Simon Barney

Simon talks about his relationship and defends his so-called "controlling" behavior.

on Dec 11, 20090

 

This week we see Lynne getting a face lift, and personally, I didn't think she needed it. But as always, Dr. Ambe did a wonderful job. Dr. Ambe is actually Tamra’s doctor and the only plastic surgeon I trust with her. So Lynn was in good hands when Tamra referred her.

Wow! It's back to trashing Simon this week - all cast members report. I received so many calls and emails from my friends the night this episode aired. They all said the same thing. Have you changed, that's not you! That's right - it's not me. I seemed to be labeled controlling by the story teller this season. I have often heard that the camera doesn't lie. Well I guess it was lying the previous season when my wife did whatever she wanted, and I never said a word. Unfortunately people have judged me personally and professionally for what they saw from her the first two years on a drama-related show. So this year I decided to protect my family and myself. My wife going on a girls trip with the housewives? Hmmm? Last year the girls all went to Las Vegas, and the year before San Diego. Sadly, in Vegas Vicki ended up in a very compromising position with some guy she met while out in a night club. Fortunately Donn an Vicki prevailed and are still together. But I can’t afford to have something like that to happen to me and my family. I have three innocent children to think about. So this year I am protective. And if you want to call it controlling, so be it.

The phone call between Vicki and Tamra about the Florida trip was interesting. My wife and I don't get to take vacations together much, especially with the kids, school, and work. So that is why when we get the chance, we go somewhere together and rekindle our relationship. I would have no problem if my wife was going out of the town with a group of girls with good martial values (excluding Lynne and Alexis) and without the staff egging them on to misbehave. Vicki and Donn vacation alone all the time. That seems to work for them. Through the years we have had many married friends that take separate girls or guys trips apart. To tell the truth, most of them committed adultery and are divorced now. I would be devastated if my wife was away on camera and in a bar somewhere telling some man, "My girls want to come out and play."

We next see Gretchen and Slade going to motorcycle class. As a rider for 36 years, I was glad to see them take this course. Riding is very dangerous if you don't know what you are doing. However, I thought Gretchen’s flirting was inappropriate to her boyfriend who is in the room. I guess I'm old fashioned and Slade is a bigger man than me.

Golf! What can I say? Golfing is a very difficult sport. But in front of a camera, impossible. My hat goes off to the PGA players with all the cameras and spectators. We had a blast and laughed all day. The day soon slipped into a conversation about an upcoming Florida trip. Donn was very vocal about not being invited. He was right, Vicki did not invite him. I guess he forgot about the cell phone conversation I had with him from La Perla a week before. I called him from there to see why he didn’t show to the lingerie show. I then told him about all of us going to Florida and said he better be coming. Vicki happened to be next to me and sounded in, "He’s not invited." Back at the golf course, you can see I was defending Donn at the club house. Not once did I say their relationship wasn't normal. Donn and I have had many conversations about this exact thing over the years. I know how he really feels.

 

123 comments
junebug
junebug

Hey this is acting is what he's trying to say!!!Dont believe everything you see and hear on t.v!!!

junebug
junebug

Hello Simon, Im sorry you are getting so much grief you are growing spiritually!Keep praying!God will not stir you wrong!!!!!

Viewer 1,205,255
Viewer 1,205,255

Simon says the Tamra-Gretchen thing is a dead horse and he wants everyone to stop beating it, and then he immediately launches into an explanation of how he can tell when Gretchen is lying.

You can't have it both ways, dude.

Me
Me

Simon's an ass

naro
naro

Simon, I do not think you are controlling! You are a very smart and sensible man. Any woman should be lucky to have you as a husband. I, myself have a husband just like you and I love him to death. I am really sad to hear about your divorce :( but wish you a good luck.

Henney
Henney

Reality TV= divorce. Was it worth it?

shaztamcguire
shaztamcguire

Relationships are like jello. If you hold on too tight, they slip through your fingers. You can call is "protecting my family" (but that totally gives Tamra NO credit for being able to take care of herself) or whatever you want to call it, but look what happened. Somewhere along the way you overstepped your boundary. I like the scene where Tamra gets back into the real estate business. She finally has something she can get excited about.

J. Craig
J. Craig

Simon.... I don't think you are controlling at all. You just know what you want, and what you stand for. I must ask however, what are you doing being married to Tamra?????? She is self absorbed, self-serving, a backstabber, and does not hesitate to put all of your dirty laundry out in the street for all to see, and then has the audacity to boo-hoo about it and pull that poor poor Me crap. I think you should get out while you can, and hopefully get custody of your beautiful children before she raises some more Ryans out of them.

I also agree, I would be very wary of Vicky. She is the real control freak of the show, and how can she dictate who has a good marriage and who does not. I did not fall for her "Renewing of Vows" skit at all. She certainly made sure EVERYONE knew who paid for the trip, how many carats the ring was, who was treating who, etc. etc. Poor Don needed as much of that Conch as he could devour after Vicky's constant castration of him. Lots of Luck!

butterfly23
butterfly23

Simon I really liked you last season. You seem to have it all that a woman would want in a man. I know that no person is perfect. I just wanted to point out that this season that I notice that you don't laugh or smile like you use to. I could tell that you had changed or was unhappy. I thought that Tamara was very childish last season for how she was treating Gretchen. She should really just leave Gretchen alone and work on her family. I wish that you guys could work it out and not get a divorce. Instead of you guys blaming each other, search yourselves to see what it is that tearing the relationship apart. You two are such a beautiful couple, don't let the current cirrcumstances break what you have build up for many years. Love is stronger than money.

jenn121121
jenn121121

I am so sad, just saw where you filed for divorce

Lori Mc
Lori Mc

Hey Simon, I think your on the right track with regards for your marriage but you and Tamra need to stop with Gretchen. Who cares about her and her ex's relationship. You guys do not need to be the ones to show the true story. The fact is that they had some sort of relationship and what that intails in no ones buisness. I think you should trust your wife, I think she is on the same page as you. She may not be my favourite but I think she would not ruin her family for the world.

Alison from Alabama
Alison from Alabama

Hey Laura Dallas TX,

He thinks he is too! Pretty is, pretty does. Be careful what you hope for.

Laura Dallas TX
Laura Dallas TX

Simon you are soooo Hott! I am 23 and I hope to marry a man with your wisdom one day! love you & Tamra

Dan B
Dan B

Simon I back you 100% about protecting your family. When two or more women starts talking the husband's most of the time is talked about like trash.

CC
CC

Im impressed with your blog, its nice to hear your thoughts.

With that being said, I feel that you and Tamra should have declined Vicky's trip and went on a trip of your own. I feel sorry for Vicky, I feel like you guys were really trash talking her. Not nice.

You have a beautiful family and I wish you the best this holiday season.

kaycee214
kaycee214

Well since the men are blogging now, are they going to be on the reunion show?? And when did it become "The Housewives and Husbands of Orange County"???

lmf554
lmf554

Simon, I agree with you to an extent. I think it is right to do things to improve your marriage. BUT, I think you are trying too hard to force Tamara to be the person you want her to be. This may be a quick band-aid approach, but in the end it is going to do more damage to your marriage than it's worth. Let Tamara be the outspoken, fun person you married.

J N J
J N J

YOUR VERY LEVEL HEADED. YOU REALLY TEACH A MALE WAT IT IS TO BE A MAN AND HUSBAND AND A FATHER. YOU COULD TEACH SO MANY OTHERS A LOT. THANK YOU FOR STICKING TO YOUR MORALS AND PROTECTING YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU COULD PROBABLY TEACH SOME OF THE WOMAN OW TO BE LADYLIKE AS WELL.

Hasmik Chobanyan
Hasmik Chobanyan

Love u Simon, u come across as a good family man, I do not see anything controlling in you. You just have good values.

BusyButterfly
BusyButterfly

Everybody is responsible for this week’s drama. First off, Vicki knew that two of the wives don’t travel without their husbands. So, Vicki should have known better than to suggest a girls’ weekend. Vicki set herself up for disappointment. However, Tama and Alexis should simply have said “thank you, but no thanks” to the suggestion of the girls’ weekend.

Simon is in a power struggle with Vicki with both jockeying for control. Simon suggested that Vicki is insecure, but he should take a close look at himself. Tamra promised Vicki she wouldn’t make a big deal out of Vicki not wanting to go on the boat ride, and then three minutes later she threw Vicki under the bus. Why on earth would Vicki want to go on a boat ride where she would be the odd woman out. The couples were off kissing and hugging. Obviously it wasn’t comfortable for Lynn. The guys don’t even like Vicki so why did they make a big issue when she chose not to participate?

pinkbarbie784325
pinkbarbie784325

I do understand what you are saying, but in so many words all you are saying is you don't trust your wife. Honestly I understand why because she does down your relationship when she's in that confession room. Whatever tactics you are using does not seem to be working because on every episode your wife seems to be pulling away from you. Personally I feel you married her for her looks and you know without money you cannot keep her so you are controlling.

Honestly I would not trust Tamera either because she's not loyal to you, Vicki or anybody else. Well maybe her son but that's all. Vivki seems to be a loyal and honest person who happens to obviously make more money than you, I think you should want your wife around her more than anything. Because I bet if Vicky had a son Ryans age, he would not be doing the things Ryan does. And that's because Tamera is weak. Vicky is strong and she would not tolerate that behavior, so having a strong wife is not so bad after all, right?

Tunisha
Tunisha

Simon, I love that you are protecting your family because it isn't the cameras that lie, it's the editing that does. I also love that you don't back down to Vickie (which many of the cast members seem to do because she barks the loudest) and speak your mind to her face. Good for you.

Toni Wilson
Toni Wilson

It was a girls trip. If you want a trip with your wife plan it and pay for it. I realize you are tight on cash but crashing the girls only trip and bashing your wife's friend in public was bad form.

kristineb
kristineb

Hi Simon, I just wanted to let you know I understand what you are doing. My husband and I have been married for 25 years. About a year ago we had some problems. And now he has vowed to make it up to me, if it takes the rest of his life. However with that comes, being over protective, and over attentive. In many ways I appreciate it, and at times it does make me feel very special. But there are some down sides to this. I also have a friend I have know for 20 years. He does not like the way she behaves and FORBIDS me to go anywhere alone with her. I just turned 45 years old and my father has been dead since I was 16 years old. I do not need another father. It has caused some problems between us, but we are trying to work on it. The thing you have to remember is you love and trust your wife to make the right decisions when your not around. We do not travel without each other, just do not think there is a need. However I use to have a girls night out once in a while, now I am lucky to go shopping without my husband. That has made me somewhat resentful. I just wanted to remind you to give your wife some space. We women need that. Take care and good luck.

Lisa S
Lisa S

I thought a lot of your blog and respected what you were saying, until you started in on Gretchen!

lizzy2707
lizzy2707

simon i love your blog!!! and completely understand your perspective, you're traditional and a lot of people dont see that. And btw im surprised vicki is still even married... but your right everyone's relationship is unique. but if i was Donn i wouldve ran along time ago why be with someone who never invites you anywhere; almost like they have a better time without you. anyways love the blog and def agree with you and if vicki is getting involved in your marriage i would tell tamra to get new friends. Friends like Vicki can be poison to a marriage...

Melissa F
Melissa F

Simon, my husband thinks just like you and I would not have married him otherwise! You seem like a good family man, keep it up.

mmc
mmc

Hi Simon, I do look forward to your blogs. While I don't think you are controlling and I agree with getting tough with Ryan for his own good, I think you made a boo boo to go on the girls trip .I agree that when you have young children it really is nice to get away by yourselves but in this case it was Vickis plan.If some of the wives didn't want to go without their husbands thats ok, but Vicki shoul have been asked about it. I really think you and Tamra, Alexis and Jim, And Gretchen and Slade owe her an apology. Believe me I don't stick up for Vicki much, but if you are as decent as I think you are you all will apologize.

mmc
mmc

Hi Simon, I do look forward to your blogs. While I don't think you are controlling and I agree with getting tough with Ryan for his own good, I think you made a boo boo to go on the girls trip .I agree that when you have young children it really is nice to get away by yourselves but in this case it was Vickis plan.If some of the wives didn't want to go without their husbands thats ok, but Vicki shoul have been asked about it. I really think you and Tamra, Alexis and Jim, And Gretchen and Slade owe her an apology. Believe me I don't stick up for Vicki much, but if you are as decent as I think you are you all will apologize.

Ocgirl2
Ocgirl2

Simon, I appreciate you sharing your point of view. You definitely had valid reasons for not wanting your wife to go on the all girls trip by herself. That being said, you clearly knew it was a girls getaway and that the men weren't invited. If you were uncomfortable with the trip, you should have asked Tamra to decline the invitation. I think your coming along was meant to stick it to Vicki and make her mad. That is just childish. Declining an invitation that you are not comfortable with--totally fine. Going on the trip to create drama and p*ss people off--immature!

Mocha#01
Mocha#01

I honestly feel your relationship with your wife is sincere. You and your wife truely love each other and obviously respect each others wishes. Whatever the situation was, it happened, it has passed and you did what you needed to do. It was a decision that both you and your wife agreed upon. I don't understand what the big deal is and why there is so much controversy. Vikki could of spend time with Lynne while the other housewives spent time with there better halfs.

emerald2kt
emerald2kt

Simon, i think you are right on with your marriage. If anybody is controlling it is Vickie and we have seen how she esmasculated Don last year. I can see your family is very importanto to you and you love your wife very much. I will say though she has come across as a mean girl these last few seasons and I am not sure if that is because of her relationship with Vickie. For myself friends are important and loyalty is a quality that i respect in my friends and hold very roudly as one of my own values, from what I have seen of Tamara has not been the case.

In regards to Ryan, you are right on with everything you are saying to her about Ryan. Ryan comes across as a little slithering snake and your children don't need him around. He needs tough love and needs to experience reprecussions from his behavior. I think Ryan is a very sad pathetic little boy that is on a path that he either ends up in prison or seriously hurts someone becuase of his actions.

I know you probably don't really need affirmation of your beliefs and values in regatds to family and marriage from outsiders, but I am cheering you on.

You go simon

sd
sd

ok SIMON... you have some good points but i watch the show every week and you are a bit to much.... you dont give her any space what so ever... you need to chill out.. it was a girl's getaway... why would you want to go??? you are to controlling.... CHILLLLLLL OUTTTTTT.... and please stay out of the girls drama....

Cindy Tagliaferri
Cindy Tagliaferri

Hi, I think u are absolutely gorgeous and I would marry you anyday. So sad to see the tension between you and Tamra.I think u Love her very much hence the reason of being protective and always giving advice. I think it comes off as being controlling but you are not, you just want whats best for your family. I wish you guys the best, sorry to see the house up for sale, but its all material things, Love and Family comes first and I hope you all can save the marridge. One more thing, as a Mom, please let Tamara handle Ryan, only if she asks for help give an opinion about him. Try not to give her ultimatums because it looks as though she feels backed up into a corner to have to choose between her son and husband....

Simon, you aren't the boss of everything.
Simon, you aren't the boss of everything.

Simon, For a minute I thought you might be the sensible one. But after I watched the previews for the upcoming show I realized that you are that controlling person. You are just as two-faced as some of the women. You pretend to be "buddies" but you also talk about others. I think you seem to think you are some should be able to call all the shots. You must forget that you are only 1/2 of a couple. You disappoint me. Tamra has never been my favorite because she has become mean-spirited & consumed. I think she is unhappy @ home as well as within her social circle.

PA
PA

Hey Simon, I think that you are doing a great job protecting your family. My husband is the same way. Let people think what they want to think. I can see how proud you are and hope that there are other guys like you that take a stand for what is right. I enjoy watching you and Tamara every week. KEEP ON BEING THE MAN.......YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!

new york,new york
new york,new york

Simon you are a great, great man! DON'T CHANGE FOR NO ONE! Let the haters be, they are just jealous they don't have someone like you in their lives!

Judy Bee
Judy Bee

You think Vicki is controlling? Hello Pot, meet kettle.

CourtneyH2009
CourtneyH2009

If you wanted to get away with your wife...you should have gone on another trip or at another time. Instead of crashing a girls trip, have your own trip. Nothing wrong with that.

N Chicago
N Chicago

Simon, If you and Tamra don't want to go on vacation without each other, that's your decision. She shouldn't have agreed to participate in the "Girls' Weekend" then. Same with Alexis. It was wrong of you, Jim, and Slade to crash Vicky's trip then talk bad about her. Vicky doesn't owe you anything. You are uptight, and anal. You should ask Lynne for some shrooms and lighten up.

BravoFan99
BravoFan99

Love your blog Simon! I agree with everything you said. Please keep writing your blog!!

coldnmi
coldnmi

Simon- I could tell you were tense and quiet around the get together at the motel and when you were having a drink with Slade and Jim. Why didn't you confront Slade about his so called comments about Tamra. It seems that with Tamra it is okay for her to dish it out but when it is returned that is not okay. I understand if the conversation is with you and her but she chooses to preach about Gretchen's indiscretions continuously to everyone. She never spoke about your children until you had to save money and they cleaned your house or put on the birthday party that you later were mad about. I'm a little tired of reality stars blaming the cameras for portraying you in a different light. Bottom line you characters need to think before you speak. Also, when you said to watch Gretchen's facial expressions for when she lies, why are you watching her? Shouldn't you only be watching your wife's expression and how the conversation affected her? Leave Gretchen and Vicki alone and work on your family. Gretchen is in a totally different environment by not having children and having a boyfriend. Vicki is independent, busy with her career and has grown children. I'm sure you will figure that out if you haven't already.

Carissa
Carissa

Simon, I think you and Tamra are the cutest. You are one of the only couples on the show right now that have a real, down to earth marriage.(Lynn & her husband too). Neither you or Tamra claim to have these holier than thou "values", nor is Tamra tramping around with guys that are obviously taking advantage of her.. gretchen. Vicki and Donns relaionship may work for them, and there is nothing wrong with a girls weekend, but to constantly take vacations alone to me is just strange. but this is just all my opinion. I wish the best for you, Tamra, and your beautiful family!!!

erika_is_love
erika_is_love

It is obvious that you are a bit controlling, untrusting, and insecure when it comes to Tamara. She openly said that she would like to go off with the girls but because you were too “protective” that probably wouldn’t happen. It is very transparent that you do no trust your wife and that falls back on your own insecurities.

If you guys were honest with Vicky and told her that you were financially strapped lately and haven’t really had the opportunity to go on a vacation together, then I’m sure she would have been more open to letting the husbands tag along. In addition, if you were open and told her that it was also difficult juggling work, school, and your children, then I’m sure that Vicky would have been more understanding and maybe even suggested an alternative.

But the truth is: These are all excuses because you wanted to tag along and watch your wife’s every move. If she finds herself in a compromising position, as in the staff “egging” her on to misbehave, or surrounding herself with people who did not have “good marital values,” you should still have enough trust in your wife to make the right decisions. Vicky wanted to indulge in a weekend of shopping, a day at the spa, a night of dancing, etc. After all, the show is called “The Real HOUSEWIVES of Orange County ” and she was trying to get all the HOUSEWIVES together.

To set the record straight, you asked Tamara, “Are we going to be doing things together?” – why would you ask her that if your intentions were to spend some quality time with your wife and “rekindle the relationship?” If it is so important for you guys to be home with the kids, then why couldn’t you stay home that weekend and spend some quality time with your children, and let her enjoy a weekend away with the girls?

Who are you to speak on family and marital values when you are putting your wife in the middle of a dispute where she can’t pick a side? You never put your wife in a position where she has to choose between her husband and her child. Regardless of what that Ryan did, you are still the parental figure, and it is obvious that he still has some growing up to do and needs guidance. Or is it a good family value to disown a family member for poor choices that they have made? You were more concerned over the petty things he said out of spite on Facebook then the actual act in itself. Maybe you still have some growing up to do!

Btw, like you and Tamara have not sat down together at a lunch or dinner and discussed one of the other housewives? Now you're being a bit hypocritical because I'm sure we can find footage of that from previous seasons. They had a 5-minute discussion on what you said and they moved on to bigger and better things. By you stating that their relationship was “different” you were implying that their marriage is NOT normal, and Donn read right in-between the lines.

letty
letty

WHATEVER! This show is not about the husbands. I'd be more concerned about what Tamra is saying about YOU on camera! You're so quick to talk about how great your marriage is, yet Tamra's saying it's headed for a divorce on camera? You guys had no business inserting yourself in a girls' weekend, and it did make you all look like control freak husbands. If you didn't want to Tamra to go, you should have left it up to her to back out, not invite yourself! Vicki was not "controlling" as you guys portrayed her to be- it was an add-on to HER trip and she was the organizer. You guys were just plain RUDE, and you can't excuse it away. Stop bashing Vicki for being a strong, independant women who actually contributes financially to her marriage. At least she isn't opportunistic like the other housewives...

Kimmie2
Kimmie2

Hi Simon..everyone is throwing their opinions at you about whether they think you're controlling or not (some good points too btw). But what I was wondering...how does Tamra feel? She's the one who matters, not us. Does Tamra feel you are a bit controlling or not?

OC Fan
OC Fan

Love you and Tamra! I have loved you guys each season and thank you for sharing a piece of your lives! You two were made for each other. Tamra has the best personality and when she is with you, it shines! Many blessings to you and your family...

Lola27
Lola27

I just watched the "Holy Mother Of Balls" video for next week's episode and it never ceases to amaze me how you people can dish it out but you can't take it. You're just like Vicki. I believe it was your wife and Vicki that treated Gretchen so horribly to begin with. Do you really not remember all of the disrespectful and hurtful things Tamra said about Gretchen's relationship with Jeff? Most of it was way below the belt. So Gretchen FINALLY stood up for herself and you couldn't take it. How many lies had your wife told by the time Gretchen decided to defend herself? If your wife just kept her mouth shut and minded her own business to begin with none of this would have happened. Those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!

ArmywifeTX
ArmywifeTX

You are a great couple not so fake like others , be strong together Happy Holidays , we love you guys !!!

mom of four
mom of four

You remind me of my doctor first husband, and I was the typical doctor's wife. Being overly controlling only pushes your spouse away. It does not work when you think you know everything. Be partners in your relationship.