Jeff really wanted me to do the show, but I was very hesitant. It's scary to put your life on display for public scrutiny, but Jeff really felt we had a special story to tell, that people who have dealt with having cancer or knowing someone with cancer could relate to. He really found it important to show that life can be great with money, but that is not what life is all about. Watching the first episode was very emotional for me — I really, really miss Jeff a lot. It put a smile on my face to see the love we shared and the commitment we had to take care of each other during a very trying time. Sometimes when you are in the mist of it you don't really stop to smell the roses and now having documentation of that time together is very special to me.
It bothers me that it looks like I wasn't physically attracted to Jeff at all - the question that was asked of me was, When I FIRST met Jeff over four years ago, was attracted to him?" I answered honestly and said, "I really didn't see him in that way. Jeff was a client, not someone I was considering dating at the time, and he actually looked like Kenny Rogers or Santa Claus to me when I first met him." Once he and I got to know each other and he was "smitten" with me (about two years later) I fell in love with him on every level - including the physical. But my point was that the physical is really not what was important to me, or why I fell in love with him. I fell in love with Jeff because of the way he treated me and others.
It was really hard to relive the circumstances of Jeff getting diagnosed with cancer, but I almost feel lucky to have a video journal of my emotions and feelings during that time. It helps me remember what life is really all about. I was honest when I said that there were days that I questioned what I was doing, but ultimately my priorities changed because of the circumstances and my love for a wonderful man.