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Tamra Barney

Wives Gone Wild!

The birthday girl talks about her wild bash, her very unromantic dinner with Simon, and more!

Mar 2, 2010

Holy Mother of Oldness...Yet another birthday on TV! My BFF Ricky decided he wanted to throw me an ALL girl birthday party (yes, Ricky is one of the girls, Marcos was there too but he would get mad if I called him one of the girls) and I was very honored. This year was all about taking it down a notch and having lunch with my Ho's and Mo's was more than enough for me. I don't even know what MO means, Ricky has always called himself "My Mo."

Vicki was invited and confirmed she would be there. It was just a few minutes from her office and everyone takes a lunch...If you work or not! I had a feeling that she was going to back out after our hike in Coto. Things were a little weird between us, so I understand. It did feel a little strange that she sent David in with a gift and I almost didn't want to accept it.

I was really happy that Lynne and all my close friends were there. We were all afraid to see the footage. My friend Fernanda brought a bottle of cachaça (a Brazilian drink) and it kicked our booty. That reminds me, she has a Brazilian booty DVD that will kick anyone's booty www.brazilianbootyworkout.com. My friend CJ (cute Blondie in purple) who happens to own www.blissfulchick.com surprised me with some pretty interesting adults gifts that I begged the producers NOT to show. Then there was Jenn with her "Virgin again" pills. After a couple shots of cachaça and a XXX Martini from Infusion we suddenly turned into "Housewives Gone Wild." But I would have to say we had a blast, it was a birthday I will never forget!

 

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Tamra,you are definitely have been fun to watch & also sad,sorry your marriage broke up on tv! Hope we get more seasons of fun. I really think when you watch the season you will see that you really left Vickie hanging with Simon!She only gave info from what she was told! Good Luck!!!!!!

Many times I haven't thought much of your poorly chosen words or antics; however, when you & Simon were on the gondola ride & you were trying to cozy up to him & he launched into saying how all his friends wonder how he can have the "patience of a saint" with you....I could see you just deflate on the spot. There's enough blame to go around here, but I truly hope you both find your places of peace & your darling children feel secure & loved.

It was sweet how you reached out to Lynne but, really, she, Frank & those girls are all a trainwreck! Lynne needs to stop playing such a victim (here's an idea, how 'bout looking at the bills & bank stmts. for a start?), Frank needs to man up & the girls need parents capable of parenting & disciplining. Wish you the best, Tamra.

I love you and think you are the best and pretties housewive on the show. I sorry that you and simmon are not doing well but I hope for the best for both of you. Don't give up on vicki I love her to and she is a good friend. You stay strong.

Good luck to you Tamra! I enjoy watching you each week, you're too funny! I hope you find happiness in your new life!

There is life after divorce, and my ex and I have found we make much better friends than a couple. Divorce doesn't have to be a bad thing, it's all in your attitude. Stay positive and happy!

You are awesome. that is all I have to say!!!!!!!! HOld that gorgeous head high.

I'm so sad that you and Simon are headed for Divorce .... What about therapy ? Out of all the married housewives, I really felt that you two were going to make it ....

I am just happy to see that you are giving yourself some credit and also value yourself as you are a beautiful woman and showed that you are also a career woman that loves to be out there doing what you like so there should be nothing stopping you specially an axx like Simon which showed you all season nothing but disrespect.

Tamara, while I have to admit, you are a sweetie and I love your personality, you are VERY much like....ME! LOL! It seems like your love for Simon took a HUGE dive when the house was foreclosed (or was it a shortsale?). You seemed happy when money was not an issue. I have to be really honest in saying that I can see strong feelings of love between you both....don't let him go(even if it is final, got get him back), you will be so sorry. A soul mate is not worth losing over money. When our lives are over and we are on our deathbed, we are not going to sit there wondering how much money we have in the bank, but rather than, who is there to hold that last moments in our hearts forever...family...our soulmates...our children...not our bank acct.

I learned this from experience. :(

Tamra, it seems you are really into this whole thing hook line and sinker. Please remember that your family is ...suffering. You do not have to try to be so funny in the blogs...a natural reaction would be to at least be solemn and a bit of sadness that the family unit is broken . I hope you find happiness-you deserve it! Also, I hope your kids are wll.they are so precious. Be real...it's the only way. p.s. THANKS for at least acting like you are over the Gretchen-thing...that really shows personal growth and strenght on your part Much love in your future I hope.

oh tamra, I just love you to death. your by far my absolute favorite. My heart breaks for you cuz i know much you are torn between being happy or doing what you think is right, not for you but for the kids and the "family". I'm sorry things worked out the way they did and i hope you and the kids are coping well with the change. All my love and prayers to you and yours!

Tamra-thanks for the post. I'm so curious...how much do you Housewives get paid each season?

Each week I cringe every time Simon talks to you and about you, it is just awful. You are beautiful woman and a strong woman at that and I know he is the father of your children but you deserve better than that. Any man who treats his wife like that doesn't deserve to be married especially to you. I know that is only my perception and I only know what I see but each week I just am shocked more and more by what he says to you. So many woman change who they are for a man, but we deserve to be with someone who loves us the way we are, the real us. It took me a long time to realize that but now that I have I have never been happier. Just be true to you and stay strong.

Tamra, I really do hope that you and simon get a divorce! now i know that you are not supposed to wish that on someone but you truly deserve to be happy and you are very independent while simon has a huge stick up his ass. I think that you will do great without him! He needs to understand that this is not the 50's and women can provide for themselves and you are so strong that you can do anything you want to! I wish you all the luck in the world and tons of happiness in your future life!

Tamra,

I feel for you in the situation that you are currently dealing with, I personally think Simon's behavior at your birthday dinner was terrible. He should have sucked it up and enjoyed your b'day! I've noticed that he is a totally different person than he was in previous seasons. I hope you hold your head high and keep moving, if not just for your kids but yourself as well.

As far as your friendship with Vicki, she is a great and you have to understand that she loves to work, that is a part of who she is. You both need to hold on to your friendship and cherish (sorry for sounding cheesy) each other, you both have too much crap going on and it never hurts to have someone to lean on. Anyway, just keep being you!

Tamra, please watch you and Simon in the last season. I believe you will see how much the two of you were in love.

Tamara although I never wish couples part and divorce, I can totally understand why it was necessary for you and Simon. I do believe that you guys loved each other, but it was pretty evident that your relationship with Simon stifled your true personality and true happiness. I commend you for lasting as long as you did making your marriage work for the sake of your family, but you have to be happy in life. It was obvious that you had to be one person with Simon and able to let your hair down when he wasn't around. No one can go through life happily living that way.

Good luck. I hope the show didn't contribute to your divorce. You seemed like you had traits that balanced each other out but it's hard to get a true picture from a show that's focused on the entertaining moments.

ALL your friends? Where was ALexis?

Tamara we always say divorce is not an option, but when you're miserable and unhappy the majority of the time, then it's time to evaluate and move on. You have skills and you're attractive you can provide for yourself and help financially with the kids, let simon find a new puppet.

Tamra,

Happy Belated Birthday! Your lunch bash looked like you were having a blast. The dinner - not so much. One thing Simon Said that was true: you looked much younger than your years and remain very beautiful. You truly light up a room and are a very special person.

When you were talking to Lynne, the words seemed to speak of your own feelings and behavior. That was very telling of what your future would be.

As you renavigate single life, keep your chin up and your sense of humor intact. Best of luck to you and your family.

Tamra, I am proud of you for getting out of your marriage. God knows it isn't easy but your marriage was unhealthy and THAT is not good for the kids!!! YOU need to get yourself in a good place in order to be a good mother/daughter/friend/girlfriend!!

I must respond to the comments of mom2. I may be misunderstanding what she is saying but why should Tamra sacrifice her happiness for her marriage. She just wrote in her blog that she and Simon realized they are better parents apart. The way I see it... Life here on earth is one time and one time only... as well as short... it passes by so fast... so why should Tamra stay in an unhappy marriage. I'm divorce from my childrens dad and I have had the same experience. When Simon began to talk down to Tamra and building himself up or telling her what he has done for her, etc. I knew where Simon was coming from. He already knew he was losing Tamra and he tried to make himself look better by reminding her of what he has done for her and everything wrong she has done... I'm not saying this to be mean to Simon but I have felt the same pain in my life. It was painful to watch the episode where Tamra told him she hadn't gone to dinner like she had said. I saw the fear in Simon's eyes. He was already losing her and he was afraid she was going to tell him in front of their friends. One of the sweetest episodes for me was Lynn's dinner party when Tamra was in Simon's arms crying telling him she "I want to be on your side". Even think Simon was a little harsh with her. She showed a "sweet" side of herself. I think Tamra changed the past few years. But so did Simon. He more he tried to hold on to her the meaner he became. Its a shame they are getting divorced.I wish both he and Tamra well. I hope they both can be happy and raise their children together without arguing. God Bless Simon, Tamra, Ryan, Sydney, Spencer and Sophia.

People have to realize how hard it is for a man to not be the "bread winner" of the family and maybe that is why Simon has changed. He probably feels threatened by Vicki, because she is such a strong woman, who does well financially. No one can tell you what to do, but from experience divorce sucks and if you think the grass is greener on the other side, think again. If you don't fix the problems you have now, you might just take them to the next relationship.

As a viewer I understand that episodes are edited and we only see bits of actual events. With that being said, you need to watch all of this season's episodes with an open mind to see what kind of manipulating, controlling, jealous, and possessive man Simon has turned into. I normally don't suggest divorce to anyone, but in your case I say run, run fast and run hard.

I don't understand why Simon blames Vicki for the problems in your marriage. Vicki and Don have a marriage that works for them. I don't understand why Simon is always bashing on their marriage they seem to be happy. He needs to worry about whats going on between the two of you and not what Vicki is doing. I also think you owe Vicki a apology. Vicki is a very independant women has raised two responsible children and seems to have a honest relationship with her husband. They have had some rough spots but they worked it out. Vicki can be very blunt but she says it how she sees it and sometimes the truth hurts. When you and Simon were fighting you never once backed Vicki. You marriage is not between Simon, Vicki and you. The two of you need to take some responsibility for whatever happened in your marriage and quit blaming other people.

Tamra-I think you are great and am sorry you are going through a divorce. However, you need to ease up with Vicki when it comes to her work schedule. I would say it's the exception, not the rule, for someone who runs a company and has staff to take a lunch. You need to realize, it's not just Vicki. I only wish I could take an hour lunch every day!! Trust me, not "everyone" takes a lunch!!

You seem like a nice person, I wish you luck...Please look 5 years into the future to make sure that splitting up your family is really what you want to do. The TV Show will be in your past but you'll always have your family.

Hi Tamra, First I want to say that you look great. Now let me go on ahead and tell you that you are not doing anything that out of this world wrong. You just wanted someone to hear you out and luckily Vicki was the one who heard you. As far as her letting it all out to Simon well that was not right but oh well, what are you gonna do? No big deal. But I would say to you to try and see if there is anything left in your marriage sweetie because after all remember that you did love Simon with all your heart at one point!! Am I right? He is your husband and in the end it will be only you and him left, no else, just like when you started out,, it was just the two of you. Other than that, Tamra, have fun and enjoy life, we only have one life and that's it.

as a working woman, no we do not always get lunches. sometimes there is no breakfast either. i really dont think vicki would have had much fun with a bunch of drunk people anyway. obviously she could not have partaken in the drinking and gone back to work. i think it was kind of her to have a gift delivered because it showed she was thinking of you.

I am so glad you are doing better. I am only about 6 months ahead of you in the whole "divorce saga." In my case, we also realized that we are better apart than togehter. It is a struggle somedays, and I hope we made the right choice, but I know I couldn't continue on the path I was before. Watching you and Simon from my perspective now is reassuring me. All you would have to do is replace your face with mine, and Simon with my ex's and wallah....it is like watching my own marriage fall apart. I have to be honest...sometimes it has been hard for me to watch you and Simon this season, because I lived that not too long ago....but it also helps in its own weird way...LOL!

Best of luck to you, your children, and Simon. The best advice anyone gave me during my ordeal was to leave the games to the children and remember you are the adults. Also, you owe NO explanations to ANYONE except yourself. You are the one that has to wake up happy. My "this is going to be Ok" moment came when my 98 year old grandma told me that life is too short and goes to fast to be unhappy. She was right.

Tamara...I hope that this experience gives you a bit of some perspective on others' lives. You seem like you are a nice person but you are VERY critical of the way that people live their lives and you are very hard on people when it comes to their short comings and personal failures. Divorce (which I am divorced) is a personal failure, as necessary as it can be for a couple. I hope that people are embracing and supportive for you in this time and that you can take that experience to be supportive for others rather than critical.

Tamra: 'MO is short for Homo! I have several gay male friends who call themselves this! :)

It seems the pressure of having to tighten your belts has caused your divorce. I'm willing to bet that if Simon was still making a lot of money you both would be happy and you wouldn't be getting a divorce. Times like these tests a marriage. Yours failed miserably. Good luck to you both. God bless those three innocent children.

Hang in there Tamra! I think you're gonna be ok. You have opportunities now for gainful employment that will make you independent - and that is what you need more than anything else right now. You are still young and beautiful - you'll get another man. That is - if you want one, sister.

What the heck is Simon's problem this season???!!! I couldn't believe the comment he made after you licked his face something about "his friends can't believe he puts up with you??!!" Most guys would be so happy their wife did that and tried to keep the spark. I feel back because of your kids, but he truly needs some counseling on how to comprimise in a marriage!!

Hey Tamara. I've watched every single episode and you are definitely my favorite. Although I haven't agreed with you sometimes, I respect you as a person. You just seem so full of life and enthusiasm..It seems like Simon is always trying to hold you down and turn you into someone you're not..Maybe simon has a stuck up his "you know what" Lol. He needs to lighten up. Im sure marriage is hard but he's definitely not making it any easier on both of you.. From what I've seen, he always thinks he's right and that's not a habit, its a trait and can not be changed. I hope everything is going well for you and just remember, even when you're having the worst day..It can always be worse..you could be ugly for christ sakes! Lol =]

Tamra just want to say that you are AWESOME and I have so enjoyed you on the show this season. If you would've stuck up for Vicki a little more, you would've been 100% perfect. :) I had to re-watch the dinner scene, soooo awkward! But the funny thing is you said exactly what you needed to -- I am not reserved, you don't like that about me, etc etc... you hit the nail on the head. You're going to find someone amazing to take care of you, just like Lauri did, and I can't wait to see it all next season as Single Girl Tamra! Thanks for being a light-hearted, kind, beautiful person to watch.

It would have been professionally unethical for Vicki to have b'day drinks with you and then go back to work.

She has a legal responsibility to her clients to be lucid. Try to understand her pov.

btw, she gives a different version of the lunch events than you did.

As a working mom I speak from experience - I NEVER have a one hour lunch. Most days I don't have lunch. As a salaried employee I want to get my work done and go home.

Tamra-I admire your strength and your straighforwardness. I have to say I was really bothered by the way Simon was talking to you at dinner and then on the goldola. He was so rude in saying that people tell him he should have left you and how does he even putsup with you. My question is how did you put up with him? Anyway, it looked uncomfortable, and what a shame, especially on your birthday. Hang in there girl! You are amazing!!!

Tamra, I think you are great!! It is really hard to have alot of friends and also take care of your marriage at the same time. You are an inspiration to all of us cause you seem to hold yourself together eally well. Sorry about the divorce just stick in there and things will get better:)

Your awesome, both my husband and I love to watch, you keep it real, and good for you! Glad all is well, keep your head up girl!

Good luck to you now that the cameras have stopped rolling. please make sure your next husband knows how to handle his finances!!

I am sad to hear that you and Simon are getting a divorce. Of all the couples on the show, I thought you guys were the most in love, especially from last season's episodes. I was certain that Vickie and Don would divorce, not you guys. I guess it's hard to stay in love when you're broke. I truly feel bad for the children. They are very adorable. Whatever happens between you guys, I hope it will not affect them too negatively. You two really seem great together; you were together for over 10 years. Did you guys try therapy before you headed for divorce? Anyway, good lucks to you, Simon and your children.

TamarA YOUR MY FAVORITE HOUSE WIFE! GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN.

tamra you are the best,,, i know what is like to be in a marriage where you are not appreciated... i just feel bad for the kids but its always better to be apart and healthy. best of luck

Tamara:

Hopefully you'll learn from everything that has happened to you this year and grow from it. Just remember....beauty is only skin deep and your personality leaves ALOT to be desired.

Live life the way that makes you happy. Not how someone else thinks will......