After watching you this season, seriously anyone that calls 'everyone' else a liar is usually the one with that problem!!

I just saw the episode where you were going thru your wedding items. I'm going thru a divorce and can totally relate to how difficult that was, whatever the circumstances. He cheated and left, but regardless, I know that we both grieve the loss of our marriage in our own way. I'm not sure that I'll be able to throw out our champagne flutes from our wedding.
((Hugs)) honey, divorce sucks no matter what. And it will continue to hit you over time as you heal, even if you are in another relationship. Just take the time you need to when you need to. I totally get it.

Tamara... please take a look through the pages of "Why does he do that?". written by a man.. and good read.. I will bet the pages you read will be like reading the pages of your life...

Tamra, u are hot.

Tamara,

you are by far my favorite housewife.i wish you and your children happiness.i can totally identify with what you had to go through.i have been going through it too.your ex reminded me a lot of mine.you are so strong even though it may have felt like the opposite in the beginning.it's a relief to move on.

hugs,
Dara

is there going to be another show this yr and if so when will it start 07/26/2010

I don't know what got into Simon this season (I'M sure it has built up for awhile)but the overprotectiveness...too much. You will make it lady! You are a strong , beautiful & an awesome mom! Be looking for you next season!

Hi Tamra..I enjoy watching you on the Housewives of OC and hope you will do another season. I admire your courage for leaving Simon. You seemed very unhappy for awhile and I'm sure it was way worse than the show even aired. Good luck to you & your children. I'm in the same boat as you...only I haven't left yet.

I agree with everyone. I don't know if it was the way they edited the show (to make Simon look bad) but WOW. He has some serious issues and he was very condesending and disrespectful towards you.

I got sooo mad watching the show, I wanted to hug youtoo, tell you just like Vicki that what he was doing was WRONG> Thank goodness you decided to seperate. Yikes. He is scary. Of course, I totally understand you have to think of your children but Simon is BAD NEWS. What a total jerk.

Hello my name is Ester im from Enfield CT I just wanted to tell u to stay strong,I wished u two could of worked out but Simon has alot of insercuritys and has to just trust u and love u for who u are not what he wants to make u.Your children will see how good of a mother u are and how u stood up for yourself no matter what u did was right and i and alot of women out there are prode of u it takes alot of strenght to do what u did God Bless u and ur children and Simon to i wish u all the best Ester

Hi Tamara

You are an extremely beautiful woman. Your husband, at least the limited clips I have seen, appears to be very controlling and non appreciative of your inside and outside true beauty. Let me know if you are interested in a very successful 42 old high tech entrepreneur, well educated (MBA), white guy, in great shape ( very muscular) that knows how to treat a woman like a princess.

Well I thought that you were great this year and I hate seeing you and Simon split up but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. I seen how Simon was controlling of you and I have dealt with that first hand. I hope that you will continue with the show, I feel that you don't have to have a husband to be a Orange County Housewife. Stay strong and do what makes you happy. Go take motorcycle lessons and buy a pink Harley.

Tamra, I want to congratulate you on doing what you needed to do to make yourself happy. I was in a marriage similar to yours and I know what it is like to walk on eggshells in fear that something you do or say might anger your husband. I'll never forget when he said to me, "You think you're so strong all of a sudden." As if that's a bad thing! Some of the things Simon said to you gave me chills and I knew exactly what you were feeling.

Good luck with your new life and stay strong! You're a beautiful, intelligent woman and you have so much to look forward to!

(My own divorce is final this Monday and I am happier than I have ever been!)

Tamra u did what u had to do!! I would of done the same thing even if it meant I would end up in a shelter! it was no way to live and no way to set an example to your kids!! When u are a great mom and do all your motherly duties at the end of the day u need to have a smile on your face not a FROWN who tghe hell deserves that!! U do what u have to do and u go girl!! your strong!! u are women and you ROAR!!!!

Tamra I think its wonderful for you to be able to be you again. Free, Fun, Relaxed, and Happy.

Tamra,
I never thought that the real housewives of o.c. would be a show that I got addicted to watching. If it was not for you it would not be as good of a show as it is not because of any of the drama but you are just a great person to get to know with each show. I hope that you do not let anyone’s opinion about your divorce bother you. I really felt for you on the season finale and was sad for you, but after seeing the reunion show it was a relief to see how happy you looked. My parents also divorced when I was four years old, the same age as your daughter that is not taking the divorce well. Divorce is hard on children at any but sometimes divorce is necessary as it was in your situation. The only thing that matters is that your children have a mother and father that care about them and I know that they do. I think that you are a wonderful mother and I know you are going to find a great guy that treats you like a princess. You are the most beautiful housewife (even the psychic at Vic's knew that). I wish you all the best Tamra I truly do and I look forward to seeing what is in store for your future!

tamra...simon is a controlling FREAK ! your not you when your around him/ with him ....your ALWAYS scared / living in FEAR ! that's not a way to live ...DIVORCE is the best thing for you !!!!!

Tamra, I give you all of my support in your relationship. I'm glad that you can find yourself again. I can relate to your children the most in your situation, since I too was only four when my parents were divorced. i don't even remember my parents ever being married, and I don't even have any pictures of them together. If I may suggest that you have an open relationship about the divorce with your children, since I blamed myself for years seeing as I was the youngest and figured that I was the reason for their divorce. I always felt like I could never talk about it with either of my parents, and after you have recovered and found your strength I hope that you can let yourself feel comfortable with openly talking about it with your children. I would never wish for your children to go through the devastation, denial and grief I went through then that still fallows me today.
Much love.

I am proud of you Tamara for standing your ground and taking the scary step of being a single mom. I believe you are doing the right thing. I know we don't get to see everything that happens in your life, but what we did see was not a happy life. Simon seems to be very controlling and belittling towards you. The last thing that needs to happen is to continue this cycle through your children. The cycle of abuse needs to stop with you. Be brave and you will soon find how happy you can really be.

from being an outsider and watching the show.almost everything simon had said to you my mouth dropped,he is a very evil person and people like simon will never change.things dont get better,even if you guys were to get help,there are way too many bad memories.

Sometimes the bad times drive you apart, not bring you closer together, unfortunely. That is the real test of the relationship that maybe it was not meant to last forever. I think there is a lot of resentment and oppression in the relationship of Tamara and Simon. You don't lash out at each other like they did in the Final Episode in the limo drive without deep seated resentment. Simon seems to think Tamara will always be the same person she always was, but difficult and stressful times in your life, and in your relationship permenantly changes you, changes your perspective and sometimes brings out the worse of you. You can't undo that, it can only softens in time. They seem to lack the tools of real communication in their relationship, they both want to blame someone or something else. You have to take personal responsiblity.

Many times when I watched the show you seemed to cause the conflict between Vickie and your husband by pushing the issue. In other moments you would tell your husband that you didn't want to be anything like Vickie and in other moments you would tell Vickie you were scared of Simon or sorry for the way he acted. I believe that you are trying to please both and you can't. I don't know Simon or how he really makes you feel but I would advise you to take time away from the show and concentrate on your marriage before you decide to divorce. When you are married your husband becomes your center focus as you do with your beautiful kids. I don't think that Simon is trying to control you but as you stated you had children young, married and didn't have a life of your own and know you are trying to do so. This is why Simon is having difficulties with the change he sees in you. I think that Simon also needs to see you for who you are a mother who wants to spread her wings. In this situation there is plenty of blame to go around but what needs to happen is the balming needs to stop and love needs to begin. Seek counseling it does help and most of all trust in the LORD.~praying for you

Vicki wants Tamra to be a strong woman. You dont need a man that keeps you down. Simon is to controlling. He will regret the divorce. Tamra you stay strong.

Well Tamra I feel like a lot of the others don't give your husband up just to have a close friendship with Vickie. Your husband is your best friend before anyone else. The way you an Simon was befor you met Vickie was just lovely I loved the way Simon was with you a lot of women would love to have her man put her on top of the world. i really hope you can work things out with Simon don't give up on your marriage. Simon needs to seek help so that things can start to turn around for you because thats what it is going to take to save the marriage.

Dear Tamra, Thank you for being brave and vulnerable in a difficult time. I noticed you are seeking personal freedom. If you are really on the path of personal liberation you will find it, not in people who dominate your self expression, power and pursuit of happiness. But you will find it within you. No one can give you this, thus begins the hard work of self discovery.
As for Simon, it is my speculative opinion he is not interested in what you seek. Does he put you first before himself? Does he bring out the best in you? Now that you know what he wants and what you want the action for you to take is clear. Freedom is work and to some people, well worth it.
Peace and Serenity to you Tamra.
-William
PS.
Check out Landmark Education, The Landmark Forum. There's an office in Newport Bch. Good Luck.

Tamra, you deserve someone who respects you and cares for you. There are men like Simon who want to control your every move. You don't need to be in a relationship that is so negative. Things will get better.

Dearest Tamra,
You are a wonderful person and it hurts my heart to see you go through such a rough time. I was married to someone so much like Simon and it was really a hard time ( we divorced twenty five years ago when I was 26 yrs old and I am now with the greatest man I have ever met! We have been together since I was twenty seven and I can't imagine life without him. Anyway, I know you feel like your life will never be good again, but it will get better and better. I wish so much I could talk to you, but please just know that you and your precious children will be OK, you are a wonderful and caring Mother and friend and I wish you the very best! Hang in there....

Hey Tamra,

I did not read the blogs until the season was over...so I just got the news the other day watching the show. (the divorce)

I am very sorry for you and your family. My Mom and Dad divorced when I was 14. I know how it feels and how it can impact ones life. It being divorce.

You are young enough to find that special someone and I will be praying you will find you and keep you around this time. The next guy must accept a career gal and someone who has it all ! Keep the faith and see you next season better than ever !

Tamra, Simon is too controlling. He treats you like a child instead of a wife, although I don't think he means to. I think counseling and your being honest with him (telling him what you told Vicky)would have made things different. I only see 1 hour a week so I should not judge, however that last episode Simon was a bit much with his questions. As soon as he sees you and Vicky together he sees red blaming her for a failed marriage......

hi Tamra,

just posted a comment to you. i dont know why but i really feel emotional about u and simon.... got tears in my eyes... sorry about being so emtional ...it seems to me that u2 still love each other .... love dont come easy..... hope things work out.. if not. still wish u2 all the best ...

love
zoe

Tamra,

i would not know best... but all i know is maybe somewhat u2 can work things out.....12 years of marriage and 12 years of love ... that IS A BIG DEAL!

NO MATTER WHAT! wish u and simon all the best !!!

life is full of ups and downs... 2 people meet and decide to share a life together is not just a coincidence... anyway it is your choices, wish u guys all the best!

Tamra,

I too went through a divorce and I have a child. I have since moved on and have a met a great guy. Simon seems like a good guy, but I do see some control issues on his behalf. I can relate to how you felt, I went through that and the fact that my ex was a cheater. Some say the grass is not greener on the other side, but sometimes it can be. You should enjoy your life and not spend days on end unhappy. Life is too short. Unhappy relationships affect the children more than the parents just divorcing. I hope that Simon takes a look at the things that he did that played a part in your happiness and works to fix them. You deserve happiness. I also wanted to say, if Vicki and Simon have issues, let them have their issue. You should not have to choose sides and you should not have to be in the middle of their elementary behavior toward one another.

Can we please get Tamra Barney her own reality dating show, she is the hottest housewife on earth, she needs a real man and if anyone deserves to have their own show its her.

Tamara, divorce is a hard thing to go thru, but in the long run wouldn't you rather be divorce and happy than miserable and married. I'm finally glad you stood up to your self, Simon is a very controlling person and very selfish to your needs. Somewhere you lost yourself in this marriage. Marriage is two way street and not just Simon's street if you know what I mean. Vicki was only being your friend and friends like that you want around for comfort. I blogged Simon and said that at some point you were going to stand up for yourself and leave him. You are a strong person and funny and alot going for you don't give up on yourself. DIVORCE the SOB you can do better, believe me I went thru the same situation as you are. Peace out Tamara and enjoy life you're still young.

Tamra~
At the end of last night's show, when the words read "Simon files for divorce", I was shocked. I know
you have had a difficult time with each other, but I
was still shocked. I have to say you are my favorite
housewife on the show! I'm 46 years old, on my 3rd
marriage, but I don't have any kids. If there's one
thing I've learned in those 46 years, it's that there
really is someone for everyone. I just hope (and pray) this will not be very painful to your kids. If you need to talk, you can email me. We can never have enough friends!

Tamra,
Simon really needs to unclench his buttocks a little. Jeeze, he looks like he's afraid if he lets loose that fist he has you in, you will go crazy. He actually thinks he can control you with what he says and how he acts. He needs way more than one happy shot. I'm sure he has done good things for you and the kids. Maybe he is going through his midlife crisis now. I just wish you the best in the future. Happyiness, health and most of all hope. Don't ever lose that.

Sweety I was at the same crossroad u r aT. OUT COME WE DID DIVORCE. WE LOVED EACH OTHER DEARLY. and did till the day he died. We could not live together.I was damned if I did and damned if I didnt.Simon seems to be the same personally as my ex..Move on . its ok .You will be fine.All my love

Reading through these post's & I am absolutly amazed at how many of you woman encourage Tamra to stay.. I am a christian woman & believe in marriage, but their are some serious deal breakers going on with Simon. He's very verbally abusive & tries to control her every breath... Who would want to live like that forever? THAT'S NO WAY TO LIVE, life is too short!!

It's obvious Simon cares for you. It seems you were looking for everyone else's opinion's on your marriage. A marriage is about only 2 people working together to make it work. Those are the vows that you made to each other. In counseling, you learn how to communicate with each other and truly hear each other. No 'friend' can give you objective advice. It is not their marriage. I think that is what Simon wanted you to understand. It is not for Vicki to fix. It is for you and Simon to figure out how to reconnect. That is what a good counselor can help you learn.

I really hope that she and Simon work it out. She has been my favorite "housewife" on that show, along with the HoNew York.
Good luck Tamra!
TAM

You know i think you all should just back off and stop trying to give advice this is not your marriage..... it's Tamra and Simon and whatever they decide is none of our business. I know they are living there life in the public eye right now, but we has veiwer don't see everything that happens in there lives, so why don't us tv viewing people just leave the decision up to the ones that are living it SIMON AND TAMRA.

OMG I can't believe that some of these viewers think that you and Simon separated due to Vicky he was to controling and jelous good for you Tamara you did the right thing. I know how hard it is my husband can be a dick at times when I saw how he was towards you, flash backs.........good for u...... MCG

Tamra,

I think I am sure that you'll be okay without Simon, he is a nice guy when he wants but at the same time he needs treatment he has control-issues! I think that you're wonderful and I love your spontaneity!! You are a rel person, clear as the water....and that shows that that you're a 100% genuine person.

BTW, I love you motto: "the can come younger, but NOT hotter" :).. You're awesome@! God bless you!

Love,
Melissa

Tamra have to move on with your life you have kids and look forward to get them I'm from mexico city and just going to spend the season 5 but I go to the official site where I learned that you did not divorce much about simon the item but it will come forward and ask you to continue in the program and follow and hopefully you and Jean are with which I identify and go that well bye

Tamra, I've watched the show since the beginning. Simon doted on you so much that first season. He spoiled you, loved you so that everyone just knew, took care of your son when he needed a father and never crossed that line (only setting an example and enforcing some respect); if you go through with a divorce, you are a fool. Although, it seems like the one who wants the divorce is he. I feel sooo for you. You don't think it's coincidence that all the women closest to Vicky on the show either brake up with their boyfriend (ie Jo) or husband (ie Jeanna). Would you really give up your husband of 13 years and the father of your children, to be friends with Vicky. Don't do a Jen Aniston honey, because you will be lonely. In a year he'll be moved on, living just fine and dandy with a new wife younger and prettier than you, and you'll be in an apartment with all your kids lonely and struggling. Try to reconcile with your husband who underneath all of the hurt and controlling behavior, loves you and was very much afraid of losing his wife. Granted he went about it the wrong way, but there was a time when you had nothing and he gave you everything, because he loved you. Don't be stupid...get rid of Vicky not your husband.

I comepletly agree with "Beans" comments on 20 Feb.

Tamra, you are a great person, that shines through on the show. You have faults, like us all. However, your husband is horrible to you, he stifles you at every opportunity. You have some great ideas, great thoughts, you are so funny, yet he puts you down about the things that make you who you are.

I know we all only see snippets from what is filmed and there is always bias, however, it appears to be a lot of his problems with you, that cause all the tension. He wants to blame it on others, and not accept his part in the problems.

You should be proud of yourself and your girls.
Don't be upset or embarrassed at what is happening with your marriage (as hard as that is) because you have done a great job at holding it all together in the face of trials and tribulations.

Your husband needs to go to some therapy to address his narcissism and insecurity issues. Perhaps because his business is hurting, his ego is hurting. He needs to blame someone else, and we tend to blame the one's we love.

He needs to take a long look in the mirror and at his mistakes.

He will look back in years to come and realize you were the best thing that happened to him. HIS LOSS.
Sell it all, split it all, support your girls, scale down the lifestyle to live within your mean, get a modeling job, work in the Kardashians clothing store- whatever you have to do, but get your own life away from his selfishness and callousness. Have a mediator take the kids to him so you dont have to see him. At least initially.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU TAMRA.!!!!!
Your fan
female, married, 28

Tamra,

This is slightly embarrassing for any manly guy to admit. I'm a 41 year old guy who rides a Harley, drives a truck and feels most comfortable when covered in mud. I would never admit I follow this show. Can't even really explain why. I'm just intrigued I guess. Anyway, I couldn't say how much we see Is Hollywood and how much is "real". You are a beautiful lady with a great personality. One of the few on the show who seems to care about others. Simon also seems to be a great guy. Stop and ask yourselves how things were before the "Show" came into your lives. Were you really happy?
My best friend and his wife have one child of their own and two from her previous marriage. They had another child of their own. Unfortunately, he passed away less than a year old. Her two children are giving them a fit. They are experiencing the same challenges you and Simon are. It's sometimes easy to lose focus on what is right and wrong when you care deeply for your children. Only the two of you can really say if your love is strong enough to last. If so, unfortunately, those daily struggles we all face will always be their to test us along the way. I hope everything works out for you two. Try to be a little understanding of Simon. As a guy, it's easy to see he cares about you and your well being. He seems to just want to live a simple life without too much drama? Is there such a thing out there? Good luck to you!

I think Simon is an angry guy with real control issues. Underneath it is probably a lot of fear from the past and only he will decide if he's willing to work on that. You can find a guy who enjoys and supports you, not one who critizes and controls. Especially with your exposure on the show, I'm sure there are 1000 hot, rich and great men who would want you.I haven't always enjoyed you on the show Tamara. You and Vicki were the mean girls last season and you are still sooo competitive with Gretchen.she really hits a nerve with you, I agree it's jealousy. But u both can be hot and gr8!

Dear Tamara
You are a beautiful woman. I hope that a very handsome and wealthy guy is headed your way. That Simon didn't appreciate you . Kick him to the curb like the trash he is
I am sorry that your heart got broken by that scum . You rock.
sincerely,
Evelyn

I think this show has gotten to your head. You would probably still be married if not for the show and all the publicity. Where will you be when its over? Hmmm.....