Pretty cool blog you've got here. Thank you for it. I like such themes and everything connected to them. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon.

Kate Benedict

Tamara,
Well, I'm sorry that you had to go thru a divorce it is very hard....when children are involved...However, you talk way to much about your private life, you say one thing and do something else...I think that you are a very jealous woman...You really need to take a loooooong look at the person that you are. As anyone we all need to take a look at ourselves and make good changes....

I've always been very independent but as a young woman I was involved in more than one relationship with a control freak which would never happen today. To me Simon did not seem overtly controlling to me but judging by the comments above a lot of people did. In a marriage it seems only natural that loyalty to your spouse should supersede loyalty to a friend and Vicky was being extraordinarily unreasonable demanding you choose her over your husband. I thought that you and Simon were great together and I'm sorry to hear that you are no longer a couple. Hopefully you've learned from your experience with Vicki and in the future will be careful to not align yourself with people like her ever again. I'm sorry to offend but we've all watched season after season of her escalating nastiness which seems to have no bounds. To make matters worse she's totally incapable of taking an honest look at herself. You are hot, you're hilarious and you're a very smart young woman so I have no doubt you'll continue to do well in life. Just be careful who you friend, girlfriend. Best wishes to you and your family.

You, young lady, are a wonderful addition to the show. It's about time someone stood up to Vicki, who has gotten meaner and nastier with every new season. The sad thing is that she's not big enough to acknowledge her own mean spiritedness but rather accuses you, Gretchen and even Lynne of being mean. In the moment we all say and do things that in retrospect we may regret and even be ashamed of. Your insightful comments in the second last para. above show that you're not afraid to look back, see where you've fallen short, admit it and strive to do better. Vicki has had several seasons more under her belt during which she could have learned something and still fails to see the truth. She evidently is living in an alternate universe and she could learn from you but I'm sure she'd never deign to admit that. It's been very interesting to observe this contrast between two women who embrace their Christian religion and live by its terms. Well, one of you does anyway. I look forward to next season. Best wishes to you and your family and thanks again.

Tamra you cry beautifully without making one single dark line down your cheek, you shud bottle that stuff. Hey you need the $$

Amiable post and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you for your information.

Tamra,
I think that you did let Simon control you way too much! You were his wife but not his property. I feel you are so brave and did something that many women are afraid to do so because of their children, but in all reality it is better for the kids that the parents are not together if the relationship is not a healthy one. All I have to say is that I admire you and you should do something about that TAT!!! LOL

why does money make any one better then others. Money only makes life hard. I am not poor i have it better then a lot of ppl. But i stay true to my heart..

Tamra, it is time you grow up and stop whining - you deserve everything that is happening to you because you didnt take care of your business. You were tooooo busy butting into everyone elses business - KARMA! You need to stay away from Vicki - you have become a "MINI-ME". I think you rewatch the season you will see how puppet-like you were.

Tamra,
I have to say you're my favorite! I feel as if our personalities are identical! I love that you "tell it like it is" and don't hide your true self. I hope you find your prince charming someday because you're a catch! I always tell my friends that if you knew me we'd be friends! But girl I love you!
~Kristina

Tamra, lesson 1 never tell anyone anything that you don't want repeated. You have no one to blame but yourself if the person you tell it to tells someone else. If you wouldn't say these things to your husband than maybe you shouldn't tell someone else. Your husband was probably just mad that you shared your private information and jealous that you had a friend you could go to. Sounds like he is a control freak and trust me I had one of those and got out best thing I ever did. My life is so much calmer now and I do things for me. Much more happy.!!!!! If it's not working than the best thing to do is move on chalk it up for experience. In the end we are only responsible for our own happiness. cd in KY.

tamara i love u im so glad u stood up for yourself against simon be strong girl u are beautiful down to earth sexy and a wonderful mom simons controlling was too much in your next marriage take some lessons from vickey be stong girl it will all work out btw how come you didnt talk to your mom about all this love you tamara even if im from so central ha ha

Tamra you are an amazing woman and all will work its self out good luck you are the only reason I watch the show I can relate to you in so many ways.. Hang in there

You are an awsome mom
CKirk
Texas

Tamra, You and Simon obviously worked hard to try and make your marriage work. Sometimes if you love someone enough you have to let them go. It is good to read in your blog that you are better apart than together. It means you have begun the healing process and you both are remembering what good qualities that attracted both of you when you met. Best wishes to you for starting over in all aspects of your life. The OC housewives rock!

Tamara,
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce but as always you and only you know what's best for you life. If you can't be happy, how can you be happy for your children. I hope it all works out for you. I know it's a painful thing to go thru but stay strong girl! You'll get thru it.

Best Wishes to you and your family,
Alicia
Texas

I was a member of your face book page, but for some reason I am now not, I was not meaning to say anything that was out of line. I am currently stuck in a marriage after 21 years and Have asked time and time for a divorce and he refuses, I have finally moved away now I have nothing I am starting from the ground up going to thirft stores for furniture and clothes, but I am happier that I got away. I know one day I will get back what I lost but it is a struggle so I hope the very best for you that is all I wanted to say on your page and defend you from the Haters out there and the evil that post hateful things

I saw Simon's Harley in the garage, but it looks like there's a Ferrari covered up in there too. Never saw you guys ride in it. Did Simon take you out in it? Who got it in the divorce?

Tamra,
I think you let Simon control you way too much. Vicki is NOT a bad person. She just wants her friend back and Simon isn't letting that happen. He is completely trying to control every aspect of your life! you need to show him who is boss. And the whole "you never spend time with the kids" um hello? is he a mom? did he watch the kids the majority of the time when they were growing up? No, you did. You deserve a break. Geez he's aggrevating. I absolutely HATE the way he treats you on the show. Wake up Simon, Tamra is NOT property she is your WIFE.

Tamara, my humble opinion is that you and Simon got together for a reason, think back to what it was, money matters, and being more independent is hard for many men, and women don't want to put up with having to deal with helping them cope with the fact that you are an independent woman. It may sound silly but it is the truth. And so many women don't care, but if you could work it out with him I would applaude you, and if not I'm sure you tried your best and will applaude you also!!!!
I think he really loves you under that hard shell of his.

Tamara,

I am not sure what is wrong with Simon! Any other man would love his wife to look like you, be fun and spontaneous and still be great mom to his kids.

I wish you the best in the future and am glad you didn't let anyone change who you are!!

Good Luck

Leesa

Hi Tamra,
If you had some spare time, I wish you could answer some
of our questions like Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen on
the New York side. It is nice sometimes to really hear their
version of things that go on, and their fan's LOVE it.

Does Simon ever smile or laugh????
Did he ever tell a joke or run around with " the guys,"
like the girls do with each other?
Simon looked and seemed like the world's unhappiest person
around. I felt so sorry for him, at the beginning of the show, but as time went on I realized it was just him.

NOW, just get out and have some fun and party. You and Vicki do NOT need to fight and bicker and cry over your
friendship. You have been friends for years, so stay
that way.
Love you,
Vicki

You are my favorite OC housewife.

Tamra sorry about your divorce with simon in the series you will see that you would be together as a couple seemed communicative

Tamra,

The adage, "opposites attract" is true. Opposites also compliment each other. At some point, you and Simon were probably hot for each because of your differences, not in spite of them. Maybe the financial stress or cameras in the face contributed to the disintegration of your union. Simon certainly seemed uncomfortable at your birthday dinner. He didn't ease up as the night wore on.
I can relate to your salty language. Mine is far worse. (I swear like a sailor.) Perhaps Simon just wanted you to be like a china doll - delicate and beautiful - but without an opinion or vocal chords. He wanted to keep you on a shelf for his eyes only... Keep your sense of humor and brains as you travel the single life again.

Tamyra, I thought you were a stupid, vacuous, horrid person at first. Now your real side is coming out --- you are sweet, caring and you try to do the right thing. I have faith that every year you will continue to rise to your better nature. I am proud of you.

Tamara, episode This is How We it In OC - you and your husband where at dinner and you made a comment on how no matter what you say it starts an argument. I have been with my fiance for 12+ yrs and we have a 7 yr old daughter. EVERYDAY I experience what you and Simon are. It hasn't always been like this either it just kind of started creeping in slowly. I used to love doing everything with him and it never felt the same if I wasn't with him. Now - I rather take our daughter or just go by myself. At least I know I will be able to smile and be happy without walking on eggshells. I feel your pain and loneliness. It truly sucks!!!!! I wish you much luck with Simon. I ask myself everyday would it just be either to raise our daughter on my own? Somedays I don't like the answer and yet others its an automatic NO.
Love the show! Huge fan like all the others!
Best of Luck for you and your family.
PS
How is your son doing with his new job?

Sincerley,

Gina
Real Housewife of Hartford County, CT
(37 yrs old)

Divorce is so painful, yet it does get better. It did seem like the very thing he loved you for (being a wild fun outspoken woman) was the very thing he grew to hate about you. I divorced three years ago with three small children. I remarried a wonderful man and my family is so happy and healthy. There is light at the end of this. Keep being fun and sassy. It is what sets you apart from every other dull ,Donna Reed wife out there. good luck sweetheart.

Go Tamra!!! You are a strong woman who deserves to be appreciated for all that you are. Not that I am bagging on Simon in any way, but he just didn't seem to embrace "the Tamra"! He insted tried to stifel you. I am curently in a situation very similar o yours and can totally relate to you in many ways!! Strong women need men who can accept us for who we are and enjoy the ride, regardless of where it may lead. Looking forward to seeing where you freedom will lead you. Hope and healing to you and your family.

All the best,

Ali J.

I think that Simon only wants to tell you what to do and keep you to himself, judging everything Vicki and you guys do. I think you’ll be better off and happy then unhappy fighting all the time.

I have been a viewer of REal Housewives for quite sometime but I must say I will no longer subject my time to this non-sense. First all Tamara you said a few seasons ago when Simon gave you the rolex that you had a great marriage and a happy life. I agree with a lot of what Simon said during the show. Number one Vicki is crazy and treats her man like he is her son. How can you accept advice from someone who is not happy in their own marriage. Come on WOMEN use wisdom here! GOd ordained marriage and when we allow outside influences to come into our marriage it creates havoc! You should learn to separte your friendship from your marriage. At the end of the day you have to go home to Simon not Vicki. Is Vicki there to pay your bills now that you have fell into financial dispair and divorce? I do commend Vicki on renewing her vows this season but look at you left alone while she moves on with her business and her family. Afterall, you all dont have real job anyway according to Vicki. Yes Simon may have been a little controlling and insecure but I believe he loves you and did not want to impress anyone or to live up to everyone else's standards. Please take time to understand the true value of marriage. As someone else stated, the grass isnt greener on the other side, especially when children are invovled. Its sad that people are soo desperate for fame that they will get it at the cost of their family!! WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! Tamara I'm praying for you!

Tamra

The man obviously loves you-don't throw that away. You both have your faults but you both still love each other, so go to counselling or something. Go to church and learn about forgiveness. These people that encourage you to dump your husband don't have your best interests at heart, nor your children's. Don't listen to them. Make it right and get back together.

I have strong beliefs in marriage but I am divorced--you have to see when a man is as controlling as it appeared on TV-and very jealous of others--happiness-and freedom--they don't want you to be exposed to that you might like it--sounds like you have finally got your head on straight and headed in the right direction for YOU--I was always told that was not good for me--till after 29 years I looked outside the box and found peace. Now I'm old, waited to late-- the BEST to you--you go GIRL

I haven't liked Simon since the 1st season you were on the show. His controlling behavior is evident in every episode. Also, he would try to make you take sides between him and your son. I am so glad you are kicking him to the curb. He seems like a total loser and not your style anyway.

You are awesome Tamra, you're my favorite on the show!!

Tamra, I've been watching since the beginning and I confess I didn't like you back then. As time has gone on, however, we have gotten to see the dynamic between you and Simon, and I began to really feel sorry for your situation. Simon says you became a different person but really, you were never allowed to be yourself when you were with him. I think because you were so stifled behind the scenes, it made you bitter and angry in other ways. Haven't you noticed that as you gained independence, you have sought to reconcile with others, and become a NICER person? This is growth. It sounds like Simon wanted someone who never had any opinions of their own and always followed his directives. If he wants that, he needs to get a dog, not a wife. Like you alluded to at your birthday dinner, he married you for being outspoken, and then never stopped trying to squelch that. Trying to destroy someone's spirit like that, to stifle them, is just cruel. It also sickens me when men act like they are doing some huge extra service when their children are left in their care. Like it's "babysitting" while the Mom is just expected to spend all of her time with the kids and not want any personal time. Simon is their father, and seems to have no appreciation that this is your time to finally have a break as the kids are getting older. If he has such a great time with the kids, as he claims, what's he bitching about any time he has to spend with them alone??? This is absolutely the same attitude Jim has on the show, and why I can't stand him either. I think Simon has smiled on the show maybe once...and even then it seemed forced. He has always spoken in a monotone. You just seem like a mismatch. Enjoy your kids, and be happy you are moving on from this relationship. I know you will find someone who will be a better match for you and a kindred soul. I truly wish you happiness, Tamra, and I know you will find it. :)

Hey Tamara,
Hope your Life if gettin back on track...
All my best to you and your family...
On anothe note... I would like to know where you purchased the 3 container jar on your kitchen Island at... Your house is decorated very nice...
Thanks,
Trisha

THAT'S RIGHT TAMRA LEAVE THAT MAN HE'S TOO JEALOUS HE WANTS YOU TO DO EVERYTHING HE SAYS I HAD TO LET MY HUSBAND GO AND I FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER BELIVE ME WHEN YOU GET BACK YOUR LIFE IT FEELS SO GOOD THATS RIGHT LEAVE HIM ALONE IT GETS HARD BEFORE IT GETS BETTER!!!!

Tamra,

I am not going to go as far to say "Dump your husband" or "Get rid of him". I not even going to go as far as to say I dont like him because I dont know him. However, the behavior he displays on the show, how he acts is appalling. He seems to be very controlling, overbearing and insecure. What he "allows" you to do? What behavior of yours he "puts up with". Whe the hell does he think he is? Be who you are, at all times. Regardless of his view of you. I think you are hilarious. And your mouth! I can relate, mine is worse! Simon is boring. Boring. Boring.

Until this year, I liked you. You threw Vicky under the table which showed your true character. If you can relate more to a creep like Alexis than I can't relate to you anymore.

If I had to choose between my husband and a friend it would be my husband. But, I don't like Simon and I think you should divorce him. He's really possesive and seems to have a mean streak in him.

I'm glad you and Simon are over. That was not a healthy relationship. And about Vicky, idk why you say you're her friend when you keep backstabbing her. When you guys went to Florida she told you" don't go down there and tell them oh she's crying" when she didn't go on the boat rideand what's the first thing you do? You start talking shit bout her.you are not a friend at all.you constantly talk about Vicky which is your friend. And you always do it behind her back. Why don't you do it face to face?

Everyone with a brain can see through your crap!! Bottom line, you cheated on Simon. Why don't you talk about that!!

tamra...get rid of simon!!!! your birthday dinner was a trainwreck..his insecurity is so obvious...it seems you have come into yourself these last few years and he is threatened instead of appreciating and being proud of your beauty he is intimidated and afraid of losing you--which is exactly what happened...i think vicki is a true friend to you adn you have just been caught up in the negativity of alexis...hopefully now that you are through the storm you can see that....never ever join in when a group is bashing someone--it makes you seem small..let your positive light shine through..good luck...

Tamara
Sorry to hear you are divorced. Saw it coming. The blame is defintely not on Vicki but on you and your husband. After watchng the show from the beginning of the season you did seem to turn on Vicki. Simon is a control freak who needs to stop blaming others for his actions.

Tamra,
So sorry to hear about your divorce. It's good to see a little softer, gentler side to you this season. Seems like you've gotten some things into perspective or maybe you saw some things last season you did you weren't proud of. Seeing ourselves on Reality TV could probably help alot of us chance our behaviors. HANG IN THERE.... be there for the kids, that's ALL that matters in this situation.

Tamra- I think your beautiful- Your kids come first, especially your oldest son right now. That is the most important thing right now, hands down. Until Simon gets that- too bad for him.

Tamra,

No wonder you haven't blogged. The truth has now come out and it's all over the internet. You were cheating with your husband's friend and got busted in Vegas. How could you run around talking bad about Gretchen when you yourself is being unfaithful. You should really be ashamed of yourself! FAKE HYPOCRITE!!

Tamra, You did the first thing right in divorcing Simon. The next
thing you need to do is keep Vicki out of your personal and
financial business. She's the most toxic person on the show. Did
you ever consider the reason Vicki and Simon didn't get along well was because both of them are extremely controlling. Simon is
with his family and Vicki's with her children, Don and all the
housewives. Vicki is really a very miserable person. She has said that she wants a loving relationship like the rest of the wives, but Vicki appears to me to have only married Don for the
sake of being married. Their attempts at affection always seem
forced and Don always looks like a deer caught in headlights. Keep Vicki out of your business, period. She betrayed your
confidence before and she'll do it again. LOL.

Tamra- You can be very two faced sometimes. Do you realize that the other women will see you on tv with your back stabbing comments? Look in the mirror sister as you have said way too many hurtful things about your "friends".

Tamra...I am so proud of you! I know it was hard but it was evident that you were not as happy as you could be. Wish you all the best! Good luck to you!