Alexis Bellino

Alexis explains what happened at her luncheon and has a message for Jill Zarin.

on Jan 28, 2010

I feel it's most necessary this week to start my blog off by APOLOGIZING from the bottom of my heart to all ladies (and men) in New Jersey. The comment I made last episode about, "Where are we? Jersey?" was never intended to offend anyone, especially the New Jersey Housewives, or the state of New Jersey. At the time I made that comment, I was simply recalling the New Jersey episode where they flipped a table. I thought it was funny. However, after receiving some blogs this past week, it is very evident that it did not come across funny to some people. I used to live in Nanuet, NY, only 15 minutes away from New Jersey, and I loved it there!  

I also need to clear up the fact that in my blog last week, I had yet ANOTHER blonde moment! In my last paragraph I mentioned that "laughing takes years off of your life...."  OOPS! I know a lot of you caught that mistake, and yes, I meant it ADDS years to your life. The funniest part about it is that I always have Jim proofread my blog before I send it, and I proofread it over and over ... that is a SERIOUS BLONDE moment! (The funniest part is I'm a brunette with lots of bleach!)

That leads me to another drama filled day — my cooking party! Who ever would have thought this cooking party would wind up in sword fight between Lynne and Gretchen?? I thought they had worked that whole deal out; little did I know Lynne was still so upset about it. I wanted to do this luncheon to bring all the women over to my home and host something aside from a dinner, since that is what we always do together. It was actually Tamra's idea to do the cooking class (thanks Tamra!). I had asked her if she had any ideas because I couldn't come up with anything unusual! It was sooooo much FUN to do the cooking party! The chefs at Cook Club, Don and his wife, made it an awsome and fun experience! My intentions were to help Gretchen and Tamra to bury the hatchet. We all saw how well they were getting along at the cooking party! And that is how they ALWAYS get along when we are in a group setting. They are both so upbeat, witty, and entertaining that they get along super well. So I figured I could address the issues at hand and help mediate it while we were all together, since they always want to talk about it when they are apart. Well that plan didn't work out too well  In fact, it backfired! I think this was the turning point for me where I decided to leave their situation alone and go about my own business! Something I should have done from the get-go! My intentions were pure; I simply wanted the three of us to be able to hang out. I now realize this will never happen! And I am OK with that.

I think we were all shocked to see the drama of the cooking party switch from Gretchen and Tamra to Gretchen and Lynne. I know Gretchen's heart has always been in the right place regarding Alexa. Gretchen had many conversations with me about her concern for Alexa, and I told Gretchen that as long as she had made the phone call to Lynn asking her permission (which she did), then she definitely should take Alexa shopping. In my opinion, it's better to offer help to someone, whether they need it, or take it; at least they know you are there for them. How many times do people go, "Gosh, I wish I would have da da ta da ta...." It's better to err on the side of being too helpful for someone in need, than never lending a hand. I would think Lynne would love the fact that her friend cared enough about her daughter to call her up and lend a shoulder! Let's face the facts: Alexa is not being consistent with her answers which leads me to believe she DOES need someone to talk to. One minute she says Gretchen completely blindsided her with questioning her, and the next minute Alexa is saying that she WANTS her parents to ground her and she tries to push buttons to get grounded. The proof is in the pudding right there. I think my own mother gave me the absolute BEST parenting advice ever:  1) Always be consistent. If you tell them "no" about something one time, be sure to tell them "no" when they do it again, and again. 2) Always follow through. If you threaten time-outs or grounding them, be sure to do it and follow through on the time you specified (ie two minutes or two weeks). I know children have a mind of their own, and they will always try to push buttons, but I also know that children need consistent boundaries.