Simon Barney

Simon talks about the "girls only" trip, his marriage, and his conflict with Vicki.

on Dec 28, 20090

 

Let's stick to the facts! I have no problem with my wife going on a "girls trip." Didn't she go to Vegas last year, and San Diego with the girls the year before? According to Tamra, on both trips there was one housewife whose behavior as a married woman was inappropriate. So no! I don't approve of my wife going on a girls trip with that housewives anymore. Then add the fact that Vicki is the only housewife trying to disrupt and interfere with my marriage.

Let me get off the trip for a moment to address again the theme this season. "Simon the controlling evil husband." I have been presented over and over as being controlling. Yes, it’s true! I admit it again. I am controlling! Controlling the damage and protecting my family. If you have seen my wife in the last few seasons, you know that if I was controlling I must suck at it. Or on the other hand if I am controlling, can you just imagine what she would be like if I wasn't?

Back to Florida - I have to say I was not looking forward to this trip. Unfortunately, this was the only vacation my wife and I were going to be able to take this year, so spending it with Vicki was not on the top of my vacation list. We would have preferred to vacation with our kids or just the two of us. One thing nice about our relationship is we do enjoy each other's company.

During the trip you see Vicki get upset every time she isn't in control, or when it came to the guys. The funny thing is this was never a girls only trip. To tell the truth, Jim, Donn and I were invited by the staff (not Vicki) once our wives expressed that we don't take vacations apart. Vicki labeled it "girls trip" when she didn't want Donn to go. We have all seen Vicki tell him, "you're not invited" in the past. Unfortunately she doesn't realize how much it hurts his feelings. I actually had no plans to be on film in Florida and went at Tamra's request to give her support.

 

108 comments
AAA
AAA

Simon I think your a cool guy and all, but I don't think your issues had anything to do with Vikki. The only reason why Vikki even made any type of comment(s) on your marriage was based on what Tamara was telling her. Tamara talked with Vikki as she is her best friend on various occassions about her conserns she had with your relationship/Marriage, and Vikki only tried to give advice based on what she was being told by Tamara witch was not good things. I think that it intimatdated you because you felt that Vikki controls Donn, and trying to get Tamara to do the same with you. I don't think that was the case. She just wanted to let Tamara know that she is stong and smart and doesn't need to be controled by any man witch is what Tamara was feeling. It takes a good balance to make any relationship/ Marriage work, so allowing Tamara freedom to have a little fun and to be a little more independent is not a bad thing. I felt that you wanted her to spend every minute of the day as a housewive, and not have a life other than that, maybe not your intention, but was what I felt. At any rate I think it was a lack of commuitcation with you two. She wasn't being totally honest about her feelings and maybe the only bad thing she did was confied to much to Vikki and not you about her issues, then again maybe she was to scared to tell you.I think both of you are great people, with different views on certain things I guess.

kam
kam

Simon,I do not believe you were and are a controlling person in the sense of telling Tamara what she can and cant do. I do believe however, that you and Tamara view conduct and behavior differently.I also believe your values and child rearing beliefs are also different. I will never forget the scene where you and Tamara were moving pieces of furniture and you were both bickering about scratching the walls .In that scene your daughter called for Tamara and Tamara told her to SHUT UP! It floored me!My point being different values. I think there nothing wrong with you telling her to show less cleavage as classy is not the same sexy. There is also nothing wrong with stating how uncomfortable you are with certain conversations where children are present.Its called respect!i was also floored when you and your wife and don and vicki went to the horse track , the only conversation that took place for the viewers was Tamra and Vicki talking about the others.You and Don sitting there listening to high school nonsense.In closing i have to say that all this controlling nonsense surfaced when your financial problems started ,leaving me to wonder if the marriage was based on money rather than team work, love respect and family. Ithink Tamara got caught up in the spot light and now she doent need a sugar daddy anymore especially now that the sugar daddy has lost his sugar.

me
me

I agree Vicki is super annoying! She turns on everyone and Tamera will see that soon enough. She talks about everyone and really what goes around crazy Vicki...comes around to bite you in your bitchy ass!

Cazza
Cazza

You are obsessed with Vicki! Vicki Vicki Vicki! I have barely heard Vicki mention you on TV except to wonder why you are so mean to her, but you are constantly talking smack about her! Your self-righteousness doesn't cover up the fact that you are controlling and bitter!

leAnn beck
leAnn beck

simon and tamra . you have 3 gorgous kids together..you need to work it out and stay together..divorce is the easy way out..you can tell how much you love each other..especially simon loving tamra..its my favorite show and you two are my favorites..but i am very sad and disppointed to hear about your divorce.. i had such envy .seeing you two so happy and in love....i dont want to watch the show anymore without you two together . it ruined the show for me..

LC
LC

It helps to find out that the men were ultimately invited by the crew. But the reality, and perhaps Tamra should have communicated this, is that it was a trip Vicki planned for the girls. If you and Tamra wanted a vacation of your own you should have discussed that and made the collective decision NOT to go on the Florida trip, rather a separate trip.I would have graciously bowed out of the sunset boat cruise too given the situation. I believe that is what Vicki tried to do. Face it, would you have gone being the only man? I know that this craftly edited show does not always represent the truth, but it seems a no brainer to me that the men were terribly harsh on Vicki. I don't think you can blame your marital difficulties on Vicki. There has to be much more going on under the surface for her to have any impact on you two. I'm sorry to hear of your separation. I think anyone going on these types of shows risks their personal relationships. Let's face it, the producers want drama. I have always enjoyed the OC show simply because I'm an "east coaster" and it's nice to see the west coast life style, even with it's editing. Perhaps you two can step back and not let this show, or other outside influences, have a big impact on your marriage. It would be nice to hear you two work it out!! You both seem to be good people with 3 adorable children. Try to keep them in mind and put the anger behind! Good luck!

Grownup
Grownup

Tamara has grown up and become a real adult woman who no longer needs to be supervised by a man (any man). A relatonship NEVER can withstand that kind of controlling behavior, especially when a woman has finally grown up. Too bad you can't seem to grow up. Also, You seem to be obsessing about what Vicki says, when she says it, how she says it, what she does, when she does it, etc., etc. LET IT GO. She has nothing to do with your problems with your (soon to be) ex-wife. My guess is you will either end up with a much younger woman who loves to be bossed around (until she, too, grows up) or an airhead who likes to be bossed around. You need to grow up, too, and stop being a little boy.

J. Willis
J. Willis

Simon-we can't see behind closed doors but from what I can see, Tamra needs to get it together. That scene where she "begged" Vicky to come on the boat trip AND the way she worried about Vicky while she was with you on the boat really made me mad. I have been married over 40 years and NEVER would I consider the feelings of any female over the wishes of my husband. I like the way you deal with her and your family. Tell Tamra she really messed up when she lost a good man. Stay strong Simon.

MzJuan
MzJuan

You need to try to make it work with Tamara. No REAL woman (one that can think for herself), will let you control her like you do your present wife. You two really deserve each other!

Dawnbk
Dawnbk

Simon, I think you are awesome! But I must tell you that having been married for 16 years, my husband and I have taken small separate vacations. Like a girls weekend or a hunting trip for him. I or he NEVER worry about each other because at the end of the day you only have to trust YOUR SPOUSE! No one else! Who cares what "some other housewife was doing" as long as you trust Tamara. I really wish you guys the best of luck! May you forgive and work things out. Dawn

Stephanie T.
Stephanie T.

Your a good man Simon, there's not many out there that have the morals and appreciation on what a marrige is. I hope Tamara realizes how much you appreciate her.

Summer
Summer

Hey Simon! I wish Tamara would open her eyes and see what a great husband she has! You're just trying to protect your family. I'm sure if Tamara doesn't appreciate you there are many women out there who would be willing to take her place!!! You're such a strong and sexy man!

bella c
bella c

Simon, I think your dead to rights about Tamara's son...and you should stick to your guns on wanting an apology. That's not controlling it is necessary!

 Rosanne
Rosanne

I am so glad that I read your blog. I have so much more respect for you wanting to take care of your family. I hope Tamara really appreciates you. You are NOT controlling - you are just a man that loves his wife and family.

Claudia Briggs
Claudia Briggs

Simon you are a stand up husband and father. I wish the best success in your life and business.I pray that you will find a person that truly respects your values and class.

Viewer 47
Viewer 47

Simon, if you really believe in marriage, you will move heaven and earth to work it out with your wife. Being on a reality show is absurd and debasing. GET OUT and put your house in order. You owe it to your family. And Tamra, the same goes for you. Get your priorities in order. You will be glad you did.

bigger*fan
bigger*fan

Simon really you are so hot, sweet, and women just seem to love you. I think you deserve much better.

k
k

There is nothing wrong w/a girls trip but when it's 3000 miles away I'd have a problem with it too. I think it's great that you dont have trips apart & you value your marriage. Why invite temptation even if there are no problems? That is a GREAT rule. The editing made it seem as if the guys invited themselves & I didnt agree w/that; however,the women should've either said no, lets do it locally or Vicki should've invited Donn when she realized the "men" were coming. Tamra has changed since the beginning, not drastically, but she is different. I wish you luck. You are a man that values his family and relationship with his wife. I hope Tamra realizes that before it's too late.

Marcia_Ann
Marcia_Ann

Hey Simon,

Doesn't your wife know how lucky she is? She should come to Ohio and live my life! Good luck Simon!

P.S.

Do you like older women?

kelly 2010
kelly 2010

Simon... ..."UN-REHENSIBLE"? You're a moron.

Housewife Fan
Housewife Fan

Simon, the advice that NYC Housewife Jill gave to the Gosselins would apply to you also. She said get off the show, turn off the cameras, get some counseling and work on saving your marriage. Good luck to you both.

Missy12
Missy12

Simon, keep the faith. It seems your priorities are in order and that you simply want to live a good and decent life. It's difficult (maybe even impossible) for a marriage to work when your partner has values that are so different from your own. Based on what I've seen and heard you have put a lot of effort into trying to save your marriage. Still, it takes two and you can't save it on your own. That would be a very unfair burden to put on yourself. I give you credit for being consistent and staying true to your beliefs (whether it makes you popular or not). I also think you're setting a wonderful example for your children. Stay strong. There's a happier life out there for you.

Dawn sunsos
Dawn sunsos

Your marriage will make it! All marriages go through very difficult situations. It seems to happen most when money is not coming in like it used to. All it will take with you two is to let each other know exactly how you feel (in private). Tamra just needed to pour her heart out to her mom, and it just happened. It probably was not planned. As for her trip with your friend, she is obviously so hurt and angry with you that she let it all out. Maybe she wanted him to let you know how she was feeling. You don't seem to be the best listener. She needs to be heard by you, and you need to be heard by her. There is not doubt that you guys will make it if you talk behind closed doors and listen to each other! Best Wishes!

lisalott
lisalott

Are you KIDDING?. What are you talking about?. The things that Gretchen said?. I am just appalled at you. It is okay for your jealous wife to call Gretchen a whore,prostitute,defame her so that she ws dropped from hosting a beauty pageant. It is okay to let her mom see you and your wife curse at her, call her a liar 10 thousand times on national t.v.. To also defame her dead boyfriend by saying that he paid her for his care. Why do you both care so much. Seems if you paid that much attention to your wife and kids and getting a decent job this would have never happened. You are kidding right saying goodbye to your kids on your blog?. Or asking for an apology on facebook. I cant believe how immature you are. As soon as this new couple Jim and Alexa (2 phonies) are on the show you want to be like them holier than thou. Ew and shame on you is all I can say. Man up and be the father and husband you should be . Or you probably are going to lose it all. Just think your seasoned wife will meet someone else and you wont.

The Mi
The Mi

I wish there were more men like Simon. So few men have the courage to be leaders in their family. Women have castrated them.

Real Viewer
Real Viewer

Simon your wife should kiss your feet. You are a handsome great guy who treats her like a queen. Both you and Don are so unappreciated it's not funny. I think the two of you need to go on an "all guys" trip and find someone that will appreciate you and not what's in your wallet. Leave Tamara with Vicki. They deserve each other. I just feel bad for the kids because they are the ones who suffer.

lio
lio

Simon, the only hope you two have is to get the hale off Bravo. Don't you know you're selected by Bravo to make fools of yourselves, shambles of your lives; to look like hot-shot failures to be observed by viewers as if you're monkeys in cages? Get off that show! And work out your lives in a mature manner.

Jenn213
Jenn213

Simon:

I'm not here to take sides and I see you are frustrated. My husband can be controlling at times and I know he feels the need to protect me like you want to protect Tamra. We love that feeling of security! Truly, I see my husband and myself when I watch the show, even the part of you being in the car business. My husband has been in Finance/auto business since we met 13 yrs. ago. I'm just trying to say, "Don't give up and give in to Society." You guys have been dealt with some unfortunate situations like most of us....please take some time to rethink this over. I'm not sure what you really feel about Tamra working again, but I just think Tamra feels she's helping her family by going back to work. She wants to make you proud of her again...like the past(when things were better for the family). I was a full time Mother until about 1 yr. ago. when I started up my own business to help out. I'm only stating this from personal experience. Btw, I have a neighbor/friend like Vicki on my street. She tried to cause some problems in my relationship too. I felt I was trapped in the middle b/c I wanted to go out with my girlfriends and have a good time but my husband and her don't really like each other. I just wanted my husband to trust me. I've never given him reason not to trust me either!!! I feel he can be total controlling at times, but I know to stay in this marriage we have to TRUST each other first. After really talking our feelings out over 6 months (and lots of tears)....we've decided that we can't live without each other. I just feel Tamra and I are similar including our upbringing, etc. and I feel I relate to her and that is why I felt I should share all this with you. Good luck....We love you guys!! I'll be praying for you!!!!!!

CandaceH
CandaceH

Why don't you just admit it? YOU ARE A CONTROL FREAK. As much as I don't care for Tamra, you are truly a jackass.

JZ in pgh
JZ in pgh

If Vicki invited herself on your vacation would you be so nice? Moot point now that you filed for divorce!

AlanGray
AlanGray

I hope Tamra does not get anything. She has never worked for anything and only married for money.

mnovielli01
mnovielli01

It seems things have changed from bad to worse with Tamra....if the media is correct, you just filed for divorce....and I think Tamra is 100% responsible for the demise of your marriage. Good Luck Simon.

Hate It
Hate It

Simon: If I can say one thing to you is this. Think of your kids. You seemed to have had a loving family before this show. If you and Tamara could quit the show and put your family first then do it. You both seem to love each other very much and are both hurt by this show. Save your family, do what it takes no matter what. Love is There.

Brunette81
Brunette81

I just heard you filed divorce papers to Tamara and that she has moved into an apartment with your children. So much for you "Protecting your wife and Kids". Your full of crap. If you really truly loved her, you would work it out. It's obvious your love is nothing but conditional. You have some serious issues. Your whole rant (blog)was nothing but an attempt to make you look better. Because you seriously look like an controlling jerk. Not every women should be bow down to her husband. It should be a level plain you both are on. It's obvious you think you need to play daddy to Tamara and tell her what to do and think. Wake up, your in the wrong.

Viewer6699
Viewer6699

The editing that takes place on shows like this do not put anyone in a positive light. Its all about the drama. However, if you went by the show as true reality, it is pretty obvious that Vicki is the toxic one on the show (Didn't Vicki call another housewife toxic). Vicki is a very destructive force, for others as well as herself. Simon can't be controlling if the person he is controlling doesn't allow herself to be controlled. Is it surprising Simon has filed for divorce...no...not in my opinion. Shows like these change people.

responsibility
responsibility

Get counseling and look for your own responsibility instead of making excuses and pointing away from yourself. The biggest favor any of us can do for ourselves is look for the beam in our own eye.

Christin
Christin

Simon, I think you are a nice guy. You are a bit controlling and you need to find a partner that is okay with that. I do not think Vicki is trying to ruin your marriage, she just cannot imagine being with someone who has as much input as you do. My mom is exactly the same way as Vicki. She does not understand my relationship and feels my fiance is too controlling. I think you need to stand your ground and stand up for what you believe in.

Lauren O
Lauren O

Simon,

I don't think you're a bad guy, but I do think that your recent financial situation is more to blame for the stress in your marriage than Vicki. I don't think Vicki is trying to control your marriage I think that she just wanted a girls weekend. When you get married and have children and have to work you don't get to see your friends as often as you would like and just have fun with the girls.

If you can't trust your wife to go away for a weekend then you are very insecure or you need a new wife. Have you heard the saying if you want a good time go out with the preacher's daughter? If you hold people too tight they are just going to resent you. And about Ryan I think that you are correct. Women are too tolerant of deviant male behavior because they feel like they are turnign their backs on them. Hold your ground on that one.

Blissian
Blissian

Hi Simon.

This is my first year watching this show and i have to say that i also thought the exchange in the nail salon between your wife and Vicki was very odd. I felt like Vicki was suffering from sort of mental disorder. It just seemed odd that she was asking your wife to have more loyality for her then her husband. Also, I have to say that i am glad that i read your version of what happened on the lady's weekend trip. Often times when the men are shown they are saying what they will and won't let their wives do as if they were 5 year olds. I am glad that that isn't the case.

Amy C
Amy C

Simon, I completely agree with you!!! Tamra is a really good person. But I have seen a change in her since the beginning of the show. Vicki was not a good influence on her. I think Vicki is doing the right thing now. Tamra needs to take a step back and re-evaluate things to see that you have a valid point. Anyone can get caught up in the lifestyle of the show and I think that's all Tamra is guilty of!! Maybe it's time to quit the show and work on getting back to normal! I really hope you both work it out because I think you are great together!

lisa Hill
lisa Hill

WORK IT OUT GUYS!!! TEAM SIIMON AND TAMRA!! You can do it!!! You will never regret working it out.

Sweetmagnolia
Sweetmagnolia

Simon, I completely aggree with your ideals reguarding marriage!I would adore a strong man like you,let me know if you are interested in a beautiful southern women with no additional baggage (previous marriage,kids)when you leave Tamra! :) I think you deserve better!But I can understand the thought you may have reguarding your children and your marriage.

GoldieB
GoldieB

Simon, Simon, Simon, why is it that you are the only one on this damn show that make sense. I just read that you are divorcing Tamara and that's really sad news, and hopefully you guys can reconcile and rekindle what you once had, but Vicki has to go in order for that to happen. I really wish you guys the best!!

Viewer3
Viewer3

Simon, that was a beautiful sentiment about your marriage, but when in the 9 days since you wrote that did you change your mind and file for divorce?

Shaniqua
Shaniqua

Simon, the editing made you look controlling. However, I do understand wanting to protect your family.

I think that Tamra would be very good at real estate and help out with the family income. Many families need two salaries just to survive nowadays. Besides, Tamra having a job would be a good example to your daughter.

Vicki really needs to realize that she can't make someone choose between a friend and a family member.

P.S. Tamra is lucky to have a handsome man like you for a husband.

Macroni
Macroni

You seem like a fine person. I have to ask, though I know it won't be answered here:

I just read that you filed for Divorce from Tamra ??

amy r
amy r

I really have to agree with you. Vicki seems to not be happy in her own marriage for whatever reasons. Some people have different relationship styles. I am very independent but I think you need balance in a relationship. I try to have female friendship with women who feel and think the same way as I do. Tamara should automatically remain loyal to her husband first. I would not expect to be more important to a female friend than her husband is. I have a lot of friends. Maybe Vicki does have very many that is why she is so into Tamara.

Palm Springs Hottie
Palm Springs Hottie

Wow Simon!

Nice to read that and then hear today that you served Tamera with divorce papers! Interesting relationship you too have~