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Gretchen,
I walked in your shoes it wasn'T my hubbie, but my mom .
Itook care of her for six months before she passed.
Yes u do need a break , there was nothing to be sorry about. and for someone to even comment about taking time for ur self has never taken care of a sick love one.
I admire you for your strenghth and your love u had for Jeff
I wish the very best for ur furture

Luv u Gretchen u and Jenna r my faves you r real and loved your prty!you go! sorry about jeff=( u and slade are wonderful together God Bless Don't let Vicky and Tamra bother you they have nothing to say!

Hi Gretchen,just wanna say your my fave hswf.
u r real and don't stab ppl in the back and u and slade r great together so much better than he was w/Jo, u suit each other and he is comfortable with u.... Anyway i luvd the tanning prty u r single and don't owe anyone especially Tamra any thing so just stay your sweet self and God bless u u r really genuine! sorry about Jeff and i could tell u were really sad your tears r real

Gretchen, First let me start out by saying I am sorry for
your loss. Second you were so entertaining on the show and so beautiful, in fact a bought this barbie doll that
looks just like you it the "Derby Barbie" she look just
like you. I wish you well and just live each day to the
fullest. I don't believe in my heart believe that the other girls are that mean in real life but you go girl
you handle the professional just like a professional. I
do hope that you are coming back next season. I just loved all of you girls however, I really wasn't that
crazy about Lynn but I guess. God Bless and keep your
chin up with your looks personality I am sure you will
go far.
To a safe and happy new year
Dora

Gretchen....I am So Sorry for your loss....KNow that those we love are never truly gone...They live in our hearts forever...RIP Jeff :(...Tara, Nova Scotia Canada

Hi Gretchen: Just a note to let you know that I liked watching you on the show. It was obvious to me that there were a couple of the housewives were envious and/or jealous of you. You are beautiful inside and out, and I think that's why they gave you so much drama. Regardless, you've proved that your an educated, strong, dedicated young lady. I admire that.

As for your loss of Jeff, continue to be strong, knowing he's resting in peace and comfort. We lost my Dad a few years ago to ALS - Lou Gherig's disease. It's so hard to watch a loved one suffer. Of us all, though, my Dad was the strongest. Our faith kept us going, even when our hearts felt so low. I can't even imagine going through what we did, with television cameras around - like you did. And, yes, I do agree that caregivers need breaks. We all had our own lives to live, and my Dad understood that. We also took short weekend vacations, leaving him with the awesome care of folks who truly loved him. I admire the way are able to be cordial and courteous even in the aim of such cruel, heartless, rude, arrogant people judging you.

Life goes on. Right? :-))

Take care, and I hope to see you on upcoming seasons.
Sharon

Gretchen:
So sorry to hear about your loss. My husband is 19 years older then me and he had a major bleed on his brain 3 years ago which left half of his body paralyzed and he has a seizure disorder. It is tough, but I would never leave him because he is my friend, the man that I love and he is my family. So many people make comments to me about what they would or wouldn't do and tell them they have no idea what they would do if their significant other needed to be taken care. My mother always said "God won't put more on you then you can bear". She is so right and he is watching over all of us. As you go on with your life, the hole in your heart will close a little. There will always be something in your everyday life where you'll think "I wish I could tell Jeff..." at first it does make your cry and feel said, but with time you'll smile and know that he knows what is in your heart. Take care.

Hi Cretchen:

I am so sorry for your lose. God love you. I understand what you may be going threw as I looked after my Mom for eight months here at my home 24hrs. a day. She passed away almost a year ago with cancer. How I miss her. She was my best friend. I remember getting up with her every two hours to sit on the bathroom floor with her and hold her hand as she was being really sick.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Try to stay strong and think about all the good times you had together all theses years. I am trying to do the same.

I am writing to you from Ottawa.Ontario and we have all loved you on the show!

Take care,

Kimmy

I would like to respond to "viewer"on her rant on how much of a horrible person she thinks Gretchen is.Do u not know how much of this stuff is edited for people like you to make these assumptions.You saw 5 mins.here 19 mins. there long story short you cant go around talkin smack unless you know the whole story.You said she was off partying and traveling in every episode but you have to consider these episodes are taped over a long period of time and it takes hours to get the footage we see.It makes it look like the girls are doing things in 5 consequtive days when in reality it took all summer maybe longer.Even still there is nothing wrong with leaving a hospital for a little while believe it or not sick family members know life goes on in the meantime.

Gretchen, let me first say how very sorry I am for your loss. I would sit and watch the show and hear the other women talk about your relationship with Jeff as fake and it made me so mad. My husband is my best friend, and he just happens to be 23yrs older than me (I am 31 and he is 54). We have had our chalenges like you, he had a major heart attack 3 years ago, and just this past christmas he was facing loosing his foot due to diabetes. I don't think most people our age can or would deal with such major events in thier lives. But that is why God has put them in our lives. Please know you are not alone, and you are in my prayers. You will make it through, stronger than ever.
In Christ
Donna

You are amazing Gretchen. I saw the wrap up show and simply cannot believe Vicki and Tamara. I am so sorry you had to endure the treatment from those two. They obviously have personal issues and hopefully you're able to continue to heal without their negative involvement. If there is a new season I hope to see you return.

You do not have to explain yourself to anyone, though I understand why you feel the need to do so for your own sake. The Reunion show was hard to watch....I was embarrssed for a couple of the Housewives and how mean they have become, but don't see themselves as the mean spirited people they really are. You try to be nice and buy them a little gift and one of them complains she didn't get the gift memo and the other one, after thanking you is shown in a clip saying she wasn't sure how sincere it was. Do yourself a favor and quit hanging with these negative people. Maybe you should move to NYC and be friends with Bethanney and Jill Zarin.

Gretchen, Sincerest sympathies to you and Jeff's children. While I completely understand this is a TV show, you must continue to be mindful that Tamra is trying to BE the TV show. If Bravo had a clue they would replace her with another housewife like Lynn. Just remember your real friends will walk in when all the "other" walk out. I have never felt so compelled to write to someone I have never met, until Tamra raised her ugly head in your time of loss, that this is almost cathartic for me! IF for some reason Tamra is still on next season, I will utilize that time to take the dog out for "last call" or go make some tea until her ugliness is off!! Peace for you and ride that ride for Jeff! Lisalisa

Gretchen,
I've been meaning to contact you many times now because when I saw you on the show the first time, I felt a kindred spirit as I was going through exactly what you were going through with my husband who had recently been diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma, which is another blood cancer like leukemia.

I know what it's like to sit in that hospital and watch your loved one suffer and knowing there are things only the two of you can share that noone else will understand. Being the caregiver while a loved one is going through cancer is something you cannot expect others to understand because it's overwhelming the amount of things you have to keep in check from getting the right doctors, meds, doctor appointments, maintaining proper diet, providing comfort, etc.

My only advice to you is not to let those negative people into your life that bear you ill-will (especially Tamra). Focus on staying positive and know that the relationship you had with Jeff was YOURS and no one elses. That will help you get through this difficult time.

Gretchen,

Vicki and Tamara should be ashamed of themselves. They are so jealous of you and anyone else that takes the light from them! We all have light. Why do they need to put you down when they have done just what they accuse you of doing.

Gretchen,

My father passed from cancer in 1992 when I was 14, and like your situation, he was in the hospital for months at a time. The thing about cancer and seeing someone suffer is never understandable by strangers until they go through it. It is the silent killer, and yes, sometimes people do pull through and go into remission, but unfortunately the cure has not been found. The cure for you is to stay dear to your family and fans and take care of you first. You know your boundary for what you can and cannot handle, so for the 5% that we did get to see I think you carried yourself just fine. I can't say to you that with time it gets easier. I am also 30 years old and I have a 2-year old daughter. The day she was born was a blessing but also bittersweet because my father was not there to meet her and get to know her. On the other hand, if it weren't for my father's passing my mother never would have met this amazing man who has been like a father to me since 1994. Think about this...my father died in 1992 and my mom remarried in 1994...you can only imagine the judgment and terrible things that people would say and how they treated us different. Looking back it was the best thing my mom wanted to do for herself and this many years later is still the best thing in her life besides us 3 kids and all the grandkids :)!!

Keep your spirits up and bless your heart.

Gretchen,

Just this weekend I saw the last episode where Jeanna said Jeff had lost his battle with Cancer. I am so very sorry for your loss. My dad battled cancer and lost his battle many years ago. My mom was 14 years younger and people complained about her taking a vacation shortly after his death and Marrying another man within 11 months. Let me tell you something, you must be true to yourself and take care of #1! I know you are in a lot of pain but you are young and have a lot of years ahead of you. Focus on the good times you had with Jeff. You will know when you are ready to move on in the dating world. You have a good head on your shoulders so you will survive!!! Just remember, God is the only one who can Judge a person so ignore certain people who have called you a gold digger, etc... They are just jealous that you were always happy and upbeat in front of them. If you don't have a Motorcycle license, go take a class then take that beautiful Harley out for a ride!!! Jeff will be with you in spirit!!

Gretchen…I was heartbroken to hear about Jeff. You are in my thoughts and prayers during this hard time. I know what it is like to love an older man….I used to see someone who was 24 years older than me, and he was caring and unbelievably generous. I believe it is our fate to love, no matter who the person is, what the age, or the circumstances. I admire you for being so open with your relationship on TV…people can learn a lot form that….and the most important being to NOT JUDGE. No one understands your unique relationship but you. Stay strong. You are loved by many.

Gretchen,
After reading your blog post, I wanted to let you know a couple of things. First, anyone would be LUCKY to have you as their caretaker. You have proven to be a sincere, caring person and very unlike most of the other ladies on the show (save for Jeana and Lynne). Please try and avoid absorbing people's negativity toward you that simply don't have the capacity to understand. People like Tamra and Vicki have an emotional deficiency that will handicap them through the rest of their lives. You however, will rise up above all of this pain you've been through and will be remembered as the housewife with heart, long after the show ends.

Keep your head held high and never stop having fun. Your positive spirit is touching so many people, just don't let the judgemental people get into your head.

Gretchen,
After reading your blog post, I wanted to let you know a couple of things. First, anyone would be LUCKY to have you as their caretaker. You have proven to be a sincere, caring person and very unlike most of the other ladies on the show (save for Jeana and Lynne). Please try and avoid absorbing people's negativity toward you that simply don't have the capacity to understand. People like Tamra and Vicki have an emotional deficiency that will handicap them through the rest of their lives. You however, will rise up above all of this pain you've been through and will be remembered as the housewife with heart, long after the show ends.

Keep your head held high and never stop having fun. Your positive spirit is touching so many people, just don't let the judgemental people get into your head.

Gretchen,
I think you are amazing.You could tell that Jeff and you had something very special. I have watched the show from the beginning and Vicki is all about herself and has no heart. Tamara is just jealous of you and you need positive people around you. Keep Jeanna and Lynn close, they are true friends. You are in my prayers. Have fun on the Harley!!!!

When I read your blog, it was all a long, repetitious blog of "Nobody can know what I've been through!" Well, sweetie pie, many of us have been through similar, much longer episodes of spousal illness without the lake trips, the casino weekend, the spas, private shopping trips, dinner parties, horse races, hat shopping and getting disgustingly drunk and flirting with a young man. We had no wealth, no bling, no fantastic wardrobes, and no time to slather on eye make up before dealing with a medical attendant in our homes. You're very pretty, and will probably find someone else as shallow as you are to milk money out of in the near future.