Simon Barney

Simon reacts to his wife's comments and wonders if their marriage can be saved.

on Jan 7, 20100

 

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and have a great New Year. I know the kids and I did.

This week’s episode was all about Vicki and Donn rekindling their marriage. I hope what we saw was real and that they are truly in love again. I would love nothing more than for both of them to be in a happy marriage. Donn has expressed to me over the years that a happy marriage is all he has wanted. Hopefully Vicki has finally realized what she has with a great guy and that the grass is not always greener on the other side. I have to say I shed a tear when Vicki brought out the picture album at dinner. You see, I've been with Donn when he has been upset and heartbroken over his marriage. So it was especially touching to my heart when Vicki reached out to him and showed him love. It would be nice to see all the wives do loving things for their husbands. Good for you Donn and Vicki. I wish you much happiness.

This brings me to Vicki and her influencing my wife. As much as I would like to blame someone for Tamra’s behavior, my wife really is the one that has to take the responsibility for her behavior. I gave up influencing her from the beginning because I trusted her to make the right decisions. Back to Vicki influencing my wife. If someone tells you to jump off a bridge, and you do, who is to blame -- the instigator, or the person that actually jumps?

Tamra has also made her choices in what she has said on the show this season about me, (her husband). My belief is you should never disparage your spouse to anyone for any reason (especially on national TV). All season long, I have been unpleasantly surprised by some of my wife's comments and conversations about me. I have no idea what she says or has said on camera until it airs. If I'm not present, I don't see these scenes until they air unless she tells me about it. And she never tells me about it. Hmmm. More about this to come…

 

474 comments
Number 1 viewer
Number 1 viewer

Simon, I do believe you caused most of the problems in your marriage, you were way too controlling, and I hope in your next relationship that you are completely different than the man you were with Tamara. She couldn't breathe...i do believe she is airing too much of it on TV now, but carma will be back for her.

Best of luck in moving on, let her go, and go be happy with someone else.

nick air jordan jumpman pro
nick air jordan jumpman pro

I don’t like how Tamra spoke about your relationship in a negative way for the public eye to see. But I can see how she was hurting and longing for a little "let go". But there is a time and place for everything. You and your family will hurt from it but will strive to move on in a positive way like you said.

same guy
same guy

Simon,

I don't believe any word Tamra says. These women can't be trusted anymore than a stranger. She seems like she no longer wanted to be in a relationship with you the minute financial troubles started arising. And now she's off to the next free ride. He too, will get burned. Her leaving you was the best thing that ever happened to you. I know because the same thing happened to me. And I am a stronger man for it happening. I wish you the best my friend. Get back on your feet and fight. It took you decades to get to the success you did, it can be attained again if you work hard and fight. Don't let her win this. You're better than her.

Viewer1966
Viewer1966

Simon, I am sorry for what you have gone through and for the daily smacks to the face your ex has dished out. You are better than all this.

Traci2go
Traci2go

Simon, I'm sorry that you're going through such a public breakup/divorce. Vicki didn't help matters although you're ex was going to her and not being honest with you about their converstations. And her saying she was scared of you was just a ploy to get sympathy.

Vicki is however very controlling and thrives on drama. And I hope she continues to put her husband first. All the rings and diamonds in the world don't make a marriage work.

Take care of you're family and yourself.

Tracy

Really Real
Really Real

Simon -

Saw you at Salt Creek Beach today and wanted to say that you look like you're dong well at getting past the unimportant stuff in life, and instead are focusing on your children. Nicely done!

I think it's so important to give children wonderful experiences with each of their parents that they'll always remember.

Best to you -

ryan10
ryan10

Simon,

Wishing you and your kids all the best in the next chapter of your lives.

Catina
Catina

Hello Simon, I never viewed you as a controlling husband. I felt Tamra really spoke poorly of you in that manner, as well as in other things. She is really going to regret it. Maybe not right now, but she will. She is on that band wagon, like you stated she said she can find someone more better looken, with more money and she said to do what ever she wants. Tamra was already trying to live a single life while she was married to you. When you are married it is not your own life any more. You are 2 people that become as 1 period. You are the Head of the home and she is your completer the help meet as you will. I felt you did your best, yes I saw some things that should not have happened on your end, but when your own wife is continually beating you up and down, how else are you going to react. I think the Lord will bless you with a wonderful wife some day and Tamra will see that you are not the one who was all in the wrong as she portrays it to be. I also wanted to build you up a bit as your wife should have done. You are a very goodlooken man, you did your best to provide for them and I felt you did allow your wife her freedom. She just kept forgetting that there were 2 in your marriage not just 1. I know you are probibly still hurting and sometimes replay the whole thing in your head. I really wished my husband was like you, I sure would not have let you go, I would not have beat you down, I definately would have lifted you up daily as a wife should do. My ex-husband was alot like Tamra was with you, he thought he was single and did not like to be home with me and our 2 kids. He forgot real quick that we were married alot when he went out and picken up his nightly sex partners. I divorced him and now he says he see's what he did and wants to make things right if I would just let him come back. NO way that is for sure, the sleeping around was just to much. Just one divorcee to another hold your head up high don't allow her to bring you down any more, and do not allow her to defy you as a man any more. She is not your wife any longer so you get to start a new, go with it and you will be happy once again, for you and for your sweet babies. Good luck and Lord Bless you.

Shamsa
Shamsa

Hi Simon, I think you are wonderful person. You are an amazing Father to those kids. I wish you all the best in this hard time. I only wish that you would find some one with a pure heart and who would treat you with the greatest respect and love. Hope you find your soulmate. Your wife only showed her true colours to you and I am glad that you saw it sooner than later. Wish you all the best in life.

Patricia NYC
Patricia NYC

Hey, Simon. I think it sucks that you're going through this, but like it or not, it's reality, and you'll come out okay. Please take good care of those beautiful children...they're the ones who need it the most. Be well.

BCmom
BCmom

I am so sorry to hear of this next chapter you are begining without Tamra. But i have to admit, from what's i've seen on the show and heard off set, I think it's best since you deserve to be treated with respect. I totally agree with your way of thinking and being conservative and respectful is a strength and not a weakness. I think Tamra's behaviour was weak and she was dealing with bigger demons than you could control.

I'm sure life holds amazing things in store for you Simon.

Christa M
Christa M

Simon, I am so sorry that you are going through this...From watching the show I really grew to admire you. In fact I do feel like you really loved Tamra and tried to protect her from the fakeness that is reality t.v. friends... I would be very happy to have someone like you in my life that had my back the way you did with her..... I would not give up trying to make my marriage work and my husband and children would always be leagues ahead of my so-called"friends"...I can't imagine talking about your husband in such a dismal way on nat'l tv that was just so mean...It seems that Tamra got caught up in the "hollywood of it all"...so sorry!!!I'm sure in time you will find a better match for you, I really do think you are a stand up guy...I hope that your children will come through this okay and that you do find lots of happiness in the near future...:-)

isabella20
isabella20

Simon, I really feel for you and what your going through. I too have noticed a change in Tamera when the years passed by. I like Tamera i do have to admit that but i dont think its fair that they mad you seem like the bad guy in the picture, There are always two sides to a story and people cant judge you without being in your house hold. Im so sorry because i judged you in the beggining and you know what i was wrong!!!! I too went through a divorce and its not easy. You seem like your a great father and were a great husband. SO with that being said .. keep your head up high and move on with pride. Someone will come back into your life when you least expect it. God bless you Simon and your family!!!!

Mary D
Mary D

I truly cannot believe the sadness I feel for you and have felt since I saw the end of the show. Although, I have several opinions about how Tamra treated you with an enormous amount of disrespect on national television, I feel if I were to go into all of them, it would sound like I was talking bad about her and judging her. With that and all that I viewed, I have decided to faithfully pray for her. I fear for her, that she will look back with much regret, for choosing to end her marriage. And, NO MARRIAGE is perfect, however you were absolutely right in wanting to preserve the private matters of your marriage. In most successfull marriages that have endured the trial...most would say, they too kept their "issues" between themselves and did not feel it necessary to inlclude friends, family..or national tv. It is my sincere hope that you do seek out Christ,as HE is the only one that will ever be able to help you and ease your pain through this process. I have absolutely no idea why your situation has touched my heart with sadness but with that, I will keep you and your family in my heartfelt prayers. With a few words of encouragement for you...there was never anything in all of the seasons that you displayed on t.v. that warranted Tamras behavior. Your values and ideas about the respect and privacy of marriage are almost identical to my husbands and I appreciate what he has taught me and feel that it has kept us out of the "limelight" and has kept our marriage private. Remember that God sees all and knows all and I truly feel that Tamra will look back and regret her decisions. I am sorry for your loss.

DoubleOhHeaven
DoubleOhHeaven

I think the show portrays all the cast as bad. If they didn't then the show would be boring. When signing up for a show you have to know that you won't be shown in your best light. My favorite is Jeana because she chose to rise above the bitchiness and that is probably why she wasn't on the other seasons. Her daughter also seems well rounded and it shows good parenting. Back to Simon - I thought he was portrayed as controlling and a bit mean. I think in this blog it explains it all. He isn't going to apologize for who he is. Frankly I think Tamra was and always be all wrong for him. Their personalities do not mesh, Simon is more honest and serious (not a bad thing) and Tamra sort of embellishes the truth and is all about the superficial and ego. Simon even admitted that Tamra was very insecure and she is the most beautiful woman he knows. Sad, that she said she could find a better looking mate when her husband thinks she is the cat's meow. I guess Tamra had Simon fooled and it's better now than never that they split. I think Simon needs someone more secure with who they are, independent, less sensitive, loves everything about him and is honest as he is. I am totally against people marrying young because then the children come next and then it's "we stayed together for the kids." They only end up being unhappy and have more frown lines when it doesn't work out. Good luck to you Simon.

Vicky0701
Vicky0701

Simon, I think you are great, drop dead gorgeous and a great dad. I do not think you are controlling and you made perfect sense in all your pleas to her. You deserve a great woman to make you happy and enjoy your children with you in the future. Keep your head up ! Its your turn now ! I know my name being Vicky isn't a favorite of yours.LOL Not a Vicki OC fan either.. Ever near Tampa Florida let me know.. :) smiles !

lainefa
lainefa

You wife caused the rift between you and Vicki. Your wife never told you how she felt. Seems as if she wanted your marriage to fail, as she told Vicki instead of you what she felt...hmmmm. Control your way out of that one

Elizabeth  Brown
Elizabeth Brown

Sadly, Simon, you are the epitome of a controlling (verging on abusive) husband. It's horrifying to watch- and I have to assume that we aren't seeing the worst of it on tv. Tamara is far from perfect- in fact, she is quite annoying, petty, insecure, shallow, and trashy. However, no one deserves to be emotionally berated and belittled the way you did to Tamara (if you need examples, I'd be happy to give them). And I have to say that I find Vicki to be off the charts annoying and immature- but you are cruel to her and clearly threatened by her relationship with your (ex) wife. Go get some therapy before you further jeopardize your children.

denyse aire
denyse aire

You deserve better. You are a little overboard on your controlling ways but Tamra is a very mean and dirty person. you can tell by the way she treated some of the other housewives. Very immature and actually a little trashy. I can imagine the show changed her. there is no real other direction for you to go at this point... other than up.

Pisto
Pisto

Come on people you guys didnt see how tamara change so much from season 1 she change alot.She use to be my favorite housewife but the cameras got to her head she went hollywood its her fault if she really wanted to save her marriage she would of left just like the other housewives left the show.Its not Simons fault its Tamara fault she pick TV over her Kids and Husband..

brenda smith
brenda smith

I'm on Team Simon too! I never felt he was controlling. He is a man of integrity that wants to be respected by his wife the way he respects her. If Tamra was putting her husband first instead of worring about her friends then it would have helped her marriage. He has a right as her husband to state his opinions on how she dresses if he feels it's inappropriate. He's more of a conservative man and she should respect that. there is nothing wrong with sticking to your values and wishing others would stay the heck out of your marriage. I do believe those negative viral people can influence some and they need to be dropped like flies as friends! Tamra definately had that with Vicki. Vicki never should have said anything to Tamra but that she should do whatever she can to work on her marriage. Sad the show did this to them.

Stephan from California
Stephan from California

Stand strong Simon. You are right to expect your wife to dress and act like a married mother of four. She is responsible to her children and should not be running around drinking, partying and engaging in catfights like a teenager. You have conducted yourself admirably throughout the show, but I hope you now keep yourself and kids away from the destructive influence of Bravo and these women.

Barefoot
Barefoot

Hi Simon .. It was hard to watch last night show I can't imagine what it must be live to live threw this and to be on tv .

I understand and agree with alot of things you are saying and yes I am a female ..there are some who do understand a mans point of view .

The only thing I do want to say is in Vicky defence and yes she is a bully but I think she just can't help it it's just her personality to be so blunt . You want to yell at the tv and say back off Vicky .. But Vicky only knows your private life because Tamra tells her .

When you only hear one side of the story then sometimes it's harder to understand the other persons point of view .

I think in my opinion Tamra is to wild for you , and clearly your not happy .

I do wish all of you peace ,love and happyniss , life is short so don't waste it on drama .

Viewer 12472938729020
Viewer 12472938729020

There are always two sides to a story and I can see your point, as well as, Tamra's. It's not good that your marriage and the mishaps played out on the show, rather that showing more of you people as a family, doing family things, like families do. Instead maybe too many cocktail parties, gossip, and time away from what really mattered. Man, I hate catty women and gossip; not a good thing. :) I do have to say one thing, I kinda seen this coming as you both seem like two totally different people-Tamra's the attention loving, loud girl and you are the more reserved and unhappy looking husband. Good or bad, who knows, but you have the children and when I did see you with yours, it seemed quite genuine. However, I feel Tamra was robbed of that comfortable opportunity with her troubled son, Ryan.

Wish you all the best Simon, Tamra, and the beautiful family you produced while you were in love. God bless.

Crazy Kim
Crazy Kim

Simon,

I think that you are very controlling over your wife, and what she does in her daily living. I do however feel that with a wife like you have, and having your dirty laundry aired it must be very hard. I hope that for your children that what ever the road leads to you remember that she is the Mother of your Children and you need to stay civil when you are around her infront of them.

From one very bad divorce parent to another. Kim

helen m
helen m

Simon i hope that you say your sorry to vickie as you can tell your wife is the only one to blame for what she does , vickie never told your wife what to do and the only thing she asked of your wife was to tell you the truth but because your wife had lied to you she did not stand up for vickie and still lied to you that night. so everyone of the other wives thinks that vickis the bad one ,when really they the ones who look bad for not lokking at the person vickis really is when she asked to help and she does she the one that get hurt in the end because she was asked to help , she never really said anything bad about anyone of the women or you , i wish you the best of luck ,may gos bless you and that he opens your eyes to the truth god bless

Karen Birnie
Karen Birnie

Hmmm.. I am reading thru the blogs one after the other and at first... it seemed you were not accepting any blame, which would be ridiculous. But I see that in fact.. you realize there are 2 sides to blame whenever a relationship fails. My issue with reality tv is this... you all are well aware that what you do and say will be aired for the world to see and hear, so the idea that you felt she should have never said the things she did on camera is strange to me. I understand what you are trying to say, but think about it. These chats were not her sitting in front of the camera by herself talking trash... they were with members of her family and the cast on any given day. And also... like she said when that blow out with Vicki happened..sometimes we vent to our loved ones and friends and say things we can't say aloud or haven't had time to truly think over... and Tamra was also right in thinking that what she told Vicki in confidence... was to NEVER be thrown in YOUR FACE. That was horrible. As for your controlling ways.. well... my father is a very controlling man. He rules his wife entirely, and tried to do that to me all my life, so I know quite well what that is. I think that to a degree.. you are a bit controlling. I wouldn't say it was overbearing, just on the frustrating side. It appeared to be the thing that irked Tamra most. As you said.. WE ARE JUST VIEWING A PART OF YOUR LIFE. So, its possible that you weren't always like that. I agree that letting ANYONE tell you what to do or who to be is wrong... but that is a double edged sword Simon.. you told her that Vicki tried to rule her and then you did the same telling her not to listen to her or associate with her no? I wish you all the best, but I think it is the end for your marriage, it doesn't seem that it will make it, but... the issues that got you where you both are now.. are more between you and Tamra than what the show and cast influenced I am sure.

Loco
Loco

I am glad to hear that you "didn't" do anything wrong!!!! Must be nice. ")

jujugal
jujugal

i am in many ways like tamra but watching her behavior this season... i am on TEAM SIMON. good luck to you and your family whatever direction life leads you.even if it is to stay with tamra and work it out.

Prudence
Prudence

Who are you, fine, sexy, intelligent thing? I bonded with you when the cameras started focusing on yours and Tamar's marriage. You are wise and mature. You put your family, wife and children first. You carry yourself with great dignity and humility infront of the cameras. And you are just simply a superstar. You should have your own show and to hell with Tamara. My heart especially leaped when I saw you sending the children off to school as they rode away on bicycles. What a beautiful neighborhood you live in. And then you got worried and got in the car and caught up with them to ask them if they are okay. That was a touching moment and I won't forget it for a long time. I live in nyc and I am a 47 year old spinster who never had children. And I envy Tamara for having a good husband like you. And I think she is crazy for not appreciating you.

Crystal Nicole
Crystal Nicole

Simon,

Not that my opinion (or anybody's) opinion should matter to you but. TAMRA LOVES YOU. You say over and over again in your blog that she shouldn't have talked about you to other people, especially on national T.V. but are you not doing the same thing by blogging about it? Is that not hypocrisy? I think that Tamra had that conversation with your best friend because she knows he's close to you. It seems to me that she avoids confrontation with you. Her bringing it up to YOUR best friends suggests to me that she was crying out for help. Maybe she thought your friend could give her some insight into how you were feeling. It's a simple case of lack of communication. I don't think she's fallen out of love with you or she wouldn't have been so upset in her conversation with her mother. I really hope you guys work it out. You should focus on your family and your marriage...sounds to me like you two just need some good old fashioned counseling so you can get back to communicating effectively again. I'll be praying for the two of you. Best wishes!

SC Coast Housewife
SC Coast Housewife

This is what saved my marriage when I was considering divorce from my husband a year ago..

Please don't give up. Get a NLT Bible (speaks plain English and gets the point across,) Read the book of Proverbs and Corinthians!!! I promise, you will get pure guidance from the Creator of LoveJ He designed it and only He can guide you through it!

Long Beach viewer
Long Beach viewer

Simon, you invented the word "controlling". Just look at your blog: "I quit influencing my wife...". You need a doormat for a wife and unfortunately for you, Tamra is not one.

carol faires
carol faires

I thought watching last nites episode, that it could work for you and tamara,,,she loves you,,,what about the ring tatto???please try for all of your sake ,,,the grass is not always greener....carol

TAMMY A
TAMMY A

the best of emotional abusers will make themselves look like a saint to everyone who is not their wife, even counselors!! it is nearly impossible for someone (even bravo!) who is not living with this person everyday to see what their like day in and out... but a perfect example of how saint simon "respects and honors her and never talks bad about her" is right in these blogs; he posts a link to the video where "tammy" talks about how she sleeps in, he purposely uses this clip against her to make her look like a liar for saying in her blog she wakes up at 730. and who really knows? you? me? no, only them, and furthermore who even cares, except simon cared, he cared enough to find he video & post the link PASSIVELY aggressively calling her a liar and attacking her character. there are millions of examples in between every line of his blogs where he does this. so actually simon u ARE a hypocrite :)

go figure.

Bunny
Bunny

I agree with "Divorcing And Now Broke!" (see above)

Lawyers are the mold on the scum on the amoeba on scum of rat sh*t! You're absolutely right, D-A-N-B, why should they be concerned with your feelings or emotions, or if you lose absolutely every single thing you worked all your life for, including the shirt on your back? Why would that possibly even phase them? They wouldn't be moved one iota if you blew your brains out in their waiting - room with a noose around your neck, unless, of course, it meant they won't get paid the $500 in 'costs' to photocopy and mail the (only) two-page useless letter they wrote for your case. (Which, as they would remind you - would not be covered by the $50,000 retainer you previously had to pay them...) These are people that wouldn't think nothing of kicking a crippled dog if it was in their way; or eating a 12-course meal while homeless children watched. They're not human, they're a satanic life form preying on of us in the most evil ways, and unfortunate for us, there is no Kryptonite in sight...

MissTheClassyHWNowALLTrash
MissTheClassyHWNowALLTrash

I think that your true behavior showed on in all seasons- controlling and clueless! While I think Tamra is like a girl in highschool trying to be popular by trash talking all the people around her because of her own insecurities- I think that obviously in her time of being a single mom and needing stability and MONEY she settled for you- Her relationship with her son strained because he wouldn't let you control him like Tamra does. While clearly now you are losing all credibility w/your employment/wealth (even with the show has ANYONE heard of your so called Tequila brand/company??) Your pride is scorned- solid marriage or not.... you should take a lesson from Donn because he is a stand up MAN for which I have the utmost respect for with or without Vicki- You however are trash with a controlling psycho demeanor... good luck to Tamra in her next adventure- hopefully for love this time not fake money!

Candi Gyrl
Candi Gyrl

Simon I'm sure you are a great guy but you have to let go. Tamra probably felt sufficated and by the time counseling came around it may have been to late. I have never been married but I have been in relationships where I felt like I couldn't be myself and they didn't last. I don't think Vicy was a bad influence; I just think she was showing Tamra a side of her that she wanted to show but thought you couldn't handle it. I don't think it was anything wrong with her confiding in her friends because that's what us women do. However, it was just unfortunate that the things she said was blasted on national tv. I don't doubt that Tamra didn't love you but I think she wanted to get to love and know herself a little bit more. As another blogger pointed out she might come back but it may take some time. Let this be a lesson that it's ok to change and evolve. That's what makes us more mature and in touch with what we want out of ourselves and our lives and the people around us. Learn to let her or anyone else that comes into you life to be themselves. Love is unconditional right?!

Sophia11
Sophia11

Simon, I am not surprised that you felt blindsided when you saw Tamra say that you two were heading for divorce. Every time Tamra tried to bring up your relationship and possibly working on it (on the show of course), you immediately would say something like "our marriage is great. we have a healthy marriage, we don't need to change anything". Then she would look at you like you were crazy. So basically, you silenced her concerns and did not make her feel like you were open to working on her relationship...when she did find an open ear (her mom or vikki), all her emotions came spilling out.

In a future relationship, I encourage you to listen to you partner's concerns and try not to be defensive. Also, I would get some counseling first to find out why you are like this (I suspect you have low self-esteem or a narcissistic personality disorder). These can be overcome and you do have a chance at having healthy relationships, but not unless you work on listening and responding to people, not silencing them.

Laura in Cedar Rapids
Laura in Cedar Rapids

Simon, I agree with two posts; 1) controlling is not the word for a husband that is concerned about his marriage and family and 2) men and women are different,in that, we do have to discuss our feelings, although, we don't always get the best advice from our friends. And, although Vicki did a very suprising thing by actually showing some love toward Donn finally, I don't believe she is giving Tamra the best advice, unfortunately. All in all, I wish you two the best, I believe y'all make a great couple, we've all seen it.

Laura

kittycougar
kittycougar

Simon Let the past go. Forgive your parents!

lauren
lauren

i am definitely not one to defend Tamara's behavior, but I do have to say one thing in regards to her saying bad things about you in the episodes. That, I think, comes from ones of those innate differences between men and women. Men don't always feel the need to talk about things, or to get reassurance from friends about what they think. A lot of women need this. They need to know that their frustrations and opinions are justified and they need to let it out. I will admit that maybe she should have shown a little more discretion in her comments, but I don't think that you should take her comments as malicious or coming from a bad place. It was most likely how she was able to cope. Just a thought.

araceli
araceli

l just think it will be a better idea to seperate you are 2 different people who cant get along.

Lori D
Lori D

Simon I wish you the best but i think Divorce is best for both of you you are notthe same and you are way too controling I hope you learn a lot from this and when you get into another relationship i hope you will understand you cant control people you have to like and love them for them not for what or who you want to make them into. You are a nice guy with a lot of issues i think you should go see someone and talk to them ASAP as the way how you think is just off.

DC
DC

Simon, you are one class act!! Tamra has plenty of opportunity to talk to you and chose to air it on tv instead. It's like she is looking for someone else around her for guidance inside of going to you.

I've been in the same boat as you and was disrepected behind my back...the worst feeling in the world. It never once made me want to treat him the same way. My personal life is personal and I would never do that to anyone.

Any women would be lucky to have you. I truly wish Tamra would just wake up and fight for you and her family. God bless you!!

=)

pkcourt
pkcourt

Simon is your Ferrari the Black Mondail Cab that my friend Jedd Charles delivered to a guy at Laguna Niguel MB.

cprince2u
cprince2u

WOW!!!! Is all I can say... Simon, I think your a wonderful man, husband & father... I have no doubt that you will find a woman who will love & cherish all your qualities. I too have noticed the changes in Tamra. I would never want her as a "friend" of mine. This heartache may honestly be a blessing in disguise for you!!! Wish you all the best!!!