "girls night" and "boys night." You just have to have....T-R-U-S-T in each other. duh
Glad to see you on the Housewives show. I love it. Your rules are so true. You seem so grounded and a down to earth person and mom. It's refreshing to see someone like you who does have the lavish lifestyle but also keeps it in perspective. Looking forward to seeing what you have to bring to the show!!!
I like most of your rules and agree with the therapy if needed. I think Tamra and Simon are going through a financial crisis and they're getting on each others nerves.It really does help to talk things out with someone else because they do keep you on track. I'm just curious as to why you would do this show. It seems that you're wealthy enough or are you going through a financial crisis too?I know I am and it's not easy.Good luck with the show.
I completely agree with you about no "guys night out or girls night out." Lets face it, girls night out in bars become flirtatious atmospheres, other men are approaching,and I think alot of married women do it to feel young sexy and relevant. If its a book club,thats one thing, but venturing into bars/clubs is just asking for trouble/cheating.
I think you make a great addition to the show! You and your husband seem to have a beautiful relationship and that is something you can teach to some of those other housewives. Can't wait to see more of your storyline.
Welcome to the show. I hope you and your spouse stick by the rules you've stated in your blog. I also hope you continue to be as happy as you appear and this show won't take yoru relationship down.
Commenting on your dinner: I too fix a plate for my husband every time we eat. I know what he likes, how much, and have done so even when I was working as well. I take care of him and he takes care of me. It's the little things you don't think about that mean so much to him.
We respect each other and while dating before we got married we told one another what we each expect of one another and where the line is drawn. We do not ever swear at each other and if we do argue he may yell and I end up pouting and not speaking for awhile but we cool off and it's like nothing ever happened, however, we do talk about it and always apoligize which is extremely important.
You seem very strong, confident and you are beautiful. Your husband loves you very much it's plain to see. I hope you put these girls in the wash cycle and rinse and watch them spin. Don't forget their water softner for their mouths!
By the way, Gretchen, Jeana and Lynne are very nice people. You will find true friendship with them.
Good luck to you! I'm sure you'll put them in their rightful place. Church and Religion could really help them.
Look forward to watching you!
Good luck in the show ...hope you can keep your values and morals during the show especially with all the mud slinging! Due to that just out of curiosity, why would you do the show?
Good luck in the show ...hope you can keep your values and morals during the show especially with all the mud slinging! Due to that just out of curiosity, why would you do the show?
I couldn't do without my girls nights out! My boyfriend has his boys nights out too. I think time apart to live our own lives makes us happier when we're together and more appreciative of our time. We're both very independent and like our time apart.
I disagree strongly with some of your list but I'll reserve judgment until we see more of you (and your list) on the show... I like you otherwise so far.
I am so looking forward to this season because of you. I have been longing for someone to come in and put Vicki in her place. What i mean is .... well let's just watch and see.
Alexis, can't wait to watch you on the show. You will be a breath of fresh air! I hope Tamra and Vicki can learn from you and I'm so glad you mentioned how important God is in your life. It sounds like you have a happy healthy marriage. I think you and Gretchen will be good friends, because you're both beautiful, real, and happy women! Watch out Tamra!
Just as Gretchen was a breath of fresh air to the show I feel you will be too. I hope Vicki learns how to treat Don being around you. And don't ever back down from her. She really needs someone to put her in her place.
I get what alexis is saying about no boys/girls night out. I'm pretty sure she isn't advocating that a couple spend all their time together, only that their time apart won't be spent in any way that is potentially harmful to their relationship. On the show and I think often in real life stag groups or hen groups can be full of negativity. The rule about therapy once a month I think is a bit extreme but something similar is helpful. I don't think she'll be any different from the other ladies. I like Lynn's vibe and I warmed up to her because she was the underdog and I always thought jeana a bit spineless or unprincipaled. The other women are too lopsided in the way they are portrayed for them to be taken seriously. This season so far vicki does not seem as insane as usual.
As others have said before you are definitly a breath of fresh air! I really hope that you don't conform to the caddyness that is displayed by some of the other housewives. I do have one question though. Do you think that becoming one of the "real housewives" is going to put a strain on the "no girls nite/no boys nite" rule??? I understand that the rule is mutual - but if you chose to sit out on the girls nites, the other housewives may start to think that your husband is another Simon. Best of Luck with your new "girlfriends"!
To Skeptic, saying that you were crazy for putting your husband before your kids: By having a strong, heathy relationship with your husband is putting your children first. Having a life partner who are truely happy with trickles down to every other aspect of you life, including your children. If the children were #1, as opposed to your husband, they probably wouldn't be as happy as they are with they way things are now. Props to you!
Hi Alexis, Im so glad you're going to be on the show. I think you will make things better for all the housewives, And Im so happy to hear that you make God #1 in your lives. Your like the PERFECT HOUSEWIVES. And I believe you will teach the other housewives a lesson and ease their problems as well as eachother. You are so beautiful...I haven't seen the new episode, and I already LOVE you. I agree with some of the comments, that you and Gretchen will be good friends. :)
Hmmm, God before all. How refreshing. I think I am really going to like you. Can't wait to see and hear more!
Always remember why you got married in the first place.I have been married for 43 years and through all the trials and tribulations I always remembered what drew us together in the first place.Now that our three sons are grown and all out of the house, I'm so lucky to have my best friend who is also my husband with me!
I agree with your rules. It is Biblical- God, spouse, children... No, women do not need to do the "girls-night-out" but I think it is ok to do a lunch or dinner out with your healthy Christian friends occassionally. I do agree that we should not be doing the boozin-girls nights out. I have seen that lead to so much trouble for so many women. We need to encourage our marital relationships...I have seen the opposite of that happen on this show. These other women trash on their husbands, vacation without their husbands, rip on the other women's husbands, embarrass their husbands,etc. These are not good friends...they are dangerous. Best of luck!! Stay true to what is true!
Okay, you are officially my favorite housewife. The rest of the women are entertaining, but it's clear that your values are more in line with most "real" housewives. I can't wait to see more of your story.
alexa.....you go girl give tameria and vicky hell. you are just what they needed .LOUISE FROM NEW YORK,,
The best gift a man can give to his children, is to love their mother. Happy parents = happy kids. We have 3 little ones' and it's difficult to make time for eachother. But when we do, it's all about us, we reconnect and the kids feel that positive feelings of love and security. So you have to put your spouse before your children. It's not a bad thing. Your kids grow up and leave, your spouse is there still. Good for you.
Love the rules! A Christian marriage is God, spouse, then kids...if you put kids before your spouse then you will both end up resentful & more like roommates than partners. When your marriage is strong, the family is strong.
Lookin' forward to the rest of the season with you! Hopin' you're for real. Welcome and please tell Vicky to RELAX...she ain't perfect!
You are an amazing person-I can already tell! I love your rules! My husband and I do the same. God will provide but don't forget Him. Maybe you can teach the other HW a thing or two about God. You are beautiful inside and out and I am so glad you are on the show. You are my favorite so far!