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Simon Barney

Stick to the Facts!

Simon talks about the "girls only" trip, his marriage, and his conflict with Vicki.

Dec 28, 2009

Two last items I would like to address. One is a comment this week about me also being the sixth housewife. Seriously! Being on a reality show is not my priority in life. My wife and children's happiness and well being is. And I have a full time job, two companies, and children that keep me busy.

I'd also like to comment on the many group discussions in Florida about Vicki. I personally hate gossiping about someone, especially when they're not there to defend themselves. You should have noticed my disinterested behavior in the limo and at the bar. I tried to change the subject on both occasions, and failed. The last thing I wanted to do during the limited time with my wife was discuss Vicki.

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It's really interesting to have your perspective. Things happen off camera that affects what happens on camera, so to get a better sense of that is helpful for viewers.

Thanks for sharing!

I really admire your dedication to your wife and marriage. Bravo is really trying to make you and Tamara the villians this year. I thought the statements that Tamara wasn't an independent woman as odd, I have never gotten that impression

A very powerful post. Well, finding out the men were actually invited to go on the trip by the staff does change my perspective that the men had highjacked the girls' trip; however, now I'm wondering if Bravo was trying to set the stage for drama. Unsure but, regardless, the trip was still initially designed as a girls' getaway so I do understand Vicki's own angst at husbands becoming part of the dynamic. Nonetheless, I also see & agree there should not be such a tug-of-war between Tamra & you over Vicki's influence in your marriage. You have many valid viewpoints, Simon, and I give you credit. In the end, maybe doing this show at this point in time isn't such a positive thing in your lives?? I sincerely wish the best for your family!

I totally agree with your comments on this blog. I have to wonder is all this reality worth it? It seems to be taking a toll on your marriage like we've seen in other reality shows.

I have been married for 25 years to a wonderful man. The people in my life who are TRULY my friends, are supportive of that relationship and accept us both as individuals and as a couple.

That being said - enough already - it's really bad when even the guys on the show are drama queens!

It's obvious from your posts that you are not happy with the current situation; so my question would be why go through with another season?

Dear Simon:

Thanks for your perspective. When I saw that scene of you sitting with the girls when everyone just arrived. I was wondering why you didn't just go up to your room and let the girls chat. It seemed a bit uncomfortable but it's also great getting your perspective and the bigger picture out of the whole deal. Hopefully everyone will learn to compromise eventually.

Simon,

I was really worried about you on this past episode but I am glad you cleared it up. My husband went through something with a friend of his. His friend didn't do anything to us but my husband found out he was cheating on his wife and he ended that friendship. I was shocked because we were pretty close but I respected my husband even more because that demonstrated to me he not only respected our marriage but marriage as an institution. On a side note, I love most of Bravo's line-up but you have to call out the behind the scenes "set-ups" or nobody will. I think that's what burned your wife last season and she came off looking badly. Love, honor and cherish your family.

Simon, you and Tamra are my favorite couple. After hearing your side, I like you even more.

Simon, I think your great! And right on target with Vickie, she wears me out! I would love to see an episode without her on it. Have a great new year!!!

Smiles, Deana S.

Simon, I read your blog and here's a question that I am still wondering about, if you already knew in advance that Vicki was trying to have a "girls" vacation, regardless that the staff of Bravo asked you-why would you go if you say it's not that big of a deal since Tamra went to Vegas with them before? Sometimes people needed to get a way and enjoy being with their friends. You stated that in previous girls outings that it was some individuals behaviors weren't good, but doesn't marriage take trust?? Just wondering. Thanks

Wow.. I totally agree with you. Tamara should set Vicki straight and let her know her loyalty is to YOU..period. Vicki also shouldn't comment on your marriage unless ASKED. She tends to open her mouth and express her opinion etc..when not asked.

Simon, I think it is wonderful that you believe in your wife so much. Why do you think Vicky would be giving her advice if Tamra wasn't willing to take it? It's a two way street don't you think? And I do think you are a little controlling, or at least you are coming off that way on the show. I think Vicky is controlling too though. Probably why you are butting heads right now, right? I almost feel sorry for Tamra being in the middle. I know how gossip and half truths can ruin a relationship. I'm sure it is not easy at all to have your lives on display the way you are. I also know that everything is not as it seems on reality tv. I wish you the best of luck.

I hope this means that the upcoming episode showing Tamra mentioning divorce are just setting up more drama - but not really happening. Thank you for sharing your side of the story - I need to check these blogs more often.

I felt really bad for Vicki on the girls' trip. I can totally understand wanting girls-only time but she really did make it worse for herself by getting so emotional about it and backing out of plans just because the husbands were there.

I don't think Bravo needs to stir up the drama so much by setting up situations like that - there's plenty already. Watching Slade sneak up on you all when you got to the hotel made my skin crawl. Was that really necessary???

I have watched the show from the beginning Tamara should realize how lucky she is to have such a loving,caring and protective husband.

Simon - Tamra is a lucky woman!

Simon, I LOVE your take on marriage, I wish there were more men out there who shared your beliefs-family first, friends come and go. It's true. My boyfriend is my best friend and I hope someday we have the kind of marriage you and Tamra have.

Love you and love the show!

I think that Simon is a great guy and Tamra is a luckey woman to have him and the children lucky to have a great dad,I would just like to add that I have a son doing 23 years and this is theh Hardest thing that I have had to deal with in my life, If IOnly had sone things differently, maybe this wouldn't have happened, but how can you know. I totally agree with Simon and consequences with regard to Ryan , but now Tamra you just have to let go of some of the guilt otherwise you are going to ruin your life, I have had to deal with a lot of hardship and as a person in recovery it is a must that I let go of the guilt otherwise I will not grow as a person, emotionally and more importantly spirutually. and most of all Ryan he won't grow as a person in any area of his life,he most definetly needs to be accountable for his actions, this is the only way that he will ever grow as a person. I totally agree with Simon on this issue, You can't imagine how hard it has been first to accept the fact that my son robbed to banks, but to have to spen the next 18 or so years having to visit him in prison is not my idea of fun. I wish you all the best,Tamra, stop letting Vicki manipulate you and work on your marriage with your husband, to often anymore people don't really respect their vows, for better or worse, means just that, work through it and if Vicki is the friend she says she is she will step out of the way and respect you and love you enough to support you on this. God Bless, Elizabeth.

Kudoz to you Simon! Tamra's lucky to have you!

Hey, Stephanie 1,

He thinks she is too!!

I give what you give into a relationship, I just wish I was so lucky as your wife. Your a awesome man in everyway shape and form! Thanks for being that stand up man women look for ... its a dying breed.

Simon,

Here is my opinion...

It is obvious that Vicki has fallen in love with your wife! She wants to take her away from you because she wants her for herself!

Again, just my opinion!

Kim

Simon - I am so happy to read your blog - and I have come to really like and respect both you and your wife so much more this season. I sometimes do not understand her reactions toward you, but truly hope that the two of you work on your relationship because I truly feel that you are totally committed to your family. I do, however, feel that Vicky would try to turn Tamara around anyway she could, but I know in the end, your wife is not only extremely bright, but very strong-willed and not at all controlled. Your love for each other will win out in the end. Her actions in FL were just so silly and childish, but I have to admit Slade did freak me out. He is just weird. I do believe your insight into people is right-on. I have always felt so sorry for Don - I think he would be so happy with the right woman - but...... I wish you and your family the very best in 2010.

Bravo Simon...enough said...Tamra is a smart woman she will realize Vikki's intentions...and move towards more positive people...friends don't change friends...they accept and respect them for who they are....Well wishes for 2010

Right on Simon! I understand the show has to stay interesting so there will always be drama but you have a great head on your shoulders! Your wife and kids should feel very lucky to have such a caring man looking out for them, I could not agree with you more about Vicki. By the way, I did notice your uncomfortableness and disinterest in the conversation when they started talking about Vicki. Remember, you probably seem like the "unpopular, controlling" one because you are emotionally healthy among some disturbed people. Hang in there. Tamara, give that man a kiss tonight!

p.s. Simon, as you can tell I am very on your side and agree with most of your views. Sometimes we woman just need the message delivered with kitten gloves. Its not always what you are saying but how you are delivering it that can come off controlling.

I love that your old-fashioned and there is Nothing wrong with that ! I stand by you and agree with EVERYTHING YOU SAID. Surprisingly, my husband watches the show with me and was floored when Vicki asked where your wife's loyalty layed.

Hang in there and stay true to yourself and your family!

Blessings !

Simon,

I am glad you are sticking to your guns Tamara is a very lucky woman to have you in her life. Vicki needs to get closer to her husband and spend more quality time with Donn. Vicki is going to loose Donn if she does not change her ways I think Donn is a very attractive man. So Simon stay true to yourself and family Love Ya. Tamara put your foot down with Vicki do not let her run all over you she could not do it to Jeanna.

You are the only sane and reasonable person on that whole show. Whenever I hear your voice, it's a breath of fresh air. You have nothing to apologize for.

You are in danger of becomming the new Slade! The writing is on the wall. Get out while you still can and whatever you do, don't grow a beard!

Simon, Even tho you have issues with Vicki, I noticed that when the group was gossiping and bashing Vicki that you did NOT participate in that. I think it says a lot about your integrity and I respect that. You are a stand up guy.

The producers love to cause dissent as it generates good ratings for the show. It is a top rated cable show after all.Hang in there.

I have to say that although I don't see the show as often as I used to, you have made the most positive impression of ANYone on it. I find myself nodding my head in agreement to most things you say...though certainly not all! Sorry! :) I completely agree with the tough love attitude, and your taking the higher road, when it would be so much easier to fall in with the group mentality and take the lower road. I can't imagine so many people watching MY life unfold, and you handle it remarkably well. Just keep sticking to your guns!

Just wanted to say I think your a great husband...every relationship has its peaks and valleys and unfortunately looks like the camera caught a disagreement that goes on in every household all the time...take care and keep walking proud..

Simon--I guess I don't understand why you feel Vicki is a bad influence on your grown wife. Give your wife more credit. She's bright and I am pretty sure no one influences her. If they do then yes you need to put your foot down.

It is unfair to the whole cast when segments are placed together to paint someone in a bad light for ratings. There is a lot that goes on behind closed doors and when the camers are off, not too mention all the footage they cut before an episode airs. As a wife who has watched other people influence her husband in a negative way and led him to cheat I fully understand why you would have reservations about your wife being associated with certain people you feel could influence her into making bad choices. In the end though it is ultimately your wife's choice to act how she want, that I had to realize. Good Luck with all your efforts, I hate to se any marriage suffer.

Why don't you go back to selling cars? Evidently that worked for you, and you were good at it and it got you guys where you are. Self employment is so not dependable. My husband said he would dig ditches if that is what he needed to do to keep what we got. It's good that Tamera wants to help out with going back to Real Estate business. You should be proud that she wants to help out. Sorry for dishing you so bad,

Its the what you say on the show, its the way you say it. Although your intentions may be good, you do not express them as you should. You need to take more time to listen to your wife and understand eachothers views in order to have a solid marriage.

Simon,

It seems that Vicki isnt really the problem. I watch the show, and seems like there are many issues going on with you and Tamra that are defintely not on camera and not a part of the show. When it comes to the issue with you and Tamras' son, I am totally on your side. Maybe the real problems are with how tamra makes choices and refuses 'to be in the middle' although in reality she already is!

Good Luck, Li

If the producers edit the show so that you are not shown in the proper light, then why are you on the show?

It must be hard to do a show like this. Opening your life up for all kinds of scrutiny, so I appreciate you all giving us the weekly entertainment. My wife got me hooked on the show a couple years ago and we tune in every season. I have to say in all the episdoes I have watched you and Don have shown the most class and intellingence on the show. I kept joking with my wife last yesr that I was going to make Team Don shirts, because of how bad Vicky was treating him. He is a better man them me. You don't need to explain youself because your actions and comments on the show illustrate that you are a good guy. Best of luck with the drama bro!

So glad I read you blog. I started to ignore it and take for granted what was shown on the Florida episode and previous shows over the years. You really opened my eyes to your perspective. I think as women, we sometimes loose touch on male views and it's easy to get on the "girl power" band wagon!

Simon, you are a tough nut to crack, one min. I love you and one I hate you. But really I do like you alot. I see that you were really trying to be a good influence on Tamras son and he is a hard head. You took a big chance with your tequila CO. and I hope it works for you, It looks sad for you and Tamra in the comming attractions but I am rooting for the 2 of you.

Simon,

I have just one question/comment.... If I could only afford one vacation it sure as heck wouldn't be to Florida with a group of women I didn't like. Why not just say thanks but not thanks and go to Disney with the kids????

Simon, you are the most rational person on this show! Don't let this silly show ruin your marriage!

*tear* Wonderfully Written Simon!

STAND YOUR GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!