Simon Barney

Simon talks about how nice it was to see his family happy.

on Jan 29, 20100

Watching mornings at the Barney house was very heartwarming for me. Bravo depicted our routine pretty much on target except Tammy being awake. She never gets up until 9 or 10. You kind of catch this when she asks the kids if they want lunch, instead of breakfast. And “Why does the coffee pot make so much noise?” It was very cute to watch and made me laugh.  Personally, I have never cared if she woke up early in the morning. I always loved to take care of the kids and loved to let her sleep in. And then there's the fact she takes care of them all day long. So she deserves to sleep in. This morning was a little different. It happened to be the kids' first time riding their bikes to school. I was a little nervous with their heavy back packs and followed them in my car. I did end up putting their backpacks into my car, and driving to their school while they rode. That’s what dads are for….

Funny enough, Sidney fell a few days later on her bike, and broke her arm.

Watching Jim and Alexis next planning their cooking class intervention of Tammy and Gretchen was endearing. They are obviously a team, and seem to go through life like that. They remind me of Tammy and me a few years ago. I hope they can maintain it and be happy forever. With God’s help and going to church, I know they will.

Garage clean-up day! It was nice to see all the family working together. We had a lot of things we didn't need. Did you see all the clothes Tammy had that she didn't even every wear?  I wonder how she could have bought all those clothes with me being so controlling (hmm). How did she manage to get past my "control patrol?" And did you see how upset I was? (Yeah right!) The kids were so damn cute, even when they are just cleaning the garage. Ryan coming over was a nice surprise. I don't know why he didn't want to help????(Just joking). He was so proud of his new job and business cards. And to tell the truth, so am I. The knife scene was pretty funny. Ryan’s dad gave me that knife with a sword years ago. He wanted to show me his appreciation for helping raise Ryan. Many times he has called me to personally thank me for being there when he couldn't. It is always nice to be appreciated. He always said that I had done a thankless job, and wanted to let me know how he appreciated it. Back to the garage: I noticed there was a little friendly horseplay between Tammy and me. It was nice to see the old Tammy and Simon interacting. We were great together.

Both the “kids in the morning” and “the garage” segments were very nice and normal to watch.  Unfortunately the only damper was Tammy constantly bringing negative comments and divorce into her mini-interviews between scenes. It seems like in every episode this year, she mentions it. Was it wishful and projective thinking?

One last comment. This is for our guest bloggers: I always thought guest bloggers are supposed to blog about the actual episode. It’s funny to see someone trying to ride the coattails of a story about someone’s negative situation, just to be part of the limelight. In the past, I defended this person when she was accused of being a publicity hound. I guess she proved me wrong. If in her blog she stopped at "It is none of my business or anyone's business and we should say nothing.” I would have had a lot more respect for her. My last blog came from the heart, and was therapeutic for me to write and release.

165 comments
ECsun
ECsun

I like you style, Simon...head over to the East Coast if you ever want to get away! : )

ECsun
ECsun

I like your style, Simon! Come on over to the East Coast if you ever want to get away! : )

Shazta McGuire
Shazta McGuire

The loving thing to do for Tamra is to let her go. You know that song "Hold on Losely"? She cannot set a good example for her children or concentrate on her children when she is in emotional pain. I don't recall ever seeing her try to control you in the show (maybe they cut that out). It's not a wonder she is happier now. And please for the sake of future relationships and children, get some help for the whining. Even the men disagreed with you.

Tessa May
Tessa May

I am sorry for the pain Tamra has caused you recently. I could see the love and hope you had for your marriage many times on the show. I know you will not have long before you find yourself a women who appreciate all you do and all the love you have for your children. Good Luck Simon, you are in my prayers.

Tessa

laguna055
laguna055

You were a little controlling BUT loved your wife so much! To me, that is perfect. I am married to a "nice, jerk" myself. I know he loves me and spoils me but those sarcastic answers DO DRIVE ME NUTS! Like in the last episode, when she asked if she should wear that dress...a simple no would have been enough...instead, you said "that looks like something a 20 year old would wear". You did that often and I can see Tamra getting frustrated. The way she was crying on the last episode, I have been there before. Where every breath you take is so painful. She was obviously suffering, combination of guilt for not being able to carry on the marriage and being so sick of it at the same time. Tamra went from depending on you, to making who knows how much from the show (enough for a condo I suppose). She saw a way out and took the easiest, selfish way out. Unfortunately, more and more people are doing that these days. I am 32 years old and married to a wonderful man that drives me crazy sometimes. I choose to keep working on it. But of course I don't have cameras broadcasting my life. She will learn that the grass is not greener on the other side eventually. Continuing in the show after the first season was probably your biggest mistake. I am sure you had nothing to do with this decision. The "controlling" guy, couldn't make it go away. I could bet you tried. Keep your chin up, this will pass. Guys like you have SO MUCH to offer but are a bit tough to live with at times. Tamra just didn't have what it takes to make it work. I just feel bad for the kids...

Emme
Emme

I thought you were going to lay off the blog?? Never really knew what you were doing on here anyway. All I can say is thank goodness Tamra came to her senses.

Viewer1001
Viewer1001

Simon You are rightious and your opinions and values are strong. With a little tenderness, a different approach, you could keep it all together, it is up to you! You are the glue, Tamra just needs alot of tender loving care and if you would stop critisizing every little thing, quit commenting on everything! Perhaps you will lose the most precious gem you have ever had. You will regret it! Tamra is special!

cbird
cbird

Your kids are so adorable! It is devastating that you two didn't work it out. Hopefully, both of you will be able to support your children despite hardships. Best of luck. I like each of you. You were a sweet couple. I'm very sorry. Keep strong, though, life is long, and you will surely do well!

Sad!
Sad!

Simon-

That was sad to see your episode this past week knowing what is ahead. Its really obvious you are really insecure inyour marriage because you kept blaming it on Vicki and saying "we have a happy marriage" so often it seemed maybe you were trying to convince yourself of that.

I really think you love each other still though. Why can't Tamra just get off the show and work on the marriage for a while. Take a reality show hiatus- tiger woods style. Its sad because I can tell that you both really love each other. You were controlling though not in shopping, spending money way but that youw ere always so uptight about letting her be herself- like you were constantly afraid of being embarrassed- maybe because you had been in the past- who knows. Hang in there- however it works out I can tell you are a good dad and sorry that you are both going through this.

Viewer11
Viewer11

Simon,

I imagine that the marriage troubles you experienced as of late have been troubling for you, and I would not wish that on anyone, especially not someone with children. However, I think you were unfair this season when you blamed such a large percentage of your marriage problems on Vicki.

A marriage is between two people, and any problems experienced in a marriage are the responsbiility of those two people. It is not fair of you to place so much of that blame on Vicki, simply because your wife choose to confide in Vicki.

Vicki offered up an opinion on your marriage. She did so privately to your wife. Her opinion was solicited, as your wife choose to come to Vicki and talk about certain issues. If you are not happy with the opinion that Vicki choose to have, you should not be unhappy with her - you should be unhappy with your wife for sharing information about your marriage with another person.

I thought it was very interesting to see the conversation that Vicki and Tamra had about the nature of their conversations. Tamra was upset that Vicki choose to say something to you about the nature of their conversation, claiming that conversations between Vicki and Tamra should be kept private. Vicki did not understand this, as even when she vents about issues she has with her marriage, she shares that information with Donn.

I continue to wonder why you think that Vicki and Donn's marriage is not as strong as yours. No marriage is perfect. No person is perfect. It seems to me that Vicki and Donn have managed to work through their struggles and are in a good place now. I believe that instead of Vicki being jealous of you and your marriage, the opposite is true. It is completely normal for a husband and wife to take seperate vacations, and a wife who has her own job and her own opinions is not bossy or controlling, she is strong and independent, and that is not a bad thing.

I truly wish you the best of luck, as you do not seem to be in a very happy place - in your marriage or in your personal life.

bobtail
bobtail

what a drag you are really divorcing. I was hoping that it really wasn't true. Can't y'all work it out somehow, maybe get off of reality tv and try to work on things? well, best of luck. Hope you both reconsider. As a wife and stepmom to four kids who are almost all out of the house, I wouldn't wish a divorce on my worst enemy. And BTW, you never had it easy being a stepdad to Ryan, and I didn't feel that his real dad participated enough in his life with discipline which might have made it easier.

lovelybreeze
lovelybreeze

Simon,

Now days women don't know how to appreciate men that are 100% devoted to them. I can see you are a man who loves his wife and wants nothing but the best for her. Its a shame to know that Vicki doesn't see it that way. It might be because she likes to be the man in the relationship and control everything.

forgive
forgive

Simon, I am not even done reading your blog, and I am praying for you to find peace, serenity and forgiveness, you sound so bitter. I was there, and it is not fun at all. Lots of pain. You seem like a good man, being on a reality show cannot be easy for anyone's marriage. Keep the faith.

Kathy0915
Kathy0915

It looks like Simon is jealous of Vicki and wants as much time on the show as all the housewives. Vicki is not ruining your marriage your wife is by not speaking up for herself with you and making Vicki out to be the bad person. Alexis is very jealous of Vicki also because she happens to be successful business woman and a mother. If you put as much effort into a business as you do on yourself then you could be successful too and not have so much time to pick on others. Gretchen doesn't see that Slade is only with her because he has no money and he likes to be on camera. Lynn needs to pay more attention to her girls and less time in la la land. Is she on drugs? Tamara needs to speak up and tell her husband how she really feels. Stop letting Simon blame Vicki and to stop telling you how you feel.

ryodeb
ryodeb

Simon - you remind me so much of my husband. We disagree on so many levels, but the core of our relationship is very basic (family, children).. Men are so predictable and it's a shame Tamra didn't recognize how easy it is to make you happy (sex). That's all guys need pretty much, and then the world is our oyster! I hope that you can work it out..

Evah
Evah

Simon, i had tears in my eyes when i read your blog, but wish you all the best, hope you can get your life together and find someone who will trully love you.

SuzysDesinz
SuzysDesinz

Simon..I'm sorry to see you and Tamra have problems but I think you need to move past this idea you have of Vicki being the root of your problem. Tamra is the root of your problem. Her drinking and her want to be footloose and fancy free.. there is the root of the problem. Stop blogging and get into marriage couseling along with some alcohol treatment for Tamra and then maybe you will be able to pull your family back together. Wish you the best.

Kay Nichols
Kay Nichols

Hi Simon, I'am sorry to hear about you and Tamra!! I hope you two can work things out!! You both make a great looking couple!!!! You are a great Husband and father. Tamra, will miss you! WE will pray for you God works in different ways.This is my 2nd marriage, and we have had our ups and DOWNS! But if you really love one another things can be worked out. Then me and my husband talked to someone, she told my husband we needed to put ourselfs in each other shoes and look at it from each other eyes.and pick one nite then it was just he and I put the kids to bed and talk etc...ha we've been marriage now for 16yrs. God Bless you and your family

Anti-Simon
Anti-Simon

your a tool... Vicky is a better person than you

Viewer1234
Viewer1234

All marriages have problems Simon...the ones that last are the ones that you work on. If you don't bend you will break!

You worry too much about others behaviors and don't consider you own behavior that needs work. This show has you men on it too much and you bicker and whin and gossip and that is out of line. Pull yourself in line and you would be surprised how well things will go. Your constantly bashing Vickie and that is no way right for you to do when you should show respect to everyone cause everyone deserves respect. You don't have to like people you don't want to but you do need to respect them.

cyberfrance
cyberfrance

I believe in both of you and I fully expect you to reconcile. GET AWAY from the drama. You are a wonderful couple with all of the problems that all young families have. You are both fighting the same war in the same army. With little children, you will be a part of each others lives for many decades regardless of whether you stay together or part. Frankly, I think it would be easier and far more satisfying if you tried to work it out. You can do it. I believe in YOU.

Simon, I wish MORE men would man up and defend their marriages. Go get your wife!

Cindy M.
Cindy M.

I am so sad to see such a beautiful family split up. Simon, I just want to commend you as being a wonderful husband and father. You truly exemplify traditional values that is sorely lacking in today's families. The Bible says that the woman is the weaker vessel, which is true, we are more emotional than men. We need men to be strong and to be leaders in the home. Men and women are supposed to compliment each other. Women need to have that soft nurturing side, as men are to be the protectors. Instead we have women who try to take on both roles, and that is when the trouble starts. You can see how their male mates get demasculated. I never seen you as controlling, but someone who was concerned about their marriage and who was trying his best at protecting it. I am praying for you and your family. God Bless!!

Viewer33
Viewer33

Simon, you are hot! But you wife is a free spirit, and you are not that nice to her. You fell in love with her for certain reasons, but your uptight upbringing is hurting your marriage. Not Vicki!

learn to love the mother of your children as she deserves. She loves you, and has done so much for you.

TERA JO
TERA JO

You and Tammy are great people......You will make it work! My now finance and I (been together 12 years) have had our times of almost breaking up but we are the happiest we have ever been and it's all because we decided it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of us and our relationship.....we love each other!

Just watched the new show.....so happy Tammy has decided to put you first! You two are so awesome!

Bless you and your family...

Immature Grown People
Immature Grown People

Simon, you continue to say that you are not controlling?!...really...I surely thought Tamara was a grown woman...doesn't matter if she's your wife or not, treat her with respect. Your fake as well as this whole "OC" business. You have way to much baggage for a "Grown Man."

Rebecca in Texas
Rebecca in Texas

Simon,

I am so sad to hear of your heartbreak and it is my prayer that God is with you to give you strength and wisdom. Divorce is so devastating in so many ways, I know from personal experience. Not to belabor the point, I think you and Tamara had something worth saving but as you said, 'it takes two willing participants.'

I have watched the show off and on, sometimes to the point of disgust at some of the mean and shallow actions of the cast. There has been times that it appears that the spotlight isn't all that it is touted to be - lots of heartache and hurt feelings. No one place is the perfect environment to live but OC definitely seems to be superficial in many ways. I am happy that you are finding comfort in your faith in God and seeking His leading.

Stay strong, seek the company of people who will build you up, and let God show you the way.

God bless you and yours always!

Ga Lady
Ga Lady

I think the episode of you guys as a family is wonderfull. It shows you are everyday people. A side thats not shown a lot. Sending you blessings for the whole Barney Family.

Yvetteabby
Yvetteabby

Simon, Thanks for come online to Blog!:) There is nothing wrong with stating what you are feeling and expressing your opinions! Why is it ok for the housewives to blog but not the husbands or soon to be ex husband. Simon don't let the negative comments stop you from being the man that you are being. Continue to be the loving and caring father you are to your children. You children need you the most during this time. You have every right to be angry and upset that your marriage is coming to a sad end being that you have loved this person and thought you would spend the rest of your lives together. Simon I think since they have Gretchen on the show and she isn't a true "housewife", there isn't anything with you still being on the show. I know that you would no longer be married to Tamara but I think you should still stay on the show. Simon you are in my prayers!:)

Invisagirl
Invisagirl

Simon, I have watched this and all the Real Housewives shows for entertainment only since the begining. I am sad for you that your wishes for your marriage to continue has not come true, because (from what little you are on) I have only seen you attempt to take the high road and not get caught up in the show biz flare. Good Luck and continue your spiritual walk, your kids should now be the most important part of your life. They will really benefit from a stand up guy as a father. This will be better than gold for them. You have it more together than we know, so no more advice, prayers only. Take Care

Tanya Washington
Tanya Washington

Simon and Tamra i wish you guys the best of luck with the begining of your new lives apart from each other. From watching the show i beleive that you guys are good people and its really obvious that you love your children. Im probably the shows biggest fan and i am a bit teary eyed knowing you wont be on the next episode. Take care and remember life is to short to dwell on the past. Tamra i gotta say you are my favorit on the show you remind me alot of myself and my current situation that im going through... God bless you both

trix
trix

I think it is time for you to stop being a part of the show. Since you and Tamra are getting a divorce, maybe you should both leave the show and focus on your family.

wishing you happiness
wishing you happiness

I am so sorry to hear that you are breaking up. I wish I wasn't so late, but if there is even the slightest chance that you would/could work it out-- please please please, watch the movie "Fireproof" and read the book "The Love Dare". Even if it doesn't change things for your marriage, it can still change your life. Good Luck!

Janelle
Janelle

First off Simon, I don't think you are controlling. It is evident that there is probably a reason why you don't want Tamra to go on trips without you. She isn't accountable for anything she says or does or may have done to you and is disrespectful to you and the people she calls her friends as it appears on television. I could tell you truly do love Tamra and you probably always will and you took your wedding vows seriously from the heart, not the pocketbook , but who are we as viewers to tell you that you've done the right or wrong thing leaving the marriage? No one has that right! I cannot image living in OC, beautiful place with beautiful people ..can't imagine the pressure and trying to constantly keep up. I hope this finds you well and best of luck to you! I think you are darling!

kem
kem

You can fight with women but you cann't fight with men, or you won't. women are not your sobordinates. So step buck from all the ladies and be afraid.

Aprillynne
Aprillynne

oh my goodness, ....a thought: At the end of the day, this is a "show", it is for "entertainment purposes", entertainment to the viewers, it is no way shape or form the acutal real everyday life of these people, they are real and we (as viewers) have to respect and acknowledge that we don't really know them or their lives, we only know what we see on tv, and "drama" makes for good tv, it just does....Simon: Good luck to you and your family.

GolfBuff
GolfBuff

I think Simon is a saint. Tamra needs to grow up and learn to see Simon as her hero. He is there for her, to protect her and she takes it as "controlling". Tamra has a problem

Tamra should take what the other ladies say with a grain of salt. Tamra, WAKE-UP. You have a great guy.

Cheyanne
Cheyanne

Simon, You and Tamara were such a good looking couple. She should have appreciated all you have done for her. I think with out you she would not be the woman she is today. I hate to hear of a divorce. I think the show went to her head. She is a fool to let you go. However, you seem to be a family man and it sounds as if the kids would be better off with you. Good Luck.

Viewer ME
Viewer ME

I agree you need to stop blogging - keep your personal life personal. You didn't like when Tamra kept mentioning the "D" word in every episode. I think you are doing the exact same thing. Remember your children may one day read this.

****
****

Slade,Frank,Jim & Donn don't Blog......

jeynei
jeynei

Simon, it's probably best if you stop blogging. You said yourself that you wanted nothing to do with this show, so I'm not sure why you continue to inject yourself into the conversation. If expressing your thoughts is helpful to you, that perhaps you should seek out a therapist. Taking veiled shots at "Tammy" is not good for anyone.

Camille71
Camille71

Simon, You seem to still love your wife and want to have your family back. But you can't make someone love you. For the sake of your family, don't make this personal thing between you and your wife public. Both of you need to swallow your pride and work on things, privately. We only see snippets of your lives and are only privy to a small part. I agree with the "guest blogger" when she said that you need to stop. Some things should be left as private. Follow your heart.

julissa
julissa

Divorce is kinda hard and especially to younger kids. I really liked you and jim in the show as far as slade goes I don't know! I was real happy to see that you and ryan got to talk just for a little bit! I wish you the best of luck! take care!

MH
MH

Divorce is hardest on children. Put them first. Sorry Simon but you appeared very controlling on the show this season. Perhaps it was your loss of control over finances that caused you to be even more controlling over your wife and family. I think you could have learned a lesson or two from Vicki's husband Don. Good luck.

R. Reyes
R. Reyes

Simon,

I appreciated reading your blog. Your honesty and sincerity is felt. It takes two to make or break a marriage. May God give both of you the wisdom and guidance to overcome and persevere.

Grace74
Grace74

Since the show is "The Real HouseWIVES," you're sort of a guest blogger here too, Simon.

housewife
housewife

simon it seems as if it's time to move on and throwing digs on your blog to the mother of your children does not seem like the best place to vent...see a therapist or talk to a friend not perfect strangers on a blog...playing the victim is not the right way--like in every marriage and every situation i'm sure there is fault in you both..good luck in your future

Smtuell
Smtuell

If my husband wouldnt let me go on a "girls" weekend to Florida solo then I would kick him to the curb as well. She will have a new husband in second flat.

Jennifer in S.C.
Jennifer in S.C.

Hold on to your Sugar-Mommas...cause here comes Simon!!! Plenty of women out there Simon that are family oriented and VERY HOT. Sorry, I'm taken....But maybe you should give Jo a call. Now wouldn't that be throwing a wrench in the mix???...lol Maybe she needs to see you with someone to realize what she's giving up on. Good Luck

Chris & Friends in Princeton NJ
Chris & Friends in Princeton NJ

Hi Simon, I am Greek from South Africa - and I was married before, and re-married my current husband, needless to say my current husband was very protective of our family - to the extent that I sort of felt what Tammy meant when she said that she wished that she could have more freedom in your marriage, HOWEVER, I guess that Vicki was too busy advising her otherwise!! I don't know, but what I do know is this...you have three beautiful children, and Tammy was your gal, prior to TV - I cannot believe that you two do NOT love each other still, unless there is more to the story we know. But if you guys do feel for each other, take your wife and kids, and end this BRAVO ordeal, in order to get your life back on track - GO GET YOUR GIRL SIMON! Forgive and move on!

jakki1
jakki1

Simon can you seriously watch the previous episodes from this season and say that you weren't a controlling husband?? You wouldn't let your wife go on a trip by herself with her friends, nor would you back her up on her decision to make ammends with Gretchen. you shouldn't try to place all the blame on Tamra and make yourself seem like the victim. I thought it was hilarious when even Jim (the most controlling husband) called you out and said that you're not right 100% of the time.