Welcome to Florida, don't mind the alligators, wild boars or small flying animals that they call bugs and get use to sweating. With that said, I am ready to move there! I loved it, probably one of the most exciting trips we have been on.
OK, so the guys went ... get over it! The girls spent so much time together the only thing left was sleeping together and that wasn't going to happen! The guys going all started with Simon, Jim Alexis, and I talking. As married couples with small kids it is very seldom that we take trips alone, together or apart. We thought it would be fun if the guys came and did guy things while the girls did their thing. So that is exactly what happened. The girls spent 80% of the time filming doing fabulous things; we even took a water taxi and went shopping downtown. The guys went golfing, worked out, and hung out by the pool. Everybody was happy ... or so I thought. The last night we were there we went on the sunset cruise after our shopping trip. We thought it would be nice to have the guys there. I didn't think for a second that Vicki would have a problem with it. I felt really bad when I saw how upset she was, but later found out that she had friends in town and went out to dinner with them. Despite what you saw, Lynne had a great time on the boat and was cracking us up with her imaginary Frank. We had wonderful food, great wine and conversation. The guys were even diving off the boat … too bad they didn't show that.
The most exciting part of the trip was Bubbba and Billie's Swamp Safari. What a trip that was! Starting with the helicopter ride over there. I sat in front and was pretty much speechless. Getting on the buggie and going through the swamp was a blast. The girls were screaming and yelling and laughing the whole time. Gretchen and I really seemed to be getting along, it was so nice to put the past behind us. I was a little worried about Lynne, I know Dr. Ambe (www.newportbeachplasticsurgery.com) was NOT to thrilled that she was in Florida and I told him I would make sure she followed his rules. By the end of the buggie ride she was looking a little tired and swollen so she went to lie down while we blew around on an airboat feeding alligators and wild boar. Now that was some downright dirty fun, I say that because we came back with mud all over us.
All I can say is you didn't have Vicki's back...she asked you not to talk about her and what do you do as soon as you got in the car...then that fake cry come on...what a joke
I'm so much like you as far as family background, taste in men, personality, etc. However, I am a smidge older than you and I think that you are making a huge mistake when you say you don't want to be in the middle of Simon and Vicki's arguments. YOU ARE ALREADY THERE. You are the one person who they have in common. Your husband and children come first - UNLESS he is causing you hurt over a relationship with a close friend. I am with a very controlling man too. HOWEVER, the one thing that saves us is that he always tells me it doesn't matter what he thinks of my friends, he will always be gracious and kind to them and never make them feel uncomfortable. It is up to me to choose my friends, is what he tells me. And that gives me courage and a thoughtful heart about who I associate with. I want to show him I won't associate with trashy people. That is where I feel Simon goes wrong. And you. It would appear from watching tonight's episode and now reading your blog that you are not a true friend to Vicki and, I have to suspect, to anyone. I hope you can salvage both your marriage and your friendship with Vicki by being strong with Simon about being a more honorable man when it comes to your friends and about not being unkind or disrespectful to your very good friend. Good Luck. P.S. Vicki did the only healthy thing left to her after you all mistreated her that night. She sought out emotionally healthy friends who made her feel supported. Why would you bash her about that?
Totally understand all the drama on the show. Vicki wants to go away with the girls for a fun trip! When you're a full time working woman, your time is very limited. Add a husband, kids, a dog and breathing time and your time becomes very special and precious to you. I've had the same scenario happen where the husbands wanted to join in and it does change the whole dynamics of an event. I opt not to go, I want to hang with the girls, not their husbands. When my husband is not working he becomes the female in the relationship and starts picking on anyone or everything that bugs him. His time and mind is not utilized to the extent it needs to be. Simon concentrates so much on you and your marriage it will smother you. Men need a mental occupation which is usually work. Simon and you have a wonderful family, he needs to realize you can be independent in thought, yet still be dedicated to a realtionship. Best wishes.
Tamra, You are just a bubble of joy!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
FYi Totally agree with the whole new years drama. Why go out when you can ring it in with your kiddies? And you were right to be upset at Gretchen for bringing drama inot your life.
By the way, IF someone were to ask you to stand for them in her wedding, since you're married, you would be a Matron of Honor, not a Maid of Honor.
It was a Girls Only trip. Men were not invited, Lynn was uncmfortable on the boat. The couples were rude to ignore her. No men....abide by the plan or don't go.
You ladies were in the wrong in bringing your husbands and boyfriend for the weekend getaway. The men were not invited form the start. Gretchen, Alexisand You, should have bowed out of the weekend all together if your men could not live without your for 3 days. It doesnt matter that you had the girl things and then the guys would meet up with you. Vicki invited you all for a Girls weekend only. Once you found out your husbands were not happy about that and wanting to go you should have bowed out from the weekend completely. Therefore putting and end to any hurt feelings or drama. Dont get me wrong You and Vicki are my too favorite housewives and the show is about you women your lives and yes that includes your husbands but not to the involvement that is occuring on this season so far. It feels like the men are taking over the Housewives every chance they get. Again I adore Vicki and You best of luck in your mending your friendship.
Sandie in NH
I'm sure that your conversation with Vicki at Bliss was uncomfortable since you did not have her back the night before. And did you really watch that footage of Lynne on the boat? She did'nt really look that comfortable. The next time that someone asks you to go away for a "girls only weekend" why don't you just say no? If you don't want to or your husband does not want you to go anywhere without him then fine that's your business, but it's rude to commit to something and then not follow through.
I just wanted to know if it ever occured to anyone that maybe since Vickie is the one who intiated the trip and invited you gals maybe she would not have done the trip at all knowing none of you could or would go alone. Your husbands changed her trip and it wasn't fair to her. I would have left and gone home. You guys should have told her before you left your husbands were coming. She would not have come and then if you all wanted a couples retreat you could have done that with other couples.
Lynne was the only one who knew it was meant to be a ladies only trip. I guess her man is secure in how his acts and she goes for fun and not to be naughty. She doesn't go away as much as Vickie, but that is OK. If Simon felt you changed just because you hung with Vickie it is not her fault. He knows she is a strong woman but if he was so sure of you and your marriage he would not mind or care about her influence over you.
Hope you guys all work that out and next time a friend asks you to a girls only function say no if you can't or will not be going Simon.
You are a pretty lady. Take the high road and stop talking so badly about Gretchen. Let it go! You attacked her character and you are surprised she is attacking you?
Tamra, I'm a big Tamra fan and will continue to be, however, I can completely understand why Vicki was upset. It was her trip that she planned. It would have been completely different if she had said that it was a couples trip but,it was a girls trip. I too have a relationship where I do not travel apart from my husband unless it is absolutely necessary and yet, once a year, I have a girls weekend with my sisters. There is nothing wrong with that and in fact, it is healthy. I say this as someone who has what my friends call an "unbelievable marriage" and has been married for seventeen years.
Hi Tamara - I don't think you have to "choose sides" But I do think you need to make some kind of decisions and put your foot down and stick to whatever decision you make. If you dont make any decisions on issues about your son, or about Vicki you will always be stuck in the middle. You are your own human person. Make a decision about situations and people will have to respect where you stand on issues. That way simon isn't controlling every decision YOU are suppose to make, because you can make it for yourself, thus being caught in the middle. As firm as you are about Gretchen you need to have that same confidence with people you care about. People with respect you for that. When you can make the decisions at the time, just pray on it. You are the hottest housewife!
I'm really proud of you attempting to let bygones be bygones with Gretchen. On a visceral level I think you know that whole situation was a little silly anyway! You have so much to worry about, no use in holding a grudge that really has nothing to do with you.
Tamra I am sad that you are losing your house. But I think you would be a lot better off if you were influenced by Vickie. Simon too.
Tamra you are a big girl, you are beautiful, hysterical, and you care. Vicki and Simon both like you, one wants to be your friend and the other your husband. This should be a wonderful thing and you should be able to have both. At the end of the day the only thing (at least they air'd) was that Vicki planned this wonderful "Girls Trip" and the guys came and then made Vicki feel uncomfortable and bashed her behind her back. Very un-cool. She had just right to be upset. There are 52 weekends a year I am sure one of them could be a couples weekend. or a romantic weekend. Just think back to when it was just you and your son... I am a single mom barely making it. I am sure you know the scarey feeling. Just keep in mind how blessed you are to have all these people that want you in their life and that you have the opportunities to go one vaca. And tell Simon and Vicki to kiss and make up for you.
Hey Tamra, Just got done watching previews for next weeks episode and I was glad to hear you possibly patching things up with Gretchen. Although I understand your husband and agree with him to a point about not letting someone who has hurt you be close to you, you have to do what's right for you. Holding grudges is toxic. Your only hurting yourself by dragging on the same old drama with Gretchen. We like you better when we see episodes like tonight's episode when you were all getting along. It's time you move on and it would be great if you can both forgive, but you don't necessarily have to forget. Karla
Tamera - I never thought I'd ever think this...but... I totally AGREE with Vicki on this. It was "her trip"... "her gig"... had one of you other girls put it together than that's different. I still don't see why Simon and Jim had to follow you two women to FL. I see it as controlling... or paranoid! I've been married 15 years... my husband deer hunts, he goes yearly for at least 5 days. I've go on girl trips as well....and we go on family vacations with the kids. We do not have the luxury of having someone watch our kids for two or three days. I truely believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. You two might find it therapeutic! Again, never thought I'd feel like this towards Vicki, especially after last season, but I think she holds her "friends" near and dear to her and feels that she is the protector... thus protecting you girls from what she sees as odd behavior from your significant others.
Tamra, I have to admit that I haven't been your biggest fan the past 2 seasons, but this season that is changing. You sincerely seem like you want the drama to die down. Although it is apparent that you and Gretchen will never be besties, it seems that you are trying to get along or at least tolerate her, and just trying to keep the drama to a minimum. I applaud you returning to work in this awful time of recession. I know it must be hard to not be there for your children all the time, but it shows character that you are willing to go out, and work when things get tight around the house. Your children will understand one day, and be grateful their mother was willing to work to provide them with the best you can give them. I hope this new attitude continues throughout the season. I really have enjoyed this Tamra more than the Tamra's on the past 2 seasons.
Just have to say love the show thanks for another season. You and your husband are great dont let anyone tell you diff.
If you liked it there, you should come to Louisiana.. =)) We have REAL Wild Life.. That was... like chip change.. LOL
Well I made a comment on Vicki's post & now that I read this, I'm really sorry. I said I thought Jim & Alexis deal had something to do with SImon not wanting you to go alone, but w/ what you said, I can Totally Understand wanting a weekend away w/ Just your hubby and friends, she should have made it a "Couples weekend and Invited Don" I think he would have enjoyed!! =) So anyway, THIS is why I want to stop watching... I love ya to much to see you cry.. it makes me cry.. Lets just have HAPPY Times, FORGET RHOC... 2 Much DRAMA! Love You Girly!!!
I've got Goose bumps.. The LAST part of that Blog is WONDERFUL Girl.. Such Wonderful, Loving Energy, it's Just Marvelous my dear friend!! Enjoy your family honey! Much Love Jess
While I love togetherness with my Husband, in this instance you, Gretchen, And Alexis were wrong.This was Vickis plan for an all girls trip.If the three of you wanted time with your men you should have told Vicki and gotten her opinion.Would you go on an all boys trip with Simon if the person who planned it didn't know?I don't think so. You really owe Vicki an apology!
I think you handled the issues with Vicki really well. I was also glad to see you and Gretchen getting along - that shows real class. Sure Vicki wanted it to be a girls' trip and by the sounds of it - it was - except for at night. It's interesting that this season Vicki doesn't want to go out at night without her husband yet last season "her girls" were ready to come out and play. It's too much drama - even for TV. I totally understand the struggle between not having time to get away and if you are going that far and being gone for that long it makes sense to bring your husband. IF vicki wants a girls' weekend - maybe just head down to San Diego or Palm Springs for a night. Stay Strong!
I have to agree with most of the posters. The weekend was planned by Vicki and things were arranged ahead of time for just the girls (Helicopter ride - the swamp tour - Gretchen talked about what she was supposed to bring). You and Alexis should have declined the invitation if the guys wouldnt let you go without them (ok...you are a 40 year old woman and should not be told what you can and can not do) You were quick also to tell them in the Limo on the ride to the boat trip - how Vicki reacted which of course made the men make comments. You are Vicki's friend and she has had your back. Next time - just dont say anything. Lynn was very uncomfortable and I felt sorry for her. I think the guys enjoy the drama more than anyone else. I also believe that Simon and Jim have a problem with a successful woman like Vicki. Simon appears not to be doing well in his career and I won't comment on what Jim does(pawnbroker...please). As for Slade, I am sure he cares for Gretchen but he is a attention hound (his show with Jo finding a date and showing up whenever the cameras are around) so Gretchen did come to the weekend alone.
Vicki's kids are grown and she is focusing on her career. There is nothing wrong with that. You two just have different career directions and I am sure once your children are older - you will be focusing on your career. You seemed quite happy to be doing Real Estate again. It is kind of ironic that Simon tells you that you are too involved in your oldest son's life but what he how he treats you is over the top.
Good luck on your relationship with Simon...it appears that as his career is struggling...he appears to tighten his grip on your. Most people with control issues react that way.
If you don't want to travel without your husband, don't go on a girls get-away. It's very unfair to the girls that are there for some girl time and to have a trip solely about them.
I agree with you that there is nothing wrong with bringing your husband along on a trip. Every marriage is different and if you and Simon only travel together and that works for you then that's great. I do have to take Vicki's side though when it comes to this particular weekend. A "girls weekend" is just that...for the girls. And if that doesn't jive well within your marriage then I think you should have politely bowed out of the trip. There is nothing wrong with someone politely declining an invitation, however I do think that it is rude to change someone else's planned event.
Having the husbands around at a "girls weekend" or "girls night" or "girls whatever" does change the dynamic. It becomes less about bonding with your female friends.
I DO think that a couples weekend would be a great idea and that it would be great if you planned a different event that was tailored to the couples.
Sorry...even after your explanation I am with Vicki on this one. After reading the blogs I would say the viewers are with Vicki also. The guys should not have gone on a GIRLS trip period! I feel sorry for you that you don't get it. If Simon and Vicki were having problems then it makes even more sense that HE does not come along since she planned the trip. If you and Alexis can't be separated from your husband, then you should not have gone on the trip. The best marriages are based on TRUST and you and Simon (Alexis and Jim) seem to be missing that. That said, I do like you better this season than the past 2.
Tamara - I see that you love your husband, but why do you always stay on the outside? You want to stay out of it with Ryan, out of it with Vicki, etc. It almost as if you are afraid of what will happen with Simon. Obviously you do what you want in your relationship but it seems like you don't get to breath. Simon appears pretty controlling and although he continually wants Vicki to stay out of his business, he continues to bad mouth her and Gretchen. Why not take his own advice? I wish you the very best, this is not a relationship that I would ever be able to be a part of. Something is missing - TRUST.
it broke my heart to see you crying over feeling bad about vicki..but why did you allow simon to say that vicki "influenced" you?? you are your own person and not influenced by anyone... i know that my husband would never say that about me..its just too disrespectful..
Tamra, I'm starting to like you this season. Last season you were just a horrible person. I like how you handled Vicki's drama. That woman will never change.
I strongly believe you girls who's men came along on the girls trip, owe Vickie an apology. I understand wanting to vacation with the spouse, but this was a GIRLS weekend. It wasn't about going out and picking up men, so what's the big deal with a little girl time. It really does make for a more stable relationship. If you can't trust each other for a few days apart, your not in a stable loving relationship. Control is NOT love.
"The guys going all started with Simon, Jim Alexis, and I talking. As married couples with small kids it is very seldom that we take trips alone, together or apart. We thought it would be fun if the guys came and did guy things while the girls did their thing."
Paint it anyway you like, in the end it was just plan ole rude to decide to change another person's invitation to suit your wishes. I've watched this show long enough to know, that if one of the other ladies had changed your invite into something else, we'd never hear the end of it.
In the future do the polite thing and just decline with a thank you.
Tamra, If someone invites you on a all girls weekend and your husband does not allow you to travel without him, then you should have not have accepted the invitation. Vicky put the weekend together for you ladies and the husbands/boyfriend should not have gone. Lynne understood the meaning of the weekend, and if you think that she had a good time by herself that's not what you could tell on the show last night.
Tamra! You are my favorite housewife. Love you. Just one observation though, it seems as though Simon is mad at everyone lately...first Ryan and now Vicki. I'm not saying his anger in either situation is not justified, but it does make one wonder when conflict seems to surround one person, you know?
I have to say bringing the husbands along was in poor taste. Nothing wrong with a few days away from your husbands. Vicki planned a GIRLS ONLY trip, if you couldn't handle it you shouldn't of went. Not a Vicki fan but I am with team Vicki on this one. You girls handled this situation with very little class.
Simon, Alexis' husband and you were all wrong. Vicki is the individual who hosted the Florida trip. If you and Alexis couldn't go without your husbands,you should have stayed home with them. But you had know right to change the direction of Vicki's event by bringing "the boys" along. And yes, I hear you saying the women spent 80% of their time together. The bottom line is Vicki invited you and you should have respected her wishes or not attended.
Tamra, I love ya but you were so wrong about this trip. "Grils only" means just that. Asking her to come on a sunset cruise without her hubby while you all kiss....ahhh, no thanks, I'll pass. Vicki was right and you were completely wrong and you know it. Don't trash your girl anymore, Tamra. So not cool.
Tamra, I am also a big fan of the show & all of you ladies. You each have your own special qualities that make the show great. I felt really sorry for Vicki, for the first time ever, last night. If it were a girl's weekend, I can understand why she was disappointed. I also don't blame her for going to dinner with another couple (she didn't want to be around Simon or Slade). I felt like you 'didn't have Vicki's back' at all from the show, but maybe parts were edited out where you were defending her. I bet she would tell people to shut it, if they were making fun of you behind your back. Sounds like editing doesn't portray to us viewers the entire situation, just what enhances ratings. Anyways, I cried & cried on the show where you were talking about your home & how that was the only home Sophie had known. Really touched my heart. I wish you the best, you are just a beautiful woman with a lot going on!
What it all comes down to is that Vickie planned a girls trip. Vickie did the inviting. So why would you assume that you could invite whoever you wanted? Very unclassy. Then the husbands began to bash Vickie and brought the rest of the wives in. How would you feel if you planned something and in the end became the odd person out?
I just started watching last season, and I'm not a Vicky fan, but she's supposedly your friend. The girls trip should not have included the husbands. If they are not comfortable with the wives going alone, then YOU GIRLS should have declined.
Moreso, it's very telling that your friend asked you to respect her by just letting the group know that she was hanging out with other people, yet the first thing you did was tell the entire conversation to the group. Talk about throwing gasoline on the fire...
As for Lynne, she didn't look comfortable to me, even if it were for a few camera moments. I wonder how Simon would have felt if he were the only man sitting among a group of romantic couples?
I loved you last year and I love you this year. YOu be you and never change for anyone. I don't agree with Simon being overprotective but with a hotter than freaking hot wife like you I can see where he may be nervous. Not so much with you but other men. You got it going on girl. I'm glad your staying home with your kids. New Years Eve....big deal. Happens every year. So what. We've been there - done that. Amateur night. Stay you and we love you sooooo much in San Diego.
It seems you are between a rock and a hard place with Vicki and your husband. I can see you frustration at wanting to make your husband happy and Vicki as well. I do understand Vicki's point of view as well - I long for time with just the girls! I think it is great your father is able to spend Christmas with you! I live in Williamsburg, Ia and it is cold, cold, cold!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Sarah in IA
I'm completely on the girls only side on this one and I'm surprised you didn't understand in advance that Vicki would be upset by the husbands being there. How that plays out behind the cameras, I can't even pretend to know. I will say that it is admirable that you broached the subject with Vicki at Bliss and that you obviously understand the level of emotion with her when you went to her room and were asking her to please join. I've been in your shoes as being part of a couple with a solo friend present and I've also been the solo friend. Depending on the couples, the comfort level varies for me. The editing showed that each of you broke away with your spouse for some alone time. Lynne did look uncomfortable at one point and no one likes being that person, the one sitting alone not knowing where to look or what to say. This should not be a new concept for any of you.
simon keeps talking about how you have changed since you met Vicki. maybe he is afraid that you started wanting something more of your wife; to not be just simon's wife. is he afraid you are only with him because of money. he seems to be putting his foot down more now that he is around alexis' husband and remembers when you needed his approval for everything. at least Don knows Vicki is with him because she loves him. is simon insecure enough to think that hard times will end you relationship because i would be suprised if it did. you seem to love him dearly.
tamra...am with team vicki on this one. a girl's weekend is a girl's weekend. if you want to get away with hubby go on a trip alone or go on a couple's trip. simon is very controlling and more afraid of losing you than you are of losing him. the very thing he is afraid will happen will, if he doesn't let go. to me the insult was to who you call a friend when she specifically asked you not to transmit what had been said between you and vicki in the hotel room and you got in the car and voila! ran off your mouth. if you want a friend you need to be a friend.