I have been spending a lot more time with Tamra and Tammy (and all the Housewives in fact) over these past few months since our filming during the summer. Yes, they were catty to me at first, but it's not that way at all now. We get together for lunch, interviews, cocktails, and also e-mail each other often these days. In fact, on New Year's Eve, Tammy, Jeana, and I spent it together celebrating 2008! Jeana has really helped loop me into the group — I had called her a few months back and asked for her help. You have to understand that the Housewives had so much time to bond together before I joined the show. I didn't blame them for being cautious toward me — I probably would have been also. Thank God it's not that way now, and thank you, Jeana, for your friendship.

Billy, Billy, Billy ...

Billy's avoidance on the "Are you my boyfriend" question really made me wonder just what the heck am I doing?! I'm not really as upset with Billy as much as I am with myself. I'm an idiot! What the heck am I doing? Do I want to be loved so badly that I would contemplate compromising myself and my beliefs? Why am I so weak and why can't I be stronger? I've been away from Colin's father for almost 16 years now and have had two long term (four and five year) relationships during that time frame — David from San Clemente (you saw me move my things out of our home on one episode) and David from New York that just visited and BBQ'd in my back yard. Both of them are still my very good friends. I love their families and we have remained close over the years.